Nothing was same like before .... A year and a half passed by ... He started to drift away from me slowly ... Starting from unanswered phone calls to unseen texts .... Everything started to change..
It's been almost a year I have seen him he never visits home ....
And after that big day I attended an interview for a job and I finally found a job in Louis school of excellence as a psychological consultant for children..but I was not even able to share all those happy things with him ... Because he never comes home ... starting when he came the CEO he had late night works ... I understand then calls messages from all over the world then overseas trips and everything
As days passed by he began to stay in the office guest house with jimin hyung and never comes home ...
Every time I call him nor text him it will his PA who picks up the call ...
At first it hurted so much but as days passed by i got used to it and I understood he was busy .... But eventhough he is busy ... I wish he could have spend some spare time with me ... His mom and dad left Seoul and went to settle up in New Zealand and Nano is the only person who hears my sobbs and worries everyday ...
And for the past few months he began to act cold too... The person who never forgets our anniversary even if I do forgot it ... When I planned a surprise for him for our 5th anniversary he never showed up ... He told he will come and I waited and waited but he never showed up and finally he called me to say that he was sorry that he couldn't come because he had a meeting ...
I asked him why ? And he began to shout and that was the first time ever he raised his voice against me .. his eyes were in anger ... The doll eyes which sees me inlove was seeing me in full anger ... I began to cry .. but he never consoled me ....
It began to hurt .. more than hurt i was missing him ... Each time we fight everytime I send text nor call him to solve it ... When I go to his office to see him everytime I hear the word is that Boss is busy mam ... I got fed up of hearing it again and again ... And I stopped going to his office too first I was asking jimin hyung about him and I stopped asking him too ...
I am missing his huge smile ...
His warm hugs ...
His gentle kisses...
Our night cuddles ...
His warm touch ....
Our time while cooking ...
Our time together for each other..
His playfulness...
He making cute faces everytime to solve a fight between us ...
His goffiness around jimin hyung..
Our late night outings ...
Everything about him is moving far away from me ... It like he is drifting away from me infront of my eyes and i standing helpless and i couldn't do anything... I feel like I lost him ..
And here again I am waiting for his messages and calls ... Crying and crying ... The house filled with loneliness and his laughs ... Pictures of us hanging all over the house and I began to live with those .... I am falling it's hurting ... I want to run into his arms ... I never saw him for months ...
It sometimes feels that he doesn't like me anymore ... Nor love me anymore but the words he said the promises he made makes me stop to think like that hoping that he will come back to me soon as my tae .... And if that is ever gonna happen I am not letting him go anywhere .... With that of his I took my bag and went out and today I am gonna meet nano ....
Magical time skipped...
I was waiting in the park nano asked me to come .... Lost in my own thoughts looking at my phone thinking about him whether he ate or not whether he slept or not ... My thoughts were disturbed by a touch on my shoulders with alot of hope ... I called his name but to my thing it was nano who tapped my shoulders ...
Nano : hey .... Y/n what happened ? Did you expect someone ?
No..no not like that .. come sit
Nano : what happened ? Why you look so pale ? Are you eating or not ?
Leave all those ... I am fine did jimin call you ? Did he talk anything about tae ?
Nano : no .. jimin went for some business trip to switzerland with tae .. didn't tae say to you ?
I was so broke .... He is not even here in seoul and he never told me also ... My eyes teared up ...
Nano : hey ... What happened y/n ? Why are you crying ?
Nothing ... Nano I am fine
With that she hugged me and I broke out in tears as always ...
I started to tell each and everything to her ...
Nano : what !? This much is happening and you never made even a call to me .... Y/n ??
I don't want to disturb you ... Already I am a huge load for everyone .. not enough for everyone ... I am just useless .. I wish I could disappear whenever I want .. i can't take this nano ... I am missing him as hell .. each and everytime he asks me to meet him ... I go happily wait all day and he never shows up .... It's okay ... But I want him in my arms ... He is behaving cold .. i am missing my tae ...nano ...*crying hard*
Nano : don't worry everything will be alright soon and he will be back to you and I will talk to jimin regarding it .. now let's go home ... I will drop you ...
No ..no .. i have to go somewhere thankyou nano .. for being there I am leaving now ...
Nano : but ...?? Y/n ..
With that I left ... I told her lie .. because I want to be alone everything was a mess including me ... He is my whole world and still he is ... I saw a couple having a holding hand and walking down the streets ... It reminded of him and our past days ... I don't know but I am shattered I can understand he is busy he has so much responsibilities but if he really cares for me he must spend some time na ... Alot of questions inside my head ... I can't help out but cry and cry ... I think the fear of losing him started from that big day of he taking up his dad's company ..... I was walking like a dead human so Lifeless .... Drenched in pain and sorrow ...
With that I drifted off too sleep hugging the same teddy bear and reading my old diary filled with only happy memories of his .... And I never touched my diary for past one and half years ... And I began to read smiling and thinking about our past memories .... And reading the short poems he wrote for me ...
" It's only you because no one else make sense "
"Always remember my heart holds you when my arms cannot"
"You kisses were miracles to me because they were medicine to my vein"
" You eyes carried stars even the universe would envy for it "
"You touch me in a way no else could ever can "
"My heart races in a speed each time I feel your touch .. and I want me to be the only person you touch"
"Angels would feel jealous looking at your beauty "
" I am sacred of losing you ... So I want to make you mine soon "
" I want to be the only person who puts ring on your fourth finger "
With that I began to write some short poems of how i miss him every single day ...
"If tomorrow ever brings new hope I hope it brings you "
"I want peace i want you"
"When I wake up beside you it's a new whole world just us in it and I want to feel it once more"
"Come on take me and drown me inside you and never let me out ..my soul is longing for you only you "
"It has been you only you and I don't need anyone else "
" Just stay by my side and watch me love you more as one soul "
" I love you ... It's okay even it is not love you too back .. this heart choose you and it will keep choosing only you "
With that i closed my book and slept like that ....
Months passed by no calls nor texts no meetings nothing no visits everyday went like me walking in hell missing him more blaming myself .. yes .. i think i am not enough for him so which he is moving away far away from me that I could not reach him at all ... All the things my brain accepts are not accepted by my heart how much I try to get used nor be happy his single thing is enough for me to drown in his thoughts .....
My heart keeps longing for him ..... My body wants to feel his warm touch ... My eyes is searching for his doll eyes ... My hands are longing for his warm touch .. all I want is him only him ... With that I went to school as usually ....
Sitting in my cabin and looking at the blank sky .. i am paid well I have everything except happiness because he is my happiness my only happiness ... Without my knowledge I was appointed in one the school's Mr. Joe is running and somehow the information of me working here reached his ears ... And he keeps on speaking to me and i sometimes feel bad for him because I react cold always towards him .. because tae doesn't like him that much ....
As usually I was in work where a student from the high school came to meet me ...
Student : *crying*
Why ? Are you crying please don't cry i will help you with anything
Student : *still crying* mam.... One... person......is .. trying.. to...
As she was speaking the door revealed open showing Mr. Joe the principal of this school ... Ya ...as he heard that i am working in this shool he came here as a principal ... He looked so shocked .. as if someone is trying to kill him ... The minute the girl saw the principal her hands started to shiver she was in shock... She was sacred and i was noticing her .... My thoughts were disturbed by the principal talk
Joe : actually .. ms y/n this girls parents have come to pick up her as they are leaving out of some emergency ...
But ... Sir i want to talk to her and then I will leave. Her .. because it's something important sir .....
Joe : no ..no you can talk other things afterwards .... Now please let her go
He was in total hurry he never left me to speak there was no other choice but to let that girl go ..
She was in trembling fear .. as I was about to stop him .. I was distracted by my phone's notification ... And when I saw it .. it was the person I was longing for the call was from tae ..
So quickly I called him back ...
(On the call .. )
Hello .. tae ..
Hmmm... Yes y/n we
Will meet up tonight
Near my office .. you know
That park right there ?
Ya .. okay .. at what
Time tae ?
At midnight 1.00 am
Okay .. because I am free
Ya .. okay tae i
Will..
With that he hunged up the call without any word .. my heart was not at ease it was trembling in fear and I don't know why .... when I turned to see the girl ... She was gone ...
With that I called Nano and told everything ... She told me to go safe and return home and text her ... Ya she is my caring sweet lovely friend .. I was looking at the clock waiting to meet him at night ... I was wondering when only the Time will pass ...
And after done with all my work I left home soon itself ...
Magical time skipped to night ..
OMG .. I have to go before he comes with that I took my bag and a gift that I bought for him long back .. that is I bought him a white shirt and I did his name stiched in my own hands itself .. I hope he will like it ... With that I left to the park where he told me to come ...
It was super cold and super lonely ..as it was night ....
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(✿^‿^)
Thankyou for taking your time and reading my story it means so much for me ... I am sorry if it is not up to your expectations ... I will work hard .. here is the quote for today ...
You did a great job today too as always... Fighting 💜
Stay tuned to know what is gonna happen next whether the love story will continue or they will bid goodbye to each other...
To be continued....