Thank you so much for your patience. Between the world imploding and general life stress, this chapter took me forever. I hope you like it!
**
Bobby awoke groggy, but optimistic.
Lili still slept soundly, wrapped in his arms and he stroked the curves of her face. Even quiet in sleep, she filled him with wild, reckless emotion. He wanted to pull her close and never let her go. He wanted to wake her and make love. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him over and over.
But he had work to do.
He'd never asked a girl to be exclusive in a straightforward way. He always chose to be cute and coy. "Maybe I kinda don't wanna date anyone else right now," sort of thing. Leaving plenty of room to backpedal if the girl wasn't interested. But Lili deserved something more than that, something honest and definitive.
He pulled himself out of bed, feeling the loss of her body like a missing limb. She'd been tossing and turning all night and the bedding was in disarray. He stopped to cover her feet with the blanket before making his way to the kitchen.
Magic cupcakes weren't the solution, but maybe a little sweetness could ease them into the conversation they needed to have. He sifted through his baking cupboard to see what he had to work with. The producers had restocked since the last time he'd baked. There were tins of fruit filling, small bottles of liqueur, a jar of lemon curd. Lots of chocolate. It was a bit like being on a cooking show where they gave you mystery ingredients and you had to turn them into something delicious.
Chocolate was definitely the way to Lili's smile. Working fast, he made fudgy chocolate cupcakes filled with pink champagne cream, topped with a shiny layer of ganache. Using the ganache as a flat canvas he meticulously piped the outline of two otters holding hands on each cupcake.
Smiling, he chose the one he'd piped the best and plated it, but it didn't seem quite enough. He looked around the kitchen. There was a floral arrangement on the table of hot pink daisies and dainty bubblegum pink roses. He picked out the least wilted hot pink daisy and some baby's breath. After washing them, he arranged them on the plate beside the cupcake. Perfect. He covered the plate and took it to the bedroom. Lili was still asleep even though everyone else was awake and shuffling around mostly conscious. He sat it on the bedside table and headed upstairs. He wanted to stay and see her reaction, but some part of him said it was a bad idea to linger. She deserved to enjoy it without the burden of his ego getting in the way.
After a long hot shower, he wrapped the towel around himself and headed downstairs. The bedroom was empty except for Lili, bent over the cubby, refolding his pile of shirts from the night before. The daisy he'd picked out was tucked haphazardly in her curls. His heart raced looking at it and he circled the bed and wrapped her in his arms.
Instinctively it seemed, she curled hers around his neck, "You're all wet."
"I'm giving you a pre-shower," he said.
"What if I'd already showered?"
"It would be a shower before your next shower. A post pre-shower...shower."
"You don't know how words work." She laughed as he rubbed his wet locs on her cheek.
"Too true." He ran his fingers over the petals of the daisy in her hair. "You look so beautiful in the mornings. If it weren't for the cupcakes, I would have stayed in bed with you all day."
She raised an eyebrow. "Bobby, I haven't showered, I'm still in my pyjamas and my hair is a frizzy mess."
"Doesn't matter. You're still gorgeous." He played with one of her messy curls. "So..."
"So." She gently pulled out of his embrace. "Thank you for my cupcake. It was delicious." She picked up the shirts intent on putting them away, but she stopped pushing them in. With her free hand she reached into the shelf and pulled out the pink neon heart he'd stuck there the day before. She gave him a questioning look.
"I fished it from the pool. A souvenir."
She flushed and looked away. "You wanted a souvenir of me losing my temper?"
"No. Of our first fight. It's a milestone."
She fought a smile and lost, her dimples flashing. "I suppose it is." She slid it back into the cubby and sat heavily on the bed. "Is this how you usually get out of fights? Cuteness and baked goods?"
He sat beside her, adjusting his towel to keep it in place. "Honestly, you're the first girl I've ever fought with."
"I refuse to believe you haven't infuriated another girl to the point of mayhem." Her expression was serious, but her lip twitched, and he laughed.
"Believe it or not, I haven't. You're just special." She snorted and he reached for her hand, sliding his fingers between hers. "How are you feeling today?"
She was quiet a moment. "I don't know." Her foot jiggled anxiously, and her ankle bracelet tinkled a tuneless song. "I really don't." Suddenly she let go of his hand and stood. "I need to take a shower."
"Hey." He reached for her and tugged her close. "I'm not trying to push you. I just wanted to know if you were alright. Last night was brutal. Hope was out of line."
Her stormy eyes softened. "I'm sorry—I..." She stepped closer and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his cheek to her stomach. She held him, her nails trailing gently up and down the back of his neck. Her tenderness overwhelmed him, and he squeezed her tighter. She sighed softly and stroked a loc off his forehead. "What am I gonna do with you, Pastry Chef?"
Fall for me and never stop falling. He forced those words back down from where they'd been hiding in his throat. Jesus Christ. No. "I dunno," he said, his voice creaky.
"Me neither." She leaned down and hesitated a moment. He looked up at her, unsure what she'd do. He kept his hands where they'd been around her waist, afraid to move. She seemed as skittish as a lost kitten and he feared sending her running.
She stared down at him as if she were trying to decipher a puzzle. Maybe now was the time to tell her how much she meant to him. And that he wanted things to be official so they could both relax and enjoy what they had. He'd have preferred something elaborate and showy, since she didn't mind that, but maybe a quiet moment was better.
He reached up and stroked her chin. "Lil, I wan—"
"Please kiss me," she whispered.
He lost all his words. All his intentions. He pulled her closer and cupped her jaw, closing the distance between them. His mouth found hers and he kissed her tenderly, savouring every second of sweet softness. Every second of renewed hope for another chance.
Her fingers dug into his locs. Sparks sizzled in his head and he hugged her tighter. She dropped onto his lap and he fell backward onto the bed, dragging her with him. They kissed for ages. He stroked his hands up and down her back. He was so damned happy just to be touching her, and to be touched by her.
Finally, she pulled away and flopped onto her back. He turned to face her. "Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?" he asked.
"I was just wondering the same thing about you."
"No idea." He played with her frizzed curls. "Do you remember your first kiss?"
"I do. But you hardly learn to be a good kisser from the first one, do you? That comes later, with a little experience. Or maybe good chemistry."
"Tell me about the first one anyhow."
She hesitated, opening her mouth and closing it. He could read the sudden unease in her eyes, and it stung like a swarm of wasps. Back in the Hideaway she'd trusted him with her stories. But now she wasn't sure if she should. He swallowed and reached for her hand.
She stared down at their entwined fingers and nodded. "It's a silly story."
"Those are my favourite kind."
"Alright." She laughed self-consciously, her cheeks blazing prettily. "Um, I didn't have my first kiss until I was nineteen. He was the cashier at the shop near my hall of residence. Very sweet. He said he was having friends over to his flat to watch Mystery Science Theater and invited me. I was so excited because I didn't know anyone else who watched the show. I had no idea that it was a date, like."
"Oh no."
"I was such a muppet. I came straight from dance class, sweaty and wearing trackies. Of course, none of his mates showed up."
"Classic creeper moves. You didn't marry this lad?"
"Ha. We watched the show and he made a move and I was shocked. But I went with it. I'm sure he was disappointed by my lack of skill. And technique. And general comfort." She covered her face with her hand. "I was so awkward. But he hung in there. We snogged for a while and then he..." She rolled her eyes.
"Don't tell me he went for the diddies."
"If that means he grabbed a tit, then yes. I didn't know what to do. I sat up and yelled, 'I have to study!' Like a total div." She shook her head and groaned. "Poor la, he was so confused. But he walked me to the door and I... I shook his hand like we'd had a job interview. Was home by nine. I had to change shops to avoid him after that." Her cheeks were nearly scarlet. "How about you?"
His face burned, probably as red as hers. "This was a bad idea."
"I told you mine! You have to tell me yours!"
He laughed nervously. "Okay, okay. Apparently, it was at a party. There was a girl from school, she'd liked me since we were teenagers. And I obviously had no idea, because, well..." He gestured toward himself.
"Stop it. You're gorgeous. Inside and out."
He studied her. "Even when you're mad at me?"
"Even then," she said without hesitation.
His heart flipped in the meltiest way, and he loved it. "You're bonnie." He thought for a moment. "I was nearly eighteen."
"Really?"
"I swear. And I was pure steamin. Had way too much tonic wine and I could barely stand. The whole night was a blur to be honest. She was pretty disappointed the next day when she texted me and I had to admit that I didn't remember any of it."
"Poor girl. Did you make up for it and kiss her sober?"
"No. I was awkward too." He pulled her closer and nuzzled her nose. "So, tell me about those trackies you were wearing. Were they grey?"
"Very," she murmured. "And stained purple from painting a dance prop."
"Mmm, hot." He brushed his lips against hers. "I hope your hair was a mess."
"It was. And I'd had tuna for lunch."
"It just gets better," he said, laughing against her mouth. Desperate for more of her smiles, he kissed her all over her face, smooching her cheeks and temples and forehead. She laughed and her nose scrunched up, her eyes shining like tempered chocolate. It was so beautiful. He searched that smile and found what he was looking for.
Her light was back.
Not as bright or vivid as before, but it was there. Relief, so intense it made his eyes burn, overwhelmed him. He kissed her. Her light was sweeter than a warm cupcake and as decadent as cold champagne. He savored the taste of her glow, letting it fill him up until he could feel it in every part of his body.
They kissed until the glow turned to sparks, and the sparks to flames. He slid a hand into her hair and tugged her head back to trail his mouth beneath her chin. She cupped his hand over her breast, and he groaned against her neck as he stroked the achingly hard nipple beneath her pyjama top.
His cock pushed at the constraint of the towel he was wearing, pulling it loose and reminding him where they were. He reluctantly sat up. "We'd better stop or I'm going to end up naked here."
She bit her lip and her eyes trailed down his body. Without warning she straddled him again and kissed him with the kind of heat that made his head near to exploding. Her fingers slid into his locs, making him shiver, as she licked her way down, until her mouth was hot on his neck. He moaned as she ran her tongue over the purple mark she'd made in the Hideaway. Her hips rocked against his and he gripped her ass, arching to meet her. God, he wanted her so much.
He glanced around the room. They were alone, though he could hear people chatting outside, probably in the kitchen. Well, if they were quiet, they would be fine. He looked back at her, and something in her eyes, something sad, slowed him.
They weren't fine.
The intrusive thought rushed in like an ocean wave and wouldn't recede. They shouldn't be doing this when she hadn't told him what she wanted. For a few minutes they'd been able to go back to their easy bants, but the truth was, they were still fractured.
He pulled back. "We should talk about—"
"No talking," she said, grinding against him.
He tried to slow her hips. To keep his head. "But if you're still upset, I don't know if we should..."
She stilled. "If you don't want to, we can stop."
"It's not that I don't want to. I do. I..." The words he needed to say, they were just beneath the surface, and refusing to come up for air.
She reached between them and stroked him beneath the towel. Her teeth tugged on his earlobe. "I need you," she whispered.
A stronger lad would have insisted that they discuss what was happening between them. Were they together? Not together? Did she want to be his girlfriend? But he didn't say any of those things.
He needed her too.
Without letting go of each other they somehow made it beneath the covers, a condom in hand. There was no time for slow sweet love making like what they had in the Hideaway. But there was something sexy about it being rushed and frantic. All tongues and fingers and fear of being caught in the daylight. She climbed on top and slid him inside. Oh, it was so good with her. She ground down on him and he tugged on her nipples, rolling them between his fingers, making her cry out softly. He wished he had the time to really give her body all the attention he wanted. She rode him hard and fast and before long he felt himself tightening. Oh fuck.
"Lass," he moaned. His hand slipped between their bodies and he stroked her. "Slow down so I can make you come."
She didn't slow her hard rhythm. "No. Just fuck me till I forget everything else," she whispered.
He groaned at her sweet demand and peered over the edge of the bedding. The room was still empty. He flipped her onto her back and pushed both bed pillows under her ass. "I can do that. Tell me if it's too much." He pulled her legs up high on his back. "It's going to be deep."
He pressed his forehead to hers. Instead of thrusting, he rolled his hips, grinding against her centre slowly. Her nails dug into his shoulders and her hips kept raising up, trying to force him to pump, but he shook his head and continued his deep friction, making slow circles with his hips
"Oh my god, oh—" She quivered beneath him and gave up all pretense of being quiet as the pressure built. Her whimpers and cries bounced around the room and he had to kiss her to stifle the sound. "Please," she moaned prettily against his mouth. "Please, Bobby."
Her sweet sounds were driving him mad. Fuck it was so hot. But somewhere in the back of his head, he recognized voices much closer than the kitchen. Dammit. Would they never have any privacy?
A cry broke from her and he pressed his fingers lightly to her mouth. "Baby girl, you gotta quiet down." She nodded and shifted to suck on his fingertips. For a moment she made no sound other than soft exhalations. But something was off. Some of the tension had left her body. She still held him, but there was a reserve in it that hadn't been there before.
He pulled back, looking at her as much as he was able in the dim light beneath the covers. She looked so self-conscious, her teeth digging into her lower lip, trying to hide the sounds of her pleasure. Fuck. He'd done what her ex had done, hadn't he? Made her anxious and ashamed of her enthusiasm. That was unacceptable. He loved her intensity and noise and playfulness. He loved her need for more and harder and yes yes yes. His passionate girl deserved to have that.
Still grinding deep inside of her, he bit her neck. "Fuck the villa," he growled. "Fuck everything. Let all of Mallorca hear you. Make noise, Lil." Her arms tightened around him, but she hesitated. Stroking her cheek tenderly, he looked deep into her dark eyes and gave a sharp, hard thrust. She cried out and her heels dug into his back. He moaned a touch louder than he normally would have. "Aye, just like that."
She arched up to meet him and their bodies crashed together like careless cymbals. He didn't back away from the intensity, going hard and deep until her moans had returned and surpassed their previous volume. Fuck yes. He leaned down and bit her earlobe. "I wanna hear you come, lass."
She tightened so hard he saw spots. "That's it," he growled out, driving deeper. Her nails dug into his back and scraped down his arms as she shattered like sugar glass beneath him. The delicious sting and her trembling sob sent him tumbling over the edge. He kissed her carelessly as pleasure rippled like ocean waves just before they slammed into the shore. With a cry of his own, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and shuddered, losing himself inside of her.
They stayed locked together, heads nestled against each other, breathing heavily. He stroked the now crushed flower in her hair. "You've truly ruined me for all other girls."
"Mmm," she murmured, kissing his jaw. "Good." After a moment, her legs loosened from his back and she groaned.
Laughing he moved off and gently pulled the pillows from under her. Then he flipped the bedding off their faces, letting the cool air rush over them as he kissed her slow and sweet, baring his most tender feelings with every sweep of his lips.
From outside, they heard giggles and laughter and pool splashing. He stroked her cheek. "I think someone heard us. Probably everyone, honestly."
"Oh my god, I know." She groaned and buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm so loud. I'm sorry."
"Don't you dare be sorry. It was sexy as fuck." He scraped his teeth beneath her ear and she whimpered. "Give me about ten minutes and I'll bend you over the sofa, and really give them a show."
"Noooooo." She smiled, but her brows drew together. "That idea shouldn't turn me on, should it?"
He grinned."Oh it should, ya naughty girl."
"Seriously though, how are we gonna face everyone, like?"
"With big smiles," he said, kissing her softly. She laughed and squeezed his arm. It stung and he pulled back. "Och. What was that?"
She gave him an abashed look. "I scratched you a bit. I'm so sorry."
He strained his neck to look at the back of his arm. Angry red scratches ran down his tricep. The stinging was higher too. He flipped onto his side and looked back at her. "Woman, am I bleeding?"
"Um, no. Not really. Mostly. A little maybe." She giggled and buried her face between his shoulder blades. "I'm sorry."
"You don't sound sorry," he said, trying to hide his smile.
"Yes, well, neither do you."
He flipped over and kissed her. "I'm not. After all that noise? I'm a god amongst men right now."
"Ugh, heaven save me from the ego of a Scotsman." She slid her clothes back on under the blanket. "Come on. I'll fix you up."
They headed upstairs. In the bathroom, he turned to look at himself in the mirror. Holy hell. There were deep scratches across his upper back and down the backs of both arms. Some really were bleeding. "Ooooh wow."
She bit her lip. "It's your fault, Mister 'I want to make you come.'"
"Victim blaming, Lili?"
Barking a laugh, she set about cleaning up his wounds. "I'd feel worse about it, but that orgasm was so good my toes are still tingling."
He tried not to look smug and knew he failed. "I turned you into a proper wildcat," he said. She kissed him and gave a little snort growl that was so cute it hurt.
Should he ask her? She was all loved up and glowing. They'd broken the chilly barrier between them, and he wanted it to stay gone. He stood there contemplating it, as she cleaned up and got dressed. As they headed down the stairs, he grabbed her hand.
"I was thinking about something," he said.
She raised her eyebrows. "Sounds serious. What is it?"
"Well, I was thinking that we've got something spec—"
"Whoooooo!" Chelsea's shout stopped them, as they stepped outside. Most of the villa was gathered just outside the doorway. Applauding.
Lili's bronze skin turned vermillion and his own face burned with crimson fire.
"That was some show, kids!" Gary pretended to bow down to them.
Lottie smirked. "I'm kind of surprised you can even walk after that, Lili."
"Serious BDE," Jakub said.
"Oh my god." Lili covered her face with her hands, body shaking with mortified laughter.
"Lili, you lucky girl," Priya purred. She gave a playful smirk but when her eyes caught Bobby's, he was surprised to see something shimmering almost like pain. What was that? It was gone so fast he wasn't sure he'd truly seen it.
"You've done Scotland proud, Bobby." Marisol said, her usually serious expression breaking into laughter. "Though, the church might consider you married now..."
He held Lili close and laughed. "Okay okay, you've had your fun. Sorry-not-sorry for the...disturbance." He draped an arm over her shoulder and steered her away from the group, which dispersed jovially.
"Everyone we've ever met is going to see and hear that, aren't they?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Sometimes I forget about the cameras..." She put her hands over her mouth again. "Oh my god. My coworkers..."
"Dunno if this makes it better or worse, but Chelsea told me that the world has seen a good amount of our naughty behavior."
"So much worse," she groaned.
"On the upside, we're a very popular couple."
"So. Much. Worse."
He laughed and pulled her close again. "Come on," he whispered in her ear. "There's a part of you that's turned on by this."
She looked up at him and scraped her teeth over her lower lip. "Maybe. A little. But also embarrassed."
"Me too. But I definitely want to do it again. I think my kink might be applause."
Her shoulders rose and fell with the force of her laughter. "That's a surprise to absolutely no one, la."
He breathed in happily and pressed a kiss to her neck as they made their way to the kitchen. "Why don't I make you a brew?"
"Oh, I'd love that. You make the best cuppa." She thought for a moment. "Can I have another cupcake, too?"
Before he could answer, her steps faltered. Noah and Hope were in the kitchen and the air was thick with tension.
"That's not what I'm saying." Noah reached for Hope's hand. "I understand why you're upset, bu—"
"No, you don't." Hope stiffened as her gaze scraped over Lili, who took a step backward. Without another word, Hope shot to her feet and stomped away, toward the pool.
"Fucking hell," Noah said, scrubbing at his face. He stared at Lili for a moment and then his eyes skirted away from her. "I'd better go."
Lili nodded. "Yeah."
He started to go and then turned back. "It's not that I don't want to—"
"I understand."
"It's just...I'll talk to her."
Lili shook her head. "Please don't. She's entitled to her boundaries. Let her have them."
"But it's not fair to—"
"I'll be fine. But she's not fine and I..." She crossed her arms. "I understand why. Don't try to make her see my side. She can't right now. She's hurting too much."
"But why? Why is she so upset?"
"I can't say. But she is and you need to be gentle with her."
"But it makes no sense!" His raised voice bounced around the kitchen. It was the most emotion Bobby had seen out of the man.
Lili's mouth tightened. "Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it's senseless."
"That's exactly what it means. If it didn't mean that, then you could tell me that you're riding blueberries to the moon today and I wouldn't question it. But that's stupid." His expression darkened as he slapped his hands together. "Sense is sense."
"The world isn't that black and white." She narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips and Bobby was reminded of her expression right before she knocked the wine bucket to the ground.
"It actually is," Noah said.
"No. It's not. She's a human, not one of your books with a neat storyline and clear motivations. Humans are full of complexities and unreasonable feelings. Don't expect everyone to be a robot just because you insist on pretending to be one." Bobby looked at her with shock.
"I just want her to be reasonable," Noah said. "That doesn't make me a robot."
"I swear to Christ..." She pointed her finger at him. "You're just as obstinate as she is, you know that? What you think doesn't matter here. Stop trying to make her see reason and just give her space to feel her fucking feelings, Noah!"
He stared knives at her, and she stared them back. Finally, he threw his arms out and stormed off.
What the hell was that? A bubbling worry floated around Bobby's chest. He hadn't had time to process it the night before, but Noah had definitely been grafting on Lili in front of everyone. Hope hadn't been wrong about that.
She sighed and dropped heavily onto the bar stool, resting her head in her hands. He wrapped his arms around her from the back and she sagged against him. He kissed the side of her head. "What can I do for you, lass?"
"I'd love that brew."
"One Lili special coming up. Heavy on the vanilla syrup and light on the tea." He gave her a squeeze before heading to the cooker. They were both quiet as he worked. While the water heated, he plated another cupcake and grabbed another hot pink daisy and sat it beside the plate. She grinned and slid it into her hair. He pushed the mug of tea in front of her and sat on the stool beside hers.
"So, you keep saying that you understand why Hope's so upset. Care to share? Because I really want to go have a word with her about the way she's treating you."
"No!" Her eyes were huge. "What is it with men thinking they can just force things to be alright when they're not?"
He took a step back, anxiety ticking inside of him like a kitchen timer. Was that what he was doing? Trying to force something to be alright when it wasn't? The ticking sped up. He pushed it back and gave her a cheery smile he didn't feel. "Is this another fight? Because we're eventually gonna run out of space in the cubby for the mementos."
She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, they were glistening. "I'm sorry babe." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I didn't mean to snap at you." She threw her head back and took a breath. "I'm not like this. It usually takes a lot to upset me, but here I feel so... I don't know. This place is making me crazy."
"Yeah, I know that feeling." He lifted her hand and kissed it. "It's fine."
Silence rested between them for a moment, but he could feel her trying to sort out what she wanted to say next. "I just... Today. Last night. Standing up for me, it's... sweet. But I've always taken care of myself and I'm quite capable of it."
"I know that. You're tougher than making French meringue in Scotland."
Her brows scrunched together. "Um, thank you?"
"See, French meringue looks simple. It's just sugar and egg whites and cream of tartar, right? But it's fussy. You can ruin it in a dozen ways before you ever put it in the oven, and even if you get everything right, if you make it on a humid day you have to bake it for hours on low heat and you'll likely overcook it. Which is a problem because Scotland is humid as hell. That's why we're so sarcastic. We're a country full of damp people who have to eat weepy meringues."
She stared at him, her lips pressed together as if her mouth was full of liquid, and her shoulders hitched from the force of holding in her laugh. Then it burst out in a series of joyful wheezes. Her smile was like staring at the sun through a crystal prism. Bright and soft and full of color. She laughed, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to put that smile on her face every single day for the rest of his life.
Finally, she waved her hands in the air and took a few deep breaths. "Oh my god, a meringue hurt you, didn't it?"
He couldn't hold back his own smile. "Aye. My sister wanted pavlova for her birthday. Of course, it rained all morning. I spent an entire day and made three of them. Not one turned out. We ended up picking up a lemon cake from Sainsburys."
"It still stings, doesn't it?"
"I know you're slagging me, but it does."
Once she had herself under control, she wiped the tears from the edges of her eyes. "Oh, that was such a tangent. I loved it." She sighed. "What was I even talking about?"
"Um, that you're a tough independent lass, and you don't need no man standing up for you."
"You're damn right." She picked up her fork and traced the otters on the cupcake. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, though. I appreciate that you want to protect me. No one has ever done that for me before."
"But they should have." She rolled her eyes. "Hear me out," he said. "It's not because you can't take care of yourself. You can. But what's the point of being together if you're not going to protect each other?"
"I—" Her shoulders sagged. "I can't argue with that."
"Too right you can't." He grinned at her. "Now back to the point before you started ranting about meringue."
"Um, that was you."
"No. No. That doesn't seem right. Anyway, we were talking about Hope. What the hell is going on?"
Her expression clouded. "It's her story to tell."
"But she told you on camera though, right? The world knows. And we'll all know when we leave here. So please help me understand."
Curls of steam from the tea caressed her face as she considered it. Finally, she nodded. "Hope was engaged to a guy once."
"Really? Why can't I picture that?"
"Because she's so brittle now. But she was a lot younger and more trusting back then. I won't give you all the details, but they'd been together for a long time. He started acting strange, and in typical Hope fashion, she went full Lemonade on him. Noticing lies. Creeping on his social media. She finally got hold of his phone and found out he was cheating and had been for a while."
As angry as he was at Hope, his heart twisted to think of her young and hurting. "How can someone do that to another person? It's horrible." He thought for a moment. "It was a friend, wasn't it?"
"Her best friend since primary school." She fiddled with the handle of her mug. "She didn't just lose her fiancé and her best friend. She lost her ability to trust people. With boys, it's like, forget it. As soon as she catches real feelings she starts looking for the exit. And it's taken her years to get to the point of trusting other girls even a little." Lili took a meager bite of her cupcake. "In the grand scheme, Operation: Nope would have been a bad idea, but nothing more than bored people playing games. But to Hope..."
"It opened a wound." He swallowed all the apologies he wanted to give for destroying her friendship. His guilt wasn't a problem she needed. He'd apologized already and any more was for him, not for her.
"Yeah. Hope isn't as confident as she seems. I know she rubs people the wrong way sometimes, but she's not a bad person, she truly isn't."
"I know she's not."
"We all have baggage, yeah? Some have big bags. Some small ones. And some have those bags that look small but hold more than you can imagine."
"Ah, like the TARDIS."
"Yeah. Bigger on the inside." She smiled. "That's Hope. She's carrying so much more than people realize."
"I can see that now. But it doesn't excuse the way she spoke to you."
"No, it doesn't. But now doesn't feel like the time to have that conversation. She's fragile and I'm worried that Lucas is going to take advantage of that. He's... he's been fixated on me, but he's also competitive and wants to stay in the villa."
Bobby shook his head. "You're so worried about everyone else when you should be thinking of yourself."
"Pot meet kettle?"
"Touche." He leaned his head against hers.
She pressed kisses to his cheek, and he warmed at her affection. "Whatever happens, just go easy on Hope. This dumped all her baggage onto the ground."
He gathered his thoughts before speaking. It was dangerous ground. "I still think her attacking you is wrong, but...Noah was grafting on you last night. She didn't imagine that."
Her eyes were troubled as she sat the fork down. "Yeah. She had a right to be upset. He crossed a line."
"He likes you," he said, keeping his voice casual.
She frowned. "Maybe. But I think he was intentionally baiting Hope. He's mad about Lucas kissing her. He likes to play like he's above drama but he's just better at hiding his intentions than she is. Her feelings are right on the surface. If she's mad or sad or happy, you know it. Noah hides everything."
"You see right through all of us, don't you?"
"Not everyone. Some people are harder to read than others. You're a challenge sometimes."
"I know. I'm sorry." He kissed her and she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him back. "I wish I could wear my heart on my bikini strap like you," he said.
"Mmm," she said. "I'd actually pay to see you in a bikini."
"I'm comfortable with my sexuality, Lil. I have no problem giving you that for free."
She kissed him, laughing. "I do love that about you. You're so open to possibilities."
"Hey, Lili, I love your bikini!" Chelsea wandered over and plopped herself beside them. "Not everyone has a great booty to pull off that cut, but you totally do." She looked over her shoulder and smacked her own ass. "I mean, I probably could too!"
"You do have a great bum," Lili said.
"I hear that a lot. It must be all the Prosecco. Ooh, are those cupcakes?"
Bobby shrugged and gave her one.
"Aww look, kitties holding hands!"
"They're otters," Lili said.
"Nooooo. Those are cats."
He clutched his chest. "Are you trying to hurt me?"
Gary ambled in and slapped Bobby on the back. "Alright, mate?" He saw the cupcakes and rushed to grab one.
"What's that look like on there?" Chelsea pointed at the otter silhouette.
Gary turned the cupcake this way and that. "Er, uh, teddy bears?"
"Teddy be—" Bobby snatched the cupcakes away from the both of them. "No cupcakes for you."
"What'd I do?" Gary said. "It looks like bears, don't it?"
"They have whiskers and long tails!"
Lili covered her laugh with her hand. "Babe, give them back."
He gave them both mock glares and handed them back. "I otter have words with the both of you later."
"You should get otter here and let them eat their cupcakes in peace," Lili said.
"You know, Lil,I'm starting to wonder if you even give a dam."
She snorted. "Beavers make dams. Not otters. Up your pun game, soft lad."
He sighed. "Why kick a man when he's down?"
"Aww." She pulled him into a hug. "You're otterly adorable."
"Oh, just for that, I'm leaving the dishes for you to wash up." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I'm going to the pool," he announced dramatically, stomping off. Lili's laughter followed him halfway across the yard.
At the gym, Hope was on a mat on the ground, doing crunches, her pretty face screwed into an angry knot. Shame slammed into his gut. His behavior had hurt her tremendously. Now he knew. Hope was like him. Putting on a show, playing big to hide how small she felt inside. And maybe to hide how scared she was to lose the first thing that's meant something to her in a long time.
He took a breath and grabbed the other mat, placing it beside hers. Hope's lips pinched together but she didn't say anything. He made a lot of groaning noises and grumbles as he got on the ground and began doing crunches as well, attempting to match her speed. She looked sideways at him and quickened her pace. He sped up as well. After a minute or two, she added leg lifts to her crunches.
Seriously? He pulled his legs up and did the same. He glanced over and there was a tiny smirk at the corner of her mouth as she added side twists. He groaned and copied her. After many many many reps, she abruptly turned over and started doing push-ups. The second-most hated of all ups. He turned over and followed along, but after what felt like a thousand of them, he dropped to the mat and pounded on it with his fist. "I give!" he wheezed.
"Thank god." She collapsed and rolled over, catching her breath. "I don't think I had one more in me."
He laughed through his asphyxiation and flipped onto his back. She smiled and patted his stomach.
They both sat up and looked around the yard. Someone had found a bunch of pool inflatables and there was a race going on. Lucas was speeding by on a yellow ducky, with Noah right behind him on a colorful narwhal. Priya's frantic paddling made her fall off her seahorse, and she took Marisol—on an inflatable avocado—down with her. Jakub blew a whistle and announced Lucas the victor. Rahim, coming in just behind Noah, didn't look bothered about losing, though as he floated by on what looked like a rasher of bacon, he shoved Lucas off his duck.
Hope snickered and shook her head, suddenly looking sad.
"Why don't we go join them?" he asked.
"Oh. No. I'm... I'm not in the mood."
"You look like you want to."
She reached up and adjusted the haphazard pile of braids on top of her head. "I'm alright. They're done anyhow." Her gaze was on Noah. He climbed out of the pool and grabbed his towel, throwing it over his head to dry his hair. He headed toward the kitchen and bumped into Lili. He stared at her, his face grave, then backed away as if she were a live grenade and headed for the villa.
Hope's brow furrowed. "What was that about?"
He kept his voice casual. "She yelled at him and he's salty about it."
"Yelled? At Noah?"
"Aye. It was something. She called him an obstinate robot and told him to give you space to feel your feelings."
Hope shook her head and laughed. "My poor robot man." She picked at the grass poking up over the edge of the mat, her smile drifting away with the breeze. "Sweet as that is, if you came over here to tell me to get over it and make friends with her agai—"
"Nah. You two will either work it out or you won't." He rolled to his feet. "It's just been a few days since you smiled. We've all missed it." He held a hand out to her. "Come on, I'll get you a cupcake." She stared at his hand a moment. Then she grabbed it and let him hoist her up.
In the kitchen, he plated a cupcake and slid it over.
"Oh, that's cute," she said, jabbing her finger at the otters. "So, you two are still going strong?"
He gave a shiny grin. "Strong as otters!"
She looked at him for a long moment, as if she could see through all his shite, and he suddenly understood where her personality intersected with Lili's.
"Everything's fine," he said. It wasn't a complete lie. They'd had some lovely banter and loud sex. It was the start of fine.
Hope raised an eyebrow at him and took a bite of the cupcake. "Oh my days, that is sinful." She ate it slowly and he made her a brew to wash it down. Licking the tines of the fork, she sat it on the now empty plate. Her contented sigh perked him up.
"You know—" She pinned him with her dark eyes. "No offence, but I tried to change Lili's mind about you. It was impossible."
He already knew that, though it was a glancing blow to hear it said aloud. "Just wanted me for yourself, did you?" He winked at her and she laughed.
"It wasn't personal. I just thought you weren't serious about her—or anything else. She deserves someone who takes her seriously."
"I take her seriously." The sun was blazing into the kitchen and he ran his hands over the warm countertop. "I don't have much to offer her. Not money or anything like that. And I know she's way too good for me, but..." He chased the light with his fingertips. "She's my dream."
Hope threw her head back and laughed. "You melt! It almost sounds like you're in love with her." She looked at him and he swallowed. Her smile fell away. "Are you?"
He forced a laugh. "Nah. Anyway, there's a few cupcakes left if you want another." He spun on his heel, forcing himself to walk and not run from what Hope said. From that persistent neon word flashing over and over in his head, demanding to be acknowledged and spoken aloud. He shoved it down with all his other outsized emotions. One thing at a time.
Lili was stretched out on her stomach on one of the daybeds, her eyes closed. On the other bed, Chelsea was regaling Lucas and Marisol with a story about... crocheted pillow covers? Marisol barely looked interested and Lucas's eyes kept wandering to Lili's lush ass on display in her black bikini.
Bobby pushed aside his annoyance at that, and wandered over, tickling the bottom of Lili's foot. She jerked and opened her sleepy brown eyes. "Hey babe." She flipped onto her side and gestured for him to join her.
He climbed in behind her. "Are you feeling alright?"
She yawned. "Eh. I had cupcakes for breakfast, and I think I'm crashing. Also, I'm feeling sort of blah, you know?"
"Yeah, I do." He pushed her hair aside and kissed her neck, very aware of Lucas's eyes on them. "Can I be blah with you?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Let's be blah together. He cuddled closer, wrapping an arm around her. After a few minutes of cuddling, the others ambled away, leaving them alone.
Now. He had to ask her now.
He kissed her ear. "I want to talk to you about something."
"Hmm?"
"I know you're not sure about us like you were before, and that's my fault. Because the truth is, I was—I am—scared of how much I care about you." He let the quiet words spill out, too nervous to edit them in his head. "I never thought I'd be lucky enough to be with a girl like you. You're amazing and I can't imagine being with anyone else. Here or outside the villa. What we have is more than special and I want you to know how serious I am about it. I want to make this a proper thing. Official, I mean. Will you be my girlfriend?"
She didn't say anything. Panic rose up and slammed into him. What did that mean?
"Lass?" He shook her shoulder gently. A soft snore cut through the silence.
"I should have seen that coming, eh?" She murmured something he couldn't make out and turned over, burying her face in his chest, her breaths quiet and even, punctuated by an occasional snore.
Well, it could have gone better. Could have gone worse, but definitely could have gone better. He laughed quietly to himself. It was a good practice run, though. If he could do it once, he could do it again.
Stroking her jaw, he breathed in her mingled scents of shea butter and strawberry citrus perfume. She was so lovely, inside and out. He could barely restrain the tempest of violent vibrant colour, battering him from the inside as he looked at her. Demanding to be felt. To be heard. And for once, he didn't fight the storm.
"You're the only girl for me, Lil," he whispered. "I knew it from the moment I met you. And I'm going to tell you that soon."
He kissed her forehead and reveled in the downpour.