TW: Brief talk of Abuse
I hated the feeling of a hot leather against my bare thighs. I began to shift in my seat attempting to alleviate some of the discomfort that it was causing. I was beginning to regret my choice in clothing, but I had nothing else to wear.
"Ms. Davis," A small mousey brunette spoke from behind a large oak desk. I instantly rolled my eyes feeling like my mother. "Dr. Reid is ready for you."
I peeled myself off of the couch and walked towards the small room located right behind her. I felt her walk behind me, a little too close for my liking. I could hear her little heels clacking behind me.
"Back up." I spoke harshly, I hated feeling like my personal space was being invaded.
"I'm sorry." She squeaked, following me inside of the monotone room. Most psychologists' office that I had been in were littered with self-help posters and other ridiculous things. This office was vastly different, it had different paintings that I had never seen before.
"He must've stepped out to take a phone call." She said nervously, looking towards a small door that was off to the side. I played with the hem of my leather skirt wanting this to be over quickly.
I hated the fact that she felt like she needed to wait with me, like I was some sort of incapable child. Before I could open my mouth to say something a figure stepped in from the door that was located slightly off to the side.
"I'm sorry about that, had to take that." A younger looking man said walking closer to me. His hand raised as if to shake my own.
"Whatever." I scoffed plopping down on a small rolling chair located in front of his desk.
Dr. Reid was very young looking, I wouldn't be surprised if he was my age. He had wavy brown hair that looked like he had styled it in a minute. His eyes were brown and had red rings under his eyes, probably from lack of sleep.
"I'm Spencer, Dr. Spencer Reid." He said clearing his throat to get my attention, my eyes snapped up to meet his. "And you?"
"You know who I am." I said rolling my eyes.
"I wanted to do this in a natural way." He said leaning against the dark wooden desk.
"Fine, I'm Bea Davis." I began to pick at my nails, I had done these shitty introductions one too many times.
"Bea?" He asked quizzically. "I have you down as Isabella."
I flinched at his words. "It's Bea."
He nodded and scribbled something down on a note pad next to him. "Noted."
"You don't have to say it, I watched you write it down." I said angrily. He smiled at me and nodded his head.
"Why don't you tell me why you're here." He said looking me up and down.
I hated to admit that he was quite attractive, he radiated inexperience and dorkiness.
"Cut the shit Doc, you know why I'm here." I said looking up at him. There was an arm's length distance between us.
"I want to hear it in your own words." He said slightly towering over me.
"My mother's lawyer insisted that I come see someone." I swallowed the small lump that had formed in my throat at the mention of her.
"I'm not asking who made you come, I'm asking why are you here?" A small strand of my blonde hair fell in front of my face as I stared up at the man towering over me.
"I'm here to finally change my life around." I said stifling a laugh. His brows furrowed, understanding that I was never going to take this seriously.
"Tell me about her." He finally said breaking the tension filled silence.
"Who?"
"Your mother."
"What is there to say? I'm sure you've read all about us in your little file." I said pointing at the large manila folder that housed all of my information from all the previous doctors that I had.
"I don't care too much about other people's interpretations of you. I want to hear it in your own words." My eyes instantly rolled back into my skull.
"You keep saying that, but I doubt you want to hear anything I have to say."
"That's why we're here isn't it? To hear what you have to say." His eyes searched mine. I flinched away from his glance and focused my eyes on his lips. They were half opened as if he was debating on saying something.
"She is a horrible person." Was all I could say, there was no simpler way to put it. She was an absolute dumpster fire of a human.
"Was she always this way?" He asked starting to walk behind to his desk.
"I guess not, no one is ever born a horrible person." I began. "They just become that way."
"What about your father." He asked taking a seat, the desk was the only thing separating the two of us.
"He is not my father." I spat. "A father doesn't do what he did to us."
"Do you have any siblings?" He asked wanting to steer the conversation somewhere completely different.
"Two, an older brother and a younger sister." I said feeling my heart beat still hammering in my chest.
"Tell me about them."
"Andrew left when I was two, he's twelve years older than me. I haven't heard from him since I was sixteen. I think he's gone and had his own family." A little part hated the fact that he left me when I needed him the most.
"Abby is the light of my life," I continued, a soft smile spread across my lips. "I'm ten years older and I've practically raised her."
"Where is she now?" He asked, my heart sank. I felt bile rise in my throat.
"Why do you feel the need to pry?" I spat. I hated letting people know more than they needed to know. I'd rather talk about anything else.
"I'm your doctor. These are the kinds of things that we ask."
"You don't hear me asking about your family." I continued. I was hoping this would deter him from prying even more.
"What do you want to know?" He asked, he leaned over slightly.
"What?" I asked taken aback by his words.
"You're right. It's not fair that I get to ask all the questions."
"I-uh." I stammered. "Your family."
"What about them?" He asked, continuing to analyze my face.
"Tell me about them." I said, in all honesty I didn't care about what he had to say. I was just happy that the focus had finally shifted away from me.
"Well, My mother and father have both divorced but maintain a healthy relationship." I scoffed.
"I'm an only child, sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. I guess that's why I was so focused in exceling in my studies."
"That must've been so hard." I said sarcastically, a small smile ghosted his lips.
"Quite the first world problem."
"I'm sure the kids had a field day with you." I could picture the way kids probably laughed at him.
"I was always in classes with older kids, significantly older ones. They knew better. The younger ones were ruthless though."
"How so?" I inquired.
"They would all gang up on me and just beat the shit out of me." He laughed. "I'm thankful for it, it's why I do this."
"What? Talk to people about their shitty lives?"
"If that's how you want to see it, I like to think of it as breaking the cycle. These kids were probably receiving the same treatments at home and that's why they were doing it to other kids."
"Not me, I got it at home and at school." I couldn't help the laugh that came out of me.
"That must've been hard to deal with." He said, "I do congratulate you for breaking that cycle."
"At what cost?" I said. "I didn't beat any kids up but what did I gain from it?"
"A sense of morality, I hope." His hands were entwined in front of him. Long finger locked with one another.
"Morality doesn't stop the beatings."
"Dr. Reid, we have an emergency." The girl from the front desk said breaking the tension that was in the air. I sighed and grabbed my things.
"Until next time doctor."