I begin walking back towards the house, my body emerging from the woods as Zion's golden eyes are trained on me, shock written across his face as he watches my wolf approach him rather than my human form. I had been gone for an hour or two, running trough the forest, before deciding to return back before the sun would set. Zion kneels down before me, reaching out his hand as I allow him to run his fingers through my coat of fur, his fingers grasping my thick coat as he looks my wolf deep in the eyes. I can still see the pain in his eyes from earlier, the look of a man who knew he truly screwed up in what he did. Leaning his forehead forward, he rests his against mine as he takes in a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly as he lets go of my fur. "Fiona said this was not possible...she did not bring back your wolf," Zion mumbles to himself, his voice shaky as he looks to me, his eyes watering as I begin to shift back to human form, my bones snapping as soon enough I am left in the nude of my human form.
Immediately, Zion takes off his jacket and hands it to me to cover up. His eyes barely linger long enough as I put on the jacket and pull it tight around my body. "I have no explanation except the goddess herself gifted you the soul of your wolf back."
"I have missed the feeling of running through the woods," I comment, looking back to the forest as Zion steps back from me, still unsure of just how close he can get to me. "I forgot what freedom felt like, to run as my paws dig into the mud and dirt."
We walk back to the house, Zion rushing to my room to gather me a change of clothes as I head to the bathroom. As I am given the clothes and shut the door, I look at the mirror, towards my eyes as I begin to concentrate on pushing my wolf out, my eyes darkening as she begins to come forth. My canines begin to pick at my lips, hair spurting out of my skin as I look at the small transformation before a knock at the door makes me come to a stop and stay in human form. Changing into a pair of jeans and shirt, I exit the room to see Zion leaning against the wall as he looks to me. "You used to run though the royal grounds with me at the palace before all of this," he recalls, reminding me of the underground tunnels which ran to the royal grounds where we would go on evening runs and often swim in the river past the treeline together.
"I do not know what happened." I do not, for one second I was filled with range and the next I was shifting into my wolf. It did help me to release stress, to forget what caused me to be so angry, and to make me feel free. But now I find a bitter taste in my mouth once more as I look at Zion, remembering everything he did.
"I know what I did has hurt you, Sybil," Zion begins, pushing off the wall. "I know what I did cannot be undone, but if we do not push past this then we will be stuck in this loop forever."
"I cannot simply forget what you did," I snap, feeling my wolf surface already. I begin to walk away from Zion, knowing I cannot allow myself to lose control here and let my wolf come out. "No one can simply forget what you did, especially the families of those you massacred."
I head for my room, twirling the ring around my finger from Keva as I recall how, while everything else I wore was torn off while I shifted, her ring transformed with my body, elongating into a bracelet which wrapped around my front leg so it would not simply be broken in transformation. Looking over my shoulder, I see Zion standing in the center of the hallway leading up to me, my fingers grasping the knob of the door as I shut the door with a softness, our eyes connected as I shut him out.
<><>
The next few days are a blur, my mind wrapping around everything Zion has done as his words repeat over and over again in my head. He is right, we cannot move on if I am stuck on what he did. Lily Maxwell learned to love someone like Zion, but Nixon was willing to change in his ways for her, to protect her, and to show mercy to others in the process. Zion showed me love and care in the palace, but what hurts me is that he told me those dark days died when Lillian did as well. Zion lied to me and continued to massacre others while he came home to me at night.
I learned much about politics while I lived in the palace, for the corruption present there was something I thought was exaggerated. I knew men and women of power always lie, but I expected Zion to be honest with me. He vowed to be loving, to be protective, and be honest when we married. He broke those vows the moment he spoke them.
Is Zion a different man now? He did so much just to get me back, but he also broke his promise to Fiona's coven and I had to make him promise when I finally got my memories back. He kept twisting their deal around to suit him, Fiona's hatred only growing for Zion every day.
I look out to the small stream before me, a few feet wide as the water runs over small stones. My head rests on my paws as I watch the water run, the small currents carrying small sticks by as I watch them for entertainment. Penelope was one of the few Alphas who told me the truth, who was on my side, and warned me of things. Zion has not spoken her name once and it makes me wonder if he did anything to her or her pack. I considered Penelope a friend in the palace, one of the few I could talk with when she would visit.
Pushing off, I begin walking back to the house, my snout picking up the fresh air in the wind as I find myself relaxed. Approaching the familiar tree, I shift back into my human form and change into my clothes, keeping an eye out for Zion as I do not wish to look so vulnerable. I walk back to the house, the house cold and empty as I remember it looked warm and welcoming when Zion first took me here. I spot him in the living room, on his phone as he lounges on the couch.
As I enter the house, I can hear Zion begin to move around in the living room. We have barely spoken since the day I was first able to shift into my wolf. Entering the living room, I stand in the archway of the room, meeting the gaze of the lonely king. "What ever happened to Penelope? You have not spoken her name yet."
Zion seems surprised for me to be speaking with him, his posture straightening as he looks to me. "What do you mean?" Zion asks as I repeat my question again. "She was there at your funeral," Zion trails off, recalling the day he laid me to rest. "Her and her mate were both there...she offered me a chance to talk if I ever needed it. I never took her up on her offer, I didn't want to be reminded of the life you lived in the palace, the friends you made, the moments you created, and I remember the night I almost threw myself from the tallest tower." Zion's words are filled with pain as he recalls those days of the past. "It was Penelope who told me to step down as Alpha King, for I was not well, barely did any of my duties, and was losing myself. I called her a disgrace for suggesting I just toss away my crown...but she was right."
"You did more than call her a disgrace, didn't you?" I ask, remembering the strong and stubborn Alpha that Penelope has always been. "She would not back down from those words."
"I ordered my guards to throw her out of the palace, that I did not want to see her ever step foot in the palace again. I called her a disgrace not only for suggesting I step down, but I also attacked her on the part that she mated with a human."
He disrespect Penelope and her mate, something I have always known to never do. "I always knew that when people harassed her over her human mate, that is where they would strike a nerve. That day, her Alpha King called her a disgrace before members of the Senate for mating with a human...something I do not think she could ever forgive me for." Looking outside, Zion tries to avert his gaze from mine. "She screamed at me as she was tossed outside the palace that I should recognize that you were dead and I need to move on, that grieving forever will never make life happy again. Her words made me wonder if I could bring you back to life."
"Is she still someone we could not trust to offer protection?" I ask, thinking practically with our ties to Penelope. "You may have burned some of the bridge you had with her, but she respected me and I doubt she would turn us away if I was to talk with her."
"You would risk someone else knowing you are alive," Zion points out.
I nod, knowing what asking Penelope for help would mean. I have hope when it comes to Alpha Penelope. "Ask for her to meet you here, to not bring anyone else with her. Her pack is only a state away."
"If I called she would hang up on the spot," Zion comments.
"Leave her a message saying you need to talk with her, to take her up on the offer she made to you." I watch as Zion raises an eyebrow, looking at me as he does not know what to say. "Tell her you need a friend more than ever now."
<><>
I watch from afar as Zion hangs up his phone, leaving a message for Alpha Penelope, the food getting cold as I notice Zion pinch the bridge of his nose and look out the window. A sudden vibration of his phone of a text pulls our attention as I wonder if Penelope listened to his message that soon. Zion's eyes reflect the light of his phone, his fingers hovering over the keyboard as I watch with an eagerness in my eyes. Looking up to me, Zion nods his head, informing me that Penelope has agreed to meet with him. Zion tells me he will let her know the address of the house as well as to come alone.
Penelope has responded that she will be here by nine at night, that she will start driving soon. Taking in a mouthful of our meal, I concentrate on the fact that an old friend will learn of my rebirth. Will she be angry, surprised, sad, or happy? Will she have a mix of all those emotions?
Taking a seat beside me, Zion begins to eat his meal as well, our time spent in the kitchen silent as I try and recall the moments I had with Penelope. She was always speaking with a sharp and witty tongue, willing to give the honest truth and not keep you from it.
"The things I did, Sybil, how I told you my darkest past was behind me when we were together, I was telling the truth," Zion disrupts the silence with his words. "The version of me which Lillian influenced was dark, I was bitter and gave no one respect. I would hold meetings in the palace and rule them with an iron fist rather than listen to others, I used others, I told my kingdom that rogues were disgusting, and I never gave anyone mercy. When I met you, I had begun to change...I was willing to listen to others, I gave others respect, and I was willing to give mercy to those who were put on trail before me rather than have them executed.
"Meeting you was a great influence on me. You made me see more light in the world, you made me respect rogues more than ever, and you were changing me through the days. I still continued my misdeeds because they had to be done. If you were to compare the misdeeds I did when Lillian was alive compared to when you were around, you will see many of my misdeeds were more merciful and justified than when Lillian had me. I know killing your mate was wrong, but the ways he spoke to you, how he rejected you so quickly, and even called you names before you, I could not handle that," Zion explains, reaching out as he gently puts his hand on mine. "Who I am is a believer in that people can change and you showed me that."
Our eyes hold a soft gaze towards one another, his eyes beginning to water as they swirl with golden shades. "I am your man, still, even if you died. The more I am around you, the more I see the good in the world. I was wrong to try and kill Lily Maxwell...I know I am not justified in that action, and I do not expect for you to forgive me for that misdeed especially. I just want you to realize that I am mortal, I make mistakes, and I continue to learn and change from them. I just want you to accept me as I am, for I am imperfect and still learning how to properly look at life."
His words are sincere, filling with remorse as Zion places a finger gently under my chin. I hear the birds outside chirping, their songs filled with cheer as a war in my mind plays out. "It will take me time to accept that you did those things to people, but I accept that you are imperfect. Show me that you are still learning an changing who you are, and we may be able to get out of this part of our lives. I always knew I was dating someone with a dark side, that I married someone with that side, and I want you to prove to me that you have changed and continue to," I express, Zion coming in closer as he pulls my chin up higher.
Lips softly press against mine, a hand placed upon my cheek as he is gentle with me. My hands are placed upon his chest, one moving up to his shoulder and then cups around the back of his neck as I keep him close. Zion gets off his stool, towering over me as my neck cranks up to meet his lips still as they softly duel. Placing his hands on my waist, Zion lifts me up to the counter, his arms wrapping around my body as he pulls me in for a tight huge, my face buried in the crook of his neck. "I believe that you see me for who I am," Zion whispers, "I am not afraid to let myself show you the softer sides to my being, that I am a fucking mess without you, and I want to continue to be your lover and perhaps one day again to be your husband."
His words pull at my heart as I wrap my arms tighter around his body. "Just do not keep things from me, be honest with me, and do not pretend to be stronger than you really are," I express, pulling my head up as I look to those golden eyes. Reaching up, I wipe away a stray tear running down his cheek. I place a soft kiss upon his cheek as I know Zion is vulnerable right now, showing me the man behind the walls he has built up around himself.
We continue our meal as I watch the minutes tick by, my nerves racking up inside me as I know Penelope will be here soon. As I finish dinner and begin to head to the living room, Zion holds out for me his black book, offering me more of his past to read through. Taking the book in my hand, I also talk hold of his hand, walking the two of us towards the backyard as I grab from the cabinet a few items. As we enter onto the patio, I walk towards the sitting area where a fire pit is. Starting up the fire pit, I crank up the degrees, watching the flames go higher.
Looking to Zion, I give him back the book, motioning for him to go ahead and make the move. "Are you sure?" He asks, shocked I would recommend this.
"You said you do not want to focus on the past, but to move on, and this is a step to moving on."
Zion tosses his book to the flames, the scent of burning leather and paper filling the night air as we watch the flames consume the book. Reaching over, Zion places his hand around my waist as I allow him to come closer, the warmth of the fire spreading over to us as we stand in silence watching the book become nothing more but ash. Have I forgiven Zion for what he did? Forgiving is different than moving on...there is a thin line between the two. In time, I hope I hope I can do both.
Soon enough, the hours pass by and it is minutes away from the time of Penelope's arrival. I sit in the living room, staring out the window like a dog watching the neighborhood, waiting for the first sign of her car. Zion sits across from me, book in his lap as we wait for our visitor. Within seconds I spot headlights coming up the road, getting closer as I swallow the lump in my throat. Getting to my feet, I exclaim to Zion that Penelope is here. I watch as her car pulls into the driveway and the auburn-haired Alpha steps out and heads for the front door. I rush over to the front door, clearing my throat as I wait for her to knock at the door. The three knocks on the door are enough for me to pull open the door and stare into the shocked eyes of an old friend.
"Sybil," she mutters, looking me over and over as I nod, Zion standing behind me as Penelope looks to her past king. "What the hell did you do, Zion?"