First Person
Episode: Battlefield
Chapter 33
I walk into Ms. Morrell's office scared of what's she's gonna ask.
I sit down and she smiles at me.
"How are you Cassie?" She asks me.
"I'm fine." I say.
"Just fine?" She asks.
"I don't know what to say." I tell her honestly.
"Well how about we start with your father." She says.
I nod.
"How do you feel about what happened?" She asks me.
"Sad. Devastated actually. He was the only real family I had left. It was always me and him. I mean he left a lot for work but he always came back. He always told me he would come back." I say.
"How did you feel after it happened?" She asks me.
"Lost. Like I had no one. I know I did. Everyone was there for me. Even Jackson. It just wasn't the same. It never would be the same." I tell her tears welling up in my eyes.
"Have you told anyone this?" She asks me.
I shake my head. "I've never said this to anyone."
"Why?" She questions me.
I shrug. "I don't know. I guess I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?" She asks.
I shrug. I don't even know what I was afraid of.
"How about we talk about Matt and what happened at the police station." She tells me.
I nod.
"What were you feeling that night? What was going through your mind when you saw him?" She asks.
"I was scared. When we found out that it was him that was behind all the murders I was happy that it was gonna be over. Then when he walked in the police station and he held a gun up to Stiles I was terrified. I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't watch that happen." I say my voice cracking at the end.
"What did you think when he shot Scott?" She asks.
My head shots up at that.
How'd did she know? He healed. I didn't think anyone would know.
A lot must have happened when I was out.
"I was scared I was gonna lose my best friend. I had no way to help him. His mom couldn't help him. She had to watch him get shot. She couldn't help him and everything she tried she was told to move or Scott would die." I say recalling the event of that terrible night.
"What about when you were shot?" She asks leaning forward.
I get quiet.
"Cassidy?" She questions.
"I uh I don't remember. It's all a blur. After I got shot. I can only remember parts. Bits and pieces." I lie.
"You and I both know that's not true." She tells me.
"I just can't talk about this anymore." I say crying.
"Talking is what helps you get stronger. Helps you work through your issues." She tells me handing me a tissue.
I nod and wipe away my tears.
"I thought I was gonna die. It felt like the night was never gonna end. Matt had all the control there that night." I tell her.
She nods telling me to continue.
"When I finally got back to Stiles I was happy that I got to see him. I thought that if I was gonna die at least I got to see him one last time. Tell him I love him one last time." I say.
"Then what happened?" She asks me.
"Stiles and I tried to get to everyone. We didn't make it very far. I was too weak. I had lost so much blood. I fell over and I felt my eyes closing I thought that was it." I say having flashbacks of what happened.
She nods. "What were you thinking as you were sitting there?"
"I don't really know. I was scared for sure. Scared I was gonna die. I was relived that as I was closing my eyes the pain was going away. That's why I thought I was dying. The closer you get to your death a lot of the time you don't feel pain. I was sad I wouldn't see anyone ever again. Stiles, Scott, Allison, Lydia. God even Jackson." I tell her sucking in my breath.
"Is that all?" She asks.
I shake my head. "I was kinda happy. Happy that I would see my dad again. Is that bad?" I ask.
"No. It's normal. When people are grieving it's normal for them to have thoughts like that. It's especially normal considering the situation you were in." She tells me.
I nod.
"Well it seems like you've had a rough couple of weeks." She says.
"Yeah. Rough is an understatement." I scoff.
"I heard that you're living with the Martin's now." She says.
I nod.
"How does it feel to know that you have a permanent place to stay?" She asks.
"Good. It's feels really good. I feel like I belong there. Not that I didn't feel like it with the Argents it's just different." I say.
"Different how?" She questions further.
"I was with them when I found out about my dad. I think they felt bad. They didn't want me to be alone. They offered me a place to stay and said I could stay for as long as I needed. Since my dad was my only family I needed a permanent place. It just felt like they were giving me a room for a few weeks until they were gonna ask when I was gonna go." I tell her.
"I know that's not what it was. It just felt like it. I know that Lydia and her mom want me there for sure. They've always treated me like family. I've known them my whole life I feel like I can be myself there." I finish.
"What made you feel like you couldn't be yourself with the Argents?" She asks.
The fact that they're werewolf hunters and want to kill my friends.
"I don't know. I think it's like I said. I've known Lydia for so long. I'll always be a little closer to her than Allison. She's knows more. I love Allison she's an amazing friend. I'm so happy that her family let me stay for as long as they did." I say smiling a little.
"Have you talked to Allison?" She asks.
I shake my head. "No. I haven't seen her. I've been talking to mostly Lydia and Stiles. I've only seen Scott once."
She nods. "Well I think for today this is good. It's a good start. If you would like we can start to schedule an appointment for once a week."
"Yeah. That'd be great." I say getting up and grabbing my bag.
She smiles. "Okay. How about every Tuesday?"
"Can we uh can we do Tuesday's and Thursday's?" I ask.
"Sure." She nods and smiles.
I feel like this is gonna be good for me.
Talking to someone who I'm not close to but who can't go around telling everyone anything I say.
Okay so I lied. I said this was gonna be the lacrosse game too but I just had so much I wanted to put into this chapter. I feel like Cass really needed to talk to someone on how she was feeling. Don't worry she will eventually talk to Stiles about what she's feeling. I promise that next chapter is the lacrosse game and then the last episode. Love you all.
*Edited