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. . . Push and pull me even more,
I'm confident I will win. . .
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CHAPTER 02
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The house was full with people. It was pretty unusual for everyone to be gathered together for dinner. There would be always someone missing, but this time all of them were present. And I knew what it was about. I also knew I couldn't escape it even though I didn't want it. But still I took a shot and stayed at my room hoping to not be disturbed for the rest of the night.
I was laying on my bed, doing nothing productive. Lights- shut down, the only glimpse of light entering my room was the faint one from the stars and the moon. It was a full moon, so it shone a little bit brighter than usual. I usually had my blinds down, but for some odd reason that night I had the glass door of my balcony completely opened allowing me to listen to the chirping of some night birds and the whistles of the crickets.
I had my laptop on my lap, watching some new Anime I had found few days before. Strange for a killer and a criminal to watch Anime? Well, I did. And I was enjoying it until someone knocked on my door.
It was definitely not Jina, since if it were her she would burst in right after the knock, but no one entered. Meaning I had to pause the episode, get up and get the door myself. So I did, without bothering to turn the lights on although I knew the lights from the corridor would blind me once I swing the door opened.
"What?" I asked once I had the door opened. I tried not to sound rude, but I definitely sounded bored and annoyed since I had to stop the episode halfway. My eyes half closed whilst trying to adapt to the rays of the yellow light bulb that fell directly onto my eyes once I looked up at the ravenatte guy.
"Why do you always have your lights off? Do you even recognise me now?" He waved a hand in front of my face and I rolled my eyes slapping it down so he placed it back in his pocket.
"I recognize you Mark, I am not blind!" I leaned my body on the door frame, not letting him in, but not leaving my room either. My arms folded over my chest as I wait for an explanation. "What do you want seriously?"
"Me? Nothing. Taeyong wants you down for dinner."
I rolled my eyes. I already knew what he wanted. "Tell the red parrot I am not hungry." I stepped back and started closing the door, just to stop midway.
"You know he doesn't care about that right?" Mark's eyebrow was raised as he looked at me with an emotionless half grin, probably telling me that I had to get down for dinner, even though I knew why and I already expressed myself about the situation earlier on the phone with the leader.
I let out a sigh "Fine, I'll be down in a minute." and once again I tried to close the door just to be stopped as a foot stepped before it refraining me from closing it completely, before he opened it again, finally taking his hand out of his sweatpants pockets.
I didn't say anything, the action leaving me a little surprised. I looked up accidentally or out of habit staring at his ocean eyes with mine widened in confusion. In a second the door was swung back opened and he was inside my room leaning on the door frame with the door closed. A quite serious expression rested on his face, one that gave me goosebumps for a short moment.
"When do you plan to stop Ji?"
I sighed deeply and leaned on the other side of the door frame. He wasn't asking me this for the first time and I knew what he meant, because everyone were asking me the same question, just he looked different when doing so. It almost looked like he least wanted to see me messing around with people. And I noticed that some time ago.
Though he looked serious, I didn't feel like being serious at the moment, I rarely stayed serious. I smirked as I stared at him. "Why..? You jealous..?" My voice was low, there was no one else but us, it was a deafening silence and we were close enough, so even if I whispered it would be audible for him.
For my surprise he didn't deny my words, but didn't smirk back either. His face still looked as serious. "Maybe..."
I chuckled and stepped closer to him, my fingers slowly tracing a line up his chest and I looked up at him with a teasing smile. Our faces were close enough that I could feel his breath above my face, but he didn't pull away so I stopped inches away. My eyes locked with his, shining like two bright stars in the darkness of my room. And I smirked. "I could give you a shot if you want..."
He pushed me back gently until I was the one trapped between the door and his body. And I hated it. I hated when I was the one being trapped instead of the other way around. It brought back memories and it brought back fear. It didn't even take that long for my heart to start racing, but I still kept my eyes on his, trying to hide the fact that I was freaking out and loosing my breath due to a possible panic attack.
He leaned his face in front of mine, lowering his eyes to my level and this time he smirked at me. "You know I don't fuck around with random girls for fun..." His voice was low and smoky in my ears and I may have started to panic more. "Now get going, the leader is waiting." My breath was caught up in my throat and I managed to let it out just after he finally left me alone.
I thought I stopped having panic attacks long time ago, but this was too close to one. Once again in my life my breathing was hard and heavy and my hands were shaking badly as they rose to my chest to hopefully calm me down. My legs grew weak and I think I barely made it to my bed to sit down before I collapse.
I quit taking pills some time ago and now I had no other way but to calm myself down on my own. I breathed in and out as slowly and as deeply as possible until I managed to breathe normally again. I drank up the water I had left in the bottle next to my bed with sweaty shaking hand and finally decided it was time to go downstairs.
You know I don't fuck around random girls for fun...
Random? Was I a random girl? I scoffed remembering the sentence. I wasn't the one to complain about being called a random when I was the one who treated men like toys for years already.
I quit thinking of it as I entered the dining room with everyone inside. I took a seat on my place, though I didn't plan on eating anything this evening. I just wanted to hear out our so called leader and disappear somewhere alone.
"I'm here." I forced a cheerful smile and started playing with the food in the plate in front of me.
"Good." The scarlet haired man on the head of the table mumbled next to me before taking a breath as the rest were waiting for his mini speech to be said. "So as I said we have some unfinished business in Japan, I already have the team that will come with me, so Yuta, Johnny, WinWin, Mark, Haechan, Ten, Soji, Jina and Dayeon-" The said brunette girl raised an eyebrow in surprise to be mentioned, but I ignored it and rolled my eyes before he even continued talking. "-you guys should gather at my office to discuss the details after dinner."
"I said I am not going." I looked up from my food and at the cold faced crimson haired man that raised up his slit eyebrow at me.
"It wasn't a question, Soji! It's an order!"
I let out a sigh, remembering the exact same words from the phone call from earlier that day. "I will hate myself for this..." I mumbled before standing up in front of him. "I told you I don't want to go to Japan, Lee Taeyong!"
His eyes darkened at me and even though it was usually enough to make me cower in front of him, I never gave out the feeling. Instead I returned the glare he shot me. "Garden!" He said coldly "Now!" and I didn't have a choice but to walk in front of him to the backyard ignoring the stares from everyone else in the room.
Here it came, once again I had to let myself get irritated by my red haired leader without having the power to refuse whatever he would say.
"Aren't Jina and Dayeon enough for you there?"
"You know well enough that Jina doesn't even speak Japanese and you, Dayeon and Yuta are the only fluent Japanese speakers in this house! So you will come with me and we will find and kill that woman and whoever is helping her! Understood?!"
I scoffed. "Why don't you just let her be Taeyong? Whatever she has stolen from you, you still have hundred times the amount more of it! What's the point?!"
"The point is, no one takes anything from me and people should learn that and what are the consequences. Now listen here little brat, you will obey my command unless you want to end up like that traitor! I don't care whether you like it or not! We will kill her and that's it! We'll go to Japan and kidnap her! Torture her till she spits everything out and that's it!"
I looked at him deadly in the eyes. "You can't just force me to go if I don't want to, Taeyong..." I mouthed lowly and coldly and walked away from him, passing by the brunette girl standing at the door like wind without even looking at her.
Why couldn't he understand that I wasn't really in mood for leaving my room yet? Why would I even leave the country? I hated him for doing everything his own way without caring what others felt. Though I was grateful to him for everything he had done, I wasn't ready to step on a territory that wasn't familiar to me and Japan definitely wasn't.
I stormed through the house in rush, without caring what will happen to me once I get back, I grabbed the car keys from one of my favourite cars, though it wasn't mine at all and entered the wide garage unlocking the car from the other end even before I get close to it.
The black Aventador SVJ was shining under the dim garage lights as I neared to it, the door slid opened for me even before I reached it. I didn't know much about sports cars, but I knew enough about this one Lamborghini model since I stole it regularly.
I started it, feeling the calm purr of the engine under my body and I drove off away from the mansion and down the highway, cursing my leader and rethinking my actions over and over again in my mind without realising the speed I drove the car with.
Usually I wouldn't let anyone I am in a car with drive faster than they should. I was always the one that is terrified from fast rides. But this time I wanted nothing more but to release my stress and I guess I did that thanks to the gas pedal.
I may have overreacted about the whole Japan thing and I didn't have a reason to overthink it too, I didn't have a choice but to follow the order anyway.
'Welcome to Seoul!' The sign caught my attention. It made me realise I had been driving for quite some time. And it meant entering a city where I should have probably drove slower. But for an unknown reason I couldn't persuade myself to slow down.
My phone was ringing constantly on the passenger seat for a long time and I let it buzz without touching it. But it was getting annoying already. Though I knew why I was being called, I didn't feel like talking.
I rolled my eyes as I took the phone, sliding the red button. "Stop calling me!" I whisper-yelled and threw the phone back on the passenger seat, feeling a lot better when the thing was silent.
My attention was switched back on the road. I had entered the main streets of Seoul. The city looked beautiful at night, enlightened with different coloured lights, busy streets which by the way didn't stop me from driving the Aventador full speed, dodging cars like nothing. I didn't have the chance to take in the beauty of the city, because one wrong move I could destroy the car.
I didn't care about killing someone- it wouldn't be the first time; I didn't care about dying or hurting myself either, but for all I knew I would have to listen to some bullshit once I'd get back home whether I'd get alive or not. So keeping the car unharmed was necessary.
I may have passed by so many green lights that I let myself get carried away seconds before I reach the next semaphore. My phone was ringing again and I grabbed it harshly cursing under my breath. I found myself whisper-yelling at the phone again. "Jesus Jina! Stop calling me!" I was irritated and I seriously needed her to leave me alone for a night. I turned the call down and forwarded all of the calls and messages to the voicemail.
I looked back at the road again. I cursed loudly as I stepped on the breaks. The light was red and there were people already crossing the street. It was almost too late for me to stop the car. I almost hit three people at once. I almost committed a crime I probably couldn't cover unlike the classic missions I had as a gangster.
The screeching sound of the wheels was deafeningly loud until the car finally came to a stop. My heart was thundering in my chest and I had my eyes closed. I couldn't look. What was I doing? My breaths were raged even after I managed to stop probably without hitting anyone, since I didn't slam the hood of the car against anything.
What was I doing..?
I stabilized my breathing fast, though I could feel my heart still beating irregularly.
I could have killed them... but I didn't. It wouldn't have been the first time I killed someone though. But I would rather shoot them with a shot gun than hit them with a car, it's less stressful for me and less painful for them. Besides I wouldn't have someone else's car ruined that way. What was I even thinking about in a situation like that one?
I mentally rolled my eyes at myself and instead I jumped out of the car, reaching for the shocked people in front of the matte black Lambo. I didn't have to glance around me to know that I had hundreds of people staring at me as I approached the three guys in front of me.
"Are you guys okay?!" I asked grabbing one of the boys by the shoulders. It was hard to recognize his face with the black hood on his head in the dark, but once his dark eyes caught mine I widened my own. "You guys!?" I yelled in shock, staring at the three guys in front of me in surprise, my jaw hanging open to the ground.
The ink haired guy I touched by the shoulders widened his deep dark blue eyes, that had lost their colour in the darkness of the night, they looked far darker than when I saw them during the day at school.
The brunette next to him was the first to react after seeing me standing in front of them. "Soji!?" Renjun furrowed his eyebrows processing the situation. "H-how!?"
"I-" I started, wanting to explain my situation, but I got stopped too early by a man in the car behind mine- well technically not mine.
"Move!" The obviously old man yelled honking loudly, making the other drivers start honking too until everyone made my ears bleed. I noticed that by the time I stood in shock the light had turned green and I seriously needed to move from there.
I looked at the guys in front of me. "Look guys, no time for explanation! Get in the car I'll give you three a ride around Seoul!" I said and got back inside the car. The trio obeyed and entered the black Lambo without any objections.
I gave them a quick look before driving away, faster than usual again.
"How could you be driving? Aren't you under age for that?" Jeno asked a question first, leaning his head on my seat. He was sitting in the back with Renjun, while Jaemin had decided to occupy the passenger seat.
I looked at the rear-view mirror catching his gaze, and I flashed him a smirk. "Aren't we all under age for a lot of other things too?" I raised an eyebrow and he looked back at me in the mirror returning my smirk for a second before I focused back at the road.
"Soji you don't have to drive this fast, we are in a human settlement." Renjun's voice reminded me. It sounded worried but a little scolding as well. I guessed it was time to seriously slow down and I nodded, the speed of the car noticeably falling. "Nice car though!"
I smirked mischievously at the compliment. "Thanks... but it's not mine..."
The three gasped, probably misjudging the situation, which wouldn't be a full misjudgement. I smiled evilly but kept my gaze on the road.
"Did you steal it love?" Jaemin asked and I glanced at him for a second. I was trapped in a car with three men which had never happened, except any from the gang. But somehow I didn't even notice that, I never felt the so familiar rush of nervousness and fear of the unknown. Not until I locked my eyes with the sky blue ones next to me.
He had a smirk on his face and I sensed something: danger... It wasn't the typical scary feeling I got around people that seemed dangerous for me. It was a different kind of danger and I liked this one. I already set my eyes on him from the first day, but maybe I wasn't the only one who craved some playtime among the two of us.
I smirked back at him and continued staring ahead again. "I would much more call it borrowing rather than stealing. It's my friend's car, but I kind of didn't ask for permission before I took it." Jaemin chuckled lowly, something was telling me he found this rather amusing.
"Hey Soji can you stop somewhere around here?" Renjun's soft voice stopped my head from filling up with any more thoughts and I nodded, once again glancing at the rear-view mirror to meet his eyes.
Stopping the car on a bus stop wasn't the best place to stop a car, but it was for a second to drop them off, so I didn't care less.
"Thanks!" Renjun smiled and I returned the smile.
"We'll go too!" Jeno said pulling Jaemin out of the passenger seat although the later didn't seem to enjoy leaving the comfort of the light grey leather seat.
He leaned down peeking his head inside the car, a half grin decorating his face before he gave me a wink. "Thank you for the ride love!"
I couldn't help but chuckle after he closed the door. I felt the need to ruin him. He seemed so fun to play, probably not longer than anyone else I had laid my eyes on before. And it seemed so easy to get to him and break him right after. Besides he was a playboy, he deserved it. He deserved to suffer a little and I was more than willing to give him the pain he had probably caused so many.
My phone buzzed on the passenger seat and the curiosity didn't let me leave the message unread. "Stop at the grocery store after this bus stop. I'll come to have some full speed rides with you love!" An unknown number, but the form of the massage was enough to tell me who wrote it. I didn't even realize he got my number from my phone while I was driving. So desperate...
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To be continued. . .