II.
A SINGLE YAWN ESCAPED MY mouth while Ryan played with my toes as I finished my homework for the weekend, I took my glasses off and placed them onto the arm of the sofa as I rubbed my face before I looked at Ryan with a blurry vision. His eyes concentrating on the cartoon playing on the television screen with a smile on his face. I took my feet from his lap as I reached over to throw my textbook onto the coffee table in an attempt to make as much noise as possible, his eyes not moving from off the screen.
If people didn't know Ryan and me, they would probably think we were an item by how we acted towards one another. When in actuality we are just best friends, sure he kisses me and stupid crap like that but it never means anything. Well, I hope not. Don't get me wrong he is a good looking guy, just not my type of guy. The two of us have been friends since the age of five and now here we are with me being seventeen and him a year older and were still joined at the hip, much like when we were kids. Where one of us would go the other would follow. Sure we squabble over completely irrelevant things, but we have never fallen out and refused to not talk to one another. That's normally left between girls that I had been friends with previously. Too much drama that I don't need.
"Do you want to go grab a milkshake with me? I'll buy it." He spoke breaking the silence with his words when the show finished on the television I looked over at him. I looked at the time on my phone reading 7:43 pm, outside already dark from the autumn months as winter was drawing in closer than I would have hoped for the year, the wind starting to feel like ice when the sun was no longer in the sky to take the chill away.
"If you throw in a veggie burger too," I said with a smile making him roll his eyes, I may as well grab some dinner while we're out already knowing I have him wrapped around my little finger so he wouldn't say no. That's another thing about our relationship, he would do anything for me and I would do anything for him... within reason.
"Don't understand why you choose to eat them vile things. Why not have a real burger." He stated his face showing disgust as we got up from off the sofa with him pulling me to my feet with ease. I chose to ignore his comment since I could argue it and ask how can he eat an animal.
We made our way outside the house, leaving him to shut the door like normal since he always allows me to go through first. Such a gentleman. I took my keys out my bag to unlock the car doors as the two of us climbed in, the night air bringing goosebumps to the surface of my skin as the cold wrapped around me making me shiver. The first thing I did when I turned the engine on was to turn the heat on while I buckled up the seatbelt as I turned to look at Ryan, a heavy sigh escaping from his lips while I waited for him to do his seatbelt before driving off. If he had it his way he would never wear a seatbelt, I guess he wouldn't mind head butting the dashboard.
The whole drive to the restaurant Ryan and I argued over my vegetarianism and how he thinks it's stupid to not eat meat as it's part of the dietary requirements. While he ranted about my choice of lifestyle I just rolled my eyes and questioned how he could look at something living and think ' I'm going to cook and eat you ' . I was glad to get out the car to put distance in between the two of us, his mouth still rambling on while I walked away not wanting to hear it anymore.
"...It's like you choose to like girls." He said snapping me out of my ignorant ways of acting him like I couldn't hear him.
I spun around to face him stopping him dead in his tracks with my hand held out in front of me, pushing against his chest to stop him from walking as I hoped I miss heard him and he didn't say what I thought he had just said.
"Excuse me?" I said making him stare at me.
"Oh come on Bec. You ain't fooling anyone, you admitted it to me the night you was drunk." He defended himself while I tried to recall when I told him that I was gay. Not wanting to get into another debate I rolled my eyes and walked away inside of the diner.
"I was drunk, for all I know I could have told you I was in love with you," I commented walking to a table in the back corner, his feet following close behind me.
"Yeah...About that." He said slowly making me snap my head his way, a laugh escaping his lips as I sighed and lowered myself into the booth and onto the table bench, not finding the humour in this topic.
It's a lose-lose situation, if I react and defend myself then it sounds like I'm jumping the gun and trying to hide something and if I don't react, then it looks like I'm still hiding something.
"Must you constantly be a dick towards me?" I asked rhetorically, putting my head in my hands before looking up at him. A smirk plastered on his face as he looked at the menu, avoiding eye contact with me knowing he got the results he was looking for.
He already knows the best way to get under my skin and he's been doing it a lot lately. Ever since his sister came out as gay he's been trying to wind me up and I didn't even know if he honestly thought I was gay or if this is him blowing off whatever problem he has. All I know is, I am not gay, sure I can look at a girl and decide if she's good looking and whatever, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
"Yes, I'm such a dick that I'm buying you dinner. What milkshake you want?" He asked putting the menu back into its holder as he slid to the end of the bench waiting for me to tell him so he can get up and order it at the bar.
"Vanilla," I said with a smile, making him roll my eyes at how plain my food palette was compared to his. I never order anything new so I don't know why he still asks me unless he is waiting for the time where I finally do get something different.
Without another word he went and ordered our food and drinks while I pulled my phone out from my pocket to reply to a text from his sister Leah, recently we had been texting a lot more than we usually did and much to Ryan's dismay we seem to have become a lot closer than previously. Ryan slid back into the seat five minutes later with a table number in his hand as he put it onto the surface of the table to make sure I could see it. I looked up at him, flashing him a quick smile before looking at my phone one last time as I slid it back into my jeans pocket. I looked over to the waitress realising who it was, my eyes diverting towards Ryan as he gawked at her. I nodded my thanks for placing our drinks onto the table while I kicked Ryan in the leg to stop him from staring, his eyes still watching when she walked away as I took a sip of my milkshake, waiting for her to return with our food and for him to return back to earth.
I looked at him when he was done looking at Catherine, "what?" he asked at me incredulously as he glugged down most of his strawberry milkshake, ignoring that there was a straw for him to use.
"Are you done staring at her?" I asked making him nod his head yes, "she goes to my school. She's the new girl and the fearsome threesome want her." I told him sarcastically as he set his half-full drink to the side when a different waitress brought over our burgers and fries, setting the plates in front of us with my stomach grumbling.
"Think I'd have a chance with her?" he asked with his mouth full from taking a huge bite into his burger.
"If you eat like that, then no," I told him as I started on my fries, eating them one at a time and not like I'm a savage.
"Do you want her?" he asked with a childish smirk on his face before taking another bite of his burger, half of it already devoured while mine still remains untouched.
"Nope, I want your sister instead," I grinned a toothy grin, his smirk dropping off his face at my answer to his question. I couldn't help but let out a quick laugh as he avoided looking at me.
He didn't speak a word to me for the next next five minutes as I enjoyed the quiet and ate my food, not going to lie I did feel smug with myself, it's not often that I can shut him up and enjoy the silence.
"Why would you even say that to me?" he asked finishing off his burger as he sipped on his drink using the straw, disgust slightly written across his face at the thought of me going for his sister.
"Why do you keep accusing me of being a lesbian?." Not understanding his problem, I took a bite from out of my burger and waited for his answer. The look of defeat prominent on his features when he couldn't come up with an answer.
Knowing Ryan, I knew he didn't want to say anything that crossed the line that would either upset me or make me angry.
"Would you like another drink?" he asked, avoiding my question altogether and dropping the subject, taking money out of his wallet, resting his arms on the table while he leaned towards me slightly.
"No thank you, I still have half left," I smiled towards him as he got up from the chair with a puff of air escaping his cheeks.
I leaned back thinking about his accusation, I mean it's pretty much true I guess. I've never had an official boyfriend I've stayed with longer than a few weeks or a few months and as they say, when you're drunk you always speak the truth. I've already contemplated it when I was younger and I just chose to ignore the feelings. Up until this year. And somehow Ryan is on to me like he normally is when he knows I'm hiding something from him.
I let out a heavy sigh finishing off my veggie burger, my eyes scanning the diner for anyone else familiar that Ryan will be willing to hop on while we are here. A sneer pulled up on my lips when I spotted Tiffany and Amanda four tables down before Chrissie sat down to join the pair. It's like where ever I am, the three of them are always around. At least they don't recognise me outside of school which I'm grateful for because without a doubt they would be starting crap with me right about now. It doesn't matter how many people could be around, Chrissie loved to be the centre of attention whenever she could be.
Queen. Bitch.
I finished off my food by the time Ryan came back with his milkshake in a takeaway cup, "ready?" he asked standing next to the table. Maybe the conversation rubbed him the wrong way.
Note to self, don't joke about Leah.
I nodded my head as I got up from the chair with a small stretch a smile on his face as he took my hand, causing me to give him a frown while he shrugged holding out a piece of paper with a number on. I took it out his hand reading it, the bottom signed by Catherine making me laugh slightly as I handed it back to him while we walked out the diner.
"You've always got to get someone, no matter where we are." I shook my head slightly with a smile while I unlocked the car doors.
"Did you see how hot she is?" he asked rhetorically.
"Yes." Answering his question anyway, making him look at me when I started the engine of the car.
"Okay, no more joking. Answer me honestly, are you gay, Bec?" I felt my cheeks warm up as I kept my eyes on the dark country road, feeling his glare on the side of my face.
I let out a sigh, "No, I'm just agreeing with you, yeah she is attractive which is beside the point." Stopping the conversation before it carried on further again. "Are you staying around mine, or do you want me to drop you off home?" I asked, my turn to change the topic this time around.
"I'll sleep at yours." He smiled, normally staying at mine when the weekend came around the corner.
-
After having what seemed to be a blissful weekend with none stop questioning from Ryan, Monday finally arrived forcing me to endure the hell hole again. Alone. I closed the car door behind me as I made my way to the building, my bag slung over my shoulder as I tied my hair up into its usual bun while I took in a heavy breath. A grunt escaped my lips when I saw the trio standing in the hallway making me feel like this morning was going to be difficult when my eyes landed on the new girl that Ryan pulled leaning up against my locker.
I shook my head slightly trying to clear my mind, praying that she doesn't want to talk about Ryan because if that's the case I'd rather not converse. I nodded my head to her in a greeting fashion as she moved down a locker with a smile so I could get into mine, I felt her eyes on my face as I put the combination in so I could put my bag away and take the books that I needed out.
A sigh escaped my lips as I turned to look at her with a cold glare, a tiny smile playing on her rosy pink lips. We just carried on looking at one another, neither one of us making any attempt to start a conversation. Before things got awkward or we decided to gaze into each other's eyes hopelessly like star-crossed lovers, I turned around to make my way to my first class leaving her following behind me, considering we have it together.
I sat down in my usual seat in the middle of the room while I watched her take a stool next to me causing me to drop my head in my hands, the lesson hasn't even started and I already wanted out and wishing I was ill so I didn't have to be here. In all honesty, I wish I was a freaking recluse and never left the confined walls of my bedroom. My eyes watched the others flow into the classroom through the gap inbetween my fingers, their eyes automatically looking at Catherine and I sitting next to one another. I pulled up a weak smile on my lips when I sat back in my stool when Amanda walked into the room and took her usual seat in front of me, her eyes not even looking at the two of us behind her when she sat down on the lab stool with a face of thunder.
Not going to lie, I feel sorry for the person who made her angry. Amanda had an a very short fuse, catching her in the years tearing into somebody that got on the wrong side of her, luckily I haven't been one of them people...Yet.
The teacher entered the room as he hushed the class down before starting the lesson off with the register, checking off our names one by one. I felt dread hit the pit of my stomach when I knew what he was going to say after he filled in the attendance list, it's like every other stereotypical thing to happen in a lab class. He will issue us out partners to do a project in and out of class since he already announced it last week, where I'll most probably end up with the new girl leaving me with no life or time for anything else. God help me, if that happened I will definitely become a recluse and only come out at night for feeding time.
I listened as he read out the list of names grouping them all together knowing, either way, whoever I end up with will never be in my favour as I dislike the majority of the people in this class. My stomach started to feel nauseous as I started to feel apprehensive with who I was going to be paired with. Praying that it was going to be with someone nice at least.
"...Rebecca Wilson..." With Catherine whatever her surname is, "...Amanda DeCeno." Okay, maybe I was completely wrong and right about now I wanted to shoot myself in the head than be paired up with the bitch from hell. Well, I guess I should be happy the other two didn't take this class, Amanda maybe being the better one out of the three but still a bitch regardless.
I let my head drop onto the table with an audible bang, a dull pain running along my forehead as I rubbed my fingertips over the area when I sat back up. An unimpressed look crossed over the teacher's face when he looked at me before carrying on with the list. I watched Amanda turn around to look at me with a grimace as I gave her a fake smile and a hum making her turn back around, I rolled my eyes at her as I carried on listening to the teacher.
"So, your friend Ryan was rather persistent on Saturday." Catherine final spoke up when the teacher told us to complete the objectives on the board, my pen already in hand completing the tasks as I kept the small talk to a minimum. Never really being one for it.
"Yep, he always gets what he wants," I said with a nod of my head, saying nothing more to her as she got down to her work.
"Are you always this talkative?" she joked making me look at her, her eyes looking greyer from the last time I looked at them.
"Pretty much." I sighed looking away from her to the back of Amanda's head. I know if she wasn't such a bitch, I would consider her pretty but her personality ruins everything. The I-don't-give-a-shit attitude does grow tiresome.
"Do you only answer with a few words?" this time, I just nodded to her question making her sigh at the lack of communication between us. Like I said I hated small talk. I found it uninteresting and boring. Unless the person doesn't attend the same school as me, I would give them the benefit of the doubt.
I looked up from my notebook seeing that Amanda had swivelled around in her stool to face me, her facial expression showing annoyance probably from being paired up with me, I mean I wasn't too excited and jumping for joy either but at least she is smart. That's one thing.
"Don't worry, DeCeno. I'm not overly excited about working with you either." I said being upfront, seeing Catherine from the corner of my eye look directly at me then to Amanda.
"Don't give yourself the satisfaction, Wilson." She scoffed looking me up and down, a bored look placed across my face when I realised she wasn't done talking. "Where we going to do this then, because you are not coming to my house." She stated.
"What makes you think I want to, and you ain't coming 'round mine either. So I guess we're just going to have to settle for the library." I said with a shrug while she played with her dark brown hair, her brown eyes looking back at me before she turned around.
I felt myself grit my teeth as my hands balled into fists while I imagined doing something violent to her, I shook my head slightly relieving the violent thoughts so I could get back to my work in peace and save the hatred for later. I'm just going to have to keep telling myself the months will flyby and before I know it we would be parting ways and I'll be saying 'adios'.