Frank and Leo fighting like siblings is my favourite thing rn and I dont know why.
°°°
Frank: I have no fears.
You: What if you woke up one day and Leo was taller than you?
Frank: I have one fear.
°°°
You: Don't you think that is crazy?
Annabeth: What?
You: My heart is beating so loudly right now.
Annabeth: *blushing* Oh why?
You: There's a spider by your feet.
Annabeth: *jumps in mid-air* OH MY GOD!
°°°
Percy: I eat one can of cold spaghetti-ohs in public and suddenly everyone is attacking me or trying to buy me a microwave.
You: What the hell man.
°°°
You: It was lit!
Hazel: The place was lit up?
Piper: No. It was LIT!
Hazel: There was a fire?
°°°
Annabeth: I'm the most responsible person in this friend group.
Percy: Didn't you set the bathroom on fire yesterday?
Annabeth: There was a spider!
°°°
You: Annabeth and I have to leave right now. Can you keep an eye on Leo, Piper and Percy?
Frank: Sorry... Magic 8 Ball says 'Outlook not so good'.
Annabeth: Frank, please. We have to leave.
Frank: *shakes 8 Ball* The ball says 'Don't count on it'.
You: But-
Frank: Frank Zhang says 'no'
°°°
Annabeth: So you guys can't speak Greek?
You: Nope!
Piper: Wait, let me try.
Piper: Hola, soy Piper.
You: Silly, that's French.
Annabeth:
°°°
Hazel: If I was a drink, I'd be chamomile tea! What would you be?
Annabeth: I'd be earl grey-
Percy: bleach
Leo: motor oil
You: vinegar
Piper: batteries
Frank: That's not a drink-
Jason: THATS WHAT YOURE WORRIED ABOUT?!?
°°°
Jason: So we're going to die.
Leo:
Jason: There's a whole apocalypse happening.
Piper:
Jason: How are you not panicking?
You: b a n a n a
°°°
You: I panic when people compliment me.
You: Like, what am I supposed to say?
(Later that day)
Hazel: Good job in training today!
You: *panicking* MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
°°°
Luke: I've invited you here to play the deadliest game.
You: *nodding* Knife monopoly.
Luke: I was actually going to hunt you for sport, but now I'm interested in what knife monopoly is.
°°°
Annabeth: Did you have to stab Leo?
You: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to Frank.
Annabeth: What did he say?
Frank: 'What are you gonna do, stab me?'
Annabeth: Okay, that's fair.
°°°
You: I'm a wanted person.
Nico: That's not possible, you weren't even a wanted child!
°°°
Frank: What are you guys doing?
Piper: Stargazing.
Frank: You're staring at pictures of Y/n taped to the ceiling, though.
Leo: The stars are beautiful tonight.
°°°
Percy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Annabeth: Weren't you with Y/n?
You: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
°°°
Leo: Getting a brain scan today, my dudes.
Frank: To check if you have one?
Leo: Thank you for your concern and support, my friend.
°°°
Jason: Guys, look how big my new shoes are!
You: Well you know what they say about Bigfoot.
Jason: You mean big feet-
You: They try to tell you that he's not real- but I know he is.
°°°
Annabeth: Percy and I are dating.
You/Leo/Percy: *gasps*
Annabeth: ... Percy come on.
Percy: Sorry, I'm still surprised.
°°°
Piper: You drinking vodka at training?
You: ... Yes.
Piper: Straight?
You: No, I'm gay.
Piper: No I mean do you drink straight vodka?
You: Oh, yes.
°°°
Frank: You piss me off so much.
Leo: I literally just said "hello".
Frank: Yet here I am, boiling with rage.
°°°
Annabeth: It has come to my attention that some people are labouring under the delusion that I have a "favourite person" in the group.
Annabeth: Allow me to clear this disgusting and absolutely baseless rumour.
Annabeth: I love Y/n and all not-Y/ns equally.
°°°
You: I can't be a demigod. I already have a new hobby.
Hazel: Being sad isn't a hobby.
°°°
Percy: *stares out the window thoughtfully*
You: He's so handsome, so thoughtful. I wonder what he's thinking.
Percy: *internally* Wed-nes-day... whensday? Wendesday?
°°°
Leo: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
You: Yeah, but what are you gonna do?
°°°
Hazel: Annabeth, where are you going?
Annabeth: To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense.
Percy: And who's that?
Annabeth: Myself!
You:
Annabeth: Y/n you can come with me.
°°°
(Over the phone)
Hazel: I put a little note in you bag to tell you I love you.
You: *opens your bag* This is a 10 page letter.
°°°
Nico: *inhales*
You: If you're about to say you hate Will, you should know that I saw you guys carve your initials in a tree last week.
°°°
Jason: Look, I'm going to be frank.
Leo: Okay, but can I still be Leo?
Jason:
°°°
Percy: 4 out of 3 people struggle with math.
Leo: Gee, I wonder which one of us that is.
Percy: Well since it's 4 out of 3, it should be-
°°°
You: So what time does the judgemental express arrive?
Percy: Annabeth gets here at noon.
°°°
You: When's your birthday?
Annabeth: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?
You:
You: ⁱ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ⁱᶠ ᵒᵘʳ ˢᵗᵃʳ ˢⁱᵍⁿˢ ʷᵉʳᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵃᵗⁱᵇˡᵉ
°°°
Annabeth: I sleep with a dagger under my pillow.
Piper: Weak, I sleep with a gun.
You: You're both pathetic
Piper: Oh? What do you sleep with?
You: Reyna.
°°°
You: I tried to make a reservation
Hazel: You don't need to make a reservation for the library.
You: Anyways, it was fully booked.
°°°
You: aNnAbetH!? I miXeD REdBuLl wiTh CoFFeE aNd NOw I cAN SeE thE SOUnDs, SHOuLd I wOoRrY?
Annabeth: Y/n, I swear to Athena.
°°°
Jason: *finds Nico face down in the dirt* You okay?
Nico: I'm depressed.
Jason: lol me too.
Jason: No wait- hi depressed, I'm dad.
Jason: No wait- what's wrong?
°°°
You: *watching the news* Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the wet market today.
Percy: *covered in ink* Maybe the squid was being a dick.
°°°
You: Goodnight.
Piper: Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.
Leo: Tonight. Imma fight. 'Till we see the sunlight.
Percy: Tick tock. On the clock. But the party wont stop-
You: Shut the hel up.
°°°
Piper: I don't deserve you, you should be with a real girl.
You: ᗯᕼO ᗩᖇᗴ YOᑌ, I ᗩᗰ ᖴᖇOᗰ ᗩᑎᑕIᗴᑎT ᘜᖇᗴᗴᑕᗴ
°°°
You: Imagine how much shorter Naruto would be if everyone had guns.
Piper: Why would having guns affect his height??
°°°
Annabeth: Why are you guys here?
You: I'm here to help!
Percy: I'm here to make things worse.
°°°
Leo: Okay, I know I acted a little impulsively.
Frank: A little impulsively? That's like saying Y/n is a little bit confused.
You: What? Wait, what did I miss? I'm confused.
°°°
Hazel: What's your favourite soup?
You: Chicken noodle, why?
Hazel: You can tell a lot about a person by their favourite soup.
You: What can you tell about me?
Hazel: That you like chicken noodle soup.
°°°
Percy: This is tomorrow's school newspaper. Oh my Poseidon, on the front page there's a picture of me kissing Jason by the lake!
You: Why were you kissing Jason by the lake?
Percy: I caught a fish, I was excited. I kissed the fish too, but of course they don't show you that.
°°°
You: And once again, Annabeth and Y/n save the day!
Chiron: You didn't do anything. It was all Annabeth.
You: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.
°°°
Frank: So, how is the most beautiful person in the world doing today?
Hazel: I don't know. How are yo-
Piper: *from the other side of the room* Y/n is doin' great!
°°°
Clarisse: *leaving the room* You are all so ANNOYING!
Clarisse: *a bit less angry, seconds later, peeking back into the room* Not you Y/n, you are okay.
°°°
(During a couple's race)
Frank: *Carrying Hazel bridal-style, jogging a little and talking calmly with her*
Clarisse: *Hurls past carrying Y/n over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes; they're both screaming*
°°°
Leo: What do you call a fish with no eye?
Annabeth: Myxine circifrons.
You: fsh.
°°°
You: Bro-
Reyna: I had your tongue in my mouth five minutes ago, don't you dare call me 'bro'!
°°°
You: So... I saw you spending a lot of time with Annabeth lately.
Percy: No Y/n, it's not what it looks like! I swear!
You: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Percy: No Y/n, you're the only one for me!
You: Is that so?
Percy: I swear to Poseidon! Annabeth and I are just dating, ok? She's my girlfriend!
You: So there are no best-friend feelings involved?
Percy: You are still my one and only best friend! She's just the love of my life, nothing more!
You: But I'm still the platonic love of your life right?
Percy: Of course bro!
You: Bro!
Annabeth: What the-
°°°
(In the group chat)
Leo: lol I'm dying help
Jason: oof same
Percy: me af
You: rip, what's up man?
Frank: Good.
Piper: no he's legit dying
Piper: some guy stabbed him in the McDonald's parking lot
Leo: *sends a blurry picture of him dabbing in the ambulance*
6 people are typing
°°°
Chiron: *picks up the phone* Hello?
You: *in the background screaming insults and coming for everyone's lives and mothers*
Luke: *close to tears* Can you please take them back?
°°°
Piper: oh worm?
Percy: wig
You: crops? watered
Leo: We stan!
Hazel: *crying* What are you guys saying?
°°°
You: There is no I in team, but there is one in pizza!
Percy: So you're not gonna share?
You: *shoving three slices pizzas into your mouth* No, I'm not gonna share.
°°°
You: Well well well, we yeet again my dudes.
Random monster: *crying* Please just kill me already!
°°°
Nico: I know you think my judgment is clouded because I like Will a little bit.
You: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Nico: That's our joint tombstone.
You: My mistake.
°°°
Leo: Do you care if I take the skin off of the furby? I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us. Also I want to soft hack his circuits.
You: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
°°°
Annabeth: My significant other must be heroic, selfless, powerful, responsible-
You: *screams and chucks a backpack at a monster*
Annabeth: That one. I want that one.
°°°
You: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, but they're wrong. Obviously they've never been in Clarisse's arms!
Percy: Of course we haven't been in Clarisse's arms, she's terrifying.
Annabeth: One time I accidentally bumped into her on the pathway, and she pulled out a switchblade.
°°°
You: When you become famous, you get called a legend because your leg ends.
Frank: ...what?
You: your leg. It ends.
Frank: I'm not a linguist but I think that's wrong.
You: Are you saying your leg doesn't end?
Frank: I mean, at some point it does.
You: Then what's the problem?
°°°
You: Allow me. Locks are my specialty.
You: *throws brick at the window*
°°°
Piper: Is four a lot?
Annabeth: Depends on the context.
Hazel: Dollars? No.
You: Murders? Yes.
°°°
Piper: Alright Y/n, truth or dare?
You: Truth.
Piper: I dare you to kiss me.
You: *launches yourself towards Piper*
Jason: They didn't even pick dare.
°°°
Frank: I have horse-like reflexes!
Leo: Don't you mean "cat-like"?
Frank: *kicks Leo in the jaw*
°°°
Nico: I only feel one emotion and it is anger.
You: Last night you drunk texted everyone a thousand heart emojis.
Nico: Out of anger.
°°°
Percy: If you had to go on a date with any of us, who'd you choose?
Frank: No way.
Hazel: I'm not answering that.
You: Leo.
Everyone: ...
You: No way, I'm not answering that!
°°°
Nico: I want to be a caterpillar.
You: Explain?
Nico: Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
You: You do know that they have a lifespan of about a week, right?
Nico: That's another highlight.
°°°
Ethan: What do you call it when you kill your friend?
You: Homiecide
Luke: Murder
You: Homiecide
°°°
Percy: What y'all mad about today?
Reyna: Absolutely everything.
You: Annabeth said that when you suck on a lollipop, you're just drinking your own spit.
Reyna: Shut up.
°°°
Will: When you're gay in your house with nobody else, you're homolone!
You: When you're bi and no one is around, you're biyourself!
Nico: When two idiots won't be quiet, you're committing murder!
°°°
You: I just calculated, if I was 100 kilos and I ate 800 grams of applesauce, I'd be 0.8% apple!
Annabeth: It's 3 am and we have a counselors meeting tomorrow.
°°°
Chiron: And Y/n dragged you two into this nonsense?
Jason: Literally.
Leo: I volunteered.
°°°
Reyna: I'm not here to make friends.
You: *making a friendship bracelet* So you say...
°°°
(Playing Twister)
Piper: Thalia, right hand red.
Thalia: *ends up on top of you*
You: Okay, you're doing this one purpose, aren't you?
Piper: I stopped spinning like 15 turns ago, honestly I'm surprised you didnt notice earlier.
°°°
You: It's just a moo point.
Hazel: Moo point?
You: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion; it doesn't matter. It's moo.
Annabeth:
Jason:
Frank: Have we been stuck with them too long, or did that just make sense?
°°°
Nico: I'm just so full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living. I strike fear into-
You: You sleep with a sunshine child
Nico: HE IS MY SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS
°°°
You: Will, why have I been getting texts from your dad saying that he is going to yeet me out of the solar system?
Will: I told him that I love you more than him.
°°°
You: You better stop raising your voice at me RIGHT now!
Luke: Or what?
You: I'll... I'll cry and I really don't want to be embarrassed right now.
°°°
Leo: Nice, dude! Give me five!
You: *high fives him*
Leo: *entwines their fingers*
You: Wh-
Leo: I'm in love with you, Y/n.
°°°
Luke: Y/n, you have been observing Percy for 48 hours now. What have you discovered?
You: People fall in love with him very easily.
Luke: ...an example?
You: *holding back tears* Me.
°°°
{Date Published: 7/2/20}