with a shiver, suga woke up, tooru's arms protectively wrapped around him. he blinked multiple times, it was late evening or maybe just evening, it was winter so he really didn't know, but it was almost dark outside and the alarm was son the other side, he didn't really feel like waking tooru up though, so he let it be.
as he slightly moved he immediately froze.
morning boner.
or afternoon boner? evening? whatever.
fuck.
he squeezed his eyes shut, but that only made him remember his dream, hot kisses, wet tongues intertwined, his fingers curled up into brown hair, fingers sliding up his- wait.
wait wait wait wait
brown hair?
BROWN HAIR?
he almost let out a frustrated groan, but held back as tooru, the person he just had a very.. sexual dream about, was still asleep. and he most certainly didn't feel like waking him especially because he'd probably feel his boner, since their legs were intertwined.
he realized there wasn't any escape out of this.
he wasn't gonna be able to get out of tooru's grip without probably waking him, because he didn't know how deep his sleep was and that meant he couldn't just.. do the obvious solution.
that also wrote out showering with cold water and because he was in his arms, he wasn't gonna be able to get his mind of as well.
ten minutes later and koushi hadn't moved an inch so he had to do something.
veeeery carefully he tried getting at least one of tooru's arms away, but turns out, he was either a very light sleeper or was on the verge of waking up anyways.
"morning, my prince"
goosebumps spread over his neck and he realized he could feel his breath on his lips
"sorry, did i wake you?"
koushi definitely hadn't anticipated it, but his voice sounded a little squeaky
"no, all good, sweetheart... sorry, i was supposed to wake you, but i guess i fell asleep."
"it's okay.. don't worry... just that my sleeping schedule is messed up now i guess"
"i didn't have one in the first place... oh, sorry, should i-"
he shifted and koushi's eyes went wide and he swallowed to keep quiet.
of course he had to brush against his erection with his leg.
of fucking course.
to his luck.. or not? oikawa seemed to realize what was going on, because a wide smirk appeared on his face.
"shut up..."
"i didn't say anything, baby..."
"stoop"
he burried his face into the crook of tooru's neck in an attempt to hide his blush that started creeping down his neck.
"want help with that?"
"...maybe"
tooru smirked, taking full advantage of the situation and letting his hand run over the others back who started biting down on his lip.
in his head, tooru reminded himself how incredibly inexperienced suga was and decided to take it slow.
"maybe isn't a direct answer"
he kissed his exposed shoulder
"you gotta be more specific."
"yes... please"
"mhhh look me in the eyes and i'll think about it"
slowly, koushi pressed himself up with his arms, his hair dangling slightly in the others face
"tooru,,,,"
he started and had to break eye contact for a while, mentally, tooru noted that he was very close to overstepping the line of flustered to uncomfortable.
"please"
eye contact again and shivers down his spine
mental addition to said note: he was very close to overstepping the line of giving and getting a boner himself.
"good boy"
he commented and with a little complication got rid of his own hoodie that suga had worn while asleep, before his hand made the elastic of both his shorts and boxers snap against his skin, making suga shiver.
"tell me to stop, when it's too much, yeah?"
"promise."
"okay, baby"
suga sat up a little, making it easy for tooru to peel off his shorts, at least to his bend knees.
"have you been waiting for this?"
his voice had that erotic undertone again and his face was positioned perfectly for suga to either look directly at him, or away.
"a little..."
"a little?"
tooru's hand stroked over his boner, applying light pressure, making him squirm.
"doesn't seem like a little in your pants"
"... a little much"
"figured... sooo should i go on?"
"...mhm"
"what was that? didn't catch it"
"tooru... please i just- please get to the point"
"of course of course"
one last time, tooru stroked over it through the fabric, before pulling it out of his boxers and then pulling them down a little to avoid an uncomfortable feeling.
suga hissed as tooru's fingers he had fantasized about so often wrapped around his length and tooru smirked, not breaking eye contact once as he gently started going up and down, fixated on his facial expression.
"you're so pretty"
he whispered and koushi had to look away again
"you're so pretty and so good..."
with anyone else, he would've dropped the l word now, since as known, it doesn't really count during sex. just sets the mood. said it countless of times and never meant it once, not really at least.
but this was suga and as established he had a crush on him and that made everything a little twisted, also suga wasn't like him and he kept having to remember that this was all new for him so it'd probably just make it weird if he said it.
tooru went a little faster, yet careful not to completely overwhelm him. nonetheless, koushi's arms dared to give in, which he noticed and decided to flip them over, suga now leaned against a pillow that tooru had quickly shoved there, still half laying down while tooru was leaned onto him, kissing down his neck, still lazily stroking with his left hand.
gently, he kissed down a little, his saliva connecting him with koushi's skin, whenever he parted a bit to either look up or kiss even further down.
the kisses set butterflies into his stomach and felt so hot in his skin, completely driving him insane.
finally, tooru had kissed to just above his chest and was almost a little hesitant before he let his tongue trace over his nipple.
the sound that escaped suga's mouth made his blood boil. softly, his lips lips planted a light kiss on it, before beginning to suck again, in which koushi responded with arching his back a little, almost unnoticeable, if oikawa wouldnt have been hyper aware of every little sound that escaped his lips and any trace of a movement that was captured by his gaze.
tooru moved his right hand a little higher, to stroke through his hair and watched small sweat pearls on his forehead, smiling to himself. he was so utterly gorgeous, even with a pleading look on his face.
while it was hard to do, tooru's hand still went painfully slow, but he knew that. he was just waiting for koushi to get desperate enough to comment on it, because as much as he wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible, he really liked his begging too.
and as he went even slower, even if he was still sucking hickeys onto his chest, biting slightly at points, making suga moan lightly, he really couldn't take it anymore.
"tooru..."
it was pretty obvious that he purposely tried speaking hyper clearly, to avoid moaning louder then he already was
"can you- g-go faster?"
he looked down a little to find his eyes
"please"
"mhhh i don't know, can i?"
tooru hummed against his chest.
"you're- doing it on purpose right?"
and while koushi really didn't want to give him what he wanted, he was also really damn eager and if tooru would speed up his pace, he'd probably start fucking into his hand.
"fuck i- please, tooru just... please. please... go faster at least a little... ple- ahh~~"
his attempt at speaking clearly had already failed after two words and when tooru actually did go faster, any sense of control over it had been lost.
oikawa felt a rush of power all the way to his finger tips at the sense of control he had, watching suga lean his head back, eyes closed. he drowned in his beautiful face and that lewd expression on it made tingles appear in his stomach.
"you are so beautiful, angel... a literal perfection... so beautiful"
he kissed along his neck again.
"and you are so obeying... i really can't get enough of you and i still dream of your tongue around my cock..."
gently he tucked at his hair and the muscles in koushi's legs tensed up while tooru licked over his neck.
"you're so beautiful.. so hot and yet so beautiful.."
"fuck, tooru"
is all koushi could gasp out and oikawa was sure he'd never get tired of hearing his name being spoken like that from no other than sugawara koushi.
"mhm you're so good baby"
"faster- i- tooru please please go faster"
for a while, tooru teased, enjoying suga whining under him as he got slower and stroked away the precum that was now running down his knuckles and fuck, suga really wished he could've looked away, but the scenery was just so arousing, it made his dick twitch in the others hand.
"you're lucky you've been good, koushi"
and oh, he was glad when tooru finally started going faster again, making him moan deep in pleasure while his hands found their way into his hair and tooru grinned.
koushi didn't even spend a thought on the fact that tooru knew exactly what he was doing all he knew was it felt damn good.
"nghhh~ tooru~"
his breathing was sped up and his fingers tensed up in his hair
"fuck"
tooru had imagined this before, how suga would sound when he got him off in one way or another, but this was so much better.
he was just so vocal and it sent electric shocks down tooru's body when he whines as a response to being teased and it robbed his heart when he started purring at his touch, making tooru forget that his hand had started hurting five minutes ago.
he drew shapes onto his exposed chest and koushi hummed his name while letting his head press into the pillow.
he felt so overwhelmed, but it felt so good.
god, it felt so good and it showed.
the slight kicking of his legs, the way his hands were buried into into his hair and his moans were filling the room.
"you're so cute"
tooru kissed his cheek and went a little slower again, being able to tell how close koushi probably was by the look in his eyes, overdriven with lust.
"tooru"
it was almost a whisper, but music to tooru's ears, made him smirk and go fast, before slowing down twice as much as before.
"tooru please..."
koushi looked at him and he could see tears of being so overly overwhelmed in the corners of his eyes
"please let me- p-please"
he swallowed
"ah~ please please i- nghh please ,tooru please... pleaaaaase"
his voice was full of desperation, a mixture of moaning and whining, but tooru slowed down again which is when koushi did in fact start bulging his hips and started lightly thrusting into his hand.
and fuck, that was hot.
the way koushi was so on edge, almost unable to move faster then tooru had been stroking.
his vision blurry, heavy swallows.
"please"
it was almost a cry and, because tooru was a nice man and almost felt bad for him, he stopped the teasing and started speeding up to a more fitting amount, watching as suga's eyes rolled back, hand deep in his hair again, before going down to his neck, leaving behind soft scratched onto his skin.
"t-thank you"
koushi stuttered our and although it was somehow appropriate for him to say that it hit tooru hard and he had to be careful not to overstep the line of getting a boner himself, because that would make him wanna go further, which was indeed not appropriate.
he'd just have to burn this into his mind and think about it again later.
"finally want release?"
tooru's voice was sweet as if he hadn't edged him twice now, yet he slowed down again, almost scared that he had pushed too far already, but to his luck, he didn't.
"please.. oh fuck, please, tooru"
one of suga's hands had found its way to hold tooru's who gladly intertwined their fingers, feeling the consistent squeezing, before relaxing again as he either went faster or slower.
"please"
koushi repeated, every syllable being clear on his mouth and because the slight fear of overstepping the line, this time between frustration and loss of arousal, he decided the teasing was enough.
"good boy"
he whispered into his ear, yet had to hiss at how subconsciously, suga's nails dug into his skin, but he loved it.
his hand was going as fast as he could, still careful not to let it slip from the precum he had been leaking, koushi's gasps and moans were directly next to his ear, getting more and more deeper and they felt so lewd and hot and overwhelming, even to oikawa, because it was koushi who was making them.
when suga bit his teeth together, tooru knew he was about to release and it was really hard to hold back from blue balling him again, but he couldn't do that to him or well... didn't want to, he wanted to hear his sweet sounds until the end and it was so worth it.
koushi came heavy, half onto tooru's hand and half onto his stomach that was covered with about 20 very thought out hickeys, he was shaking and the way he cried out his name, had definitely made tooru's dick twitch, but he was pretty good at avoiding unwanted erections unless he already had one.
very gently and slow, tooru stroked over him a few more times to seal the deal and then kissed suga's forehead, who was heavily panting.
"you did so well, baby"
he waited until suga opened his eyes again to lick away the white-ish cum off his hand, while holding direct eye contact, before diving down with his head and letting his tongue go over parts of his stomach with the same purpose.
suga's breath had calmed down, but inside he was a mess.
"did you like it?"
shortly, oikawa crawled onto him and kissed his cheek, before standing up and going through his drawer where he assumed underwear would be, and he was right.
"mhm"
was all suga commented and his mind couldn't make any other steady thought while tooru switched his boxers, making sure not to touch too much of his skin during it, since he was still sensitive.
"i'm glad"
tooru kissed his cheek again and wrapped his arms around his waist.
"it was... really good"
suga struggled to find words, but oikawa just chuckled and nodded.
"i gave my best"
"mhhhhm"
"tired again?"
"not really.... exhausted. not tired"
"wanna try standing up?"
"nooooooooooo..... kind of.... maybe... but cuddling first"
he rolled onto him and tooru kissed his nose
"i think you're both exhausted and tired, baby... it's okay.... you can sleep. i'll keep watch this time. i promise."
"okay....."
suga looked into his eyes, for a moment his exhaustion felt wiped away and very softly he kissed onto his lips.
it was short and it was hardly even physically touching at all, but mentally, it absolutely made tooru fall apart.
immediately after, koushi's head was on his chest again, eyes closed and a deep blush, listening to tooru's incredibly fast heart beat.
now what the hell was he gonna do?
this was all so weirdly new.
when he had liked hajime, it was from the very moment he found out he was gay. sure, it was a little weird at first, but they were best friends. he knew him. knew his face and every aspect of his personality.
hajime was easy to love.
and apparently easy to unlove, which honestly made tooru think if he actually really loved him.
maybe it had been the fear of letting go and the thrill of a crush.
but that didn't matter now.
because now it was suga.
and it was so different.
light snoring sounds told tooru that his crush had fallen asleep and he started tracing his fingers over his neck, down to his back, before going up again, repeating the motions
suga was so... so different.
he really did curse himself for not just inviting him for a date when he saw him at that stupid party, but that's when he still liked hajime... or was under the impression that he did that.
thinking back of it, his mind had never only drifted off to sexual thoughts about the former rival. it had been thoughts on how he'd sound when he'd sing, how he brushed his teeth in the morning, how soft his lips were... his lips.
they kissed.
on the mouth.
they kissed on the mouth.
koushi had kissed him on the mouth.
willingly.
now what in the hell did that mean?
'because that's romantic and this is sexual'
that's what he said
that's what he said, right?
those were his words!
so what was it?
it was short.
was it like a thank you?
did it mean something?
no. not possibly... right? what if it did?
but he liked someone else... but he HIMSELF liked someone else, at least that's what koushi probably thought, or did he?
did he think he was the type of person to take advantage of how inexperienced he was, even while liking someone else?
did he take him for that?
was he that?
he squeezed his eyes shut.
koushi had to be the most adorable person he'd ever met, even if he was sassy, even if he was driving him insane.
he wanted to touch every inch of his body, he wanted to explore all the places in his mind and every city he'd always wanted to visit.
he wanted to kiss his hands and hold him by his waist and he wanted to make breakfast for him every day, but would it ever be like that?
would he every get the honor?
let's state the facts.
drunk-ish, suga had took his light flirting and then begged to suck his dick in a public bathroom.
yet, tooru had started that, bought up the tension.
but the sucking dick part came from suga.
then, a little more than four full weeks was blank in tooru's mind, at least on suga's part so he could only make mental notes about himself.
first time he masturbated to it was in the bathroom itself, which was pretty self explanatory.
then, the day after, he had to get rid of his boner somehow.
that's also when he had more or less subconsciously stalked koushi's instagram he got from clicking on a thousand tags, before finding daichi and then suga.
he had three pictures.
a sunset, a selfie with a puppy and a selfie that was seemingly after practice, a little sweaty, but so unbelievably gorgeous.
and that's when past tooru had realized what he was doing and closed the app.
a few other times he jacked off, but usually he had a boner, then thought of suga. which should've been telling, but apparently he really was dense.
he remembered spending a whole night just thinking about how suga would kiss or touch him or what his favorite country was.
that made present-tooru realize how much he didn't know, but he was eager to find out.
after that, the sexting.
had also been from tooru's side at first, but he was very keen on consent (as everyone should be.) so koushi definitely did like it too... and the video.
fuck, the video.
he cursed snapchat for showing someone when you screen-record, otherwise he'd probably watch it over porn any day.
so after that, bumping into each other and then suga sucking him off in his kitchen.
again, tooru had started it, but suga hadn't once hesitated, even while he was inexperienced.
so either, it was tooru's sex appeal, suga liked him in some way or another or koushi just wanted to fill said lack of experience.
tooru thought a little deeper, he didn't wanna miss anything.
suga did have a habit of always practically underlining his name with his voice, while he was begging to him, but in general too. it rolled beautifully off his tongue, but if he really didn't like him like that, that was a little odd. but he could just be reading into things.
and then today.
they showered together and it was sensual and so nice, it made his heart flutter just thinking about it. how cute he looked, with his hair pressed down from the water, showing off his extremely detailed face structure.
he had also made him breakfast and it was lovely, it was soft. it felt like they were actually.. dating. but they weren't.
falling asleep together while cuddling... it sounded cheesy and made up, but tooru didn't remember the last time he actually had slept that well. suga smelled so good it was oddly comforting and he was too cute for his own good, while wearing tooru's hoodie that was now on the floor which got him to the last part.
the handjob.
he gave him a handjob and it was so different from anything he'd done before. it was almost... no most definitely loving. he enjoyed it. he had enjoyed every second of it.
the fact alone that this was the first orgasm koushi had ever had through someone else and that he had given tooru the honors of being that person still made him wanna jump up and hug the whole world, because he felt so lucky, even if... maybe koushi didn't like him at all...?
he hated it, but it was a possibility he could t just dismiss.
he didn't want himself to be too optimistic about it, or he'd get hurt in the process.
he breathed out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
the pathetic attempt at trying to analyze the last weeks had only left him with more questions now and he cursed himself for even thinking about it.
very carefully, he stood up and looked at koushi.
yup, crush. big crush.
his heart was almost beating out of his chest and he started blushing a deep pink.
koushi's hair fit perfectly to the dusky pink pillow his head was laying on, eyes closed and a faint blush on his cheeks.
his lips were slightly parted and his nose seemed so delicate.
tooru's gaze went down a little,
suga's legs were intertwined with the velvet blanket that was in the same antique pink that the pillow was.
something about the image was extremely erotic, the way one of his legs was sticking out, he was only wearing his boxers and his hair was a big messy.
also maybe the fact that he got him off 15 minutes ago.
but it was also so pure, so innocent.
without even thinking about it, tooru snapped a picture of it and stared at him again.
he was so utterly gorgeous.
it was truly unfair.
and he was so truly gay.
he decided it was best for him to look away, before he'd either explode or get a boner and so he went into the kitchen, looking out of the window, before opening said window.
it felt a little odd to just wander around in an apartment that wasn't his own, but it was nice too.
the wind was blowing through his hair and he closed his eyes, the image of koushi still in his head.
he had to remind himself that this could break any second, he could say one wrong thing and koushi could stop talking to him. there were so many possibilities and this was all too vague.
but that could change, right? it could change! maybe he should actually invite him on a date, somewhere without alcohol and somewhere where they could be alone.
he just hoped suga felt the same, at least a little, just a tiny bit.
he almost flinched, when koushi's arms wrapped around him from the side, immediately burying his face into tooth's shirt, letting said man wrap his arms around him.
"slept okay, little angel?"
suga made an undefined noise and oikawa had to swallow as he watched his shoulders twitch.
he was crying.
softly, he pulled him a little closer, strokes through his hair and down his neck with care, before kissing his head.
he knew not to ask in situations like these, but it broke his heart seeing him cry, broken sobs spilling out of his mouth.
"baby... it's okay. i'm here."
he kept his voice as gentle as he possibly could and held him a little tighter. he felt his shirt turning a little wet from the others tears, but he very honestly didn't mind.
"i'm sorry"
suga's voice cracked multiple times at just those two words and it hurt tooru's heart.
"don't apologize... it's okay... i promise."
he kissed his head again, the smell of shampoo hitting his nose and after a while, koushi let go of him at least a little.
tooru's eyes met with the soft almond shade that koushi's eyes held, although they were a little red from the crying. with care, he stroked away his tears, then kissed each of his cheeks, noticing how unbelievably soft his skin was.
he almost felt how fragile he was right now.
"do you wanna talk about it?"
he asked and koushi shook his head a little, smiling when tooru kissed his forehead.
"that's okay... wanna do something else then?"
"yes please"
koushi's voice still hadn't had it's usual enthusiasm behind it, but tooru didn't mention it.
they decided on playing a few board games and it was so soft. suga's laugh filled the room, lots of cheek kissed whenever someone won and they were eating a light snack.
tooru has never felt this before, but it was amazing.
his heart bounced at every giggle, at every time suga played with the string in tooru's hoodie that he had put on again.
he smiled brightly, when koushi had taken his hand, playing with his fingers when he began to get tired.
he adored every facial expression he made, laughed when he whined about losing in uno again.
carefully, tooru had got him to bed when suga was almost half asleep (although he said he was 'fully awake').
he had put a blanked on him and kissed his cheek, before whispering a soft
"good night, my prince."
and then he had put out the lights, cleaned up in the kitchen and left a note that read:
"good morning, baby!!
i'm hoping you had an excellent sleep<3 unfortunately i couldn't stay with you, since i have work in the morning for my (part time) job. but i'm sure we'll meet again in no time!
yours; tooru~
also here's my number hehe"
he scribbled down his number and left, closing the door as quietly as he possibly could, walking down the stairs and the five minute walk to his own apartment, where he sat onto his balcony, staring at the moon.
(tw; smoking)
his head hurt, but he lit up a cigarette with his right hand, inhaling and blowing out the grey-ish smoke into the night air.
he watched the light grey dance around in the air, before turning into nothing and inhaled again.
did koushi actually like him? was he just gonna ignore the note and move on with his life? what even were they? friends.. with benefits?
the feeling of the smoke in his lungs felt so endlessly uncomfortable.
he hated it.
he hated the disgusting feeling in the back of his throat and he hated the desire to cough it all out again.
but he kissed him... he kissed him and yet it was all so unsteady and tooru felt so unsure of the situation. the evening or... night. had been so nice, it had felt like there was no worry in the world except for suga constantly getting the better cards, between them at least.
his mind felt clogged, but somehow just watching the smoke was calming him too much to just.. stop.
but what had he been crying about? it wouldn't leave tooru's mind, the heartbreaking sobs still ripped him apart from the inside and out daggers into his chest. who made him feel that way? or was it just a nightmare?
and so he continued until the cigarette started burning on his fingers, which is when he eventually put it out and went back inside again to brush his teeth and fall onto his bed.
what were they?