Song:
The heart wants what it wants ~Selena Gomez
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"Are you alright, now, babe?" I sniffled and nodded, wiping my eyes. I just want this day to be over. It's barely four and I'm just done with everything. "Okay. I have to run out to my car quickly to grab my phone charger, is that okay?"
"Yeah." I exhaled. "I'm sorry. Don't let me burden you."
"Khlo, you don't burden me. I'm glad that you called, I was actually starting to miss you. Even if it means I get to help you get over that dick, I'm glad you're here." She kissed my cheek in a sisterly way before standing up and slipping on her shoes. "I'll be right back."
"Harp?" She looked to me. "Thank you so much." Smiling back at me, she nodded, before closing the door behind her.
Closing my eyes, a sigh was released from my mouth as I sunk back into the couch.
I've got to figure this out. Figure my life out. I mean, volleyball has been out the window. I don't even think that I'm on the team anymore. I wouldn't doubt if I did get kicked off though because I've only gone to a total of like 10 games and probably at most 20 practices which is really freaking sad when there's practice from Monday to Wednesday every week then games are either on Thursday or on the weekend. It's a shame really.
I'm here at this school because of a damn scholarship and I can't even play the part. The season is ending in maybe two weeks, just before thanksgiving, and I'm not even going to be able to play the last game whether I show up for the rest of the days or not. There is no way in hell that Amy is going to allow that, especially when she hates me already.
On top of that, I now have to figure out how the hell I'm going to survive in that damn dorm of mine with Gemma in the same room and El and Perrie right across the hall.
I don't want to be around any of them until they can all freaking explain to me as to how they all knew and why they didn't tell me. Same goes with those damn frat boys. I don't want any part in that group anymore until my trust can be built back up for each and every single person.
"Gosh...." I breathed out and bit my lip, hearing the door open. "Harper, life's a bitch."
"I'm not Harper, but I certainly will agree with you." A familiar accent rang out through the small dorm as my eyes suddenly popped open and I sat up. I didn't want to turn around, but why the fuck was he in here.
I heard a bunch of bags being placed on the counter before my neck whipped around to see a well built male with shaggy, brown colored hair putting away groceries.
"Uhhh,.. who are you?"
He glanced up to me, smiling. "Sorry, Khloe. My names Ashton." I furrowed my eyebrows, staring at him. He knew my name. How did he know my name?
"Okay, Ashton... what are you doing here and how do you know me?" He looked up again, his smile never leaving his damn sculpted face.
"Everyone knows you." he laughed and I suddenly groaned thinking back to when Niall said that our relationship was now very public. Well, when we actually were the 'power couple'. Blah.
"And I'm the roommate Harper was talking about." he added, his accent sounding like a mix between Luke's with a little American.
"You're Harper's roommate? How? This is a girls dorm.." Just then Harper stepped back into the room.
"Khlo, I-" she turned around after shutting the door, smiling as she took in Ashton's presence. "Hey, fucktard." He smiled and walked over to her, leaning down to kiss her lips. Oh. OH!
"Hey, I was just getting to know the famous Khloe that everyone's been talking about." he smiled, wrapping his hands around her waist. Just about gagging at their affection, I turned around, jealousy taking over the fact that that could be Niall and I right now.
Fuck that, I don't need him.
"Ashton, did you bring home the wine?" I yelled, ready to get this night over with.
"Sure did, babe. It's all yours." Walking back to the counter, he grabbed it out of the bag before bringing it over to the table in front of me, along with a wine glass. I smiled as he popped the cork, handing me the bottle. I wasted no time in pouring the velvet red colored liquid into the glass.
"God, this looks so inviting." I smiled before leaning back on the couch and bringing the contents to the lips.
"Soak it up, baby girl." Harper smiled and I smirked against the glass before allowing the drink to easy glide down my throat.
She came and sat down next to me, telling Ashton to turn some music on. "You guys are crazy." He laughed, pulling his phone from his pocket and plugging it into the doc.
"No. Niall Horan's crazy for doing whatever the hell he did to make my girl upset." Harper scowled.
"He's a dick." I mumbled, pouring another glass. Harper did too, holding her glass in the air as Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus started playing. I held mine up clinking them together.
"To dicks and cheap wine!" I laughed and raised my glass before letting slide down, chasing after all the other sips.
We just giggled and poured glass after glass, quickly draining the bottle. We were dancing and singing and having fun, just the two of us. It felt good to just let go. Harper had momentarily filled that void of emptiness that had replaced Niall.
It felt good to not have to worry and to just leave everything behind for a little while. Complete stress reliever.
-
Burying my face further into the pillow, I awoke in the morning to the smell of hot syrup and scrambled eggs.
Light Ed Sheeran music played in the background, instantly bringing a smile to my face. That was until I rolled over onto my side, only to feel the back of the couch and not Niall's arms. It had been about three days and it really started to hit me that he wasn't going to be there in the mornings to greet me with a soft kiss and smile.
I had to bite my lip from thinking deeper into this before I sat up and pulled the blankets off my lap. These past few days have just been a mess. I made my way into the bathroom, only to find that Mother Nature had made a visit earlier than planned. Sighing, I jumped into the shower, quickly cleaning up.
I poured the white soap into my hand, running it through my hair, scrubbing throughly. Thin streams of water poured over my head, washing the suds down the drain. Next came the conditioner and vanilla body wash which was quickly washed away, also creating a nice little sudsy coat on the bottom of the tub.
With one wrong step, I was quickly lifted into the air and tossed over the side of the tub, taking down the shower curtain and all. A squeal escaped my lips just as I came into contact with hard, marbled tiles.
"Khloe?" Harper entered the bathroom, staring at me with wide eyes and a slightly parted jaw. Letting out a roaring laugh, I soon joined her, rolling over on my back as I wrapped the curtain around my body. Continuing to get sprayed with water, I quickly shielded myself, feeling an ache on my lower back.
Needless to say, today was going to be challenging.
"Why must all bad things happen to me?" I quipped, still laughing.
"Damn, Khlo." she laughed and fully entered, squealing and flinching away from the water, finally being able to turn it off. Laughing harder, I grabbed her foot, watching as she slipped onto her butt, bellowing out in laughter again. "You little shit!" I hit her with the curtain, quickly covering myself as she grabbed a towel, hitting me back.
"Okay!" I screeched, hiding as I felt each impact. "Stop! I give up!" I giggled. She finally stopped, letting out a breath as if beating me with a towel had taken up all her energy.
"Get ready, princess." my smile faltered as my heart suddenly dropped. My mind instantly fled to Niall and I just wanted to cry. Again.
I want to let him explain, but I fear that it's going to make things harder. What if it's even worse than I think? Then seeing him again would just put me back at ground zero. I needed to build myself up enough before I was ready to confront him because I didn't want to hurt any more than I already was. I know that if I just went back, walking away would be twice as hard and I just get crumbled worse.
But.. what if it turns out good?
"Khloe, don't you dare think about that bastard." Her voice was stern and cold like ice.
"I'm sorry, it's just... it's hard."
"I know." She sadly smiled. "Let's go get ready and well go out and do something for a bit, yeah?" Taking the towel from her hands, a nod was given and I was off the floor, putting on my fresh clothes from my little bag that Harper had gathered. I decided to throw on a little make up as well, wanting to look somewhat presentable; although no matter how much cover up I used, the bags under my eyes wouldn't go away. It was as if they were permanently there- a dark, purple warning sign screaming "YES I WAS CRYING FOR DAYS BECAUSE BY BOYFRIEND'S A JERK WHO LIKES TO BET ON ME"!
I bit my lip, trying to focus on what I was doing so I wouldn't think of him and end up crying. I didn't want to cry anymore.
When I was done, I ate a plate of eggs and bacon with a slice of toast. Ashton took off to work for a bit and Harper and I bundled into our heavy jackets, ugh boots, scarves and hats, making our way onto the sidewalk. I felt like a little Eskimo in my puffy jacket. But it was warm in the snowy wind, nonetheless.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets, shuffling the puffy flakes under my boots. We messed around, running as fast as we could then coming to a halt, slipping and sliding around on the slick snow. Harper laughed as I almost fell on my butt, but quickly caught my balance. She grabbed my arm, laughing while holding me up.
"Let's go in here." she giggled, pulling open a glass door. A little bell on the top dung, signaling our arrival. The first store seemed to be a little antique shop, where I bought a few old war books that I thought would be good Christmas presents for my dad next month. He likes that kind of stuff.
The next store was a giant candy shop, where yes, Harper and I easily blew thirty dollars on candy to last us the next few days, maybe even weeks. I couldn't hold back the laugh as the cashier gave us a funny look at our candy selection. We had everything from chocolate candy bars, to sugar sticks, to jaw breakers, to gummies. We had it all.
"Harper, why did you tell her that it was all mine?" I giggled, holding the giant bag that felt like it weighed a million pounds. "You make me look like my dad!" I joked.
"Whatever. Not even your dad buys this much." she teased giggling with me.
"Khloe!" Our giggling was cut off and our feet suddenly stopped moving. Tightly squeezing my eyes together, I turned on my heel to be met with not only Louis, but El, Gem, Harry and Liam.
Louis had his known smile on his lips as he began to walk towards me, while everyone else stayed back, staring at us with sorrowful expressions.
"H-hi, Louis." The center of my palms grew sweaty as the nerves spiked my insides, keeping each part of my body on high alert. I didn't know what to say as he just stood there smiling. "Um.."
"How are ya, babe?" Sneaking his arm around my shoulder, he pulled me into his side, pulling me away from everyone. "We'll be right back!" He yelled to everyone.
"N-no, Louis." I pulled his arm off of me, and he suddenly looked down at me, looking like a small puppy who I'd just scolded for chewing up furniture.
I felt a pang of guilt stab through my chest and I couldn't bare to look at him anymore because I couldn't see the hurt I was causing.
"Can we please just talk, Khlo? You wouldn't give Niall the chance, but please give me one?" He whispered, almost begging. Emphasis on the almost.
"Louis, I.."
"Five minutes. Please." Okay, he was begging now.
"Fine." Sighing, I followed after him. Once we made it into a little store that happened to be a small book store, he dragged me to a small table, sitting down across from me. "Listen, I-"
"No, just hear me out first." I closed my mouth and gave a single nod.
I really had high hopes that this would help work things out. Like higher than the damn Eiffel Tower.
"We knew, yes. You know that. And we now know how bad this really all was. This whole situation is fucked up. The bet, the secrets, the back stabbing, the breaking hearts, all of it." I nodded agreeing with him. "But Khlo, we never meant to hurt you. None of us, including Niall."
"Louis, you guys kept the fact that my boyfriend had a bet on my virginity away from me. All of you had so many times to tell me, even before we became official, and not one of you told me."
"I know, and it was a dick move. But, we were asked not to by Niall because he didn't want to hurt you. After he seen what Luke had done to you, he didn't want to hurt you. He was going to tell you, but then you locked yourself in his bedroom for two/ three days. El was calling you nonstop to explain, but you never answered. Niall then decided to just drop the whole thing and just told us to forget it.
"You need to let him explain why he made it in the first place, but for now, know that it wasn't made to hurt you. It's not what you think. Also, know that we all wanted to help, not hurt you. And you can shut us all out, that's up to you, but please, please, please don't lock Liam out too. He knew, but he didn't agree with it. He was going to tell you, he just I didn't know how."
"He was my best friend, Louis. They're were so many times that he could have explained to me, or at least given me a warning." I closed my eyes, not wanting to start crying. I felt like a damn crybaby recently.
"He told Niall and Luke not to do it. He was the one who told them both to fuck off because he knew how much this was going to hurt you when you found out." He sighed.
"I believe you, Lou, and I'm not going to shut you guys out, I just need some space." I sighed. "This is all so hard for me. Like, I don't even know if Niall and I are together or not.. I'm so confused." Louis' hand snaked out and grabbed mine, running soothing circles over my palm. "At first, I didn't want anything to do with him, but now that it's been days, it's been getting harder. I'm supposed to be getting stronger, and this is supposed to be easier, but it's not. It's harder and all I want to do is just wrap myself up in him." I felt the first tear run down my cheek and like a flash of lightning, Louis was pulling me up and pulling me into him.
"Hey, don't cry." he soothed.
"I just... he didn't even fight for me, Louis. He just let me go. And I know that I'm stubborn and that I didn't want to see him, but it's been three days and I haven't even got a simple text. He's blocked me on Instagram and it's like he just completely deleted me out of his life." I cried harder.
"Hey, Khlo." his fingers tangled through my hair, pulling my head up to look at him. He wiped the running mascara to the side, caressing my cheeks. "He's not deleting you from his life. He's giving you space. Like you said, you need it."
"How do you know?" I mumbled.
"Trust me. Just give him a call." Louis kissed my forehead, wiping my eyes once more before pulling me into his side again. I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder as we exited the small book store.
Everyone was huddled up, laughing together, bundling in from the cold. Gemma was the first to notice us as she stopped laughing and walked towards us. Guilt fled her beautiful eyes, and I quickly let go of Louis to pull her into a hug. Her arms wrapped around me, her head leaning on my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry."
"Gemma, it's not okay, but I'm not holding it against you." I whispered.
"I miss you." I felt a smile tug at my lips.
"I miss you guys too." she pulled away and smiled and I smiled back before giving her one last hug.
After I was done with Gem, I walked over to Liam, making sure to pull him into a bone crushing hug. His arms tightened around my shoulders, holding me closer. "I'm sorry, Khlo. I love ya." he whispered.
"I love you too, Liam." I mumbled, leaning up on my toes to kiss him on the cheek.
"Are ya okay?"
I pulled away and wiped my eyes again. "Yeah, I'm fine." Giving a soft smile, he returned it, kissing the top of my head.
"You guys will fix this, yeah?"
"I really hope, Liam. I really hope." he smiled and hugged me again before Harper made her way over to my side.
"Okay, well we have to run, see you in a bit, yeah?" Everyone nodded. I gave Liam another hug before making my way over to Harry and El. Gemma and Louis came next, and then we were headed back towards our dorms.
I held onto Harper, telling her everything Louis told me on our journey back. Talking about it helped calm me for some reason. It gave me assurance that maybe, just maybe, Niall and I would be okay.
Man I hope.
I plopped on her couch, just as a text vibrated my phone. All the nerves bundled in my stomach as I noticed the little, five lettered name pop up.
Niall now
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Hope you guys had a Merry or Happy Christmas/ Hanukkah. I love you! Xx