F O R T Y - O N E
gnash, tell me it's okay.
Raheem.
(hahahahaha, you have to wait for her answer)
"Raheem?" My brother calls for my attention, my eyes drift from the city view before me and glance over at him, "Yes?" I mutter before my eyes drift back to the view.
I admit, I've been terrible without her but in all honesty. In the past few weeks I've been better than I thought I'd be. It had to be the distance, I know she mentioned time and time again that being further from Motheo helped. I didn't understand it at first, thinking the bond was the bond — it would be strong no matter what but I was wrong.
"Are you listening to me?" Khalil narrowed his eyes at me, "You know, I can tell when you're thinking about her."
Also, to add to it I had banned everyone who knew of her to not mention her name. I had stopped listening to her conversations with Khalil — honestly, after she cried that time about losing two mates, I couldn't bring myself to listen in anymore.
Unsurprisingly, apparently she had started sounding a lot happier since then too. I was glad she still communicated with my brother, a piece of me felt as though because she does maybe she hadn't fully given up on me. Maybe I hadn't completely ruined everything by leaving.
My leaving was never supposed to anger her, I knew to some degree it would but never to this point. I thought maybe she'd be happy, I thought she wanted nothing to do with me after that night. I thought she'd be glad to have me out of the picture, she could be with her first mate and take her rightful place.
Samira's dead and I only got even more reminded of that when I saw her in my dream. My first is gone, whilst Lerato's still lives and breaths. I doubted my ability to love her anywhere near what Motheo could. Even though he royally screwed up, if he wanted to the idiot could win her over without even trying.
He's an Alpha and added to that he's the damn Alpha King, topping it off with being her first and thus 'true' mate. I don't stand a chance.
He'll always be there and he'll always have the upper hand, I'll always be second. She might be my second chance too but it's different for me, I don't have a first anymore — it's all her. I feel everything the same, if I hadn't gone so long without a mate I think I'd have completely forgotten what it feels like.
Comparing the two feelings, they're identical if not pushed just a little more this time around. It's hard when I feel all of that and she simply feels nothing, Amir told me she thought she had a crush on me, our bond is only recognisable as a crush to her. Such a mundane feeling that can easily be swept aside.
I hear the bedroom open and only then do I remember Khalil was attempting to have a conversation, "Wait," I turn towards the door, "What did you want to say? Sit down, I'll pay attention, I'm sorry."
He sighs before shaking his head, "Nevermind it, it's cool." He steps out and shuts the door behind him.
I sigh as a hand runs through my hair, I can't keep crying over spilt milk. I need to decide if I'm going to go fight for her, or I'm going to stay here and become a walking caucus again.
I walk into my closet and make my way around the back of the walk-in, I walk up to the boxes stacked right in the centre of this section of the oversized closet.
Letting out a shakey breath I open up the top box's lid, the contents causing my chest to heave up and down at a rapid rate. I shut the box as I shut my eyes, you've got to do this. I try to give myself a pep talk, you've held this off for too long.
I place the top box to the side and raise the next one, putting it on the plush baby pink ornament as I take a seat next to the box.
I raise the lid and glance inside, photo albums and photo frames greeting my eyes. I pull out a frame and her smile greets me as soon as I turn it over. Her almond nut coloured skin, deep brown eyes and dark enough to be mistaken for black waist length hair looking as vibrant as they always do.
She didn't look this vibrant in the dream.
"I'm so sorry."
It's two days later when I walk into Khalil's office, my office, just as he hangs up the phone. He glances up at me before raising a brow, "Oh, well, hello brother. I didn't think you knew your way around the house anymore."
I narrow my eyes at him before I take a seat, "I have something to discuss with you."
"Okay?" He can obviously hear the seriousness in my tone, he knows something worth while will come of this.
He sets aside his work and gives me his full attention and for the first time in years. I actually inspect my brother, his hair still looks as perfect as it ever was but the rest of him looks tired. He looks so exhausted, I know being Alpha takes a lot out of you but I never expected it to take so much from him.
I've been so selfish.
It has almost been two years since he took over and it has already taken a toll on him. I used to think the first born was given the position mainly because they are... well, older but I've slowly come to realise it has more to do with the Alpha within them.
I've met several first born Alpha's and several second and third born Alpha's and the aura radiating off of them isn't the same. First borns have much more power in them and authority, with second borns and below it dwindles.
It's still powerful enough for someone else to feel that they're an Alpha. Or even for first born Beta's to submit to them but to a first born Alpha? It's barely anything to blink at.
My brother is a second born, this isn't his position and added to that I know he doesn't want it, never did. Being Alpha has never been something he ever cared to be but when Samira —
"Did you come in here to stare at me because I'm sure there are photos of me all around this house, you can stare at them whilst deep in thought. You don't have to do it in my office." Khalil looks away and continues to type away at the keyboard.
I smile at his words, his dry humour used to annoy me at some point but now I thoroughly enjoy it.
"I'm ready to take my position back."
His brows dip as a crease appears between them, "Excuse me?"
I sigh as I sit back in the chair, "Yeah, I think it's time to step up again."
He shakes his head, "Raheem, you don't have to do this. We don't need the pack to suffer again, we don't need —"
"Khalil, I said I'm ready." He still does not look convinced.
He raises his brow before he speaks, "Okay, Alpha... I just got off the phone with Motheo Mbatha and he has invited... you the Alpha of the Origen Pack to attend a Council Meeting over at the Palace."
I'm about to object but he continues, "If you can attend the meeting and get through that unscathed I'll believe that you're ready. When you return I'll have the whole thing set up, ready to tell the pack and everything."
I think about this for a while, "I can't believe you're giving me a task to complete in order to rule my own pack again." He shrugs unbothered, "You fucked up, you need to earn it again." He gives me a look.
"Ha ha, look who can speak in riddles." I roll my eyes.
He scoffs, "Maybe the King has the upper hand because he isn't so childish —"
I grab the paperweight and throw it at his head, being so close to him he had no time to move out the way before the weight hit him.
"Ow!" His hand flies up to his forehead, "You little shit." He whines rubbing his forehead as I throw my head back and laugh.
◇
Driving up to the palace I can already tell that she's there. The pull is definitely greater and my usually dormant wolf has decided to awaken. I had to do my research as soon as I'd accepted Khalil's challenge.
To say I was surprised at what I read would be an understatement, he confessed to his wrongdoing — he actually confessed. Not only that but the biggest shocker was his words "united front," how could she be with him after everything she had learned? Everything that he had done to not only me but herself included.
I more so could not believe she'd stick with him after all he put her through and to have him say so to the entire community? It's so unlike her it still boggles my mind.
Maybe I shouldn't believe everything that family puts out there.
But something tells me she wouldn't have allowed him to call them something they weren't if it weren't true.
The car comes to a halt before my door is being swung open, I thank the chauffeur before stepping up onto the stairs that lead to the palace.
I feel the bumps prick my skin as they rise up with every inch of hair on my body. I can't believe I'm here again, dammit, why would Khalil do this to me?
I make my way to the stairs that lead us up to the second floor opting to rather wait for the meeting to begin on a balcony. I would hate to have to sit and chit chat with the other Alpha's, Goddess forbid I have to make conversation with Motheo.
I walk the halls as though I had never left, still remembering my way around fairly alright. I know which balcony I want to go to, it always had the best view.
Just as I turn the corner her scent invades my senses, I unwillingly let out a sigh of contentment as my eyes shut. My nostrils pulling in as much as my lungs can contain, it's immensely potent so I know she's near.
I open my eyes and my mouth calls out to her before the rest of me can even register that she is indeed right in front of us. It is only the back of her but I'm certain it's her, her hourglass figure and posture enough for me to confirm it.
"Lerato?"
I don't get to say much to her, nor does she get to do much talking. Although, it looked as if she wanted to tell me something. It must be a secret because she instantly shut up when Motheo approached.
I watch her practically march away as Motheo moves to stand besides me, watching her too.
As soon as she disappears behind another corner he hisses, "She's mine, I hope you remember that."
I can't help the laugh that escapes, "I haven't come back to win her over —"
He narrows his eyes at me, "Why did you come then? After all, I invited your brother... the Alpha." He completely turns his body to look at me.
I can feel him trying to intimidate me with his kingly aura, oh what a pity I have too much distaste for the man before me. What a pity I've spent too many years in his aura. He couldn't affect me with that nonsense no matter how hard he tried.
I cock a brow, "Oh, you haven't heard? I've taken back what is mine..." I take a threatening step forward, "Because I always take back what is mine."
I hated to speak of her as some sort of inanimate object and I'd make sure to never do it again, I just needed to make it clear to this fool that Lerato is by all means my mate.
Goddess, I haven't even been around her ten minutes and I already long to have her back in my arms.
I didn't come back to fight him for her but I did come to remind her of what we have and what we could be. Although I hated being in this palace, I both understand and know why my brother made this stupid 'challenge.'
And I certainly will not return without my Luna.
I never left her because I thought we shouldn't be together, I left her because I knew I needed her to take the throne all on her own. Even though she never said she wants it, it's what the werewolves need. She'll realise that soon enough, if she hasn't already.
Motheo balls up his fists but just as his mouth opens he's called away by one of the many workers. He curses under his breath before storming off, I let out a light chuckle — yeah, Khalil, sure she prefers the king because he's 'not childish.'
I forget about the balcony once I realise the time, all of this has taken up the little spare time I had. I take slightly faster strides back to the staircase, however, just as I'm halfway down and the chatter below is far more audible my phone begins to vibrate.
Deciding it's quieter up here I turn and start to make my way up the stairs again, I reach my hand into my pocket to grab the phone when my eyes meet hers. She looks so stunning in her gown, her natural hair standing tall as she pinned it up in display.
Her ruby coloured lips almost as deep as the dress she has on. I finally glance at the presence beside her and it's none other than Motheo's brother, Lindokuhle. He glances over at me before he laughs, are they talking about me?
I try to focus more on their conversation as I move my legs slightly faster up the stairs. He hasn't stopped speaking so perhaps he thinks I'm still out of earshot. His head nods in my direction as his eyes are trained on hers, "... Asanté looks when Danica calls her."
Guess he doubted my hearing, forgetting I'm a first born Alpha, my hearing is far better. Her eyes meet mine as his are still towards her, "He's the one, isn't he?" I raise a brow at her, silently asking her for the answer to that question.
They had to be speaking about me, the laugh? The nod towards me? It had to be me, right?
My legs have stopped moving and perhaps even my breathing has stopped right along with them. The phone call is long forgotten, the caller surely having moved on to their next task.
Everything has silenced as I watch her turn her head back to Lindokuhle, she places her hand on his forearm silently asking him to stop walking and he does.
She takes a deep breath before locking eyes with him, "I —"
—
Who missed Raheem!? 🥺👉🏽👈🏽