I finished up with my last client around 4:30. Realizing that Sarah was probably going to be rushed, I decided I would pick something up for JJ for supper.
I get to their place about ten after. They aren't back yet, so I decide to just wait out front.
As soon as I see her pull in, I can see JJ jumping up and down in his seat excited.
I felt proud that he ran right to me once he got out of the car.
"Oh my gosh!" Sarah says catching up to us "You just saved the day." She says referring to the kids meal in my hand.
"No need to be dramatic." I laugh. "I'll take care of JJ while you get ready."
"Thank you!" She yells back at me.
I get JJ and try to put him in his booster, but he keeps wiggling. He keeps asking to sit in a different chair.
"I'm big boy!" He whines.
Of course, I can't say no. I sit him in his chair and he goes straight for the fries.
After about 10 minutes, he is kind of over the sitting still and eating thing. He pulls out the toy and hands it to me to open it.
He gets super excited to find some kind of car thing with a Disney character or something on it. I really don't know.
"Show mommy?" He asks trying to get out of the chair.
"Not right now, buddy." I say, "mommy is getting ready."
Suddenly, I hear the door open. It must be Sarah leaving the bathroom.
JJ hears it too because he climbs down from his chair and goes running with his toy to find Sarah.
"Mommy! Mommy!" I hear JJ say
"Get back here mister!" I yell lightly chasing after him, trying to get him to come back.
I freeze at what I see. My mouth falls open, and I can't look away.
Sarah, in nothing but a towel. Her hair is pulled up, but there are cute little baby hairs that are wet and curl at the base of her neck. Her shoulders and chest still have a few water droplets on her as they slowly slide down toward...
Stop staring, David!
"I have to go..." she says frazzled, "put clothes on."
Damn, I probably made her uncomfortable.
She turns quickly and makes a beeline to her room. My eyes involuntarily follow her as I see her long tanned legs move briskly.
JJ and I find a spot on the couch and start up a movie.
I'm trying my very best not to think about Sarah naked. My mind is wandering into a territory, I definitely don't want to deal with.
As we continue the movie, Sarah comes in to say goodbye before leaving.
I look her way but then quickly back to the TV, I don't want her to notice me staring.
But damn, I mean who wouldn't stare at her? She looks good with clothes on too!
I only needed a glimpse. She looks beautiful. She doesn't even need to try. Her long blonde hair falls perfectly. And those legs on display... damn.
"I'll be home by 9 or 10. Bed by 8:00 please."
"Don't worry!" I say trying not to stare at her. "Go. Have fun."
As I watch her leave, I feel an ache in my chest. I know she said she was going to be with her sister, but will there be others there? Maybe another guy?
Part of me hopes that there is. I want her to feel comfortable and explore a relationship with someone else.
Another part of me hopes that there isn't another guy. Maybe just maybe, I could have a chance?
Fuck. What am I even thinking? I can't go there.
Above all, I just want her to be happy. I know she says she is, but there is a part of her heart that I don't think will ever be truly happy until she accepts and truly embraces James' death.
I make it to the restaurant just shy of 6:00. Luckily, I wasn't the only one running late, as my sister wasn't even here yet.
I text her when I arrive.
I went to the hostess and she showed me to our table that was reserved.
The long table had 6 place settings on it, but only one person sitting at it, Michael.
I sit across from him nervously, "I guess we're the only ones who decided to be on time." I tease lightly.
"I guess so." He smiles.
The server comes and asks if we want a drink. I mean we might as well, since we are waiting for everyone.
We both ask for white wine.
My phone dings.
Samantha: Did I tell you 6? I meant 6:30!
"What time did Sam tell you this started?" I ask.
"6:00." He responds.
I scoff.
Oh she is dead. She knows exactly what she has done.
"She gave us the wrong time, didn't she?" He laughs not seeming upset.
I take a sip of my wine, "it appears so. Everyone else won't be here until 6:30." I inform.
I think he can sense my annoyance. "If it makes you feel better," he offers me a warm smile, "my brother did something similar except he didn't show up at all."
He shakes his head at the memory, "he invited me to supper with his wife and a few friends." He continues the story, "he said there were going to be 10 people there."
My mouth shoots open, "no way!" I can't hold back a laugh.
"Yepp." He chuckles. "What's worse is he told the person they set me up with the same thing. So imagine walking into a restaurant expecting to see a party of ten, but instead, you see me utterly confused, with no clue on what's going on."
We both break out into laughter.
"My sister-in-law was so mad that my brother messed it up, she scolded him 'you had one job'" he says mimicking his sister in law.
Once our laughter dies down we are a little bit more relaxed and comfortable around each other.
"Have you been on a lot of dates?" He asked hesitantly, "since?"
I shake my head, "I'm not ready." I say honestly, "and I don't know if I will ever be." I disclose.
"I figured as much." He says empathetically, "I wasn't able to admit I was ready until I took off my ring." He admits.
I bite my lip and look down at my left hand. "I can't take them off." I divulge softly.
"That's okay." He smiles, "you shouldn't feel rushed. Everyone grieves differently."
I sigh a breath of relief, "I really appreciate you saying that"
"You know, I meant my offer." He says changing the subject. "If you ever want to talk, as a friend, let me know." He says with kindness in his eyes.
I'm grateful for his offer and may take him up on it, we'll see.
"I also don't want to scare you, but if you ever find yourself ready to date, I wouldn't hesitate to take you out." He says honestly.
It doesn't bother me. He wasn't trying to rush me or make me feel uncomfortable. He was merely just putting it out there that a date with him would be an option.
Samantha and her friends finally came and joined us at the table.
The dinner was filled with lively conversation and laughs.
Samantha sat next to me and Blake sat across from her and next to Michael. I mainly talked to them throughout the night.
When 8:30 hit I was pretty tired.
"I'll walk you out." Michael offers after I say goodbye to everyone and give Samantha and Blake a hug.
Michael walks me to my car. "You know if this was a date, I would kiss you goodnight." He teases
"True." I tease back "but it's not a date so no kiss for you." I laugh.
"Have a good night, Sarah." He says giving me a hug. "I'll see you around."
:::
It's nearing the end of our third date and I am desperately hoping that this will be the time James actually kisses me.
At the end of our first and second date he held my hand and walked me all the way to my dorm room door and then placed a kiss on my nose softly.
Now even though that is adorably cute, I am eagerly waiting to feel his lips on mine.
Never have I felt such an innate desire to just attack someone with my mouth.
After driving me back to my dorm, James opened the car door for me, took my hand and walked with me to my door.
I look at him wide eyed and couldn't help but bite my lip in anticipation.
He looks deep into my eyes, tucks a piece a hair behind my ear and leans in.
Please. Please. Please.
I see him lean in more and my eyes flutter closed when I feel his soft lips against mine.
This wasn't just a kiss. This was THE kiss. The ones you see in movies. The one you can feel all the way in your toes. A kiss you don't ever want to stop. Who needs air?
His tongue licks my lip and I can't hold back a soft moan, resulting in my mouth opening and his tongue sliding in.
Warmth spreads across my body as the butterflies that always appear when he is around start fluttering even faster.
He pulls away slowly, leaving me breathless.
I don't want to open my eyes. I'm afraid if I do, I'll wake up and it will all be a dream.
I hear his low chuckle, which gives me goosebumps.
I open my eyes slowly and see his eyes shining like marbles looking back at me.
"Can we do that again?" I say softly without thinking. I quickly hide my face into his chest.
"We will be doing that again." He says kissing the top of my head and holding me close. "Just not tonight."
I pull away and pout.
He laughs and gives me a kiss on my nose. "Good night, Sarah." He smiles and walks away.
:::
I walk into my house and find David on the couch watching sports news or something.
I plop down next to him and breathe a sigh of relief.
Honestly, tonight was fun, but socializing is exhausting.
"How did it go?" David asks after muting the TV.
"I was right." I share.
He looks at me confused.
"Samantha tried to set me up."
He looks at me attentively. "And how did that go?" He asks unsure. Probably because I snapped at him yesterday when this topic came up.
"Michael, the one she tried to set me up with, is really sweet, but I'm not ready to date." I say.
"Okay."
"I know I snapped at you yesterday when you brought it up, and I'm sorry." I begin. "I haven't been on a date since James and I don't want to." I explain. "Mainly because I haven't found anyone worth me breaking my promise to James."
He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "What promise?" He asks.
"The promise that I would love him forever." I say softly, trying not to cry.
He notices my struggle and takes me in his arms. I place my face into his hard chest. The comfort I feel in his strong arms bring the tears that I was fighting.
"Shhh." He says into my temple. "Sarah, finding someone else doesn't mean that you love him any less." He coos.
"He was the love of my life." I confess. "How fair is that to the next person?" I say wiping away a few tears.
"That's a question I can't answer." He says as he rubs my back. "But you shouldn't let what-ifs and what could be, stop you from trying."
"I'm pathetic." I say disgusted with myself and hide my face further from him.
"Hey." He says softly as he lifts my face with his comforting touch. "You aren't pathetic. You're human." He comforts me.
I see understanding in his eyes.
"I loved James." He says absentmindedly caressing my arm. "He was my best friend. And he loved you with everything he had." He says his voice filled with care. "But I know he wouldn't want you feeling guilty if you were to let someone else in."
I nod my head.
"You deserve to love again." He says with adoration. "You deserve to be loved again."
I look into his beautiful eyes and know he means every word.
I don't know what's going on with me. But his kind eyes and encouraging words are making me dizzy.
My gaze slowly moves from his eyes to his soft pink lips.
Like some weird gravitational pull I feel myself leaning in.
My lips touch his and first he doesn't do anything. Probably shocked at what I am doing.
I would be too, but I'm not thinking anymore.
After a few seconds, he kisses me back.
His lips are as soft as I thought they would be. I can't help but to run my tongue along his plump lower lip.
He opens his mouth welcoming my tongue to meet his.
My heart is beating fast as his arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him. Heat rushes through my body, when I feel a desire I haven't felt in years.
4 years to be exact...
I haven't felt this feeling since James....
James!
I pull away quickly and stand up. I turn my back to him. I'm freaking out, but am trying to stay calm.
I put my hands to my lips. Remembering the feeling of David's lips on mine.
I take a shaky breath, "I think it's time for you to go." I say not looking at him.
"Sarah." He pleads.
I am fighting back tears.
"Goodbye, David." I say trying to not express any emotion. I run into my room and shut the door.
💭 Thoughts?
🧐 Predictions?
So that happened... 🙈
I'm nervous for how they both will react!
Thank you for reading!
~Wendy