"Why are you here?" I folded my arms and stubbornly raised my chin at him.
I made it sure that I kept my voice in control and my distance away from me. Pete knows, I want to run my arms to him and tell how much I missed him.
You don't even have the decency to apologize to my face and now you come here consoling me from getting drunk?" I waved my hands over my face between us. My sight blurry but I can still manage to stand up straight and talk sober. " you don't get to touch me like that!"
" It wasn't like that. " He closed his eyes as if it pained him to even explain to me the situation. His arms gripped. I can feel veins protruded on his temples and hands from fisting so tightly. He parted his lips about to say more but I beat him to it.
"Then, what is it, then? Huh?" I acccussingly pointed my finger at him. I ran my hands on my hair frustratingly and looked at him breathing as if I chased someone a hundred times over and over again. "Gosh, I can't believe I let you did a number on me and then this happened. Im such a fool!"
"Cassy, you have to understand that it was an arranged marriage."
"What is it with arranged marriage? It is a poor excuse. I don't understand it! You left me remember? I waited on you and you didn't come back or even explained to me what happened."
" There are things going on at home that I cant just explain to you. Dad wanted me to be with her. I don't"
" Then what are you here for? Telling me all these? All these things were put to waste? All that we've been together were just for nothing? Huh?" I closed my eyes and bitterly said. "Leave. Why would I waste my breath on you when you already got someone else."
"Last night wasn't a mistake. " Xavier started to explain. "I was- I can't- christiana and I- "
He ran an exasperated hand over his hair and smacked the walls next to him. He was breathing hard. He swallowed a lump of his throat and mutter a curse.
When he caught his breathing calmed down. He sadly smiled and looked at the ground. "I didn't know it was gonna end like this. I swear to you I didn't planned all this."
" well you could have gave me a ring telling me that you wanted to break off. I would had been okay with that."
He looked at me. Pain slapped him across the face. "You would be okay with us breaking off?"
"You are gonna leave and be back for friday anyway, I have time to get myself prepared for whatever hell, i am about to face." I laughed and sarcastically smiled.
Pete knows, I wanted to hurt him physically but I'm stopping myself from scratching my nails on him. He doesn't deserve an apology.
" I just.. can't. God knows I can't do it with you. " He exhaled, run through his hand to the scalp of his hair. Hurt flashed across his expression. It was so unfair that even in this exasperated times he looks so damn beautiful. Whereas I, I looked pitiful, walking in a club desperately looking for someone else to ease the tension off my mind, to avoid my thoughts drawing back to Xavier. And now he stands before me handsomely alive and one-piece, how I wish to break him to pieces. " It was a family business agreement-"
" I don't need your explaination. I got what you meant. You can leave." I started to made my way to the door. But he caught me and pulled me to his chest.
I grind my teeth and growled."Let. Go. "
" No."
I didn't move back or didn't even waver from his sight. I lifted my chin defiantly and hands to my hips. The space between us is getting inch by inch close. I felt his hot breath on my forehead. I trembled even with such proximity we have been so close to.. touching, embracing him. I admit I kind of miss him but the whole part of me- started to grow numb from the fury shashaying my thoughts. I am a bubble waiting to burst. And seeing Xavier, I think it is the right time to burst into nothingness. I whisphered, "Let. Go."
He looked down on me and didn't reply. His hands-on his sides, his shoulder slouched in defeat and his eyes downcast.
Is he ashamed of what he had done?
I puffed and huffed.
He better be!
His features hardened, " After all we been through-"
" Yeah right, as if you were having fun when we've been together-" I laughed sarcastically.
" I was! "
" Was? Now you don't?" Hurt flashed on my face. I shuddered in pain.
" Baby, I still-" He trailed off.
" Don't call me that! Don't you ever Goddamn call me that when we are over, you bastard! " I punched his chest, the hardest I could ever land. He must have felt the ache but he was standing still, unmoved, well-sculptured, and still hot.
It is so unfair, he could have been bloodshot, throaty and croaked but here he stood, in a new black suit with a hair nicely combed backward. No glasses on.
His hands slowly rose and land on top of my mine which is grabbing his shirt, outrage. His face softened. He gently said, " I am sorry."
" You are so selfish! Sorry is not enough! " Something in my chest broke apart, releasing all warmth throughout my body. I tear fell on my cheek and I quickly swiped it away but Xavier reached out his thumb to wipe it for me. I started to sob uncontrollably. Why of all days he chose to be engaged? When I fell hard for him, he decided to back away. " I said, Leave! "
I hiccupped, this time my words gritted my teeth, more of my tears escaped, rolling down on my face relentlessly.
" I love you, Cassy." He whispered, said it so softly as he brought his palm over my cheeks, cupped my face with his hands, and gave me a tender kiss, this time softer than ever, his breath hot on my skin-" I love you. "
" You dont get to say all those things and say you love me. " I looked into his eyes that sparked his emerald orbs. The smell of mocha and a masculine perfume still hugged me like I'm its lost lover.
He dropped his gaze and gulped, his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. Then he kissed me. Hid lips met mine with confident, skilled, and something more I couldn't point out. His tongue dipped inside tasting leisurely into licks. He moved them in and out aggressively in torture and I moaned with need, deepening the kiss as he stroke them expertly. My heart skipped a beat at the heat he provided me with. The shaking of my body caused Xavier to placed a hand on both sides of my shoulders to keep me in place.
He pushed himself out from the aftermath, his breathing heavily, ragged, panting as if he ran a marathon. " I was going to kiss you for goodbye."
"Asshole." My lips trembled and pushed him. I spit on the ground from him and ran out of the restroom.
*
" What are you writing for Tria?"
My forehead creased.
Tria looked up from the paper and smiled, " From someone."
"... someone?" I scrunched my nose and thought who could it be. " Someone I know?"
Tria rolled her eyes at my attempt to look upon her writing to which she covered it up with her chest. She giggled one of her secretive smiles and said, " Obviously, if I told you, you'll eventually know who."
"That person should know you don't have the time in the world to wait for an email so that he or she might be able to respond with a time limit." I returned one of her smiles and she gave me a frown. Usually, the email sent for two or three weeks, depending on how afar the recipient or receiver you are.
" I have never been able to write for a while. You should try this, it is refreshing! " I could only shake my head back and forth as I looked over our polaroid pictures and placing them in a book.
" I am in the era where millennials such us," I drawled and pointed to myself, " believe that texts in phones exists."
Tria looked at me as if I grew two heads, I looked over at her and said, " What?"
" I prefer to call it vintage." Tria replied, " And I love vintage."
" Whatever. " I dismissed the topic and said, " So... email to whom?"
"who got a name."
" And what would be her name? " I arched my eyebrow at her.
" Her is a he."
I hummed, " name?"
Tria smiled at me, " Still not telling."
I woken up late. I ran as fast as I could and take a cab as quickly as my whistle could get me. I came to school and took the test I never prepared for.
I don't even remember what I answered during Midterm. All I thought was that Xavier came for me last night and I pushed him away because he lied to me. Seeing him now, wearing a plain shirt and chains of pants, with smart glasses- I don't think he was the least bit affected at all.
And after all, I based it on the stock knowledge. As always, Mark was the first one to finish the test. I was next then Mary, the last person who accomplished the exam. It wasn't that hard, it wasn't that easy either.
A white heeled dressed up in business attire was Christiana with folders in her hand, she smiled at me and I felt my insides revolted with a disgust. On myself. On her.
I didn't respond to her smile and just followed where Mark was waiting for Mary on the other side of the hallway.
Mary and Xavier went out together discussing the points of the subjects they are classmates with. I mean, they can do that, there is no such thing they couldn't but seeing people casually getting closer to Xavier's proximity makes me uneasy and uncomfortable.
It was like- that is supposed to be my place. I watched as Christiana kissed him in the cheeks. Those suppose to be my lips, my hands on his arms. " how's your exam going?"
Xavier feeling the tension of my sight towards Christiana's. He suddenly pulled apart, an inch away from her, " Christiana not here, please?"
" Don't be such a baby, Xav. " Christiana rolled her eyes and slapped his chest playfully. My eyes zeroed at her chest on him.
I'm fuming mad. I dragged Mark and Mary to the cafeteria for some fresh air.
" I know what you need, Cassy." Mark nibbled on his mac and cheese.
" what?" I groaned as I laid my head above my crossed arms. I was trying to sleep but couldn't. Who would had slept when last night was Xavier tellling me goodbye and Mid term exam is up next? Instead, I looked up at Mark wondering what he referred.
" A distraction." Mark waggled his eyebrows as he looked over at the spiky jet black hair with a wide grin on his face who was behind me. He was bulky but not as bulky with Xavier. If you asked me why I compared him to Xavier, I don't have an answer. Please, just keep on reading, hone.
" Hello, Stefan. " Mark titled his head to get a better view of him since he was taller. He was happier and more goofy than him- much more approachable. He was bringing his tray next to Mark who had a man handshake with him. The least closed off in terms of making friends. " Come meet Cassy."
His blue ocean eyes drifted to me. He remained his eyes to me as he spoke and I found myself blushing, " Yeah, so you are Cassy?"
" U-um Y-yeah."
" Hi, I'm Stefan." He raised his hands for me causing me to brush my fingers and enveloped by his. " Mind if I join you ?"
" no-no not at all." I stuttered. Such friendly, and confident was he in a plain v neck shirt and tattoo that covered his right arms. I couldn't speak more. I just settled where I am seated and remained smiling for the last fifteen minutes.
Flash news: this is a small world. Christiana and Xavier was also in the cafeteria. Her eyes sparkled as she took in the scenes of the cafe. She pointed at the dessert sections and tugged at Xavier for the sale lollipops. I didn't know what I felt, a little nauseous, super angry, and wanting to throw them a chair. But Stefan is next to me and I wouldn't want to give him a heart attack by showing him my side in surprise fury that could sent him in ER or his grave.
They passed by us, and tell me now how God wanted to share love to the world that he given his only son- Jesus. What I want now is to be with Jesus. I can't wait to see clouds, afterlife whatever miracle you call heaven.
Xavier was looking at Stefan as if he wants to choke at him. Mark was wanting to smash Xavier's face while Mary was trying to stop them. Stefan raised his hands as if he was giving up from the unexpected war that's unraveling. I am gazing at Christiana's arm protectively wrapped around his waist. Christiana was smiling incognizant, unmindful, and clueless at the pressure rising between the guys.
Here we go.
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