This story is almost finished. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've been working on this story since 2017. Which is a very long time, to long some people would say 😂 I feel really sad that i'm close to finishing the story. I've loved hearing all your thoughts and suggestion on the story and your continuous support. It truly means the world to me, and I probably would have stopped writing if it wasn't for you guys. Thank you so much! I just wanted to see if you guys want me to continue with this story after beck and jade get back together or if I should leave it be. I feel really conflicted in which option I should choose.
Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes x
Jade's pov:
Jayson freaked out on me when I told him about me hurting myself. He was a mess, and he's keeping a closer eye on me now. It was really hard for me to tell him, he's one of the only purple who truly care about me. I guess I didn't want to disappoint him or upset him. It'd the worst feeling ever when I do that to him.
He told me to sing the song for beck, I still feel nervous about it, but that's the worst that can happen? Beck not liking me back anymore? Me making a fool out of myself in front of everyone? I need to calm down. The more I think about this the worse my anxiety gets.
I walked through the halls and saw tori standing at her locker, probably changing some books or something. I don't hate Tori anymore. Shocking right? I don't have anything to hate about her anymore. The main reason why I hated her was because I thought she was trying to steal beck away from me. Since our break up, she hasn't made a move on him. She's has SO many times that she could have made a move, but didn't. He went to kiss her for Christ sake! But she pulled away, saying she didn't want to ruin our friendship. That was the turning point in our relationship. She want after Beck, she never was. I guess that was just me being way to insecure.
I walk over to Tori, I took a quick sip of my coffee and brushed my hair behind my shoulders.
"Hey Vega." I smirk. She looks at me startled. She slowly closes her locker and raised her eyebrow.
"What? Are you here to torment me?" She asks.
"No. I'm here because my brother persuaded me to preform at the full moon jam." I explain.
"Ahh so you wanna perform now?" She perks up. "That's good!"
"Well I wouldn't be here talking to you if I want." I roll my eyes. She squeals and claps her hands. She's starting to remind me of cat. I had to speak to her today. And ask if she still wanted to come to Jayson's birthday party tonight.
"That's great! I we have a free period fourth, we could write it then." She suggest.
"Sure whatever, meet me by my locker." I walk away. I need to find cat. I'm not sure if she's going to come or not. She says she has a butterfly stuck in her ear. I don't know how that happened and I'm not sure I what to know.
I saw cat walking through the double doors, Robbie next to her holding a banana to her ear. Ummmm okay???
"Cat!" I call over to her. She looks over in my direction and smiles. She skips over to me, Robbie trying his best to keep the banana in her ear in the process.
"Hey jadey!" Cat giggles.
"Are you still..." I begin to ask.
All of a sudden cat starts screaming hysterically. She slapped her ear violently and kept jumping from one door to the other. I give Robbie a questioning look. This isn't normal.
"My sisters butterfly is moving in her ear." He informs me. I'm sorry what?
"What was you saying?" Cat asked as she calmed herself down.
"Are you still coming to Jayson's party tonight?" I ask.
"Who's Jayson?" Robbie asks, a frown plastered on his face.
"My brother". I reply. Did he seriously not know who Jayson is?
"Umm. I'm not sure, if mr butterfly doesn't come out them I don't think I can. He won't stop moving!" She frowns. I know she really wanted to go to the party.
"Ohh please cat". I beg. She looks unsure. I don't want to go alone. I really don't. I know I'm going to be surrounded by my family who love me. But I don't know... I just feel a little out of place recently and cat being there would really help me feel comfortable.
"I'm not sure Jadey. I've had this butterfly stuck in my ear for ages! And I don't know how to get it out." She pouts. "I will end up screaming every five minuets.".
"I don't want to go alone. You can hold my hand the entire time and if you feel him move you can squeeze my hand instead of screaming." I plead.
"Okay." Cat smiles. "Can you pick me up though? My parents are taking my brother to see another doctor tonight." Cat frowns.
"Sure kitty cat." I smile.
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It's the start of third period. And I'm late to class. What a surprise. My math teacher wanted to speak to me after class, and give me a lecture about me not playing enough attention in her class. I couldn't pay attention though. I was to busy thinking about Meredith and Beck. They've been talking a lot recently.
I walk towards my locker and I hear a high pitch giggle. At first I thought it was cat, but as I slowly inch closer to the end of the hallway, I see Meredith hugging Beck. My heart plummets to the bottom of my stomach.
"So I've been meaning to ask you something." Beck smiles at Meredith. "Do you want to go to the Full Moon Jam with me?"
Meredith looks up at beck with a huge smile. "Of corse I will go with you!" She squeals.
How could Beck ever love and put up with me, when there's girls like Meredith, that's so much more prettier, skinnier, and easier to handle? I was a fool to think he liked me. Ever since Andre's awful play, I've always knew he had a crush on her. The same for Tori! I mean he even tried to kiss her! He likes easy and hassle free girls.
Beck smiles at Meredith and brushes a hand through his hair. "Great! I'll pick you up at seven." He smirks at her.
"Okay." She giggles, ugh this is making me feel really sick. "I've got to go to class now. I don't want to be late."
"Me too. Come sit with us at lunch?" He asks her.
"Of corse!" She says. They give each other another hug and start walking their separate ways.
I wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall down my face. Once I'm certain that they left I walk down the steps and over to my locker. I want to go home. I've missed a lot of classes recently, and I know lane is going to want to speak to me about that at out next 'meeting'. I just want to stay at home, away from all the drama and stress. I put in my locker code and open the door. I put all my books in my locker and grab my car keys. I gently close the door and wipe away more tears that are about to fall down my cheeks. I head out the door. I saw lane heading towards the school entrance. He was on his phone, not taking any notice in where he's going. Hopefully he doesn't notice me. I walk faster and try my best to sneak past him. He looks up from his phone and gives me a puzzled look.
"Jade?" He frowns. "Where are you going? You have class.".
"Home." I quickly reply. I keep waking towards my car. I hear lane walking after me. Ugh.
"Jade, you can't just go home." He says.
"I don't want to stay any longer." I sigh. I press the unlock button on my car key.
My car unlocks and the lights flash orange. I open the door and chuck my bag into the passenger seat.
"Come back inside, and we can talk." He smiles.
"Yeh no thanks. I would rather be at home alone." I smile sadly. I climb into the driver seat and close my car door.
Lane frowns at me, he sighs and taps on the window. I roll my eyes and press the window down button on the side of the door.
"If you leave I'm going to have to tell your parents." He informs me. That's pathetic. I mean my mom will get angry at me skipping school. She thinks it's becoming a habit now. It's not. I just feel so overwhelmed and stressed at school, and I would rather be at home away from all of that.
"Whatever." I sigh. I put my key in the ignition and turn the car on.
"Jade. Come back inside. We can talk about this." He suggests.
I shake my head and back out of my parking space.
_____________________________________
I arrived home and went straight up into my bedroom. Nobody was at home, which is good. That means I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I locked my bedroom door and curled up on my bed.
I can't believe Beck is moving on with Meredith. We dated for three years! Three whole years together, and he's moving on just like that?! It was only a matter of time before he found someone better than me. Tears welled from deep inside of me and falls down my cheeks. A solemn tear fell down my cheek and landed on my pillow. My body looked so calm compared to how tangled my mind was. My phone started buzzing uncontrollably at the foot of my bed. I sit up reaching over and grabbing my phone. I lean back in my bed and look down at my phone. Tori's calling me. I press the answer button and put the call on speaker.
"Jade?! Where are you?" Tori asks. "You wasn't in second lesson!"
"I... Uhhh... I... I went home, Tori." I stutter.
"Wait a minuet." She says. "Are you crying?"
"W...what no." I reply quickly. I wipe away the tears that are still falling down my face.
"Don't lie to me." She sighs. "We both know you are."
"Fine I am." I sniffle. Great now Tori's going to want to know why! Ugh. Well done Jade!
"Why did you leave? I thought we was going to work on the song?" She asks me. To be honest I forgot about the song. I was to upset about Beck and Meredith.
"Oh yeh... why don't you come to my house after school. We can work on if then." I suggest.
"Okay That sounds like a plan. I'll see you later then." I can tell she's smiling. I can't even see her and I know she's smiling. Ugh. "Bye."
"Yeh bye". I sigh.
I end the call and shut my phone off. I toss my phone to the side and close my eyes.
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I woke up to someone knocking on my bedroom door. I groan and close my eyes again, hoping they would leave. The door opens and footsteps emerge from the hallway. They then closes the door and walks over to me. I bet it'd Jayson, or Harry.
"Jade?" Tori says quietly as she approaches my bed. Oh yeh, Tori was coming to help me write the song for the Full Moon Jam.
I groan and turn onto my side facing the wall. "Go away." I whine.
"You wanted me to come over to work on the song". She replies. Oh yeh. How long was I asleep for? Wait! How did she get in my house?
"How did you get inside?" I raise my eyebrow.
"Your mother let me in." She replies "She's really nice.".
"I didn't know she was home." I frown. Why didn't she wake me up before tori arrived?
"Come sit." I sigh.
Tori puts her school bag on the end of my bed and sits down next to me. I frown and rub my eyes tiredly. I roll back over and face her, I look into her chocolate brown eyes and she smiled down at me.
"Enjoying your nap was you?" She smirked. I chuckle and cover my eyes with my hands.
"Yeh." I say flatly. I sit up and remove my hands from my face. "Do you have a notebook and a pen?"
"Yeh." She digs through her bag which was at the door of my bed. She rummages around and eventually takes out a dark blue pen and a bright orange book with pink polka dots on it.
"That notebook is hideous." I scrunch my nose up in disgust. She chuckles to herself and opens the book to a new page.
"Well good thing it's not mine then." She smiles. "It's Trina's." I raise my eyebrow and chuckle slightly. Trina's notebook was awful. I should have known it was hers.
"Your sister has awful taste." I chuckle. Tori nods her head and takes the pen lid off the pen.
"So what do you want the song to be about?" She asks me.
To be honest I hadn't though about that yet. What type of song will I preform? What song should I sing to Beck? I could write one about our relationship. But would that be enough to make him love me again? Probably not.
"Mine and Beck's relationship." I suggest.
"That's a lovely idea." Tori smiles at me.
A sudden idea pops into my head. I snatch the notebook and pen from tori and write down my idea. I pass the notebook and pen back to Tori and she frowns whilst reading it.
"You don't know me? What's that about?" She asks.
"Well, Beck doesn't know me. I mean he knows almost everything about me, but not really." I try to explain.
"I'm not following along." Tori frowns.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that Beck knows me, he knows everything about me, every little detail. Down to the T! But he doesn't know the new me. He doesn't know what I've kept hidden away from him, what I've never told him about or showed him before." I explain. Tori looks like she's understanding it now. The frown has disappeared from her face and a small smile appears.
"Jade." Tori says softly. "I think that it's a wonderful idea. We could use it for the song title, and in the chorus!" She starts scribbling her idea's down on the notebook.
What else can I add? What else do I feel towards our relationship? Or me in general?
I'm aggressive towards everyone, I do that on purposes to protect myself. I'm so insecure that I have to build walls around myself to protect me from any possible damage. I'm afraid of getting hurt, and letting people in. Beck was the ONLY one who broke my walls down, who saw the real me. He's seen the pets that I didn't want anyone to ever see. And then he left me. He left me and made my biggest fear come true, the one thing that I didn't want to happen. He tried to kiss Tori. I always knew he liked her, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he left me for her. If it wasn't for Tori rejecting him they probably would be together. Beck leaving me for tori has been the main insecurity for me. And it came true, kind of. The longer he stayed, the more open I was to him, the more I got hurt.
And the longer that you stay the ice is melting,
And the pain it feels okay it feels okay.
That last like is Ironic isn't it? 'The pain feels okay'. No it doesn't. It feels the exact opposite. I guess me saying it's okay makes others think I'm alright, that I can handle it. When really I can't. And Beck of all people should know that. He broke me down multiple times, saw the real me and left. He knows what it does to me. And yet he still does it.
I sigh and look at my hands which was in my lap. Tori looks over at me and places a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, you okay?" She asks gently. I look up at her, tears threatening to fall from my ocean blue eyes.
"Yeh, I just thought of a lyric to use." I sigh. She raised her eyebrow at me and picks the pen up again. "And the longer that you stay the ice is melting, And the pain it feels okay it feels okay." I smile sadly.
She writes the lyrics down and smiles sadly to herself. "Okay I think we have something to work with." She informs me as she turns the page over.
_____________________________________
Tori left a couple hours ago. We finished writing and rehearsing the song. I texted Andre letting him know that I will be preforming at the Full Moon Jam. He seemed pretty happy that I was, and that he would get everything sorted out for me so I don't need to stress about anything.
Its Jason's Birthday party tonight. Although it isn't officially his birthday until tomorrow. My mother constantly makes sure we are all dressed up smart, and elegant for his party. I had to text cat multiple times telling her to dress pretty. It took me a while for her to understand, but I think she got the message in the end.
I'm so glad cat is coming with me, she always comes to family events with me. She's like the sister I never had.
I stand in front of my long mirror, that is in my closet. I'm wearing One of my favourite silk black dresses. The dress has a little lace on the back around the area of the zip. It has a black bow on the small of my back. The front had a small v line, which leaves plenty of room for one of my new necklaces my dad bought me. The dress was tight around my waist and showed off all of my curves. The dress stops just above my knees, and has short sleeves that stops half way between my shoulder and elbow. I was also wearing a thin lace cardigan that stops halfway down my back and at my wrists. The cardigan is to help cover my scars, it's still a little noticeable though. I'm also wearing a couple bracelets which also helps to cover up my scars. I picked up my black platform stilettos. I slipped them on my feet and walked out of my closet, turning the light off after myself.
I walk over to my vanity and turn my curling iron on. I decided to have my hair in curls, so the bottom is more bouncy and pretty. I leave my purple coloured extensions in, which adds some colour to my dark appearance. While the curlers are heating up I dig through my jewellery draw. I pull out the necklace that Jayson bough me this morning.
He surprised me this morning with a gift. I was very confused, this is his birthday not mine. Why was I getting a gift? He made me close my eyes and hold my hands out. I obeyed him, doing what I was told to do. He put a dark red velvet box in my hands. I was so confused. Did he get me some Jewellery? It turns out he bought me a necklace. It made me tear up. The neckless was so cute. It was gold and had little gold stars on the top chain, and it had another chain below it with a moon. He told me the meaning behind it, and it made me cry, he's so thoughtful. He said the starts are always there to help brighten up your life in the darkest of times.
I smiled down at the necklace in my hands. I put the neckless around my neck and Do it up at the back. It looks so pretty on. It looks perfect with my outfit. I smile and grab onto the now hot curlers. I curled the bottom of my hair and turned the irons off. I placed them back on my vanity to cool down. I walked over to my bedside table and take my phone off charge. And pick up my car keys. I grab my black clutch bag from my bed and put my belongings inside.
I walk out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I assume everyone else is getting ready. I had to leave early to go pick cat up, as her parents were with her brother at some hospital seeing another doctor.
I walk out my front door, closing it quietly behind me. I make my way over to my car and unlock it. I open the door and slide into the drivers seat, closing the door behind me. I put my keys in the engine and start my car up. The headlights turn on and I start backing out of my driveway. The drive to Cat's want far. She only lived a few blocks away. I turn the radio on and music instantly floods my ears, distracting myself from the silence.
After a few minuets I pull up outside Cat's house. I honk the horn a couple times, legging Cat know I've arrived. I press the down button on the inside of my car door, and the window starts rolling down. The front door swings open and cat comes running out. She almost forgets to close the door, she locks it quickly and rushed over to me.
"Hey Jadey!" Cat squeals as she skips up towards my car.
"Is the butterfly still in your ear?" I ask her. She nods at me and opens the passenger door. I press the roll up button on my car door and the window rolls back up.
"You look pretty cat." I smile at her. She giggles and smiles back at me.
She's wearing a pale pink dress that has a black belt and cream pumps. The dress suits her very well and has to be one of my favourite's of hers. At least it's not BRIGHT pink. Her hair is half up and half down and curled at the bottom. And she has small dangly earnings.
"Thank you Jadey! You look very pretty too." She chirps.
"Don't call me Jadey." Roll my eyes at her playfully. She giggles and fiddles with a stand of her hair.
"You ready to go? You haven't forgot anything?" I raise my eyebrow at her. She usually forgets something whenever I pick her up. Typical cat.
All of a sudden she begins screaming. She kicks her legs about and smacks her ear. After a couple of seconds she calms down.
"You good?" I ask her. She nods sadly at me and sighs. "If you need to do that, just squeeze my hand okay? No screaming." I chuckle.
"Kay kay!" She smiles and looks out the window. I roll my eyes, her attention span is so low. I back out of her driveway and head towards the main road.
_____________________________________
Me and cat arrive at Jayson's party. I park my car in one of the free spaces in the parking lot. There was a few other cars already there. I opened the door and climbed out, closing the car door and locking the car behind me, Cat skipped around to my side and grabbed onto my hand. I smiled at her, she actually did what I asked her too! And she didn't forget! She smiled back at me and we both started walking towards the doors.
I opened the door with my free hand and continued walking through into the lobby.
"Wow!" Cat gasped. "This place is so pretty!"
There was a small black sofa on one side of the room with a few black leather armchairs scattered around the other side of the room. There was a big brick fire place on the back wall which had a fire burning on some small logs. I walked through the open glass door which led into the main hall. Cat tightly squeezes my hand, i guess the butterfly is moving inside her ear again. She released her tight grip after a second and smiled sadly at me. I sighed and rubbed her hand with my thumb. We continued walking into the hall. There was a huge table in the corner which had tones of presents stacked up on it. There was balloons scattered all over the floor and stuck on the walls with blue birthday banners. There was a small table in another corner with a light and dark blue three tier cake. The walls was light grey and had photos hanging up of sport events and landscapes. My favourite part was the huge chandelier that hung in the middle of the room. It was gold and had thousands of diamonds handing down.
"There you two girlies are!" My mother rushed over to me. "You look beautiful." She gushed at me and cat.
Me and cat looked at each other and smiled. Cat's grip on my hand grew tighter again. The butterfly. The sooner she gets it out the better.
"Thank you." We both say at the same time.
"We've got your presents for Jayson over on that table." My mother pointed towards the table with all the brightly coloured wrapping papered boxes on. "If you want a drink or snacks the kitchen is always available and is just down there." She points behind us. "And you can always hang out in the garden too." She smiled.
"Kk." Cat giggles. "Jadey can we go into the garden?" Cat pleads.
"Sure. Bye mom." I wave her goodbye. Me and cat walk over to the double class doors that are open.
We step outside and are met with a light breeze. The hedges are decorated with white fairy lights. There was a fire place in the middle which had a warm orange blaze in the middle. There was tables and chairs sat underneath the willow and blossom trees. And there was a metal archway, which has roses growing around it. The archway led towards an open grassy area that had a few guest in.
Do you guys want me to continue with this story after Beck and Jade get back together?