Chapter 7: What If...
A/N: ⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️
A/N: Picture of Piper and Finn on both Finn and Piper's bedside tables. Finn got it made as a Christmas gift for Piper and got himself a matching one.
A/N: Piper's wall collage (it takes up her entire wall, it goes from the ceiling to the floor)
A/N: Picture on a shelf in Piper's room.
A/N: Picture on Piper's desk.
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Finn's POV:
I walk into my house to find Amy's parents sitting on my living room couch.
Oh no. This is not going to be good.
"Mrs and Mr Smith," I greet Amy's parents, "What a nice surprise."
"Hi Finn," Amy's mother, Gale, says. Amy's father simply waves at me.
"Yes, well your mother invited us while you kids were at dance, so it was a surprise for Amy as well," Amy's father, Jeremy, tells me.
"Speaking of Amy, where is she?" I ask.
"Oh, she is just showing Avery where the washroom is. They should be back any minute now."
Avery is Amy's younger sister. This is the first time she is here. This is only the second time Amy's family is at my house. Amy's sister was at a sleepover when they first came over.
As if on cue, Amy and Avery walk down the hallway to the living room. Avery goes to sit down next to her parents and Amy walks over to me.
"Hey," she smiles at me.
"Hey."
We look awkwardly at each other.
"Don't be afraid to sneak a quick kiss, we'll look away," Amy's father exclaims. He is the more relaxed and chilled parent out of Amy's parents.
Amy blushes and looks at me expectantly.
"No," I say, maybe a little too loudly.
I regain myself again before saying, "Uh, I mean,no thank you. I'm not really comfortable showing affection in front of my parents and I wouldn't want to disrespect you both either. Thank you though, Mr Smith."
Amy and I haven't actually kissed on the lips yet and after I kissed Piper I'm not starting now. I told Amy I hadn't had my first kiss so I wanted to wait for the right moment. Turns out I just needed the right person, Piper, but that happened at the wrong moment. Amy would hate me even more when she finds out that my first kiss was with Piper, while I was refusing to kiss her.
"It's so funny how this was set up, isn't it? I literally got home from hanging out with the girls after dance, well except Piper, she's at James and Riley's place, and my parents told me I had 5 minutes to change because we were coming to your house," Amy says.
I cringe at the mention of Piper's name, the wound from earlier still fresh in my mind.
"How was your extra rehearsal time? You were gone for hours."
I laugh awkwardly.
"Yeah, it was good. I got a lot of work done," I lie.
Truth is, I didn't rehearse at all. After Piper left, I just sat in the studio for hours, staring at the floor.
"That's so good," she smiles up at me.
"Yeah," I mumble, "If you'll excuse me for a second, I'm going to freshen up quickly."
"OK, the food will be ready by the time you come down," my mother tells me.
I nod and then make my way upstairs and to my room.
Once I get to my room, I shut my door and collapse defeatedly on my bed. I turn over to lay on my side and tears start to weld up in my eyes, as I look at the picture of Piper and I on my bedside table. I know I should've replaced it with a picture of me and Amy, but I haven't had the heart to change it and Amy doesn't think much of it, because she thinks mine and Piper's relationship is strictly platonic.
I stare at the picture and start to cry. All I want to do is be with Piper, but that'll never happen now, especially after everything that happened today. I take the picture into my hands and hold it above my face, as I roll onto my back again. I trace Piper on the picture, my finger landing on her smile. I remember how happy she was when this picture was taken. I haven't seen her smile in a really long time. I remember that the last time I saw her smile and heard her laugh was during our bicycle ride. I haven't seen her smile since then.
I bring the picture down and place it on my chest. I hug the frame and cry even harder. I can't believe I did this. Asking Amy out was one of the worst ideas I have ever had. If I never asked Amy out none of this would've happened. And if I hadn't kissed Piper while I was dating Amy, Piper and I wouldn't be in so much pain and Amy wouldn't get hurt once she found out. I feel like the worst person in the world. Seeing Piper cry earlier broke my heart and I can't cope with the fact that it's my fault. I broke the love of my life's heart.
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A/N: Trigger Warning
Piper's POV:
I run up the stairs and to my bedroom. I'm at home now. I asked James if I could borrow the keys to his car, and when he asked why, I lied and told him I forgot my retainer at home. Truth is I needed my anxiety pills, because I was losing my mind and was on the verge of having a panic attack. James refused to let me drive alone at night so he took me home. I really wished I had my car at that moment.
As I shut my door, I rush around my room trying to find where I put the box of my anxiety pills. I stopped using them a little while ago, after Jade came and I learned to loosen up a bit, but now I need to look for it because I can't remember where I put it last. I come to a halt when I see the picture of Amy and I on my desk. I sit down on my desk chair and stare at the picture, as hot tears stream down my face.
How could I do this to her? She's my best friend. How could I be so selfish?
I put the picture face down on my desk, unable to look at it anymore.
I get up and continue to search for my anxiety pills, because I feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge. I go to search the drawer in my bedside table, but stop when I see the picture of Finn and I. I pick up the picture and drop to the floor. I start sobbing harder than I did when I was in the bathroom.
What if I had said yes to Finn the very first time he asked me out or the second or even the 10th time? None of this would be happening and I wouldn't be feeling like this. What if I realised that I liked Finn before he started dating Amy. Or what if I never suggested that Finn and Amy hung out without me? They wouldn't have started dating in the first place and none of this would've happened. I guess I'll forever be left wondering what if...
My hands grip the frame so tightly, I can see my hands turning white. I feel myself gasping for air, I'm crying so hard I'm struggling to breathe. The tears are blinding, but so is the pain inside of me.
I throw the picture across my room and don't even hear it smash against the wall and then smash again as it hits the wooden floor, but James must've as I hear him shout my name from downstairs. I reach up and grab the picture of Finn; Amy and I from my shelf and throw it to my wall as well, without even taking a second to look at the picture. Blinded by this feeling, I turn around to look at my collage wall and march towards it ripping every single picture of me and Finn I could find off of the wall and tearing them apart.
Before I manage to tear the last remaining picture in half, I am pulled away from the wall and into a strong pair of arms. James falls sideways onto the bed, with me still in his arms. He strokes my hair and tells me to breathe, as I sob into my covers.
"Pipes, breathe. Please, calm down," he whispers gently.
"No!" I scream, "Don't- don't- don't call me- tha- that," I try to get out, but I can't breathe.
I don't ever want to hear James call me 'Pipes' again. Finn used to call me that and now that I'll never hear him say it again, no one else is allowed to say it. If I can't hear it come out of Finn's mouth, I don't wanna hear it at all.
"Piper, please take deep breaths," James says, his voice stricken with panic.
My breathing becomes more erratic as my sobbing becomes harder. I force my way out of James' grip in attempt to continue to search for my pills.
I fall to the floor as soon as I stand up. I feel the walls closing in, my vision blurred from the tears, I am unable to even see James anymore. I can barely hear him either, all I hear is him scrambling and mumbling, everything else is drowned out my the ringing in my ears.
I think James is calling someone, I wonder who though, because my parents and sister went away for the weekend. Probably Riley. But I can't even focus on that right now as I start gasping for air.
James rushes back to my side.
"Piper, breathe," he says, although I can barely hear him.
I try to calm down, attempting to breathe in and out. My hearing is slowly coming back.
"I'll be right back, just stay here and keep breathing," he says and I feel his hands leave my arms.
I sit on the floor, trying to regain my breath and failing.
After a few seconds, I feel myself being pulled into a pair of warm arms. I finally feel my breathing start to return back to normal.
"Pipes, breathe. I'm here, I'm right here. It's gonna be okay," I hear.
I wipe my eyes and look up to see the most beautiful blue eyes, filled with tears, looking down at me.
"Finn," I cry and fall onto his shoulder.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
:)