The bright shine of the cameras and show lighting surrounded you, bleeding even though the thick curtain hanging between you and the stage. You exhaled slowly, shaking out your hands with nervous energy--but it was no help to relive your stress.
You'd always hated giving speeches. You really couldn't think of anything you dreaded doing more than being on television--broadcasted in front of millions of judging eyes, just waiting for you to make the smallest slip up. Then they'd plaster your face on the front of every newspaper, every tabloid--the headlines mocking you with relentless insults.
It almost made you nauseated, thinking about having to put on that fake, trained smile and walking out to the podium, saying your speech without tripping over any syllables. Making no mistakes. Being robotic, not human. They never wanted you to seem human--because then you looked weak.
You were lost in thought, your stomach churning painfully as you suddenly heard footsteps approaching behind you, stopping at your heels. You spun around, dreadingly expecting your mother or father. But to your surprise--and relief--neither of them met your gaze, but Kylo, towering over your head as he stared down at you. His hair was combed back carefully, not a strand out of place, and he was dressed in a perfectly-fitted suit, a red tie standing out on his chest. He eyed you blankly, his expression not revealing any sort of emotion, and you heard him exhale softly.
"Hi," You muttered, flashing him a weak smile. He didn't smile back.
"Are you ready?" He asked simply, choosing not to reply to your greeting as he slid his hands into his pockets. You gulped, your stomach twisting again.
"No," You said, your voice threaded with barely-veiled anxiety. "Not at all."
"Well we're on in five minutes," He mumbled, pulling his hand back out of his pocket and bringing a folded piece of paper with it. He untucked the corners, flattening the note between his fingers as his eyes scanned quickly over the words scribbled on the surface. "Be ready by then."
You furrowed your brows as he pushed past you, wondering why he was still acting so off. Was he still mad at you? You'd thought that he was over the whole Alex thing. He'd said it himself. You'd made up. But he was still acting distant. Cold. It was like he was a whole different person than the man you'd met that night in the dining hall--like a flip had switched and a new side of him had been revealed. And so far, you weren't too big of a fan of this new attitude.
But regardless of how he was acting, you were at least glad that there'd be someone else on the stage with you. Usually you were alone, and it was a big relief when you'd been told that you'd be speaking together, as a "new couple" being presented to the people. Whether there was any real truth to that statement, you weren't sure.
But today would be the day that your two peoples would learn of your future marriage, and the uniting of your two kingdoms as partners, not enemies. You weren't sure how the public was going to take it. It had been this way for decades--the constant fear dwelling in the back of everyone's minds that at any moment, war might break out over the galaxy in the blink of an eye. You guessed that most would be happy to hear that peace would finally be secured, but something told you that not everyone would trust the First Order's intentions--and you weren't necessarily sure that you did either.
But you shook your head, sighing again as you fixed the fabric over your figure, the deep red color cascading down your frame. The dress was tight against your skin, fitted to the curves in your body and trailing down to the floor. A slit was cut up your leg, revealing your bare skin and stopping below your waist. You'd thought it was too much, but you didn't have much of a say as your mother hissed at you to get dressed, practically forcing you into it and tightening the corset around your midriff. Your hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the back of your head, a white-jeweled crown digging into your scalp.
You shifted uncomfortably, your heels way too high and making the balls of your feet begin to cramp. It was almost time now. You could hear the production crew shuffling behind the curtain, shouting orders and directions as more lights clicked on, preparing for the broadcast. Your stomach did another flip as you suddenly felt someone approach by your side, their shadow casting over you. You quickly realized it was Kylo again, glancing sideways at him and gulping. He didn't look down at you, but you watched as his chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm, his expression appearing to be completely calm. You wondered if, deep down, he was just as nervous as you were. But you doubted it. He seemed like he would be a natural at these things. Whenever he spoke, people listened. His physique itself demanded attention, drawing recognition even with the slightest flick of his wrist. He was born for this life--unlike you, who struggled to meet any sort of expectation. It was almost unfair, how aggravatingly perfect he was. You rolled your eyes, scoffing.
"What?" He muttered, finally looking down in your direction.
"Nothing." You shook your head, staring at the velvet curtain in front of you.
"Tell me." He pushed, shifting closer to your side.
"How does this not freak you out?" You whispered, "I don't understand how you can be so calm about this."
"I never said I was calm." He responded, folding his hands in front of his waist. "I'm just a good actor."
"You're not that good." You muttered, your eyes thinned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
You heard the producer on the other side of the stage, yelling orders and directions as the timer clicked down. You guessed that there was only about a minute now.
"You're not good at hiding when you're angry." You said quietly, getting ready for the moment when the curtain would raise.
"You think I'm angry?" He looked down at you again, but you kept your gaze in front of you, readying your fake smile for the cameras. "Angry at what--you?"
"Yes," You hissed, wishing that he would stop talking. It was almost time. "We can talk about this later."
"No I want to talk about it now," He pressed on, leaning closer to you. But just as he did, you heard the producer start to count down from ten, your heart beginning to slam. You swatted Kylo away, shushing him and plastering your forced smile across your lips, taking in a shaky, deep breath. You heard him grumble defeatedly next to you, watching as he straightened his spine out of the corner of your eye. He adjusted his tie, clearing his throat before standing perfectly straight, his hands in fists by his sides.
"Five, four, three," Your breath caught in your throat, "two...one!" The producer's voice stopped, the bottom of the curtain slowly beginning to lift off the ground. You felt your heart skip a beat as bright light shined in from the stage, the sight of what seemed like a hundred cameras meeting your gaze as the divider lifted all the way, exposing you to the eyes of millions. You tried to control the shivers coursing through your limbs, but you were sure that some people noticed your trembling hands as you and Kylo walked up to the podium at the front of the platform, stopping behind the tall wooden stand. Your body was largely hidden behind it, only the top part of your waist visible to the cameras. It was big enough for two people to stand between its sides, wooden walls confining you and hiding the lower half of your bodies.
You could barely process the mumbling of the announcer as he read out both of your full names and titles, bowing towards the two of you. You were snapped out of your daze as Kylo flicked your side, motioning for you to bow back--which you did, after a few seconds of awkward delay. The announcer then stepped off the stage, silence falling over the room as they waited for one of you to speak. Kylo's speech was first--to your relief.
"The day has finally come," He began, his voice steady and calm, no hint of nervousness in his tone, "That we put aside our differences. That we let go of the assumption that the other is the enemy. That we unite as one for the good of both of our peoples and for the preservation of peace." You could hear quiet murmurs from the camera crew, watching you with wide eyes. "As the heir to the throne, I know and have always known that my first and most important duty is to my kingdom--above any and all else." You gulped. "And I know that the best way I can serve my people is to finally usher in an era of peace and stability that has been long overdue." Your stomach was churning painfully again. For some reason, knowing what he was about to say made you feel sick. It was strange--you'd known this was coming for weeks. You'd known that eventually you'd have to announce it to the public. But telling everyone suddenly made everything feel so much more real. So much more inevitable. More inescapable. You shivered. "And that is why our families have come to an agreement," He glanced toward you, a fake smile plastered across his face. You weren't smiling anymore, but you felt like you were turning green. "That we will be married--an action which will unite our two kingdoms in a peaceful alliance. The threat of war will be but a distant memory."
As he spoke, you heard the camera crew erupt in thunderous applause, hollers and cries of happiness echoing through the room. Kylo stood next to you, still beaming in a way that you knew wasn't genuine, but you couldn't even bring yourself to force it. Your lips were pulled into a thin, straight line, all the color having drained from your face, leaving a pale, ghostlike expression behind. He eyed you as the celebration continued, a concerned look flashing over his face.
"Hey," He whispered, his hand floating to the small of your back. "What's wrong?" You stared up at him with glassy eyes, struggling to focus on his complexion. The sound in your ears had started to reduce to a loud ringing, all the voices blurring together, and you could feel your legs wobbling underneath you.
"I--" You stuttered, your mind clouded with panic and confusion, words refusing to form in your brain. You just stared at him, your expression flashing with anxiety as your mouth hung open wordlessly. His eyes flicked over you, his hand still holding you steady, before he returned his gaze to the cameras, taking in a deep breath.
"There's only a minute left until commercial," He whispered out of the side of his mouth, "Try to hold it together until then." You nodded weakly, the bright lights blurring your vision. You were grateful that the cheering had drowned out your conversation, but you were sure that people watching had noticed the slip in your facade. You felt like you were about to throw up, tightness building in your stomach. Kylo said a few more words, but you weren't listening. All you could do was think about what people would be saying about you after this was over, and you were sure none of it would be good.
"That's commercial!" The producer finally called, clapping his hands, "Five minutes until we're live again." As soon as the cameras switched off, Kylo turned to you, gripping your shoulders tightly.
"What's going on?" He said, his eyes washing over your pale face, "Are you about to be sick?"
"Maybe--" You choked, swallowing the bile burning at the back of your throat.
"Do you want me to get you some water?" He let go of your shoulders, turning to leave before you responded, but you stopped him, pulling him back towards you.
"No, I'll be fine." You shook your head, rubbing at your temples, "For some reason announcing it is just freaked me out."
"But you've known this was coming for weeks." He said, leaning against the podium.
"I know." You muttered, "But really doing it just felt way too...I don't know--real. I guess up to this point I tried to convince myself that maybe it wasn't actually happening." Kylo furrowed his brows as you spoke, his mouth pulling into a frown.
"Wait--" He scoffed quietly, "Do you still not want to do this?" You paused, considering your words.
"I mean, If I had a choice...I wouldn't do it." He scoffed again, looking wounded as he ran a hand through his hair.
"But I thought that if I--If we," He stopped, shaking his head. "I thought that if we got to know each other you would be okay with it."
"But that's the thing," You protested, "I don't know you. And you don't know me. Not yet at least." He stared at you, his eyes thinning as he stepped back, his hands sliding into his pockets. He was silent for a moment, watching you, before he finally spoke again, his tone having shifted to a cold, low timbre.
"You're right," He hissed in a whisper, "You don't know me at all."
"Kylo--" You reached for his arm, but before you could, he turned away, stomping towards the back of the stage and disappearing behind one of the wings. You sighed, turning back to the podium as you watched the production crew start to get back into position, the one minute countdown beginning again. You straightened your dress, feeling some of the color flush back into your face as you regained control over your body, the panic passing. It was your turn to speak, and you were sick of messing up. You wouldn't let yourself this time.
"30, 29, 28..." The countdown continued as you heard heavy footsteps approach behind you, Kylo suddenly reappearing by your side with a blank expression. He adjusted his suit, clearing his throat and fixing his hair before he glanced down at you, his eyes still thinned. Slowly, he leaned down to beside your ear, his warm breath tickling against your skin as he spoke.
"You were right before," He whispered, "I am mad at you, and there will be consequences for your actions." You shivered, your breath stalling.
"What kind of consequences?" But Kylo didn't respond, instead straightening his spine and looking straight towards the cameras, his expression stern and solemn. You frowned. But you couldn't dwell on it for long, the countdown reaching "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..." The cameras clicked back on, the intro music swelling as the lenses focused on your face. You took in a slow, calming breath, smiling towards them and preparing your speech in your mind. Don't mess up, you repeated to yourself, praying that if you said it enough times it might come true.
"Peace has been deprived from the galaxy for far too long." You began, your voice echoing through the studio. "And I am so proud to be a part of the road to change." You paused, breathing deeply. "The Kingdoms of the Resistance and the First Order will enter into an all--" You stopped mid-word, nearly forgetting how to breathe.
There was a hand on your thigh. Kylo's hand--digging tightly into the fabric of your gown. You stalled, staring blankly into the cameras as your heart began to slam. What the fuck was he doing? You cleared your throat, trying to slap him away with a flick of your wrist, but he ignored you, gripping tighter. "Sorry--The Kingdoms of the First Order and the Resistance will enter into an alliance, therefore ending the decades of unrest between our two peoples. It is our hope tha--" You stopped again, sucking in a quick, terrified breath as Kylo's hand suddenly slipped underneath the fabric through the slit over your leg, his fingers tracing over your bare skin. Your hands started to tremble, your stomach dropping to the ground. He wasn't really about to do what you thought he was about to do...was he? You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, trying to send him a silent signal to please stop. But he refused to look at you, staring towards the cameras as if nothing was happening, his hands hidden below the podium.
This was the consequence he was talking about. You suddenly felt nauseated again.
"It is our hope that with time, our two peoples can come together as one, and that there will be no more animosity between our populations." You sighed, happy to get a sentence out without him interrupting you, but just as you did, his hand began to move higher, his digits teasing against the inside of your thigh. You sucked in a breath through gritted teeth, fighting the heat beginning to spark between your legs. "We don't expect for it to be an easy transition. We've spent decades with the assumption that the other was the enemy--that they were to be conquered." With a horrible realization, your remembered that you weren't wearing any underwear--it would have shown through the form-fitting dress. You gulped, trying your hardest to seem unphased. But you could feel your body starting to respond to his touch, your legs beginning to shake.
Your heart slamming, he slowly dragged a single finger over your mound, sending a strong shiver through you as you stuttered, smiling awkwardly towards the camera. This wasn't actually happening. There was no way. You tightened your jaw, your breath hitching as you exhaled.
"But from now on," Your voice came out less confident--shaky actually, your tone trembling, "We will be working towards an alliance that should benefit both of our kingdoms in--" His digit lowered, ghosting over your clit. You shuddered, warmth seeping up through your core as your nerves danced at his touch. "--g--great ways." You could see the camera crew casting confused looks between each other, shaking their heads as they watched you stutter.
"Both our families believe that this will be a great m--oh--move for both of our peoples," You winced, your face burning bright red as a quiet moan spilled from your lips, Kylo's finger beginning to rub tight circles around your clit, his digit moving down and tracing through your folds. You shivered again, desperately praying that it wasn't too noticeable through the TV screens. "And will hopefully help to usher in an even more successful future." You smiled brightly at the cameras, trying to mask your sheer horror at the fact that Kylo's fingers were now teasing at your entrance, threatening to slip into you with every passing second. But he paused, as if he was waiting for you to speak again so that he could throw you off focus. You gulped, dreading what you had to say next.
"Thank you," You sighed, finishing your speech, "Are there any questions?" As soon as you spoke, Kylo drove his digit into your core, and you had to bite your tongue until it bled to choke back the loud moan trapped in your throat. Your legs were shaking violently underneath you, but thankfully, were hidden behind the podium, away from the prying eyes of everyone watching you crash and burn on live television. The press sitting in front of the camera crew exploded all at once, standing and shouting unidentifiable words and questions towards you, their mics pointed towards you as they fought for your attention.
Your body felt like it was overheating, your senses exploding all at once. Kylo's digits were pumping in and out of you as you struggled for steady breath, gripping tightly at the podium with white knuckles. You wanted to scream--or moan, or maybe a mixture of both. You couldn't decide, but you knew that you couldn't do this for much longer.
You realized after a few moments that you'd neglected to chose a reporter, your mind fogged with anger, lust, pleasure, and a million other emotions you couldn't discern. You pointed frantically towards one, not bothering to even look at their face as you haunched over the stand. You were leaning weakly against the podium now, your legs having turned to jello underneath you. You heard Kylo snicker under his breath.
Fuck, you really wanted to cuss him out right now. But you also wanted to hold him against your body, to feel him inside of you, to run your hands along his muscular frame, to feel his plush lips pressed against yours...stop. You ordered yourself, shaking your head as you choked back another moan and smiled towards the reporter.
"When is the wedding taking place?" She asked, her face round and pale. She looked young, smiling up at you with wide, innocent eyes. For a split second you caught yourself wondering if she believed the fantasy. The one that everyone always asked you about. That your life as a princess was perfect. That you had everything you'd ever wanted. That it was magical. That you were living a dream. That you'd found your prince charming without even having to try. But you were ripped back into reality as Kylo drove into you again, slipping another finger into your cunt. You coughed to cover up your choked-moan, leaning harder onto the podium and gripping even tighter to the edges.
"In about two months--" You struggled to spit out, a tight ball forming in your stomach as you felt your climax approaching. She nodded, sitting back down with a cheery expression on her face. As soon as she did, more questions exploded, and this time, Kylo pointed towards a taller man sitting close to the stage. You were relieved--maybe you wouldn't have to talk for a little bit.
"I have a question for the princess," The man called, your heart dropping. Awesome. "Forgive me my lady, but do you really expect for us to suddenly trust the First Order and their intentions? We've been enemies for decades. How are we supposed to just flip the switch and forget all of that history?"
You chewed the inside of your lip, wincing as a wave of pleasure surged through you, threatening to let a whimper escape past your lips. Kylo's digits twisted inside of you, filling you as your walls clenched around him, your body tilting on the edge of your climax. You were fighting it with every ounce of power left in you, your hands aching from how tightly you were gripping the stand.
"Like I s--said before," You sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth, "I realize that the trans--sition will not be easy. Or simple. But I hope that with t--time, ugh, it will feel more natural."
"Are you alright, my lady?" The reporter stared at you concernedly, his brows furrowed.
"Yes, fine." You shook your head, the moan in your throat crying to be released, "But to finish answering your question--fuck..." You cursed underneath your breath as Kylo's digits slid even deeper, praying that the mics didn't pick it up. But by the confused looks on the reporters faces, you guessed that they had. Shit. Against your best judgement, you kept going, drawing in a shaky breath, "Unfortunately, all we can do is trust that their intentions are pure, like ours are. But I'm sure that Kylo R--ren could better reassure you that there is no danger." You glanced over at him, your eyes thinned into slits. He didn't look at you, instead smiling towards the reporter as if his fingers weren't knuckle deep in your cunt.
"Of course I can't convince you to believe that we only have good intentions, but I can give you my word that all my family and I want is for peace to finally be brought to the galaxy. It's been long overdue, and I can assure you that you aren't the only ones that are sick of it." Somehow, he continued to pump his digits in and out of you as he spoke, not missing a beat. You wanted so badly to roll your eyes. The reporter smiled at him, nodding and sitting back down as he muttered a quiet thank you.
You were praying for it to all be over. For the cameras to shut off. For the reporters to leave. For the camera crew to disappear. So that you could slap Kylo across the face and scream at him for what he was doing to you...right after he finished you off. But you assumed that there were only a few minutes of the broadcast left. Then you'd be free of the prying eyes, watching you squirm underneath the podium as your climax threatened to crash over you. Waves of pleasure were washing through you, your limbs shaking as your eyes tried to roll back in your head.
You couldn't fight it for much longer, your fingers curling as Kylo called on yet another reporter, smirking horribly. He was loving watching you struggle. You wanted to kill him. You didn't even hear what the man asked, his voice a dull murmur in your ear as you focused your gaze on the podium, holding off your orgasm as long as you could. But you were shuddering, choking as you held back all the sounds begging to spill from your lips.
But suddenly Kylo's digits slid in even deeper, his thumb somehow twisting to return to your clit, your nerves nearly exploding under his touch. With that, you couldn't fight it anymore, and you snapped like a twig, your climax tearing through you as you clung to the stand, your body going limp. You whimpered as quietly as you could, feeling your core surge with pleasure as the bliss seeped through your bloodstream, spreading through your chest and into every crack and crevice in you. You could hear the reporters whispering with concern. You were sure to them, it looked like you were in some sort of pain. Horrible pain, from the way you were crying. The last thing they would expect to be going on was what was actually happening.
Kylo continued to work his digits through your folds, huffing quietly as he continued to circle around your clit, the nerves raw and aching. You shifted away from his hand, groaning quietly, and he finally relented, his fingers slipping out from under your dress and back into his pocket, as if it had never happened. You stared at him out of half-lidded eyes, heaving exhaustedly.
"Miss," One of the reporters spoke up, "are you sure you're alright?" You glanced towards him, the end of your climax still rushing through you as you caught your breath. You nodded slowly, standing back up straight and clearing your throat. You could feel your cheeks burning as you slowly noticed that the cameras had cut off--at what point, you weren't sure. But the quiet buzz of recording was gone, awkward silence having fallen over the room like a thick fog.
"Yes, I'm sorry," You shook your head, "I'm just a little nauseated."
"Do you want me to call a nurse?" The reporter scrambled for the phone hanging on the wall, but you interrupted.
"No, no," You assured him, "I'm alright. Thank you, though." He was still staring at you with concern, but nodded, giving up. You paused, staring over the room and watching as the small crowd peered at you with confusion and concern. "Thank you all for coming," You said as if everything had gone completely normally. "The palace guards will escort you back to the courtyard when you're ready."
With that, you tore away from the podium, leaving Kylo behind as you stomped backstage, your head fuzzed with a million different thoughts and emotions. But the strongest ones, anger and pure humiliation, overtook the rest, your blood boiling in your veins. You wanted to scream at him. To land a punch straight to his perfect, stupid fucking face. He was an emotionally unstable, insufferable asshole--and you wanted to tell him exactly that. But as a hand wrapped around your arm from behind you, spinning you back around, your gaze fell on his face once more--and for a split second all of your anger dissipated. That was just the effect he had. But it faded quickly, the fury returning as you seethed at him, ripping away your arm.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You hissed, your voice cracking.
"I told you there'd be consequences." He said dryly, his face blank.
"You humiliated me on live television--in literally the worst way I can think of. Why--I don't understand how you would think that that was okay." Your face was twisted with humiliation, your chest heaving.
"I didn't say I thought it way okay. That's the point. I said it was a consequence for your actions."
"Look," You shook your head, rubbing your temples, "I'm really, really sorry that I was still sleeping with Alex. I really am. I shouldn't have done it, and I've apologized lots of times. But he was in my life long before you were and you have to understand that I couldn't just cut him off. He meant something to me for a long time. That doesn't excuse my actions, I know. But if this is something you're not going to be able to get over, you need to tell me now." He paused, staring down at you with thinned eyes as he considered your words in silence. But slowly, he let out a loud sigh, running his hand through his hair. You winced, wondering if that was the hand he'd used on you.
"Fine." He snapped, his jaw tightening, "I--I'm sorry." It sounded like saying the words physically pained him, his shoulders tensing as he spoke. "I'll try to forget about it."
"Thank you," You sighed, feeling some of the anger dissipate as you stared down at the ground. You paused, standing in silence for a few moments before you looked back up at him, meeting his gaze. "You're an asshole sometimes, you know." He smirked, scoffing softly.
"Oh, I know."