Mom and I are halfway through the dead end when I notice a red BMW parked in my driveway that stops me in my tracks.
"What's Johnny's car doing here?" my mom asks and I panic.
"Crap! We had breakfast plans, I totally forgot."
"I'm sure he won't be too mad."
"I was at our new neighbors' house where there is a very attractive seventeen year old boy."
"Okay, he'll be pissed."
Johnny gets out of his car and I look him up and down. His white t-shirt paired with blue jeans and his jet black hair and dark sunglasses has him looking like every girl's dream and my nightmare.
"I have to take your grandma to the doctor today, why don't you two talk?" My mom offers.
I nod and bite my lip as I walk over to Johnny and hug him. He's only three inches taller than me, standing at five-ten, so my head rests perfectly on his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry," I say. "We stopped in to meet the new neighbors and I lost track of time."
"And you didn't answer your phone because?"
I try to think of an excuse for not checking it all morning when I remember it's been on silent the whole time I was next door. "I didn't hear it go off. I'm so, so sorry."
"It's fine." He shakes his head.
"We can do something else."
"Like what?" he groans.
"My mom has to take my grandma to the doctor today."
"That's not much of a date, Alex."
"I wasn't inviting you to a doctor's office." I laugh. "I was inviting you to do something fun here while they're gone."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Whatever you want."
He wraps his arms around me and places his hands on my butt as he kisses me.
Disgusting.
"Let's go inside." I tilt my head up and kiss him again.
He nods so I grab his hand and lead him up the sidewalk. We walk inside and kick our shoes off by the front door before making our way up the stairs.
"Hello, Johnny." Grandma smiles.
"Hey, Maureen," he says and I lead him over to the black couch in the living room.
"We're leaving," my mom says. "We should be back in about three hours."
"Okay." I nod.
"Hey, kid, make sure you wear a condom." Grandma points at Johnny. "I don't want to be a great grandma until I'm dead."
"Would you stop?" Mom laughs. "They aren't having sex."
"They better not be." Grandma shakes her head and starts walking down the stairs.
My mom waves at me to get my attention and mouths the words 'be safe' before following my grandma down the stairs and out the front door.
I wait for the door to close and let out the laugh I've been holding in for the entirety of that situation.
"You told your mom we've had sex?"
"No, my doctor did." I roll my eyes. "She called with the results of the STD tests and since I'm a minor they don't need my permission to share it with my parents."
"That's fucked."
"At least she's fine with it."
"She can't really give you shit for it when she was doing the same thing."
"She just wants me to have an easier life than she did and for my future kids to have a better life than I do."
"Still, she had you when she was fifteen. We're already doing better."
"But we didn't start dating until we were sixteen."
"We've had a whole year to fuck it up, she should trust us by now without having to remind us to use condoms."
"Okay but to be fair, we don't use condoms anymore."
"But she should trust that we at least know that we should."
I laugh at the fact that he thinks that's a valid point. "Do you want to argue over whether or not my mother is handling this piece of information correctly or do you want to watch a movie?"
"I'd rather have sex."
"Well, I'm not in the mood so that's not an option."
"You're never in the mood anymore." He rolls his eyes.
"Sorry that girls need the emotional side of things to be good in order for the physical side to happen."
"That's such bullshit."
"It's not. You treat me like dirt eighty percent of the time."
"Seventy." He argues.
"Are you trying to say you treat me like dirt the majority of the time but arguing about exactly how much?"
"You're fucking exhausting. You always exaggerate. Everything is an overreaction with you."
I let out a sigh. "I'm not arguing with you today. Either knock it off or go home."
"Hey, you're the one who fucked up here. I was all ready to take you on that stupid breakfast date this morning. I did my part."
I don't say anything because he's right.
"You're pathetic."
"I'm sorry," I say quietly.
"Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time."
"Johnny."
"You always put every ounce of blame on me for everything. I'm sick of it, Alex. Nothing is ever gonna be your fault. You didn't answer your phone all morning and you weren't even here when I showed up for our date but I'm somehow still the asshole."
I look down at my hands in my lap and start picking at my nails.
"You have nothing to say to me?" he asks.
"You didn't want an apology." I shrug. "What do you want me to say?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head. "We're done."
"Johnny."
He ignores me and gets up from the couch. I grab his arm to stop him from leaving as I start to cry.
"Let go," he says.
"No. Don't go."
"We're a mess, Alex."
"So let's fix it."
"How?"
"I don't know."
"Well that's helpful."
"Johnny, please."
He lets out a sigh.
"Don't go."
"Why?"
"I want to fix this."
"Great."
"Please stay."
He sighs again and sits back down on the couch.
"Wanna watch a movie?" I offer.
"I don't care."
I take that as a yes so I grab the remote and start scanning the movie channels. After seeing a couple children's movies and some ones I've never heard of, I come to Johnny's favorite movie: A Bronx Tale.
"I'm gonna go make popcorn," he says as he gets up and walks into the kitchen.
"Wanna watch A Bronx Tale?" I ask when I see that it's just starting.
"Sure."
I put it on and turn the volume up a bit before pausing it so Johnny doesn't miss anything.
About a minute and a half later, the microwave beeps.
"Where the fuck is the popcorn bowl?" Johnny yells.
So he's still mad.
"It's above the fridge now."
"Why?" he groans.
"I don't know. That's just where my mom moved it to."
A few seconds pass and I hear him slam the cabinet door, the noise making me flinch. I get up and grab napkins from the dining room and bring them to the living room. I set them on the coffee table as Johnny returns from the kitchen with the large white bowl full of popcorn. He sits down next to me and puts the bowl down between us. I hit play on the movie and grab a few pieces of popcorn.
"Do you have any soda?" Johnny asks.
"Maybe. I can go check."
"Grab me a Coke if you have one."
I get up and walk down the stairs and head into the garage. I pull the fridge door open and scan the shelves for soda. My eyes finally spot a case of Sprite and a few cans of Coke. I grab one of each and close the fridge before going back upstairs.
"Find any?" Johnny asks.
I nod and hand him his Coke. "Here."
"Thanks."
I reach for another handful of popcorn and Johnny rolls his eyes. I decide to just ignore him and focus on the movie.
About half an hour into the movie, our popcorn bowl is empty so I pick it up off the couch and set it on the coffee table.
"Come here." Johnny pulls me closer to him and rests my legs on top of his. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I ask.
How the hell can I make this less awkward?
I lay my head on his shoulder but it doesn't feel natural and instead makes this feel even more awkward.
"I'm sorry for being so quick to give up on us."
"I just don't get it. You cheated on me and wanted me to move past it immediately but then the smallest thing happens on my end and I'm suddenly not worth the trouble."
"You are worth it."
"Then what gives?"
"Life is stressful."
"We're seventeen." I roll my eyes. "If you can't be respectful and kind to your girlfriend just because you're stressed then what is this gonna be like when we're thirty? When we're working full time and there's kids involved?"
"I'll be better."
"How do you know that? How do you plan to be better?"
"I don't know. But I want to."
"Wanting to won't make this work. We both need to get our shit together."
"I know."
I let out a sigh.
"We're gonna fix this." He leans in and kisses me, giving my hand a tight squeeze as he does.
"I wish my mom could see this side of you," I say.
"What side?"
"Just the sweet side that cares about me and is considerate. All she really sees is the moody Johnny and the fighting Johnny and the angry texts from Johnny."
"Well, our relationship is between us. She doesn't have to see this side of me, you do."
"I guess." I shrug.
"She doesn't even need to see the bad stuff, but of course, you choose to tell her."
"I don't tell her." I defend. "She sees the texts on my phone and can tell when my mood changes and she can guess what caused it based on when you were over."
"Whatever."
We sit in silence and my mind wanders over to Bryce.
I wonder what he's doing right now. Is he still unpacking his stuff? Does he like it here? Is he thinking of me?
No.
I can't be thinking these thoughts.
I have a boyfriend and for all I know, Bryce could've just gotten out of a very serious relationship when he moved. He's probably not even looking for anything. His comment about me being cute was probably just him looking for a fling and I don't do flings. I do relationships. And I already have a relationship. It might be a work in progress, but it's still a relationship.
But Johnny's probably losing interest. He's been distant lately and we've been fighting more than ever. He's also really quick to put me down the second we aren't on good terms.
And the manipulation is nothing new, he tried to fake a suicide after he cheated on me. But if he's at the point of cheating again, we're doomed.
What if he is?
"Is there someone else?" I ask.
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Where is this coming from? I thought we moved past all this."
"We did, it's just..." I don't bother finishing my sentence. He'll just dodge questions and get mad at me anyway.
"What?"
"Nothing."
He lets out a sigh.
"Do you ever wish I wasn't your first time?" I ask.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you wish you slept with someone other than just me?"
"I never really thought about it."
"Well, think about it."
"Why?"
"I just want to know."
He lets out a sigh. "I mean, it might be kind of nice to know what it's like with someone else."
"Oh," I say.
"Why do you do this?"
"Do what?"
"Ask questions you don't want to know the answers to?"
"I was hoping you'd care enough to lie to me." I admit.
"Last time I lied to you, it didn't exactly work out too well."
"That was different."
"How?"
"You kissed another girl and tried to hide it."
"Because I knew we could move past it."
"Whatever." I roll my eyes.
"Alex, don't be like this."
"I'm not being like anything."
"That's bullshit."
"Johnny."
"What about you, huh? Do you ever wish you'd slept with other guys?"
"No, I don't actually."
"That's more bullshit."
"It's not bullshit."
"I'm done with this conversation." He nudges me off of him and gets up.
"Johnny, don't go."
"Stop."
"Johnny."
"You do this every time we're together and things are going good. I don't know if you want there to be problems between us or what but it's exhausting."
"I'm sorry."
"I really don't think you are, Alex."
"Johnny."
"I have to work today, I can't stay anyway."
"Can I call you later?"
"I guess."
I nod and watch him get up.
"You're not gonna walk me out?"
"Every time I do, you get mad," I say.
"Awesome." He turns and walks toward the stairs.
I listen to his footsteps stomp down the stairs before the front door slams behind him.
How do I always manage to mess things up?
His car starts and taunts me as it roars up the road.
Ten minutes ago we were cuddling on the couch with a movie on and now we aren't speaking.
I grab my phone and check the time and see that it's now four in the afternoon which means it's already been two hours since my mom and grandma left. Multiple notifications from Johnny cover my screen and even though they're from this morning, I get excited and start reading them. Every single one is a nasty text laced with curse words and there's what I'm willing to bet is an even nastier voicemail from this morning too.
Fucking answer me or we're done.
I'm not messing around. Answer my texts you fucking bitch.
Quit whoring around and text your fucking boyfriend back.
Fuck you, I'm done.
Typical Johnny.
Even though those messages are from this morning, they still sting like hell. He's probably feeling the same way towards me right now. I decide I should delete the voicemail without listening to it and a tear rolls down my cheek as I do.
I should've checked my phone before we made up and then fought again.
•I hope you love Chapter 2!!!! Let me know your thoughts in the comments!!
~SS💘