Couldn't find a name for this entry so...
As it turns out, the last entry wasn't long (let's blame the uncomfortable kids' tunnel thing for that) but this one might be.
We last left off with me asking my mother about the whole 'disappeared' thing. First, I'm going to tell you what happened with Jay and the others.
With my friends (or former friends)-
After the whole thing with Kai, and the stuff with Nya, Cole walked towards me with Micheal hanging on his shoulder. He dropped Micheal on one of the cafeteria chairs and continued to walk towards me.
"Look, Lloyd, we're not saying you can't leave and head to class," Cole said, "We just can't believe what we just saw. You owe us an explanation."
I groaned. "And you will get that explanation, eventually," I said as I looked away guiltily.
"And when will that be?!" Jay asked hysterically, "As far as we are concerned, you're not leaving here till we get a fully detailed explanation."
"Or you could give us one after school," Zane suggested.
Jay pulled Zane towards and whispered something while looking suspiciously at me.
"Oh," Zane said, "Well, Lloyd, it seems we won't be available after school today or during the weekend. It seems this is the only time for you to talk with us."
"And since you don't have a phone," Cole said, "You can't just call us at any time."
I groaned again. I was not ready to tell them about my issues. At that moment I felt a quick but sharp pain in my head. I lost balance for a second and managed to regain it back.
I quickly got my composure back and turned to the others. Nya looked more or less shocked, Kai was still fretting over his wrist, Zane looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't, and Jay looked confused.
"You're eyes," Kai said surprised, "they're red."
I've always wondered what it means to have red eyes. Is it like conjunctivitis or that my green irises turned red? Either way, when Kai said that, I saw things from a different perspective.
Kai looked very angry about his broken wrist, Cole looked ready to pummel me to the ground, Nya seemed insulted by my cake rejection, Zane looked cold and intimidating while Jay looked like a crazy supervillain ready to strike at me.
I got angry too, although I'm not sure why. I clearly remember tilting my head to look behind Nya and noticed some students filming the ongoing drama that had erupted. A part of me promised to deal with them later although at the same time I didn't really care. It's like there were two people leaving in my body. One is me and the other is another form of me, a darker form to be specific.
All of a sudden, my head hurt, and then, whoosh, the pain disappeared like the wind, again. My anger was no longer behind the boundary line of my emotions. I got really angry like something was fueling me even though I had no real reason to get angry. I blacked out for a little moment before waking up and finding everyone coming at me.
Out of instinct, I grabbed Jay's arm and tossed him to hit the others. Zane and Nya got taken out. Jay then accused me of using him to hurt his friends. He told me it was the worst thing he'd ever seen.
"What is wrong with you, Lloyd?"
"We did absolutely nothing wrong and then you just try to kill us!"
"And that kid too! What did he ever do?!"
"You're a bully! A big mean bully! Who turns into a raging monster over little things!"
It wasn't their voices but I heard them say it. And it got me even more ticked off.
Jay came at me and I used my inhuman strength to throw him to the wall. Since I wasn't concentrated, he hit the glass doors instead causing them to break upon impact.
I froze when I saw the mess I made. I was horrified that I did this to my friends. I didn't even have an ounce of self-control. I was a monster who almost killed one of the only people who actually wanted to hang out with me. And so I ran. Ran out of the school and to the park before waiting for the next bus home. When I got home I started breaking things out of anger and destroying my bedroom. I laid on my bed till four in the evening and wrote in the journal till uncle Wu came home.
This is why I wasn't feeling up to telling this story. That rage was different today. I actually felt like evil, sinister sort of.
Now back to where I last left off-
"Thing is, Lloyd, I had to disappear. A lot of people were hunting me down and, well, I couldn't let them find me."
"Pfft," I replied, "Look, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm sixteen. I will not let you lie to me or give me ridiculous excuses for ditching me."
I was trying my hardest not to scream at this point. After dealing with everything that happened today up till that point, I was ticked. I wasn't going to let myself blow up at my mom but she was making it so hard. I couldn't even tell she was lying since I was still overwhelmed with emotions.
"I didn't mean for it to be this long. I hadn't even realized how many years had passed and when I did I decided to come home since it's been too long."
"Sounds like a well made excuse? How many times did you practice it in the mirror?"
"It's not an excuse Lloyd, it's the truth. And although I still couldn't find what I was looking for coming all the way back was worth it."
I almost smiled. Almost. Till I stopped myself. Why would I smile when there was a certain possibility I was going to frown again?
"But you're still going back?" I asked, "You are, aren't you? You didn't find what you were looking for so you're going to leave me again and go back for it."
The look on her face answered the question for me. It was just too obvious that she was going back.
I could feel the headache from earlier again. It was like a silent ear-piercing screech that made my head feel like a hammer was pounding on it. I stumbled back from the pain and ended up leaning on the kitchen counter for support.
"Lloyd? Lloyd are you okay? Wu!" She shouted my uncle's name which to a normal person would sound normal but to me, it felt like the hammer had tripled. I can almost remember the excruciating pain.
I think uncle Wu went out. I don't know what he expected to come out of ditching me and my mom in the living room but I doubt his expectations came true.
"Lloyd if it's about me going back, don't be upset. I'll still be here for a while before I go."
I could feel my hair darken, and as usual, stayed like it was just black at the roots. The headache then stopped abruptly. I opened my eyes and saw my mom looking over at me worriedly. Everything was distorted and my mom's worried voice started getting deeper and scarier.
"Lloyd I'm sorry that I have to leave soon but... who wouldn't when they have a son like you. First time I saw you since I came back already gave me a bad vibe."
I was surprised at her change of tone, it went from apologetic to hate in under a second. The words she said had so much effect on me to the point it hurt.
"I don't understand." I guess you could say I felt vulnerable though at the same time my anger was building. It was slow but it was still growing.
"Why would you understand?" She asked. Her face was filled with hate and regret. " I knew coming back here was a mistake."
Anger isn't the only emotion that makes me act out. When it mixes with similar dark emotions it gets stronger and I lose control over myself. The more emotions I feel with my anger, the easier it is to lose myself. Right then, I was angry, upset, and filled with hatred.
My hair turned completely black. I could see the tip of my hair change colors from blonde to black.
My mom was quiet. Her face no longer reflected that of someone with a deep hatred for her son but instead looked afraid and worried.
I lost control for a moment. It was only one minute but I can't remember anything that happened during that time. Trying to remember makes me feel like I turned into a monster- even if it was just for a moment.
"Why even bother to come home if you don't even care about me! What was the point of it all or did uncle Wu just drag you over here to try to care?"
"Lloyd that's not true, I do care."
"No, you don't! You left me with my uncle for twelve years! Twelve Years! And then you come back and tell me you're going to leave again! Why even come back! Why bother insulting my entire life just so you could tell me I'm not worth the visit!"
Looking back, I feel ashamed of shouting out like a madman, questions that don't even have answers
"Lloyd," My mom said, "Calm down. I don't know what's going on with you but I want to help."
"You can't help me!" I told her after thinking a bit, "Why don't you just leave now. It'll save you a lot of trouble in the future."
I felt something hit the back of my head causing me to turn around and see Kai holding a metal spoon. I bent down in pain while Kai pulled my mom away from where I was. The pain from before was back and it hurt a lot. I tried to stand up but I couldn't. I heard a voice tell me to stop avoiding the pain and instead bear it. I guess I listened and before I knew it, the pain stopped.
I stood up feeling really angry at Kai for hitting me. I guess I deserved it. I finally snapped out of it and passed out on the floor. It was only for a second before my memory of everything flooded into my head waking me up instantly. I looked up and Kai was holding out his hand for me. The uninjured hand to be clear.
I felt embarrassed and upset and completely stupid. I left for my room. As it turns out, my uncle was meditating in his room the whole time. If only he were there, maybe I wouldn't have said all that to my mom.
Anyway, I found this perfect place to sleep. After leaving the park and deciding that there was no place to hide for the night without uncle Wu finding me, I left for a closed down port by the sea which wasn't too far away.
As expected, there was a closed down warehouse at the port. Surprisingly, it was in good condition. There were few things that looked like vehicles used for carrying heavy things but I wasn't sure since I saw no light switch. I decided one of them might be safe for me to sleep in, as long as I don't push any buttons in my sleep. Shouldn't be too hard, right?
Of course, I will have to wake up really early in case I'm not the only one trespassing into this warehouse. Then I'll just go back home and apologize to uncle Wu for running away, pray that mom decided on staying at a hotel, and enjoy my Saturday.