It's Friday, and Amari was still in the hospital. Mila and Josiah had stayed with her while Malik went to work. Malik didn't want to go in, but Amari told him to since he had already missed several days while she was in a coma.
"Ayo, you hungry?" JP asked Mila.
Mila was busy on her phone texting her 'mystery friend' (Amari says). She looked at JP and asked, "What you finna get?"
"Shiitt... Brielle wanted some In-n-Out. I'm finna run by there and Chic-fil-A. What you want?" JP responded.
Mila took a minute to think about what she wanted. She wasn't sure what she had a taste for, but she knew it had to be spicy. Her pregnancy cravings had her eating all kinds of things, but mainly spicy food. "Ion't know. Baby girl wants something spicy. Shit gon' give me hella heartburn, but fuck it."
JP quickly turned to Mila and stared at her for a second. "You havin' a girl!?"
Mila smiled and squealed, "YES! I'm havin' a mini-me.. but shhh. I'm planning a gender reveal."
JP laughed and said, "Brielle finna be happy as fuck. She said she wanted you to have a girl. And bet, I won't say nun'. Just me and you know?"
"Yeah, I planned on tellin' only you cause I need yo help." Mila told JP.
JP nodded his head and said, "Fasho. I got you. What you need? Y'all still doin' Malik surprise birthday dinner?"
Mila shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know... I hope so, but you know 'Mari was the one who paid for everything."
"All of that!?" JP bucked his head and asked.
Mila nodded her head and said, "Yup! But... you didn't hear that from me."
JP didn't say anything back. He only walked out the room and tried to put two and two together. *Maybe it's her savings or what her parents left her...?*
**Self(ish/less)**
Amari was finally out the shower. She came out to the room being cleaned and smelling good. "Awwe... y'all cleaned my room and got it smelling good. Thank you."
Mila giggled and said, "That was JP. He cleaned, disinfected and sprayed everything down."
"Oh, still awwe... Where is he anyway?" Amari asked Mila.
"He... uhhh..." Mila was so focused on texting she couldn't even get her words out. "He... What'd you ask again?"
Amari watched her as she quickly ran her fingers across her phone. Whoever she was texting, Amari was jealous of them. They were getting more attention, but Amari was the one in the hospital. "You know... if you would just put yo phone down and pay attention to what I'm saying or askin' you'd remember what I asked. Never mind though. I'll just call him." Amari was now irritated.
"He went to get us some food... See! I am paying attention." Mila said only telling half the truth.
Amari still called JP. She rolled her eyes at Mila and said, "Whatever."
__
JP: "Hello?"
Amari: "Where you at?"
JP: "I'm getting us food, baby. Wassup?"
Amari: "Nothin', don't forget to take out them onions and add extra spread on my fries, please."
JP: "Aight. I'll be back ina minute. You want or need sum' while I'm out?"
Amari: "Nah, just that."
JP: "Aight. I love-"
Before JP could finish, Amari hung up.
"Well, damn..." JP said to himself while pulling into the In-N-Out drive-thru.
__
"'Mari? You mad at me?" Mila asked Amari.
Amari didn't bother to look at Mila. She just answered the question dryly. "Nah."
"For real 'Mari. Are you?" Mila asked again.
"Mila if you keep askin' me that shit, I'ma GET mad at you. Damn." Amari snapped.
Mila just stared at her sister. She knew she was under a lot of stress. Hell, she almost killed herself because of it all. Mila's pregnancy hormones kicked in, and she became emotional. "Amari... I'm sorry..." Mila said with a shaky voice. She was crying.
Amari looked at Mila and just knew her mixed emotions were because of her pregnancy. Mila was not the cry-baby type. If anything, she was like Amari. She never let her emotions show.
"Mila... don't do that." Amari told Mila. She didn't know what to do in sentimental moments. Especially when other people would cry in front of her.
Mila still continued with what she had to say. "Just listen... I'm sorry I wasn't able to get to you before depression did. I was tryin' to save you, but I didn't know how to. And I didn't wanna push you cause I know what that's like... Just please don't do that again. You scared me. You scared all of us. JP and Malik even got into it. Well, Malik went off on JP... cause JP felt guilty that he couldn't see his own girlfriend's pain. And Malik felt the same way about you as his sister, but he told JP that it should only make 'em feel more eager to be in here with you... And Queen and Jordan and 'em came up here to check on your progress almost everyday. 'Mari... Kameron came despite the whole JP shit at the game. You really got people who are here for you... and you don't even have to talk. Just cry and let it out if that's what you need to do instead."
Amari was trying not to listen to her sister. She didn't feel like crying or talking about her problems. She felt like there wasn't a point in doing so. At this point, she was just over it all.
Mila just sat and stared at Amari who was putting her dirty clothes in a bag. She waited for Amari's response, but there wasn't any.
"Aight... whatever." Mila said with an attitude. She got up to grab her Airpods, but before she could put them in her ears, Amari walked over to her and sat down.
Amari turned to face Mila and deeply sighed. The look she had on her face already spoke volume before she even said a word. Mila sat and waited for what Amari had to say.
Amari thought for a second then began talking. "You right... I'm not fine... I'm going through a lot, and most of it are personal matters. There are things that bother me like hell everyday, but I don't talk about it 'cause I don't find the point in it. It isn't gonna change the fact that it happened. That's why I don't say shit. And I already tried out the whole opening up shit before- it didn't workout so well. But I expected that. I expect folks to think I'm just overreacting. And that's fine cause I don't expect y'all to understand. Half of the shit I went through, other folks ain't ever experienced. I dealt wit a lot, and I don't ever wanna relive those moments... even in a memory. And I don't like pity cries... I don't like none of that sappy shit. That's why I don't tell y'all much. Cause I know how that goes... And I don't want y'all to treat me differently based on my past. I will give it to you though... all of you, y'all really did show out for me, and THANK YOU! Truly. I just need y'all to respect the way I deal with my problems."
Mila didn't take long to respond. She had been waiting for this moment. "How though? How do we respect the way you deal with things when the way you deal with things involves hurting, not only yourself, but also the people who surrounds you and loves you and care for you...? Do you know the amount of damage that would've done to Malik if you didn't make it? To JP? TO ME? Even Queen and 'em! 'Mari, there are better ways to handle your personal issues... And I begged you! I begged you to just find some other way to cope other than hurting yourself... I even went against myself by not telling Malik or JP about the cuts. Do you realize how guilty that made me feel when I seen you passed out and bleeding in Malik's arms!? Do you know how guilty it made everyone feel because they failed to see your pain YOU kept hiding and lying about!? I'm not tryin' to sound like an ass, but that was a selfish move you pulled. You only thought of yourself... but what about us? How'd you expect us to deal or cope with your death? How do you think we would have felt? How broken we'd be? Or did you not think about any of that?"
Amari shook her head and stood up. "This is why I don't speak on shit. Y'all don't understand. Y'all don't try to understand either."
"How we gon' try to understand if you not talkin' to us, 'Mari?" Mila asked with frustration.
"I just told you Mila! And you sat up and basically called me fucking selfish for what I tried to do... Yeah, it may have seemed like it from y'all side, but do Y'ALL ever think about what the fuck I'm going through!? How it makes me feel onna daily!? Or do y'all just brush that shit off too? Mila you was the main one tellin' me you'd understand 'cause you done been through some shit too, but when I open up just A LITTLE fucking BIT you say that shit. It's all good though. Now I know I ain't gotta say a damn thing to y'all anymore!" Amari snapped and walked towards the door. As she began reaching for the door knob, JP and Malik had busted in the door laughing.
*Ahahaha* Malik and JP walked into the room laughing. The two had seen each other at a taco truck just up the street from the hospital.
"Bro, I told yo stupid ass it wasn't that door and you still walked up in there." Malik told JP.
JP laughed again and said, "Bruh, I wasn't even payin' attention."
"No shit, Sherlock!" Malik responded.
Amari just stared at the two for a second then exited the room.
JP set down the food and looked over at Mila. Malik did the same with what he had in his hands and looked at Mila as well.
"Wassup? Y'all good? Where Amari goin'?" Malik asked his youngest sister.
Mila looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. "Ion't know... I don't care either."
Malik shook his head. He knew they might have gotten into an argument. "JP go check on her."
JP nodded his head and left the room to go after Amari. He went into the waiting room, but Amari wasn't there. He wondered the halls, and still... no Amari. There was only one place left to look now- the cafe. JP headed to the cafe and looked around. It was packed, so he skimmed thoroughly until, finally, he spotted her. He made his way over to her and could just tell she had a lot on her mind.
Amari looked as if she was just going to have a mental breakdown. And she was. Right when she stood up to leave, before she started crying, JP got to her and quickly hugged her. He knew it was coming; he was trying to beat her tears. And he did.
Fortunately, JP was able to cover and hold Amari as she bawled out her eyes.
"What's wrong, baby? C'mon talk to me... please." JP told Amari.
Amari could hardly speak. She just kept crying.
JP then lead her out of the cafe, and they walked back towards her room. They didn't say anything the whole way. JP knew she was going through a tough time, so he didn't want to push Amari to talk if she didn't want to. But it bothered him like hell that he couldn't help her. He didn't know how to. He's never been in a situation like this.
**Meanwhile**
"What was allat about?" Malik asked Mila.
She didn't answer his question right away and that annoyed Malik. He hated being ignored when he's talking to someone.
Mila paused her music and looked at Malik. "I tried getting her to talk and shit... but she barely did that. Then I pushed her buttons a liiitle too much, so she went off. I don't care though."
Malik shook his head and sat down beside his sister. "Mila, you gotta understand that talking is not easy when you're going through depression. And I hope you ain't call her selfish for the way she was trying to escape her pain... cause you tried the same shit. The only difference is, she was trying to escape quicker. You just starved yourself. Depression is complicated. It's random. It's a lot. It's HELL! But you probably know that already cause you've been through that before. It's not something you force out of someone... you gotta let that come out on it's own. You be the ears and hear for her cry. She'll come to you when she sees you're actually paying attention and interested in helping her cope. I told all this shit to JP too. He kept blaming himself and trying to lay out ways to get her to talk, but that's not how it works. It'll only push her further away. Let her talk when she's ready and don't rush the conversation. Just go with her flow. If y'all wanna help her, ride her wave at HER pace... not yours. It's not your pain, it's HER'S."
Mila didn't say anything back. She only sat quietly and took everything her brother said in. She knew he was right.
***
Amari and JP sat in a waiting room designed for families to sit in when there were too many people in the patient's room. JP let Amari get all her crying out the way and comforted her.
Once Amari calmed down, she wiped her tears and brushed her hair out of her face.
"You don't have to talk if you're not ready. I know there's just too much going on right now, so take your time." JP told Amari while gently rubbing Amari's chin. He gave her a peck on the cheek and hugged her.
Amari only nodded her head and the two just sat there. After a couple of minutes, Amari stood up indicating that she wanted to go back to the room. They did so.
The two walked into the room. They noticed Mila knocked out on the sofa, and Malik was out in the hallway on the phone.
In Amari's room, there was a sofa, a recliner chair and her bed.
"Here baby." Josiah said to Amari while handing her her food and drink.
"You can just leave it up there. I'm not hungry anymore." Amari responded while climbing into her bed.
Josiah turned towards her and frowned. *Mmcht* "C'mon you gotta eat something Brielle."
"I know, I'll eat it later. I'm just tired now. Come lay with me." She told Josiah.
He smiled at her and jokingly said, "you know we too big to both be on that bed."
"YOU the big one. Don't play!" They both laughed, and Amari responded.
Josiah hopped in the bed with her and cuddled her while they watched the show that became their favorite thing to watch together- Hawaii 5-0.
**1 hour later**
Everyone was asleep. Mila was on the sofa, Malik slept on the recliner and Josiah and Amari both fell asleep on the bed where they were laid up watching T.V.
"I'm sorry to have wake you Doc, but could you get your sister up please." Nurse Claire Brown said to Malik.
It took Malik to fully wake up. He looked at the nurse confusedly then around the room then back at her. "Oh, shit. Yeah, my bad." Malik, still half asleep, got up and walked over to Mila.
*Oop... I thought it was the other sister, but okay.* Nurse Brown thought to herself.
"'Mari... 'Mari... AMARI get up!" Malik said.
"Malik... maybe if you turn to Amari and tap her, she'd wake up. Damn foo, you ruining my beauty rest." Mila snapped at Malik.
*I'ma just act like I didn't see that...* Nurse Brown said to herself.
Malik rubbed his eyes and looked at Mila. "Oh... shit...my bad damn.. and what beauty rest? You still ugly." Malik turned towards Amari and woke her up.
Mila only rolled her eyes and tried going back to sleep till her phone buzzed.
Amari rubbed her eyes and looked around. She noticed Nurse Brown standing in the corner and Dr. Mendez barely walking into the room.
"Doc ..." Dr. Mendez nodded at Malik and Malik did the same back greeting each other.
"Hey, sister... I got good news. You get to leave first thing in the morning. Nurse Brown here will process your discharge and prescriptions papers and have them ready for you in the morning. There's just two things, you have to eat all three of your full-course meals for today and breakfast in the morning. Also, you HAVE to pick those SSRIs up. That or I'll have to assign you to a counselor to meet with daily. Your choice." Dr. Mendez told Amari.
Amari just nodded her head and agreed with everything he told her. She wasn't in the mood to talk. She was still tired, and even though it didn't seem it, she was happy to hear the good news.
Dr. Mendez smiled and glanced at Malik hinting that he wanted to talk to him.
The two walked out to the hallway to talk.
***
"If she wants, and you're okay with it, she can skip the meds and be assigned to you." Dr. Mendez told Malik.
"Sir, as much as I would love that, it goes against the frame. We both know that, and it won't be safe." Malik responded.
Yes, Malik wanted to help his sister, but he couldn't risk counseling her. Things could go wrong, it might not work or help in the way she needs to be help and worst, it could push her away especially if the sessions get potentially harmful.
"Understood. I just wanted to check with you and get your thoughts on the idea." Dr. Mendez said.
Malik nodded his head and responded. "It's a great and bad idea. I 'preciate you helping. Truly."
The two shook hands, turned away from each other and walked off.