Beth
I stumbled out of the elevator and kicked off my shoes, the room starting spinning and I had to lean on the arm of the sofa for a couple of seconds to get my equilibrium back to normal. I walked into the bedroom a wave of relief went through me when I saw Claire sleeping in bed.
I didn't have fun tonight no matter many drinks I drank, how many songs I danced to, or how many people I talked to, all I could think about was Claire and what I could do to not make her mad at me anymore.
But the more I thought about her, the more nervous I became because Claire was kind of scary when she was mad and that made me drink to calm my nerves. Before I knew it, I was 8 shots and 3 beers in and completely wasted.
All I remember from tonight was that Jamie kept trying to dance up on me and after the 7th time of me pushing her away, she finally stopped trying but not before giving me a steely look.
I walked over to the bed and started peeling off my clothing as quietly as I could and crawled into bed in just my underwear. I hugged Claire closer to me, my body finally relaxing as soon as her body came in contact with mine.
I missed her tonight and I felt off without her next to me knowing that we weren't on good terms right now.
Claire moved closer to me turning around in my arms with her eyes still closed. It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off my chest when she did that because even though she wasn't conscious, whether or not she meant to snuggle closer, it felt like just a regular night of us falling asleep cuddling. I leaned in and gave her forehead a kiss, "I love you," I whispered softly. Butterflies appeared in my stomach, I did it, I finally said it. Granted, she was asleep, but it was baby steps.
* * * * *
I woke up alone in bed and a pounding headache, giving up trying to open my eyes, I reached around blindly for my cell phone. It was a bad idea to drink so much last night but I was grateful that I had today off.
I squinted at the time on my phone and was relieved that it was still mid-morning. I was supposed to move my stuff into my new place. I already felt bad that I ditched mom and Charlie this weekend when I should've helped them move in but I was hoping they understood.
I slid off the bed grudgingly and started to get ready to start my day.
Claire
I huffed and tried to keep a steady pace as I squatted with the bar and plates. "Good form, Claire!" I heard my trainer yell over the music blasting in my ears.
I woke up this morning tangled up in Beth's arms, for a bliss moment, I was happy and so content with just being in her arms. I had a brief memory of Beth coming home last night because I heard her bump into literally everything in the living room.
I thought she was going to sleep in the guest room like she decided the previous night, but to my surprise, she crawled into bed next to me. I felt her arms pull me closer to her and I fell asleep almost instantly now that I knew she was home safe.
But the last thing I remember was her saying she loved me. She said it so quietly that I thought I imagined it. Just the thought of it distracted me from my set as my left leg almost gave out.
I used all the strength I could muster up to push the bar up but I was struggling. I felt Lorenzo take the bar off the back and place it on the holder. "What happened with that last set?" he asked, "you were doing so well."
I ripped my earbuds out of my ear angrily and accepted the towel he had handed me, "I don't know," I panted.
He nodded probably thinking I was upset about messing up my sets, "maybe we should call it a day, I don't want you to strain yourself." He pointed to my left leg, "make sure you stretch your leg out, you might've just aggravated it and that's why it's sore."
I nodded my head before I lifted my water bottle to my lips. We talked a little bit more about scheduling my next training session, but my mind was on something else. Eventually, I was making my way back to my car, thankful that I was finally alone with my thoughts.
I sat in the driver's seat and just stared blankly out the windshield. Today was the day I had to break up with Beth. How was I supposed to do that? How was I expected to lie to her and tell her that I didn't want her anymore when it was the complete opposite.
I leaned forward and rested my head on the steering wheel. This was the hardest role I was going to have to play since I started acting professionally. How the hell was I supposed to pull this off?
Beth
I frowned at my phone screen as I made my way to the car. I had already done 3 trips to and from my new place and I still haven't heard from Claire. I knew she was at the gym but usually by her second set, she would've at least texted me twice about how much she hated the gym or made a joke about saving her from her strict trainer.
But she hasn't responded to my good morning text that I sent hours ago. I didn't want to be that girl that overanalyzed everything especially when I didn't know where I stood with her. I hopped into the driver's seat and started the engine. I was almost done moving all my stuff out of Claire's place but the more trips I made, the more I found myself dragging my feet to actually finish moving. I didn't want to leave Claire's place. I loved spending time with her and I missed her even though she was icing me out.
I knew I was wrong for making that comment. We should've talked about it but instead, I blocked our communication by storming off and sleeping in a different room that night and that just put a strain between us.
I drove towards Claire's place again when the flower shop I bought flowers from before caught my eye. I jerked my steering wheel to the left, making a very illegal U-turn as incoming cars honked their horns at me, but I didn't care, this was an emergency.
I parked in front of the shop and turned off the ignition. I was going to buy her the biggest bouquet of roses as part of an apology.
I pulled the door to the shop open and was immediately greeted by a worker.
"Back again?" she asked with a smile.
"Yeah," I scratched the back of my neck and smiled sheepishly, "you said you had the best apology roses, right?"
She chuckled lightly, "you remembered?"
I winced, "I knew I was going to mess up at some point so I made sure to remember."
She nodded, "alright, give me one second, let me just bring out different arrangements and pick the one you like." She disappeared into a backroom and I looked around the shop. I was never the type to apologize first especially because I had a lot of pride. But I was willing to put my pride aside to make sure Claire and I were good. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Claire
As soon as I got home it was apparent that Beth was in the process of moving her things. My heart hurt seeing how small the pile of her boxes was left in my room because after what I was about to do, she wouldn't have a reason to be here anymore or actually want to be around me.
I sat on the couch and tucked my legs under me as I pulled out my phone. Beth sent me a good morning text earlier and normally I would've sent her one back, but if I was going to break up with her today, I couldn't be sending her mixed signals.
I untangled my legs from under me and sat up straight, my leg bouncing nervously as I waited for her to come home. 3 months ago, I wasn't sure if I could even fool people to believe that Beth and I are in a romantic relationship and Emily gave me the advice to pretend that it was just a role I was playing.
Initially, I didn't think I could do it. But how could I not fall for Beth? She's the most charming and beautiful person I know. I took a deep breath, trying to get into character because that's what all of this was - just a role I was playing. I was supposed to play the part of smitten girlfriend to Beth James now I was supposed to pretend that I didn't want to be with her anymore.
But this was how it was meant to end. Beth and I were supposed to go our separate ways. What wasn't supposed to happen, was getting attached and falling for her. Everything started to get complicated once feelings started getting involved.
While I was deep in thought, I saw the floor numbers climb above the elevator doors. She was here and I was going to see her in about a minute.
I changed the expression on my face from anxious to stoic, channeling the actress that I was as the elevator doors open.
Beth stepped off the elevator tentatively holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers in one hand while holding a box of pizza in the other. I tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach that always appeared whenever she was near me.
"Hi baby," she bit her lip nervously. "I-I got these for you," she handed me the flowers but I crossed my arms across my chest and looked away instead of taking her peace offering. Beth pursed her lips and put the bouquet on the coffee table in front of me.
"I thought maybe we could have one last dinner together until I move out completely," she opened the box with pineapple pizza and I almost smiled, knowing that she hated pineapple pizza but was willing to stomach it for me.
She sat down on the couch beside me, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said," she said quietly. "It was so out of line when I said that and I don't think you're stuck up or pretentious," she reached for my hands but I moved my hands subtly so it was out of her reach.
Beth definitely noticed but she didn't let it stop her from continuing, "yes, Hollywood is full of people who use others to get ahead and there are a lot of narcissists in your field of work. But you're different. You're the kindest person I know and you would literally give the shirt off you back for a stranger if they needed it."
She reached across to hold my hands and my heart fluttered with the physical contact, "but I never should've said it and we never should have gone to bed angry at each other. I'm sorry." She lifted my hand up to her lips and gave it a soft kiss.
I had to look away from her because the sincerity in her eyes and her words would've been enough for me to break. It took everything I had to pull my hand away as I stood up and started walking towards the kitchen for a glass of water.
I could hear her footsteps follow from behind me, "Is everything ok, babe?" I could hear the anxiousness in her voice.
"Maybe you're right," I replied not turning around, "being a celebrity is all about appearances and it's really unfortunate but that's how this industry works."
I finally turned around and Beth gave me a confused look, "we work in completely different fields that prioritize different skills."
"I know," Beth smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist, "and how amazing is it that even though we're so different we go so well together?"
I let her arms linger on me for a couple more seconds so I could savor this feeling just a little longer before I stepped back from her, "but I think we're too different," I said in a quiet voice.
Beth frowned, "what are you talking about?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat, "we run in completely different circles, Beth. You prefer a night at the bar with your friends while I like going to celebrity parties and award shows." That couldn't have been a bigger lie. If I had the option I would definitely skip parties and award shows, they were so unnecessary.
"Where is this coming from?"
I shook my head, "it was always there, Beth. We just kind of ignored it." I looked down, ashamed at what I was about to say, "we're in different social classes, it would have never worked out for us, so why don't we just call it quits now? Give us both an out."
"Babe," she started, "I don't want an out," she pointed between us, "I don't even know what we are but if you just want a casual relationship then I want that too. I just want to be with you." She lifted her arm to touch me but stopped short knowing that I'd probably move away from her, "I love you, Claire. I love you so much."
If she had said those words any other time, my heart would have swelled. But right now, all I felt was pain inside.
"I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. It was a mistake for us to get involved with each other romantically. We should've just stuck to the contract and save ourselves the trouble." I didn't want to look up and see her face.
I heard her shuffling in her pocket and the sound of her throwing her key onto the table. She blew out air and laughed without humor, "I guess that's show biz right? Once you've got whatever you wanted, you give them a polite rejection, saying that it just wasn't working out." She shook her head at me, "maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're just like all of them, I mean you're a really good actress, Claire. You had me fooled into believing you actually had feelings for me. How you don't have Academy Award is beyond me."
She turned walking towards the elevator and pressed the button, " you know, I used to feel bad for you whenever Nathan would stand you up or treat you poorly. But you're both more alike than I thought so maybe you do belong together."
Her eyes were glossy and she pressed the button on the floor panel, "I hope you're happy," she sniffled just before the doors closed.
I ran to the doors, not like it wouldn't have mattered though. She was gone, did I really expect her to fight for us after all of the horrible things I said? "Fuck!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
In a fit of rage, I flipped over the coffee table. Papers and magazines flew to the ground, while the sound of mugs breaking against the floor rang through the room. But I didn't stop there, I went into the kitchen and started smashing and flipping over everything in sight.
It didn't make me feel better but it did give me an outlet on how to channel the anger I felt inside right now.
It broke my heart to see her walk out of here. As much as I wanted to blame Amy for making me do this, it was ultimately my decision to follow through it. But I thought about how vulnerable Beth was when she told me about her biological mom and how protective she was of Marcella and Charlie.
I couldn't just sit back and watch Amy ruin 4 lives even if it meant that I would lose Beth. I was willing to sacrificing my own happiness to make sure that Beth's life didn't get any harder. I knew she went through a lot as a kid and I didn't want her to have to open that painful part of her past up again.
I was never really calling the shots in my life, especially when I started to act professionally. My image was important and making sure I was well-received by the public was critical, so when I was forced to do something that went against what I believed, I didn't really mind because it was for the sake of my career. But this one was solely my own decision and I knew that it was a mistake but I had no one to blame but myself.
Beth
The elevator ride down was quiet except the sound of my heavy breathing and the occasional sniffle. The realization that I still had some boxes left upstairs came to mind but I couldn't go back for it, not after Claire just broke my heart. I refused to let her see how bad she hurt me.
The doors opened and I stepped out, walking past the security desk with fast steps hoping that Hector wouldn't stop me. I didn't want to cry. I was almost home free when I heard his voice.
"Seniorita."
I pasted a smile on my face before turning around, "Yes, Senor?"
He looked at me carefully for a couple of seconds before he spoke, "what's wrong?"
Those two words were enough me to start tearing up but I cleared my throat, "nothing, it's just these damn allergies."
I knew he didn't believe me with the look on his face, but thankfully he didn't call me out on it. Instead, he pulled me into a hug which made me tear up even more. "It will get better, Seniorita."
I pulled away and gave him and Patrick a small nod before I continued towards the exit. I unlocked my car door and pulled out of the parking space, driving past multiple blocks before I couldn't see through my tears.
I pulled over and just sat in the seat with the car running. About a minute later, tears started flowing freely down my face. It took everything in me not to cry in front of Claire, Hector, and Patrick, but I was proud that I didn't break.
I didn't want to give Claire the satisfaction of both breaking my heart and seeing me cry. This was exactly why I didn't want to get romantically involved with anyone.
Now here I was, crying in the car a couple blocks away from the girl that I loved, picking up the pieces of both my heart and ego.
Whoever said love wins was clearly delusional.
[A/N]: sorry this is late lol I just got a puppy and it's hard to write and make sure she isn't chewing up my stuff at the same time lol
But! I've decided to start another book with Dani from the last chapter being the main character. I put the prologue up so go check it out :) or not lol see ya next chapter :)