Tia threw dress number seventeen out of my closet claiming it wasn't good enough. She finally settled on a full sequin mini skirt in navy blue, a black camisole which had a zipper running through the middle and black thigh high boots. There was far too much flesh on show than what I was comfortable with.
"Liv you look SO hot! Liams going to be all over you!"
Since I told her about the motorbike she has been obsessing over getting Liam & I together. I rolled my eyes and pretended like I wasn't interested. And I'm not. Sure Liam is good to look at but I wouldn't trust my heart in his hands. He would shatter it to a thousand pieces and for that reason I'm not interested in pursuing anything with Liam. I'm not even sure if that includes friendship.
We pulled up at Zaks house, hearing the house before we could see it. He lived in the wealthy part of town, his house was massive, completely detached with one of those big intimidating gates at the entrance. Luckily the gate was wide open so we didn't need to use the intercom because I doubt he would grant Tia & I access. Music vibrated through the concrete and bounced off my chest it was that loud. Drunken teenagers spread out across the front lawn like herds of coyotes.
I edged closer to Tia as we neared the door, nausea bubbling up against my insides as my nerves got the better of me. Double doors prized open led to a grand hallway filled with more intoxicated bodies. The music got louder as we headed through to the kitchen.
I didn't see anyone I recognized yet. I didn't see Liam. The kitchen was black and white tiles, everything was elegantly decorated and you could visibly see Zaks family had money. A lanky guy handed us some silver paper cups and pointed to a keg that stood tall on the granite countertop.
"Beer." He about managed to say wafting an undesirable aroma of stale alcohol our way.
Tia immediately started filling her cup.
"Tia!" I gasped, shocked.
"It's a party Liv, you have to have at least one."
She then handed me the full cup and proceeded to fill up another one, presumably for herself. I took the smallest sips of beer in efforts to pace myself.
Dancing in the moonlight booms through the speakers and Tia drags me towards the makeshift dance floor created in the middle of the lounge. We shut the world out and lost ourselves in the fun of dancing. Continuing to move in rhythm as the tracks change over only stopping so I can find a bathroom.
I decided that my best bet is probably to go upstairs, I pass tens of drunken people on the staircase who were making out or just hanging out and search for a bathroom. The scale of Zaks house was intimidating, so many doors led off one corridor and I shudder to think about what's going on behind each one. A familiar face halted me in my tracks.
"You!" She squealed, far too excited. "Come with me to the bathroom, girl time." She followed the sentence with a little hip - sway dance and it was clear from the way her slurred words formed the sentence that she was drunk.
Ok, so I may not like Ruby King but she obviously knew where the bathroom was and I needed to pee. It seemed like a no brainer so I agreed. She pulled us to the end of the corridor and opened the door revealing a beautifully designed bathroom complete with an over sized bath, separate shower, his and her sinks. In awe I admired how fancy their toilet trips must be and when I turned around Ruby was sitting on the toilet demonstrating my thoughts herself.
"I don't like you you know? but girls go the bathroom together am I right? I see everything with these eyes, these eyes right here. You look at him and he looks at you and its all googly. It's all mush. And where am I? hes in there and then out of there. Doesn't call. doesn't text. not interested. but then there's you. Who looks like that. its not fair. I give him so much, he gives me nothing. I love him and I will get him so you need to just back off."
Ruby erupted into a big drunken rant, I don't even know what about but she waved her arms around like Jack Sparrow and although she was mad about something this was actually the nicest she's ever been to me. I stood and listened to her spoken nonsense and watched her get up, wash her hands and leave. What is it with drunken conversations between girls in the bathroom?
Pushing Rubys verbal diarrhea to the back of my mind I finish up my business and head back downstairs to find Tia. She's no longer on the dance floor and I can't spot her in the kitchen so I head out back where most people seem to have congregated. As the cool, fresh air hits my face and the jocks come into my line of sight I instantaneously regret stepping outside.
Liam is holding his full body weight on his hands whilst tipped upside down over a keg that Jordan pumped into his mouth. A crowd formed around admiring how strong his biceps are shouting 'chug, chug, chug.' I situated myself in a dark corner and watched from afar. Eventually Liam pulled himself away from the crowd as other people took turns doing keg stands. He stumbled his way over towards my direction
"Heeeeyyy, it's you." He scratched his head and I could see the cogs working as if he was thinking super hard, trying to remember my name. I felt my heart sink a little.
"My partner in crime." He plastered a cheeky grin across his face and dangled his wrists towards me as if this time he was trying to refresh my memory.
I offered him a polite smile in return but I was still hurting that he forgot my name. Liam stepped forward and closed the gap between us by a few inches. His hand reached up and stroked my right cheek leaving a trail of warmth behind.
"Shall I check if one of the bedrooms are free? We can head upstairs and I can stop all those rumors that you're a prude." He slurred out and ended the sentence with a cocky wink. It wasn't even sexy, it was sickening.
I physically felt my face drop, the polite smile no longer there. This guy can't even remember my name but is offering to take me upstairs and claim my v-card. Anger filled my insides, and the lid was about to blow.
"You're joking, right? Why would you think that I would want to do that with you right now or EVER? You're a man whore who fucks everything that moves and I refuse to be one of your conquests. You're just a dumb jock who has nothing going for him in life besides soccer and even then that's a hobby not a talent."
Liam coiled back right in front of me. Through drunken bloodshot eyes the darkness swirled in. His emotions were less guarded as the alcohol seized control of his body. Raw hurt and self doubt flushed through his expressive eyes and as he failed to build up his barriers he walked away rubbing the back of his neck.
Guilt washed over me, overtaking the anger. I didn't mean those things. Liam is the most talented soccer player I know, but I was clouded by hurt and couldn't rein control of my mouth. I spotted Tia through the window and rushed inside to persuade her that it was time to leave.
"Please Tia, there will be other parties. I need to go!"
"Liv don't be selfish, this is the first time John Paul has spoken to me, you know I've been crushing on him since fifth grade. Please stay, for me?"
God I hate being such a pushover sometimes but she has been into John Paul for most of her life so the good friend in me came out. I grabbed another drink and took a seat at the breakfast bar, noticing Liam through the glass making out with another girl, didn't take him long to get over what I said. Maybe I shouldn't feel so guilty after all.
***
The party had climaxed and was now dying down. Most people had retreated home because they drank so much they were sick. Others had crashed where they lay. A few - including Tia and John Paul had jumped into the pool, completely wasted but seeming like they were having the time of their lives.
I lay on the grass looking up at the stars in a dark corner of the garden, my heart still felt heavy with guilt. The night sky looked beautiful today with a clear view of the twinkling spot lights that flooded across the navy. A full moon beamed a white glow across the garden and the aftermath of the party felt serene.
I felt someone lay their head next to mine, a warm breeze carried oud wood, fresh vanilla and beer my way. I didn't have to turn my head to know who it was. I felt my breathing become more rapid and besides the far away giggles coming from the pool area a silence filled the night air around us.
The tension was thick, we both had unspoken words that we wanted to get out but neither of us made any attempts. Without him talking I wasn't sure if he had sobered up at all or if he came for round two. All I knew was my guilt level climbed higher now I could sense him so close to me. I had to say something.
"I'm sorry." I spoke so low I wasn't sure if he caught my words.
He didn't answer, so taking a deep breath I continued aiming for a louder volume this time.
"I didn't mean what I said. You're the most talented soccer player I've ever met and I don't think you're dumb. Sure you just about scrape your grades but that's because you either don't show up for class or spend the time talking over the teacher about your shenanigans... not because you're dumb."
Ok, I'm rambling and he's ignoring. This is going well.
I turned my head to face him, I need him to see that my face is sincere and that I mean what I say. He mirrors my actions and turns his face. Suddenly my cheeks start heating, I didn't think this through. Our faces are inches apart. The moonlight illuminating the edges of his face and those tiny nose freckles are harder to spot in the dimmed natural light. Guarded eyes tell me that he's sobered up slightly and that it was going to be a challenge to pull any emotions out of his soulless face.
He remained silent but he watched me intently. He really listened to what I was saying, I couldn't tell if he believed me but he knew that I was sorry and accepted that I believed me. That's all I needed to know. After the longest time of searching each others eyes for answers he spoke up.
"I'm a dick when I'm drunk. I'm not fully sober and I maybe slightly high right now but I wouldn't put you in that position, drunk or not. Everyone knows you're not that kind of girl."
I think that was his way of apologizing, I think that's the best I'm going to get so I accept it with a nod and smile at him to let him know we're good. We spend an infinite amount of time just staring up into the night sky together. It's peaceful and although there is only silence shared between us it isn't awkward. Curiosity poked through to the front of my subconscious...
"Liam?"
"Yeah?"
"How did you know where I live?"