✨Your greatest responsibility is loving yourself and to know you are enough✨
2013
12th May
Okay, I don't look... no, I look bad.
I looked at myself in the mirror as I wore this fitted red dress. Today was graduation day and I couldn't be more excited to close this chapter of my life.
Goodbye, high school. You haven't been anything but great pain in the ass.
"Chubby, you know you shouldn't wear that, right? I can see all that." She gestures to my whole appearance "Do you want people staring at you?" That's my god-awful sister, Beatrice. The eldest of us five siblings. I hated that she called me Chubby. Everyone did.
Yes, I'm... I like to use the word curvy but my family does not agree with that.
She came home just for my graduation as did my other sister, Olivia. Beatrice said "You have less than an hour to get ready before we go, chubby. Hurry up." Olivia peeked her head in with a cup of tea in her hand, brewing her tea with the teabag. She snorted "Yeah, even the graduation gown won't hide all that, chubby." Beatrice said the last time "Hurry the fuck up." And both of them walked away, closing the door behind.
I bought this red dress not even four days ago. I sighed, pushing back a strand of my brown hair behind my ear, fixing the curl that I worked an hour on. I mumbled to myself "Well, jeans are always the safest option." But I didn't want to wear jeans. I wanted to wear this dress that I so excitedly bought for myself. Taking the dress off, I looked myself in the mirror in granny underwear and a cup-bra. I wished that I wasn't like this- I wasn't chubby. I wished I had a flat stomach, boobs that were not equivalent to a fourteen-year-old, a cute belly button instead of a frown that just stares back at me all day. I don't remember a day when I didn't wish that I wasn't stuck in this body. I've been wishing that since the day I started making memories.
My train of thoughts was cut off when my phone rang. I picked it up and I heard her shouting at me "Bitch! I'm coming to your place in two. Gonna pick you up." I smiled at my best friend Jade and said "Bitch! I'm coming with my sisters."
"Oh hell no! I woke up early to get dressed so I could come to get your ass myself. I don't care what happens. I'm picking you up."
I smiled at her frustration and then kept my phone back on the charger.
My best friend Jade isn't your average best friend. She's loud, she's annoying, she's a Latino monster in a female body. And when she gets angry, she will attack you and curse you in Spanish nonstop. With a smile on my face, I walked to the closet to get myself a pair of black jeans and a black blouse.
Black is my happy color and the safest one too. Lazy? Wear black. Happy? Wear black. Funeral? Wear black.
X
As I button up my jeans, she busted through the door in a gorgeous body-hugging silk violet dress and black heels. Her arms raised with an evil smile on her face. But as she saw me up and down, her arms fell to her sides as well as her smile "What? I thought you were wearing a dress." She pointed to herself "Therefore, I wore a dress." Then she pointed to her feet "and heels! I dumped my Jordans for these uncomfortable heels." And here comes the Spanish monster "me engañaste, perra! Sabes lo incómodo que estoy?! (You tricked me, bitch! Do you know how uncomfortable I am?!)" I huffed "I know- I know you're annoyed but I couldn't wear the dress."
"Por qué? (Why?)"
"I looked too... chubby. And it showed off my body too much."
She rolled her eyes "I went to the mall with you, Lana! You put that dress on in front of me and I told you a million times that you looked fucking hot! What changed?" I bit my bottom lip without making eye contact with her and she knew, she knew all too well "Your sisters, right?" Did I mention that sometimes it's scary that she knows me too well? She shook her head "I swear to god, one day I will drag their asses on the streets." I chuckle at her frustration and eyed her well. She looked gorgeous. The silk, body-hugging, violet dress that reached to her knee complimented her tan skin. Her black hair wrapped neatly in a low bun with a middle part in the front. Her nails were done in black as she stood in her glory with black heels. I sighed "You look beautiful." She pouted at me with furrowed brows because she hated compliments. Hated them to the point she will get angry at you but she never said anything whenever I complimented her, I'd always get a pout and knitted brows in return. She was the exact opposite of me. Tall, tan, and skinny. While I was short, pale, and chubby... fat as some people would say.
She tilted her head with a smile "Well, those jeans do make your booty look cute though." I put a hand on my mouth, hiding my smile as she loops her arm around my neck and says "Happy graduation, bestie."
X
We made our way down the stairs. My blue graduation gown draped over my arm while she kept hers in her car. My family was waiting downstairs for me. It was always the seven of us- eight if you count my brothers' girlfriend that lived with us. Iris, my third sister said "Chubby, I've seen you wear that top at least twenty times. Wear something else." I shook my head "I don't have the time to change. We're gonna be late." Mom held up her phone and smiled "Say cheese, girls." Jade and I posed with a smile as she clicked a picture of us on her camera. Dad was smiling at us as he stood behind mom. It was more of a proud smile. My brother, Finn, stood there with his arm looped around his girlfriend's neck with a smile on his face too. And it wasn't a smile of proudness, oh no. It was a smile because after I'm gone to college, he will be getting my room with his girlfriend, Alex.
X
After the ceremony and all, Jade and I were the only people who didn't cry about leaving high school. We were more than glad that this was over.
After the dinner we had with my parents, she drove me to her house. Well... more of her mansion. Her parents were loaded. Dad was a judge and her mom owned her own cosmetic business. And no, she didn't drove me, her driver drove us.
Jade and I, met in fifth grade and we've been inseparable since then. And since then she's been picking me up for school and dropping me off too. We do everything together. Study, shop- I sleep at her house more than I do in my room and Jade has been fine with it ever since. Her parents aren't home most of the time, so it's her and I in this big mansion.
The popcorn popped in the machine as we sat in the cinema room, in pajamas, binge-watching our favorite shows on Netflix and eating the cheese pizza she ordered. She asked, "So where are you going to college?" I swallowed and said, "I got a full ride to Berkeley after summer." I paused the show "Why you ask?" She smiled "Because I made my parents pay for full tuition in Berkeley."
"You didn't get in?"
"No, not the scholarship but I did get in through my dad and his wallet. The dean was very happy the contribution dad made for the college which earned me admission without being wait-listed and with open arms."
"What about the dorms?"
She snorted "You think I will stay in a dorm room with a stranger that I barely know? Lana, you're adorable sometimes. Your ass is moving in with me to an apartment near our college." I raised my brow in shock "An apartment? And who's paying?"
"My dad... obviously"
I sighed "I can't accept this, Jade. I'm happy that we're going to the same college but I can't live in an apartment with you for free." I loved Jade to my core but I hated when she was dependent on her parents money too much because she was the only child or when she makes her parents throw their money at me too. She sat on her knees and said "Why? I need you more than you need me, Lana. You're moving in with me. I have Dad's permission to find an apartment for myself and you after summer. I'm not going to college alone nor I'm gonna survive it alone. I need you to tutor me too."
"You do know that you're financially capable of hiring a tutor, right?"
"I know, but they're not as soft as you. I mean, you're the one who taught me that hand-counting thing in seventh grade. That has been stuck with me to this day! Remember Ms. Gomez? Dad hired her to teach me Spanish and she couldn't do that even though I am Latino!"
I chuckled at that because she made me get lessons from Ms. Gomez too. And the only sole purpose of those lessons was that I learn Spanish for her so I'd know what she says when she's angry. Ms. Gomez was fed up with her and then I was the one who'd end up tutoring her when she all but wanted to bash the tutor's head on the Pegasus statue outside the house. The tutor was also funded by her parents for me.
I shook my head and she held her hands together in a plea "Please, please move in with me. Please. I swear I'll cook- I'll cook for you every day." I sighed "You'll cook me anything?"
"Anything! I'll even learn how to make Mac & Cheese from scratch, I swear!"
"I'll get the groceries from my money. I don't wanna live with you for free."
"Deal!"
She got up with a squeal to get us popcorn from the popcorn machine. As she scooped up the popcorn into the giant bowl, she asked "Butter?" I smiled "Yes, please." Walking to the small table with the bottle squeezer that had melted butter, she mumbled something. My brows furrowed "What?" Jade cleared her throat and walked over to me with a smile. Passing me the popcorn that made my mouth water with the scent of melted butter and all. She batted her lashes at me "Lana, you know I love you right?" I huffed "What did you do?" She smiled nervously "I might have booked us a vacation to Corsica." I facepalmed myself, and hard to the point I regretted because of the pain I felt. Removing my hand, she chuckled and rubbed her fingers over the area that I knew was turning red.
She tried to explain "I thought we could have a vacation, you know? Just for two weeks. Fourteen days."
"Jade, I don't have the money for a vacation and my parents will never let me go."
She shrugged "The vacation is already paid for, including the hotel and extra money for food. You just need to buy yourself bikinis and get your ass on a plane with me. I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind when they're not paying." She was right. My family didn't mind whenever Jade paid stuff for me. They were more than happy with it.
One time, I was in love with this dress from prom that was too expensive to get and my sisters were mean about how my body would look in it. But I was determined to buy it to the point, I got myself a job in the mall frozen yogurt shop. And right on the first day, Jade appeared with a smile and the same dress in her hand, telling me to quit my job right then and there and took me home. The same goes for makeup and hairstylists.
I said, "I'll talk to them." She squealed, grabbing my face and kissing my forehead harshly "Te Amo! (I love you!)"
This won't end well. I can feel it.
•••••
Hi! I'm so excited for this story!!
This one is so close to my heart that I hope you will enjoy this as much as I do writing it.
Here are the aesthetic I made for the story♥️
Anyway, swipe for the next chapter.
Love, Hope
♥️♥️