Leah
"Lee, you're back!" Sofie cried as she ran to me. Picking her up, I swung her around in my arms before placing her back down on her feet. "Why did you leave?"
Tiny tears fell from her eyes, coating her thick lashes like dew on blades of grass, clumping them together, and darkening her already black hairs. Wiping them away, I smiled.
"I had important things to do, Pumpkin," I said sweetly, avoiding the glares I got from both men in the room. Derrive, who had waited patiently by the car, had realized quickly how silly it was to stay back and ran up to me before I could get to the shed.
Sofie raised her arms and begged silently to be lifted again. I did so, knowing I would never hold her like this again. I stared into her adorably over-sized eyes, suddenly feeling tired.
"Sofie," I said as I held back a yawn. "I want to introduce you to someone." I turned and pointed over to my bulky bodyguard by the door. He waved curtly at her, giving her his best I'm-a-good-guy look.
"His name is Derrive," I told her as I walked his way. I held her to him with my outstretched arms, forcing her small body into his massive hands. He held her as she squirmed, afraid of the newcomer and stranger. "Don't be afraid, Sofie. He's really nice."
She didn't seem convinced. James, meanwhile, just stared at us as we tried to get her adjusted to the new man. He sat still on his stool, hands on his knees, bracing himself.
"You're kind of cute," Der managed to say with a rumble to his chest. She stopped wiggling to awe at his face, eyes as wide as her mouth. I laughed quietly as to not disturb them. Then I walked over to James, pulled out the other stool, and sat down beside him.
We didn't speak until Derrive took Sofie outside. She wanted to run around and use her legs, and he had wholeheartedly agreed to go with her. He might not have if he hadn't seen my face, though. I was smiling meekly, watching Sofie slowly relax against him, and the sadness I felt must've shown on my face.
"So you're really going to marry him?" James asked avoiding my gaze.
I shifted uncomfortably, staring out the open door at the giant tossing the baby in the air like a sack of feathers. She giggled happily, forgetting for a moment that I had abandoned her a few days ago.
I sighed, still in thought. "I have no choice."
"You always have a choice, Leah. Stop thinking that you don't." He shook his head vigorously. "I don't understand why you're doing this."
I turned to face him now, fear gripping every muscle in my neck and pulling against me. "When I ran away, I stumbled into the Bronze pack. I met some amazing people while living there," I told him as I thought of Wendy. A heated blush crept up the sides of my neck as I thought of someone else.
"If this war continues, and the people I love get hurt... James, I can stop this before it even happens, don't you see?"
He stood, pushing the stool back with his thighs. The metal seat toppled to the floor, disrupting the people outside and startling me.
"So you're willing to sacrifice yourself?" he growled. He was angry, I could see that, and that anger was directed at me. I was too tired to feel anything else, but the spark of rage did hit me in the back of the head like a slight shock from an electrical socket. But as soon as it came, it disappeared.
"Wouldn't you? If you had the power to determine the fate of everyone you cared for, wouldn't you give up your life for them?" I could slowly feel my eyes closing, so I stood to move around a bit, hoping it would wake me up.
He grunted bitterly, jerking his head away and looking out the frosted window. I had wished he would understand me, to accept my fate as I had the night before, but he didn't. He couldn't comprehend the significance of my decision, just how many lives would be saved by giving up my own.
I had to tell him.
"James," I murmured, resting my hand on his shoulder. I tugged softly so he would turn to face me. I needed him to see my face, to fully listen as I told him. "An entire pack rests on my shoulders. It's my fault that they're in this war, now it is my duty to get them out of it."
A look of understanding met my trembling face.
"N-now, I need you to take care of Sofie while I-I'm gone." My lower lip quivered as I shed a tear. He wiped it away with his thumb, cupping my cheek tenderly. His own lips found my forehead, pressing firmly against my heated skin.
It was a kiss out of love, of a friendship never forgotten. A kiss that held so many unheard memories and unbroken promises. As his lips touched my skin, I was reminded of my own love for him. I was never in love with James, but in my heart, I'd always feel an attachment to him; one that could never be destroyed, no matter what happens.
I had to bite hard against the inside of my cheek to stop myself from kissing him back. If only he knew the conflict raging inside me, I thought infuriated. If I kissed him now, all my hard work building up my walls would fall apart in seconds.
I stepped away and held his arms in my hands.
"Just because I understand," he said with a smile meant to soothe me. "...doesn't mean I like it." He took a step, then wrapped me up in his arms, resting his head on top of mine. "I hate that you're so selfless."
I buried my face in his shirt. "I do, too," I admitted truthfully, finally letting the full magnitude of my decision rest on my shoulders. This entire time I had only thought of what I'd be doing to help others. But now, seeing what it was doing to James, I ultimately let myself see the consequences and strain I had put on the people I cared about.
Out of curiosity, and giving in to a sadistic part of me that was nagging me for days, I opened my mind to link with Kane. This would have been the first time since my departure almost a week ago.
I regretted it the moment it happened and quickly blocked myself from connecting. I almost screamed from it.
Pain.
Searing hot, blistering as the sun in the desert, kind of pain.
Longing, loneliness, stuck in an infinite loop of misery where he could find no way out. From that small glimpse, I could see he was in his wolf form and had been for days now. His pack was slowly ruining itself because of his lack of appearance.
He was camped out in a cave a few miles from the house, eating nothing but rabbits and birds he had caught. At night, he would go and search for me, only coming back to his cave when the sun started to rise on the distant horizon. Then he would sleep for a few hours, but would always be awoken by nightmares.
James saw my distress and placed me back down on the stool.
"What happened?" he asked, worried.
"K-Kane," I managed to mumble out. I was fighting off the urge to shift and run to him. He was waiting for me, never giving himself enough time to think before he started looking again, and I was miles away, getting ready for a stupid marriage.
James gripped my face and raised my eyes to meet his. "Are you talking about Alpha Kane?"
I nodded.
"Why do you look so pale? Leah, what's wrong?" I shook my head, breaking free from his hold on my cheeks.
"I have to go," I stated as I stood to leave. He followed me out to the yard where I met with Derrive and Sofie playing on the swingset I built for her. It took me two years to save enough money for those swings, and now she wouldn't be able to use it.
I jerked my head towards the gate. "Let's go," I growled as I clenched my fists at my sides. Sofie looked back and forth between Derrive and James, then frowned at me like she was about to cry.
Stopping her before she could start, I took her from Der and handed her off to James. He bounced her, but she kept on crying.
Derrive gripped my arm and pulled me back. I snarled, pushing hard on his solid chest. His eyes darkened, but he stayed quiet.
"First," he whispered in my ear. "...I'm going to take Sofie as far away as I can."
Calming down slightly at the sound of her screaming voice, I nodded in agreement. It was better to make sure she was safe and as far away from here as possible before I met up with Markus.
I stood by as he met up with James and pulled him aside. I couldn't hear what he was saying, and frankly, I didn't want to know. I'd rather not know where they were so I couldn't risk seeing them.
When they were finished speaking, Derrive came back to my side and pulled me along to the car. I turned around and saw James slinging the bag of supplies I brought over his shoulder, holding Sofie on his hip.
He ran off into the woods, both the bag and my sister bouncing as he sprinted behind the trees. I had hoped, a bit resentfully, that I would never see them again.