“So,” Mark said.
“This is going to be a very long drive if you insist on speaking to me,” I told him still looking out the window. “I have no interest in learning anything about you or sharing any information on myself so you’re best off just turning on the radio to which you will not sing to and remain silent the whole drive if the matter pertains to useless trivia or chitchat.”
He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Okay then.” He turned on the radio to some pop station and for maybe an hour the car remained silent except for it. But Mark, as it seems, is not the type of person to remain silent for any extended period of time. “Why the Blue Thorn pack?” he asked.
“I am a Rogue. That is where Rogues go.” I didn’t offer anything else.
“Peter would–”
I cut him off. “Do not talk to me about Peter.”
“He’s you’re mate Luna Violet.”
Luna Violet. “I am not your, or anyone else’s Luna,” I whispered. “And what do you know of mates?” I didn’t want an answer and Mark didn’t supply one.
This is going to be an extremely long drive.
“We’re here.”
“I saw that,” I replied getting out and was immediately hit by Kaylie. “Hi Kaylie,” I gasped.
She pulled back to glare at Mark. “You! What the hell are you doing here? We only want Violet.”
“He’s my escort Kaylie,” I said. “He’s not staying.”
“Oh,” she said. “Good. You’re room is set up by the way. All your stuff is here.”
“Thanks Kaylie,” I said grabbing my backpack and suitcase. “Bye Mark.”
Mark looked at Kaylie and Jared. “Peter trusts them to keep you safe?”
It hurt so much to here his name. “My safety is no longer your concern to question. Go home Mark.” I went inside with Kaylie right behind me.
“He hurt you,” she said quietly. “Don’t say he didn’t because I can see it. He hurt you, badly.”
I leaned, more like fell, against the wall. “I think I’ve hurt him more.”
“I. Don’t. Care,” Kaylie told me. “You’re in pain Violet. Because of him.”
“I’m in pain because of myself.” I took a few deep breaths but ever since I walked out of the room it felt like my lungs couldn’t get enough air and I couldn’t get the weight off of my chest. I slid to the floor and hugged my knees. “I didn’t realize how painful this would be.”
Kaylie kneeled down next to my and put her arms around me. “I’m so sorry sweetie.”
I shook my head. “I can feel his pain Kaylie. It’s my fault he’s in pain. I can’t be with him but his pain’s more unbearable than I thought.”
Kaylie kissed my temple. “I won’t promise you anything because I don’t know. Talk to Cole, Violet, he knows about this. Maybe he can help.”
I turned my head to look at her. “Do I even deserve help?”
“I think you do,” a third voice answered. Cole. He stood at the other end of the hall. “That idiot let you go. Bastard.”
“He did it for me,” I whispered. “He doesn’t deserve blame here Cole. Had his mate been anyone then everything would be perfect.”
“Had his mate been anyone else,” Cole replied, “he would miss out. I can promise you that he doesn’t regret it if he has any sense because even a sec with you no matter the pain would be worth it.”
“Then tell me something Cole,” I murmured. “Do you feel the same of your mate?”
Cole sat down across from us. “Violet my mate is human. When I met her she was already married to another human. I was with her for a month before I found out and when I confronted her she was… I refused to have an affair with a married woman no matter the situation. She was more than happy to run back to her husband as though her hands were clean. When you asked me if I hated her I told you the situations were different and I meant it. You care about Peter where as my mate did not care about me. You are caring and considerate. My mate was well a selfish bitch.”
“I do not approve of calling people such things,” I said softly. “It’s like growling. I found that I strongly disliked growling.”
Cole smiled, “Thanks for proving my point.”
“Do you even curse?” Kaylie asked amused.
Do I? “I…” I thought about it. “I can’t say that I do.”
Kaylie laughed. “You’re sixteen years old and you’ve never cursed?”
“It’s mean,” I replied meekly.
“You should try it,” Cole said.
I opened my mouth, shut it, and then shook my head. Kaylie laughed and kissed my cheek. “You really are just so sweet!”
I rubbed my cheek. “I find that I resent both your tone and the word sweet in reference to me.”
Cole stood and pulled me up. “God Violet it’s been boring without you here.”
I laughed once. “I missed you guys.” I can… I won’t be happy here I know that but I can make a life here. I can make the pain a little more bearable and with this world that’s really all you can ever ask. I will never have my fairytale ending because they are lies. If Cinderella’s shoe really did fit her then why did it fall off?
I got up off the floor. You’ve survived your past before Violet and you can do it again. At least I hope you can…
Day passed day until a week had passed and the pain was just as strong and showed no sign of ever fading even a little. But as the days pass I learned how to live with the pain that is until Christmas came.
“What is this?” I asked looking down at the thing that Kaylie had thrust into my arms.
“It’s a present. For Christmas?”
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the dreadful tree. “It’s Christmas?”
Jared shook his head slowly. “That is just sad, Kayla. Even for you. Yes, it’s Christmas.”
I pushed the wrapped gift towards Kaylie. “I don’t celebrate Christmas. Take it back.”
“It’s for you,” Kaylie said. “Open it.”
I shook my head at her. “I do not want it Kaylie. I told you I don’t celebrate Christmas.”
“Well then let us celebrate,” Cole said. “Look we bought presents because we want to celebrate. You just have to open it and pretend you don’t hate what we got you so we can enjoy the holiday.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “You make it sound as though I’m doing you a favor and yet it feels like some sneaky little way to get me to celebrate this.”
Cole rolled his eyes at me as though I were the one being foolish. Yeah. I’m the foolish one her. “Are you really that untrusting of me?”
“Uh, yes,” I said truthfully. “Are you kidding I know you Cole. You are disturbingly good at tricking people into things.”
“I’m touched,” he replied holding a hand over his heart mockingly. “No I really am. That’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. Truly.”
“You are a freak Cole,” Kaylie said and turned back to me. “Just open the damn present before I order you too.”
I pressed my lips together and dropped down on the couch next to Cole. “I don’t like any of you right now.”
“Just open it,” Kaylie said.
She reminded me of Peter every Christmas. It hurt but for once it was in a good way. I nodded and carefully opened the gift. It was black and soft. I lifted it up and saw it was a shawl. “Thanks,” I said softly.
She shrugged, “I didn’t really know what to get you besides something black.”
I smiled, “It’s… nice Kaylie.”
“Open ours too before you go giving her all the credit,” Cole said handing me his gift. It was a charm bracelet. Jared gave me an IPod.
Then Kaylie handed me a fourth gift. “It doesn’t say who it’s from.”
It didn’t have to. I knew whom it was from before I opened it. The package wasn’t large but then with him it never was. I ran my fingertips over the black velvet box before opening it. It was a silver ring to match the necklace and as I picked it up I thought of him. He does love his little reminders.
“You’re crying,” Jared said with a frown in his voice.
I sniffed and wiped my cheek smiling softly. Cole put his arm around me being the only one to see the ring. “Don’t worry Jared,” Cole said. “She’s okay.”
I put my head in his neck my hand closing around the ring. Cole’s arms encircled me and he rubbed my back. “I miss him,” I whimpered.
“I know,” Cole murmured into my hair. “I know.” He wrapped his hand around mine and I turned my head to look at it. He opened my hand and slipped the ring onto my right ring finger. “If you want I can take you to see him.”
I shook my head. “I promised myself I wouldn’t go back. I promised myself I’d give him a clean break. He deserves at least that much.”
“I don’t think he wants a clean break,” Cole said.
I sighed and stood up. “This is the reason I don’t celebrate,” I sniffed before running up to my room. Once again I ruin a happy day with tears and a sob story.
I picked up my cell phone and dialed the number I knew better than the spelling of my name because I’ve spent so lone trying not to dial, I’ve almost done it a million times since I left everyday. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hello?” I closed my eyes and took in his voice. “Violet,” he said knowingly. “I know you won’t answer.” Smart boy. “You got my gift. You wouldn’t be calling otherwise. I still see you, my little Violet.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Violet.” I felt more tears roll down my cheeks. “I miss you baby girl. You can visit anytime you want. Merry Christmas, Violet, I love you.”
I wanted him to keep talking. I wanted to say something so he would keep talking. He waited a moment before sighing and the line went dead. I clutched the phone to my chest and sob. “I miss you, Peter. You have no idea how much I miss you.” I think… I think there are moments that change your life. In that particular moment I realized that I may not be in love with Peter but I had feelings that weren’t for my best friend growing up. I might not be in love with Peter but I think I was close to loving him as I could ever be for loving someone and it hurt so much. It hurt so very much.