get ready for some cringe <3
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"Jordan?" Pi'erre whispered.
Although he was awake, Jordan kept his eyes closed in hope Pi'erre would believe he was sleeping and leave him alone.
"I know you're not sleeping." Pi'erre layed his hand on Jordan's chest. "You're breathing way too fast."
Jordan turned on his other side, where he wasn't facing him, to signal his boyfriend that he wasn't in the mood to talk.
"How long are you gonna keep ignoring me?" Pi'erre sighed and wrapped his arms around him from behind.
He burried his head in Jordan's neck and placed a few kisses on the other ones exposed skin before he tried to get him to talk one last time.
"I had no other choice." Pi'erre's cold hand slipped under his T-Shirt. "Do you think I enjoyed seeing him touch you? You're not the only one that suffered. It was just as hard for me as it was for you."
Jordan felt his eyes burning. Luckily they were closed because otherwise he would've had to rub over them by now.
He wanted to scream at Pi'erre in that moment. How could he compare their situations if Jordan was the one who went through it and all he had to do was just watch while it happened? But Jordan didn't say anything. He neither had the energy nor did he think Pi'erre would've understood him or even listened in the first place.
Since Jordan didn't reply or move, Pi'erre seemed to finally give up and let go of him. For a few minutes, the only thing Jordan heard in the dark was Pi'erre's steady breathing. He was about to fall asleep when the other one spoke up again.
"You're being more than disrespectful to me right now, Jordan. And if you think I'm gonna let you treat me like that, you're wrong. Everything you do has consequences. Never forget that."
Jordan's heart dropped. Something about the way Pi'erre said it, was freezing his blood. Not even because he was loud, Pi'erre had been completely calm and quiet when he spoke. It was the iciness and lack of emotion in his voice that made every hair on Jordan's arm stand up. After laying there tensely for an hour, he fell into a restless sleep.
When he woke up the next morning, Pi'erre had already left for work. Jordan was relieved about having some time alone. He really couldn't see Pi'erre at the moment. Whenever he did, it only reminded him of two nights ago and he felt like throwing up again.
Ian hadn't been gentle with him at all. Ever since he forced himself on him, Jordan didn't open his mouth and speak a word once because his throat still hurt and he didn't want to hear his own voice.
Everything about himself disgusted him. Jordan tried to avoid looking into any kind of mirror because he was sick of his own face. Changing his clothes or showering became something he hated because it meant he would have to see his own body that he grew to dislike so much.
The smallest tasks were now a challenge for him. Even something as simple as getting up in the morning. He used to be an early riser but today he woke up at 11 am and continued to stay in bed for more than three hours before he finally pulled himself together and went downstairs.
If he wouldn't have had to use the bathroom, Jordan probably would've stayed in bed all day because he had no motivation to leave it. For what?
Instead of eating a healthy breakfast, he just nibbled on a piece of plain bread for way too long while staring into a void. It wouldn't have made any difference if he would've skipped it. His weight was still very low for his height. It didn't help that he had no appetite most of the time and felt guilty whenever he ate something because of his eating disorder.
Unsurprisingly, his body was weak and he was having trouble to concentrate and think because of the lack of nutrition.
After finishing his breakfast at 3 pm, he smoked his first blunt of the day while doing a little walk around the block, trying to hide by pulling over a hood because he didn't want people to catch a glimpse of his ugly face. Jordan left his phone at home to charge because the battery was very low. He didn't expect to be out for long anyways.
Everyone was out with their friends and families since it was a bright sunny day and Jordan felt a lot of stares on himself. They were probably wondering why he was wearing a hoodie when it's 75 degrees or thinking he just robbed a bank.
When he passed a white mother with her little boy, she even dragged her son away from the suspicious looking teenager. "These god damn thugs ruining our city" she spat before switching to the other side of the street.
Jordan didn't blame her. He knew how miserable he looked. Suddenly he felt his heart beat going slower and slower. His vision turned blurry, everything sounded so far away and he felt extremely dizzy. The heat was getting to him. Paired with the fact he didn't drink any water today or really eat something, Jordan was about to pass out. Managing to take a seat on a bench, he closed his eyes and started seeing stars before he fainted.
He wasn't knocked out for long, maybe five minutes. But he wasn't able to stand up immediately after he gained consciousness again. Instead, Jordan layed down and tried to get his blood circulation back to normal. Since he was looking like either a homeless man or a drug addict, no one approached him or helped.
Jordan fell asleep in the sun. When he woke up, the sky had already turned dark. Panicking, he stood up hastily, which nearly made him fall, and tried to get back home as fast as possible. Pi'erre was probably already waiting for him and wondering where he was.
For some reason, he was feeling anxious. Jordan could tell something bad was about to happen and he had an uneasy feeling when he finally reached Pi'erre's house and saw him standing outside, talking to their neighbor Tyler.
Tyler and Pi'erre were good friends. They were about the same age and Tyler often ivited him and Jordan over for cookouts. Although he was a little bit loud and eccentric sometimes, Jordan liked Tyler. On the few occasions they talked alone, he always felt like Tyler was genuinely interested in how he was and not just asking out of politeness.
When Pi'erre spotted Jordan, he had a big smile plastered on his face. Something about it was off though. Jordan could tell he was angry because he knew him better than anyone else. Nonetheless, Pi'erre apparently didn't want to make a scene in front of his friend and pulled Jordan into a tight hug.
His arms slung around the younger ones thin frame, covered by his oversized hoodie, and Pi'erre planted a forceful kiss on Jordan's lips.
"I missed you, baby" he laughed and parted, only to leave his arm around Jordan's shoulder.
"You two have the cutest relationship ever. I want a nigga to love me like you love each other one day" Tyler said while staring at them dreamily.
Pi'erre laughed again and when Jordan felt his boyfriend glancing at him from the side and fingernails digging into his shoulder, he flashed a tired smile as well.
"How are you, lil bro?" Tyler asked and dapped him up.
"Good." Jordan's voice was quiet and hoarse from not speaking for nearly two days.
Tyler raised his eyebrow worriedly. "Sure? Because you-"
"He's just a little bit sick" Pi'erre interrupted. "I'm gonna make him some tea now, right baby?" he asked directed at Jordan, who nodded weakly.
"Oh. Well, get better soon, Jordan" Tyler ruffled his hair. "Aye, I'm not gonna hold you two back" he said and after him and Pi'erre exchanged a few more words, Tyler waved and left.
As soon as he was out of sight, Pi'erre's smile vanished and he let go of Jordan's shoulder. Instead, he grabbed the back of his hoodie and dragged him inside aggressively, nearly choking Jordan in the process.
The door got slammed and Pi'erre shoved him against the wall roughly.
"Where have you been?!" he yelled and banged his fist on a spot very close to Jordan's head, who was terrified and tried to cover his face with his shaking hands. "I went for a walk" he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Pi'erre grabbed his wrists firmly and pulled his hands away. He was raging. "I called you eight times. EIGHT FUCKING TIMES!"
Without warning, he sent a hard punch into the younger ones stomach. Jordan whimpered and crouched over in pain but he got yanked up by his hair again.
Jordan was tearing up. Not so much from being hit into his abdomen or being pulled by his dreads but more from being afraid of what was yet to come. He felt hot tears making their way down his face.
Pi'erre's eyes were dark and sparkling with anger. This was not the same man Jordan once fell in love with. He was staring into the eyes of a stranger.
"Why have a fucking phone if you don't even use it?" Pi'erre asked in a low voice and reached into his pocket to reveal Jordan's Iphone before he smashed it on the floor. When it hit the hard tiles, the glass shattered into a thousand little pieces, that flew everywhere.
Jordan bent down to collect the remains of his broken phone distraught, cutting himself and spilling a few drops of blood onto the ground but he didn't care. Desperately, he pressed the power button but no matter how hard he tried, the display stayed black.
"I wasn't allowed to leave the house anymore without asking him first." Jordan yawns.
He can't see that Symere is shaking his head horrified since he's laying in his lap with his eyes closed. Symere's hand caressing his hair is making him fall asleep slowly.
"Jordan, I should leave. It's nearly 3 am now." Symere says quietly and bites down on his lip when he thinks about how he has to be at work in five hours.
Jordan's eyes flutter open and he sits up. "Okay..." he mutters a little bit disappointed and stares at Symere's plump pink lip between his teeth hypnotized. He wants to kiss him so badly but after opening up to him about his feelings and being rejected, he doesn't know wether it would be right to do so.
Symere takes the decision off of him by leaning in and placing his soft lips on Jordan's for a few seconds. "Good night."
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In the morning, Symere calls his boss to tell him he's got a cold and can't come to work today. Because he stayed up the whole night, he's way too tired and needs a day off to catch up on sleep. He shoots Rakim a quick message as well and lays down but not even twenty minutes later, his doorbell rings.
"Hey" Symere fakes his best cough.
Rakim's eyes are full of concern. "How are you?" He embraces him gently.
It's sweet that his friend is so worried and even comes to visit him before heading to work but Symere is slightly annoyed because now he has to lie and put up an act although he's the worst when it comes to that.
"I'm okay" Symere assures him. "Just a little fever."
Rakim nods. "If you need anything, call me. I'll come back later and bring you some soup. You look like you need it." He leans against the doorframe and looks down at the smaller one sympathetically.
"Oh, wow, thank you" Symere says overwhelmed. "But you don't need to bring me soup, really. Isn't your date tonight?" he remembers and scratches his nose confused.
"Who cares? I cancelled it. You're more important right now." Rakim leans down and gives him a peck on the forehead. Had his lips stayed only a second longer, they would've felt how cold Symere's skin is. No sign of a fever whatsoever.
The smaller one blushes. Rakim has never been so touchy before. And the fact that he called off a date for him, makes him feel a little bit uneasy.
"See you later, Sy" Rakim coos.
If Symere would only know how much Rakim has to control himself right now from not lowering his eyes and staring at his tattoed naked chest.
As if he could read his thoughts, Symere suddenly looks down at his barely clothed body and gets embarrassed to be standing in the door half naked. Not because of Rakim, he doesn't care about his friend seeing him like that but some people passing on the street behind them are already staring.
"Bye!" Symere says fast and closes the door in front of the other ones nose.
Sighing, Rakim turns around and enters his car. He can't believe he still hasn't tried to make a move on Symere. It's not like he's shy usually.
Rakim knows he's good looking. There's no reason for him to feel insecure but somehow he can never get himself to ask Symere out. And he wants to do it since a while now.
Whenever he's on a date with someone, he always ends up wondering at some point how it would be if Symere was the one sitting across of him. The one laying underneath him and screaming his name.
It's embarrassing and Rakim would never admit it but one time he even dreamed about his friend and woke up with an erection. Like a horny teenager.
But honestly it's more than that. He can envision himself and Symere getting old together. They're best friends and although the little one can annoy the shit out of him sometimes, Rakim likes him more than anything else in this world.
No, he loves him.
From his cute nosepiercing to his big heart. Rakim loves everything about Symere. Even his stubbornness. Symere is perfect. And the fact he doesn't know it, makes him even more attractive.
When he called Tyler an hour ago to tell him he wasn't going to make it tonight, he didn't feel bad for one second. He doesn't even know why he accepted his invite in the first place. It was more out of boredom than anything. Tyler isn't his type anyways.
Rakim goes straight into his office, ignoring all the people that run up to him to ask him for something because it's too early in the morning for him to get bothered already. He's about to close the door behind himself when a tall man stops him by placing his foot inbetween.
"Are you Officer Mayers?" he asks. His voice is extremely deep.
"Yes, why?" Rakim wants to know confused because he doesn't remember having an appointment with someone and he's never seen this man before.
"Your colleague forgot this last night in Carter's cell." He hands him the camera.
Rakim takes it stunned. "Last night?" he repeats.
"Yes. He visited him and stayed for a few hours during my night shift. Whatever, I only wanted to bring him this before I drive home but apparently he's sick so they told me I should give it to you at the reception. Have a good day."
"Yeah, you too..." Rakim mutters, spinning the camera in his hands.
Why would Symere go visit Carter at night? Without telling him?
He closes the door and plumps into his executive chair. Contemplating to call Symere and ask him, his hand hovers over his phone for a second.
For some reason Symere has been acting suspicious lately whenever Rakim asked him about the camera and of course his friend noticed it. His gut feeling tells him to not call Symere.
Rakim opens the SD slot to take out the little chip and place it into his laptop. He plugs in his earphones and searches for the last recorded file. It's more than three hours long. Brows furrowed skeptically because he doesn't remember the interview with Carter being so long, he clicks on it hesitantly.
Instead of the familiar gray walls of the interrogation room he expected to see, he's met with a black screen and weird noises.
He is about to close the tab disappointed, thinking their camera maybe broke down, when suddenly a voice is audible. Rakim turns the volume up excitedly.
"I'm gonna leave you two alone now because I have to watch another inmate that's apparently trying to stab someone with a knife in block B. Should I put handcuffs on him?" a deep voice asks, that sounds far away from the microphone. It belongs to the man that just came here to drop the camera off, Rakim realizes.
He narrows his eyes in suspicion. Is he watching Symere's and Carter's conversation from last night?
"No."
That's definitely Symere. Rakim would always recognize his raspy voice and it's way louder than the other mans. For a few seconds all he hears and sees is the weird rustling noise and the black screen again.
"I honestly didn't expect you to come" someone laughs. Sounds like Carter.
"Me neither."
Suddenly the screen shakes, it gets lighter and the frowning face of Carter appears in front of the camera. Now Rakim gets why it was black the whole time and he heard those noises. The camera was inside of Symere's pocket apparently.
"Wait no." Rakim watches how Carter leaps forward and the camera gets turned upside so all he sees now is the dimly lit ceiling.
"Don't turn it on."
"But I have to record it!" he hears Symere protest.
Could it be that Symere recorded on accident the whole time? It would explain the poor filming quality.
The camera falls down. Rakim is back to watching a black screen again but he's still hearing their voices clearly. He leans closer to the screen in anticipation.
"You want to film this?"
"No"
Heavy breathing.
"You like that?"
Light moans. Symere's moans.
Rakim doesn't even notice how his hand is moving up to his face and covering his mouth in shock now.
"Why do you always have to destroy the moment?"
"I didn't come here for this. You wanted to talk, I'm listening."
"Damn, Symere. You're boring as fuck."
"You made me come all the way for nothing?!" Symere's voice is growing louder and he has to lower his volume a little bit. He pauses the tape.
A nauseous feeling takes over him. Not even sure wether he wants to continue, Rakim skips to the middle because there's no way he's going to listen to three hours of this. He presses play.
"Fuck me"
Did he hear that right?
He prays he's wrong but his eyes only grow wider and wider during the following minutes. With every second passing, his heart breaks a little bit more.
"You're not telling anyone about this, promise?"
Skip. Sounds of skin clapping against each other, dirty talk and moans again. Lots of them.
He can't take any more of this. Rakim rips the earphones away. His finger is shaking so hard that he misses the small red x in the top right corner a few times before he finally manages to close the tab.