Mrs Maddox looked at me from across the desk.
Rain lashed against the window for the third day in a row and bolts of lightning darted across the sky. The occasional clap of thunder rolled across the sky and the light on Mrs Maddox's table flickered. Nothing could have made my meeting with Mrs Maddox any more ominous, except perhaps a power cut. This meeting had been a long time coming.
I had expected Mrs Maddox to call me in to her office on the same day as the incident with Miss Feldman, but she hadn't. Katie said she rarely called anyone into her office unless they had done something worthy of a possible suspension, and no one thought being an awful drawer matched that criteria. When she summoned me to her office on Friday afternoon, Katie had offered to come with me, but I knew I had to do it myself although I did appreciate the offer.
It wouldn't look good if I got the head girl to try and cover for me.
Mrs Maddox removed her glasses and placed them on the stack of paper in front of her. The lamp flickered. She clasped her hands in front of her and leant forward so her elbows rested on the edge of the table. Although she seemed inviting and there was a hint of kindness behind her eyes, I didn't like how small she made me feel. If she was going to tell me off, I wanted her to get on with it rather than dragging it out.
"You have been with us almost a full week, Felicity. How do you think you have fared so far?" she asked.
"Alright, I think," I said.
"Have you made any friends?"
"Katie and Jo, from fifth year."
"Any friends in your own year?"
"Not really, Ma'am. I've spoken to Emma a few times."
"Hm. Katie mentioned the other day that the two of you had become rather good friends." She paused. "You have had glowing reports from your teachers in the past week, specifically from your history teacher. She is very impressed."
A lightning bolt darted across the sky outside.
"The same, however, cannot be said about Miss Feldman. She suggested you do not take part in any more of her sewing classes, but this is not a solution. I have already agreed to allow you to miss your sport lessons whilst your class do swimming and I do not want to disrupt your time here anymore. You will continue with the sewing classes, but you must follow all instructions. I do not want to have Miss Feldman in here for a second time to complain about your work ethic in her classroom. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Mrs Maddox."
"Good. You are dismissed."
She waved her hand at me and placed her glasses back on her nose. Her attention immediately returned to the stack of paper she had been looking at when I walked in and I took it as my official cue to leave. I pushed myself off the chair, smoothed out the back of my dress and stepped out into the hall.
The lights hanging on the walls flickered and I could hear a clap of thunder as it rolled across the sky. I made my way down the hallway, pausing briefly to listen to the rain as it lashed against the stained-glass window in the entranceway. Clouds rolled across the sky and basked the entire entranceway in darkness. The only source of light came from the flickering lightbulbs and the occasional flash of lightning that illuminated the entire hall.
I followed the maze of hallways through to the dining room which was already packed with students. The longer I had been at the school, the easier it had become to find my way around and after five days, I could finally make it to the dining hall without getting lost. I considered that a personal achievement, but I still struggled to find my classrooms. Katie had said it took her six months to find her way around.
Katie waved me down the moment she saw me in the doorway and gestured me over to her and Jo who saved a seat for me. Over the past few days, we had become friends and I started to realise that not everyone was friends with me because I was smart. I squeezed in between them, and they pushed a plate of chicken, peas and carrots towards me. Across the room, Victoria smirked. I ignored her, grabbed my cutlery and started to eat.
"Was it bad?" Katie asked after a few minutes.
"Not really. She said I can't not go to my sewing lessons since I already miss sport and I have to do everything she tells me to from now on," I said.
"Sounds like a drag. All of this because you didn't finish your drawing? She was going to go with Victoria's anyway, she always does."
"Miss Feldman doesn't like people disrespecting her. She probably thought that what was what you were doing. Just keep your head down, she can hold a grudge." Jo shrugged.
"Five days in and I've already made an enemy of a teacher."
"It'll be fine. Miss Feldman doesn't like anyone except-"
"-Victoria," I cut in.
"Exactly." Katie grinned at me and shoved a forkful of peas into her mouth.
Victoria had been a thorn in my side for the past few days and I knew she was up to something; I just didn't know what it was. Every time I caught her eye she would smirk and laugh to herself and the other girls in my year refused to look at me. It put me on edge a little more than I would have admitted but Katie told me not to worry about it. She knew Victoria wouldn't do anything that would land her in trouble with Mrs Maddox.
I hoped she was right.
We ate dinner with Katie launching into a story about how she could have died in swimming – she missed a step getting into the pool – but I could still feel Victoria watching me. Michael had taught me that if someone decides to stare, I should stare back until they feel uncomfortable and look away. I had tried that with Victoria, but she didn't appear to give up. She just continued to stare at me until I was the one who grew uncomfortable – and hungry – causing me to look away.
Dinner ended with a dessert of cherry pie and whilst Katie and Jo headed up to Mrs Maddox's office for an end of week briefing, I returned to the dormitory room to work on my new project. The common room was far too busy in the evenings to get any work done and Katie said it would be even worse on a Friday evening. The dormitory, however, was empty when I arrived, and I expected it to stay that way until lights out.
I sat cross-legged on my bed and sorted through the collection of notes I had already taken for my project. Every evening during my first week I would try and get something done and often Katie and Jo would join me. We never spoke all that much, just scribbled away at our work until they had to return to their dormitory. I hadn't told them about my project topic, but the Roman books I had taken from the Library at the start of the week most likely gave them an idea.
Roman history had always fascinated me, and I liked being able to investigate something I was already passionate about for my project. Had we been given our topics I doubt it would have been as much fun. No one else seemed to be putting as much time into their projects, but each to their own. Not everyone found research as fun as I did.
The other girls returned to the dormitory about three hours later, bringing the chatter and laughter that came from the common room. I sighed to myself and packed up my notes and books, tucking them into the bottom on my trunk. Conversations from the others continued as I gathered up my pyjamas from under the pillow and disappeared into the bathroom, changing into them and untying my hair.
I returned to the room, threw my uniform on top of my trunk and ran a brush through my hair. After tying it back in a lot ponytail, I climbed into bed. The other girls moved from the main room to the bathroom, but I ignored them and grabbed the book from my dresser and flicked to the page marked with a ribbon. Everyone else felt the need to spend the last few moments before lights out chatting, but I preferred reading.
"It's time for lights out girls," Miss Jones. She stepped into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
"Already?" Dorothy whined.
"Yes, bed."
Dorothy grumbled something incoherent and pushed herself up from the floor where she had been kneeling beside Louise's bed talking to her. Her long brown hair bounced as she walked back to her bed and collapsed back against it. Miss Jones shook her head slightly, walking down the line of beds as everyone climbed between the blankets. She stopped in front of me and looked down at the pile of clothes on my trunk but said nothing.
The other girls clambered into bed and pulled the blankets up to their chins. I tucked the ribbon in between the pages of the book and placed it on my nightstand, switching off the bedside lamp. Miss Jones walked back down the length of the room to the door and stood beside the light switch.
"Goodnight, girls."
"Goodnight, Mrs Jones."
She flicked the light off, the entire room turning pitch black except for the occasional bolt of lightning across the sky outside. I listened to the sound of the door closing and snuggled further down into the blankets. The occasional whisper broke out among the girls, but I ignored them rolled onto my side. With the roll of the thunder and the rain hitting the window outside echoing through the room, I slowly fell asleep.
It felt as though I had only just fallen asleep when I was suddenly jolted awake again.
Someone clamped their hand over my mouth, and I cried out against it, feeling their breath on the back of my neck. I stared into the darkness, attempting to speak against the hand but failing to get anything other than a muffled sound out. Instead, I did what anyone would have done and licked them.
"Ew! You licked me!" Victoria's voice came from behind me.
"You put your hand in front of my mouth, what else was I supposed to do?" I pushed myself up and blinked against the darkness.
"You're disgusting." She wiped her hand against a handkerchief.
"What do you think you're playing at? It's way after lights out."
"It's time for your initiation."
"My what?"
"Every new girl has to go through an initiation. It's a Maddox Academy tradition."
"Katie never mentioned it."
"She wouldn't. Put some shoes on and a coat and come with us."
I furrowed my eyebrows at her. The storm still rages outside, with the rain falling harder than ever and the wind smashing against the window. Why on earth she would want me to go outside was beyond me. The idea of having to take part in some form of initiation turned my blood cold, especially as the idea had come from Victoria and no one else had even mentioned it.
Victoria looked at me. She was already wearing her shoes and a dark blue coat, as were the other girls who stood around the room. Once again, they refused to look me in the eyes, but I knew Victoria wouldn't let me go back to bed unless I went through with whatever she had planned. It couldn't have been all that bad, Victoria wouldn't risk breaking the rules, especially as she had warned me not to break them myself. She didn't seem like a hypocrite.
She stared down at me as I swung my legs over the side of the bed and slipped my feet into my running shoes, tying the laces as quickly as possible. My cousin's only black coat hung on a peg to the left of the window, so I pushed myself off the bed and grabbed it. After slipping my arms into the sleeves, Victoria wrapped her fingers around my upper arm and dragged me out of the dormitory and into the darkness of the school.
The other girls followed close behind with Dorothy and Louise acting as lookouts to make sure we weren't caught wandering the halls at night. Victoria flexed her fingers on my arm and tightened her grip; I knew she would leave bruises. She dragged me down the main staircase and out the door, the rain bouncing off the gravel and steps.
"This is ridiculous, where are we going?" I asked before she dragged me out into the rain.
"You'll see."
"Why don't you just tell me?"
"That's not the point of the initiation. You aren't supposed to know what it is until we get there."
Her voice was muffled by the wind as she pulled me out into the story and down the front steps. The coat offered no protection from the bitter wind or the rain and I was soaked through in no time at all. That didn't seem to stop Victoria. Even though her hair was dripping wet, but she still pulled me down the side path and towards the swimming pool. My usual sport lessons had transformed into free periods due to my lack of swimming ability and I didn't like where this initiation was going.
She dragged me through the doors to the pool and through a second set of doors that led into the main pool itself, by-passing the changing rooms completely. I looked in front of me at the large rectangle of water, the white tiles at the bottom glared back at me and I couldn't even imagine how deep the water actually was. Victoria didn't release her grip on my arm.
"Your initiation is simple." She paused. "Jump in the pool."
"Wait, you're joking, right? I can't even swim!"
"That's the point. The Maddox Academy initiation is all about confronting something you're afraid of or cannot do. You cannot swim; It only makes sense that your initiation is to jump into the pool."
"Have you lost your mind? I could drown."
"We wouldn't let that happen." I didn't like the look on her face.
"No. I refuse."
"You cannot refuse an initiation. It must be completed for you to be a Maddox girl."
Victoria's nails dug into my skin and she forced me to the edge of the pool. I fought as much as I could, dragging my feet along the tile and trying to wrestle my arm out of her iron-clad grip. She managed to force me to the very edge, but I refused to go in.
I struggled against her grip as she tried to force me forward and into the pool. The other girls stood by the doorway and watched Victoria try to push me in, not stepping in or doing anything to try and help me. Regardless of what they did or didn't do, I refused to end up in the pool by Victoria's hand.
The more I struggled, the harder Victoria found it to hold on. Once her grip lazed, I twisted my arm upwards and yanked it down as hard as I could. She stumbled backwards and almost fell into the pool, but she caught her balance before she went for a late-night bath, Part of me hoped she would have fallen in.
"You're actually insane! You could have killed me! If this is how you treat all the new girls, it's no wonder no one ever passes the exams. They probably all found out what you do to new students and ran scare. You need help if you think that sort of thing is alright."
"Calm down, Felicity. It was only a joke," Dorothy said.
"It wasn't a very funny one."
With that, I pushed passed the other girls and out into the rain, making a quick return to the main school building.
I knew Victoria was bad, but this was something else entirely.
~~~
First Published - June 6th, 2020