Later that night, I couldn't get settled into my room. My head spun from the lack of informational innuendos dropped at me before dinner, a glass of wine intended to soothe my nerves that now did me no favors, and painkillers Rose sent over from the infirmary after I shared with her that my back was sore.
All my mind wanted to do was slow down, go to sleep, and tackle whatever Elena, Torak, Luna Rashida, and Alpha Stephen's suggestions meant tomorrow. I relayed Alpha Stephen's confession via mindlink to Elena. She didn't look anywhere as surprised as I felt, just told me to keep the information to myself, play nice through dinner, and we'd discuss tonight.
Problem was, I couldn't reach her.
'Elena?' Reaching out to her with my mind until my forehead strained, I received no response. Lifting a hand to my forehead, I pressed hard into my skin to release the dizzy sensations.
'Cole, you there?' Again, silence.
I rubbed small circles at the headache throbbing my forehead. Rose's painkillers slowly kicked in. As tired as my mind felt, after I sat through a delicious but four-course, two-hour dinner, my legs twitched too much to let me sleep.
My eyes focusing on a suitcase in the corner by the closet, I walked over to inspect and smiled at Elena's kindness unpacking for me. Glancing over the clothes she chose for this part of our trip, my fingers perused through the options.
I grinned at the high-neck shirts and dresses hanging at the front of the closet and how Elena pushed the sexier options to the back. She respected my wish to cover my back scars but nothing looked fitted or low-cut in the front.
While he wasn't my mate, he wore a mysterious air about him I hadn't quite figured out.
His demeanor is very... alluring, to say the least.
Intensity aside, Torak was attractive. While I was attracted to Lucus, an undeniable pull drew me to Torak. Thankfully, our dinner conversation topics stayed neutral, but that pull lingered through dinner. His intense gaze from across the table prompted me to sip at the glass of wine. I didn't trust these reactions and was relieved when Lumi pulled me out of whatever snake charm hold he put me under.
After I shut the closet door, the gleam of a full-length mirror in the nearby bedroom corner caught my eyes. While I wasn't ready earlier, the wine and pain relievers now relaxed me enough where I was curious to see how my scars looked. My fingers trembling, I stripped off my pajama shirt, dropped it on the floor, and stepped in front of the mirror.
After almost eighteen years of daily reflection gazing, I felt indifferent. My eighteen-year-old frontal reflection paused both my thoughts and movements. My skin was smoother, less pale from more time outside, my blonde freckles vanished, and my muscles toned from Cole and Raina's workouts.
My clear-aquamarine eyes squinted as I scrutinized my altered appearance, which in addition to a few muscular indents in my abdomen, also looked more... feminine. Despite the faint purple and green bruises on my neck, my breasts were fuller and hips swayed out with a more pronounced curve.
How did that happen?
Apparently wolf heat does a female body good.
I shook my head, frowned at the cleavage puffing out the edges of my bra, and made a mental note to tell Elena I needed to go up a bra size. With all the training, I lived in the sweaty comfort of sports bras.
Remembering what I meant to look at in the mirror, I turned away from my reflection, twisted in my bra and pajama pants, and glimpsed at my scars. From what little I saw, one glimpse showed they would be with me the rest of my life. Faded to an almost skin tone, the edges of the lacerations looked like raised tributaries running diagonal from my shoulder to past the waistline of my pants.
They're so... ugly.
The shallow sagged my shoulders as my fingers touched the scar tissue that wrapped around my lower back. While River and Rose were miracle workers, the skin felt hard, tight, and leathery under the pads of my fingers.
Guess I'm now damaged goods.
"Like what you see?" A smooth male voice called out to me. "Because I sure do."
My eyes shot over my shoulder to my visitor's confident stance that filled the door frame. Heat burned my cheeks as I doubled over, grabbed my nearby shirt off the floor, and hugged the fabric to my chest. I wasn't quick enough before blush splotches raised on my neck and shoulders and I groaned seeing them in the mirror.
Thought I locked the door?
I couldn't remember if I had or not, but made a future mental note to lock the door, bolt it, and prop a chair under the door handle.
"T-torak," I stuttered and narrowed my eyes at his reflection.
Dressed in a gray T-shirt and flannel pajama pants, one of his bare feet crossed over the other ankle and his arms crossed over his chest. His shoulder leaned into my open door's frame.
And, of course, he was smirking at me.
Does his face get stuck like that in the winter?
My lips twitched at the thought. Wanting to slip my shirt on, I also didn't want to flash him my bra again. Turning him, I ignored him seeing the reflection of my back in the mirror. Fortunately, most of that was covered up by my long, straight hair.
Within a blink, he stood inches in front of me. One of his hands extended, took the shirt from my hands, and dropped it to the floor. His fingers skimmed over my shoulders, then his palms grounded warmth into my skin as he steered my body between him and the mirror. His eyes never left mine as one hand gathered my hair, twisting it slightly, then pulled it over one shoulder.
My eyes closed and chin dipped down at the exposure of my bare back and shoulders to him. It felt more raw and personal than if I flashed him.
"You shouldn't hide yourself, Zara." His intense eyes stared at mine, finding and holding my gaze.
A full smirk displayed on his lips as one of his hands reached behind me and unsnapped my bra with two fingers. I gasped when the fabric slacked and my hands hugged what was left to my chest.
When his fingers trailed one strap down my shoulder, I opened my mouth to squeak out a protest. He interrupted me with, "Relax, only looking back here."
I needed one raspy breath before I realized that he exposed my bare back for inspection. I watched out of the corner of my eye as his eyes followed his fingers moving the other strap down my shoulder.
My heart pounded in my chest and eyes watched his for every reaction. They stayed neutral until his gaze dragged downward. The lighter scars lacing my back reflected in his pupils before his gaze softened.
"That's better." He nodded over my shoulder.
I glanced over my shoulders and inspected the scars with a sigh. When I turned back to the mirror, his gaze now roamed over my front. My cheeks warmed as his smirk returned and his eyes gleamed.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I snapped my bra back closed and pulled the straps back up. As soon as I turned to face him and opened my mouth, he put one finger against my lips.
"You showed me yours... Here's mine."
With his elbows lifting first, he peeled off his shirt overhead and revealed massive scarring over his torso. Three large, deep scars ran from his shoulder down his breastbone, stopping at his dimpled oblique muscles.
For every large, masculine bulky muscle on Lucus, Torak's chest, shoulders, and abdomen were leaner and smoother. Lower than the subtle, defined ridges of his abdomen, his pants hung low on his hips. His sharp pelvic curve left little to my imagination.
His largest scar mesmerized me most. The ragged scar across his chest looked as if someone had attempted to claw his heart out.
"Oh my gosh." My fingers had a mind of their own as one hand extended and traced the central scar line. "I'm so sorry."
"You had nothing to do with it, Zara." He breathed my name, flinching under my touch.
With one step of his bare feet outside mine, my palm pressed flush against his chest. One of his hands lifted to my lower back and his fingers traced one of my scars. I didn't know if the warmth of his touch or sympathy in his eyes affected me more, but my heart pulsed in my neck.
Under that magnetic, unexplainable pull to him, my eyes fluttered until my lashes met my cheeks.
"I sure give River and Rose a lot of practice healing wounds." His hand enclosed over mine, pressing my palm into his warm, bare skin and shooting my eyes open. "But, I hope you saw my message that scars are proof that we can overcome any adversity."
His lips parted and pressure from his hand on my lower back pulled me closer. Dipping his head, he leaned closer and -
"Umm... Excuse me!?" A female voice screeched.
I was never so glad to see Elena, even her eyes round and jaw dropped. Her hand gripped the door handle with white knuckles.
"Zara!"
With how tight she scrunched her nose, I was surprised her glasses didn't slide off her face. Blinking away my brain's haziness, I took in what she saw. The first night in my room, I stood, with future Alpha Torak, both of us shirtless, his arm around me and my fingers trailed down his chest.
No, there's more.
I was in my bedroom, half-naked with future Alpha Torak, two hours after we met, with our hands on each other. The worst part was I had no idea how we got like this.
"Oh gosh." I retracted my fingers like his skin was on fire, then slipped my shirt overhead and stepped away. After I mouthed, 'Thank you,' Elena reminded me of the obvious choice.
'Why didn't you mindlink me!?' Her incredulous voice screamed in my internal ears.
'I did.' I shrugged my shoulders. 'I tried and got crickets.'
Her lips pulled to one side. 'You're still a bit out of it from the painkillers, Cole and I couldn't make out what you were trying to tell us... So, I came here.'
Her eyes glared at Torak, who chuckled as he slipped his shirt back over his head. His smirk returned as he caught my eyes following his shirt sliding down his torso.
"Relax." His casual tone hinted he was unaffected by Elena's hardening glare, which now shifted between me and him. "I came to ask Miss Zara if her wolf would like to run with mine around the lake. I figured it's been a few days and she might want to stretch her legs."
Elena grunted, rolling his eyes. It'll be a full moon in four days, so all the paths are well-lit if you're concerned about her safety."
Since Lumi's ears perked up at the word 'run,' I checked in with her.
'What do you think, Lumi?'
'Run...'
She agreed, until she added in a snarky tone.
'...Alone.'
I covered my smile with a hand while Elena shook her head.
"Let me go see if Raina will also come." Elena's tone was suggestive of... something. I couldn't place what though. The concern I heard in her voice definitely hinted that she didn't trust Torak, and after his slickness tonight, I was grateful that she felt that way.
"Unnecessary." Torak scoffed, matching her crossed arms with his. "Besides..."
He closed the gap in between us again, then leaned in and murmured in my ear, "If what I've heard about your white wolf's temper is true, then I'm the one who should bring extra security."
I felt every hair that bristled on Lumi's neck.
"Don't tempt her," I warned him. "Or me."
"I can dream, Miss Zara." His concentrated eye gaze, those yellow-hazel irises boring into me and smirk were on full display.
At the reminder of Lumi, I felt less hypnotized by his charms. "And my clothes?" I glanced down.
"Leave them here." Torak winked, earning him a grunt from Elena. "But you'll be fine. One wolf lap around the lake is all I want to show you."
He walked over to the window, unlocked the sash, and pointed outside. I took a few steps over and frowned at my window sitting at ground level.
Anyone could walk in and out.
"You have an answer for everything," I muttered under my breath, unsure if my room's easy outside access was to my benefit or detriment.
'I don't trust him, or his wolf Micco.' Elena frowned at me. 'And after what I saw, I don't know if I can trust you with him either.'
'Do you trust Lumi?' I linked her and she nodded.
"Fine." My hands flew up the window sash and I smiled at Torak. "Let's go."
My body spiked with excruciating pain as I shifted into Lumi's form. More painful than my first shift was when my back rounded and expanded spine tore through the scar tissue. Hot tears pricked my eyes, my breath stalled in my lungs, and my skin felt like the cuts had reopened. I felt every inch of all five scars screaming in hot, radiating pain down my back. I needed several gasping breaths to push through.
"Sorry, I forgot to tell you it hurts the first time," Torak mumbled, but stopped to stare at me.
His eyes widened up and I grinned, standing tall in Lumi's form. Leaning down, my eyes pierced into his for once.
A slow smile crept across his face as his eyes dragged over her snowy white fur. "Very impressive."
I couldn't read the gleam in his eyes, so I flattened my ears and released a low grumbled warning in my throat.
Your turn, Mister Smooth.
"Fair enough."
He turned and, to Elena's gasp, stripped off his clothes until naked. I averted my eyes, even in Lumi's form, and didn't look back until the cracking sounds of a shift were replaced with sharp, short breaths. I turned back to a large pair of yellow-hazel eyes staring down into mine.
His black nose was so close, the hairs on mine stood up.
So, this is Micco.
Torak's wolf, which he bragged about at dinner, was impressive. A whole head taller than Lumi, he shook out his pristine, fluffy, reddish-brown fur. His pheromone smell, musky like morning dew in a forest, hit me stronger than Lucus' for sure. His scent thickened the air between us, sending dizzy sensations into my brain.
A realization hit me harder than his stinky pheromones.
Micco's fur isn't black.
More specifically, his fur was a medium tone of reddish-brown, with a darker dorsal stripe. The only black hairs I saw were on the tips of his ears.
Interesting. Add another thing on the list of stuff to ask Elena about.
'Bite.'
Rearing my head, I blinked at Lumi speaking up.
What Lumi?
'One bite.'
Restlessly shifting around in my mind, she writhed to tear her jaws into his throat. I took a deep breath, decided that throat-ripping the pack's future Alpha wasn't the best first impression, and calmed her down.
Let's try something a little more subtle, okay?
Unconvinced, she snuffed.
Trust me?
'Fine. Run already.'
I pushed my nose through the open window and inhaled the crystal clear night air as soon as it passed over my face. With one push of my hind legs, I jumped cleanly through and felt soft, damp grass between the pads of my feet.
Not wanting to have Micco topple on to me, I crouched down, then bolted.
My large chest cavity expanded and contracted with each welcomed breath of the night air. The cool air fueled my heart with excitement, pumping blood, oxygen, and warmth into muscles that ached without use for days. Muscles that burned to be exercised lengthened and relaxed the more times Lumi's paws pounded the ground.
The almost full moon hung high in the night sky like a bright, white lantern. The moon cast elongated shadows that were so dark they hid Lumi's white fur. The calming night wind blew like a refreshing caress over her thick fur. Lowering her head, I lengthened the stride, pushing harder against the ground and magnifying the sensations.
Sparse woods surrounded the lake, more like a manicured park, called to me with the buzzing serenade of crickets. I wasn't entirely sure where I was headed, and caught a few surprised looks from some Eastern pack members as I ran past the other first-floor windows of the packhouse.
With rustling and pounding sounds from Micco's paws, Torak caught up to me. His strides were much longer but I heard and smelled him a few steps behind me.
By the time I reached the end of the packhouse and into the treeline, he ran shoulder-to-shoulder with me. His longer legs gave him a longer stride that he slowed to match mine.
Despite a height disadvantage, I pushed my legs harder and surged faster. Her leg muscles twitched and fired, demanding deeper breaths. My burst of speed caught Torak by surprise, but three strides later, he was back at my side.
We sprinted around the lake, at one point scattering a small family of ducks back into the water.
After we finished one lake lap, Torak slowed down to a padded jog. I followed after a few paces and glanced back. He let out a soft whine, came to a full stop, and pointed his nose at the lake. I stopped but maintained a few meters' distance away. He sat down on his hindlegs, then extended his upper body down and laid perpendicular to the lake.
Shining golden in the moonlight, his eyes blazed at mine. He let out another soft whine, an invitation. Lumi didn't appreciate it.
'Not mate.'
She didn't trust him but I caught sight of the soft ripples in the lake.
Trust me then, Lumi.
I closed the gap between us to a few inches and laid down next to him. His scent now overpowered my nose, as a mix of those musky pheromones and another source I couldn't place... a slight alcoholic smell.
Whiskey? Bourbon?
I couldn't tell because that scent was so faint compared to the pheromones that washed over me like the night breeze. It overpowered the chalky dirt under Lumi's belly.
I rested her head on her outstretched paws, gazing at the lake. Even with a manicured appearance instead of the natural woods Lumi preferred, the area was beautiful and peaceful.
After a few minutes of enjoyable silence, my attention was snapped when Torak leaned over. With one tongue swipe, he licked up the side of her forehead and in one ear. As he did, the flood of pheromones flooded over me and I reared Lumi's head back.
Gross, he's marking us with his scent.
I refrained from sharing her reaction, for the sake of censorship. But his slick move was the only invitation I needed.
'Elena please!' I mindlinked her. 'I need to meet you in my room in five minutes.'
'What happened?' she responded. 'Are you all right? Do I need to send Sable -'
'I'm fine,' I interrupted. 'Just trust me, please.'
If I could wear a wolfy grin, then I sure wore one right at this moment. If what I planned was going to work, then there was no way I could be in my bedroom alone again tonight. Once I informed her of my plan, Elena was in full agreement.
'Priceless. See you soon..'
I stood up from my lying down position, shook my fur, and heard the snap as my ears hit the sides of my head. Torak lifted his head, so I leaned in and pawed at his shoulder. His ears flattened but his eyes remained tracking mine.
'Zara...'
Lumi was not pleased with my playfulness.
'Not mate.'
Trust me, Lumi.
I swatted at him again, this time stroking the pad of my paw over the black hairs on one of his ears. He stood up and released a low growl.
Good.
I bore down in a pounce position, lowered and extended my front paws. Keeping my hind quarters lifted, I stuck up Lumi's tail erect, like a white flag of surrender. Releasing a challenging growl of my own, one tone louder than his, his eyes flashed bright yellow.
Good, Micco bought into this flirty charade.
My growl shifted into a sharp, jabbered bark. With silly movements, I shuffled my paws in the grass, and lowered my head in submission, keeping my eyes fixated on him. He took the bait, crouched down, then pounced on me. I lowered my left shoulder, absorbed the heavy weight of his wolf, and set my body limp. We rolled twice down the hill closer to the lake.
With all my strength and back pressed into the grass, I leveraged all four paws into his torso, and springboard pressed him off me. He sailed high up into the air, paws flailing, in the exact direction that I hoped for.
Rolling over, I grounded my paws and pushed up. Expanding my chest with a deep breath, I watched as Micco's body moved in slow motion.
The splash as his body hit the lake water was the most satisfying sound.
The second most satisfying sound was the angry howling that rang out from behind us. I released control to Lumi, to get us back to the packhouse as fast as her legs carried us.
Maybe next time you can trust me, Lumi.
'Not bad.'
The pleasure that flowed from her was closer to any form of happiness that I remembered feeling. And that felt really good.