When Imogen Zezinger was a very little girl, she sobbed. She sobbed at any little thing, practically screaming with the depth of her heavy emotions, crammed inside her tiny body. These were not tantrums, you must realize. They were bouts of loneliness and sadness, most times inexplicable, that no child should feel.
She had a good home. She had no siblings to torment her. A handful of cousins who ignored her. A handful of friends who did the same. She diligently took swim lessons, and played basketball, and joined the art club. As she got older and older, her sobs became muffled in closets, as her parents shouted at one another beneath her floorboards.
Everything was right. Yet everything was also wrong.
Imogen learned to be quiet. She trained her mind to relax, to focus on only the present, and try not to spiral into the future or the past. She liked when her friends began calling her Zez, because they thought Imogen was too stuffy. She liked walking slightly behind them. She liked being brave by herself and quiet in the crowd. Sure, she liked it.
Imogen Zezinger was not the perfect picture of a heroine. With her bad hair and too-casual attitude, she did not belong in this narrative. She should still have been picking lemons.
~
A light breeze blew into the tent, cool enough to make Zez stir awake. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the darkness and the body next to her. Zanya was curled up tightly, her hands to herself, and silver hair covering her face and bare shoulders. The two women were facing one another, but they did not touch. Zez shivered.
She reached out, to cup Zanya's cheek. Her fingers brushed against warm skin. There was a moment where Zanya softly sighed, and Zez leaned in, but then was being flipped over. She tried to cry out, but Zanya was wide awake and feral, pinning her throat down.
"Don't-" Zanya hissed, her eyes wide and angry. Then, they roved over Zez, whose heart had just about stopped. "Oh, Zez."
She rolled off, but pulled her knees to her chest. Zez gasped for air, rubbing her throat.
"What's wrong with you?" she wheezed. "I...I..."
"I'm so sorry," Zanya tucked her long hair behind her ears. "Please, I truly, I just startled. I'm always on edge. I didn't mean to hurt you, I...I think I was having nightmares," she shuddered. "I felt myself drift into the Umber."
Zez sat up. "You scared me."
"I apologize."
Her breathing was uneven. Enough of Zez's friends suffered from panic attacks for her to recognize the beginning stages. Her fear melted, as she inched closer to Zanya. The woman was gritting her teeth, trying to catch her breath, her lips moving in what almost looked like prayer.
"I have to get some air," Zanya whispered, grabbing her clothes, and throwing them on, all while trying to control her breath. "Wait here. Please."
She disappeared from the tent, leaving Zez alone in the dark. Zez wrapped the thin blanket around her bare body, shivering. She hadn't woken up beside a lot of people, two or three max, and it had never gone like this before. She suspected it wasn't the sex. Oh, God, she hoped it wasn't the sex that made Zanya flee. Her cheeks heated up.
Zez was the type of person who fell hard and fast, despite her reservations as a person. She kept to herself, but she would readily pour herself into the lap of another. Zez chewed on her bottom lip, feeling more alone than ever. She reached over for her satchel. The stuffed rabbit looked at her.
Zez picked the toy up, running her fingers over the silky ears. The flap to the tent flipped open and she shoved it back into the bag. Instead of Zanya sticking her head into the tent, Esphina peered in. Her blue eyes narrowed.
"What did you do?" she hissed.
"Nothing!" Zez scrambled to pull the blanket up higher, baring her ankles in the process. "Where is Zanya? Is she alright?"
"She's fine. Did you upset her?" Esphina said. She looked around the rumpled tent, her lip curling up in disgust. "Were you that bad?"
"Can you leave?" Zez said. She hated both the way jealousy was splayed across Esphina's face and the way her heart sneered in triumph. "I need to get dressed."
Esphina disappeared, leaving Zez to deal with everything pressing down upon her. As she pulled on her pants and buttoned up her shirt, and ran fingers through her tangled hair, she thought about what she had done. She had known Zanya for...well...not that long. She was dealing with glares and grimaces for a jealous warrior. She was about to head into a dangerous forest, to hunt down monsters and madmen.
"Good going, Zezinger," she muttered to herself, wiggling her shoes on. "Sleep with the woman who is holding you hostage. Piss off her terrifying friend. Go on a road trip to just kill some random guy. Great job, really good work here."
She swallowed as a lump grew in her throat. The flap opened again and before she could yell at Esphina to leave, Zanya crawled back in. Her hair was piled on top of her head, and somehow, she had managed to paint her lips pink.
"Are you okay?" Zanya asked. Her fingers lifted Zez's chin.
"Me? What about you?"
"I merely needed to collect myself," she said. "I didn't mean to run away from what happened between us. That is not what happened. And Esphina was bothering you, I will-"
"It's fine, she's fine," Zez stood up. "We...we're still cool though?"
"Cool?"
"I mean, we didn't," she hesitated. "We didn't ruin anything between us?"
"Absolutely not," Zanya said. "You will be spending the remainder of this journey in my tent, dear Zez. Is that clear?"
Her smile was bright and hopeful, and Zez felt a similar grin stretch across her own face. She quickly pressed a kiss to Zanya's lips.
"I understand," Zez said, their lips still brushing. "But I think for Esphina's sake-"
"Come on!" Esphina demanded, from outside the tent. A door to the car slammed. "Let's get going! We don't want to be late!"
Both women chuckled, but did start cleaning up their mess and packing things up.
"Late for what?" Zez asked.
"Esphina has quite an obsession with time," Zanya said. "She always has, ever since we were children. She always, always wears her hourglass. She is constantly checking it. And she is always yelling about being late or being early, even when there is nothing to get to."
"That's kinda strange."
"We all have our quirks," Zanya said.
"Like Rhapsody and his vase throwing?"
Zanya's expression darkened. "We also all have our own troubles."
~
One may find the rest of the car's journey to the Ballads quite bland. Although the scenery was beautiful, the conversation between the three women remained rather flat. Awkward comments about the pretty flowers dotting the hills. Complaints about how the backseat was very cramped. Mutterings about nightmares and losing sleep, punctuated with a series of snappish comments.
"Zanya," Zez said, carefully. They had been driving for a very long time, avoiding all the little villages they passed. Quaint buildings tucked into the hills that promised good food and warm people. "Back in the clearing, you mentioned something about...the Umber?"
"What?" Esphina shot forward, her body crowding the space between the driver and passenger seats. "Zanya, please tell me you did not tell this stranger of the Umber."
"Firstly," Zanya pinched Esphina's cheek. "Sit back before we hit a bump and you go flying through this glass. Secondly, Zez is not a stranger."
"Oh, I forgot," Esphina said, sitting back. "You two were very friendly last night."
Zez paled. "You heard-"
"All of Tol Tava heard," Esphina snapped. "Some discretion would have done you well."
"Please," Zanya said. "We are all adults, let us act like it. Esphina, I'm free to sleep with whomever I wish, whenever I wish. Zez, next time, I suppose it would not hurt to be a little more quiet."
Zez blushed at the indication of next time.
"Wait," she said, twisting around to glare slightly at Esphina. The woman was gazing grumpily out the window. "You were just trying to distract us. Zanya, what's the Umber?"
"The Umber," Zanya said. "Well...it is a bit difficult to explain, you see. It is...beyond. It is where you slip into when you dream, you see, but those are only visions of such a place. It is a land of legend, it is both good and evil, and it-"
"It's not real," Esphina said, flatly. "People can spin all the stories they want. Zanya can babble on as much as she wants. But the Umber is not real."
"Watch your tongue," Zanya said.
"Watch yours."
"Esphina Emerento."
"Zanya Selstonia," Esphina huffed. "Can we just...may we not? It is enough we are taking her to the sacred temple of the Stargazer. I do wish you would be more careful."
"Do you doubt me?"
"No. I doubt...others."
"Okay, it's fine, it's fine," Zez said, wanting to keep the peace. Her fingers gripped tightly onto the steering wheel. "You don't have to tell me about the Umber. It would probably just scare the shit out of me. Why don't we talk about something...happier?"
There was an awkward pause.
"I could tell you about the time Esphina ate an entire bucket of jam," Zanya said, slyly. "And threw up all over my mother's good silver. She wasn't welcome back to Mordomus for quite some time after that."
"Hey," Esphina whined. "I was very small!"
"You were already training to be a Maiden."
"No, I certainly was not. And if you insist on bringing up the jam, then we must talk about the time you and Rhapsody ate flowers."
"Oh, we got in such trouble," Zanya snickered.
Zez relaxed as the two women actually began to act like friends. She had been wary of their dynamic this entire time, not quite knowing what was between them, but as stories of their childhood in the Garden bubbled and frothed to the surface, she could see their camaraderie tumble into place. Perhaps Esphina did carry feelings for Zanya. Perhaps Zanya really didn't care. Zez just kept her eyes on the road and continued to drive.
"We really don't need to stop in any of these little towns?" she asked, as they slowly began to descend down the giant hill. The dirt road became a bit smoother, the car gliding a bit faster. "We don't need to pick up any supplies or stop to pee, before going to the big, bad forest?"
"We have everything we need," Zanya said. "Do not fret, dear Zez."
"I am sure that villagers would not be all too pleased to see two women of the Garden saunter in their dwellings," Esphina said. "We are supposed to be fable and fairy tale."
"How would they even know?" Zez wondered out loud. "The silver hair?"
"No," Zanya said. "Everyone in this land has either hair of white or silver. You are the only unusual one here, sweet thing, with your...style."
The new nickname sent a tingle down Zez's spine. Zanya had whispered it in the throes of their passion, traced it across Zez's skin, in between flushed kisses and artful sighs. She caught sight of a slight smirk playing at the corner of Zanya's mouth.
"One simply knows," Esphina said. "We are not like the common."
Her next question faded from her tongue, as the Fiat pushed on through a thicket of trees, and dipped down violently. Everyone let out of a hiss, as the slope startled them and the car shot forward. As they raced down the hill, Zez wondered why there were no other carriages or carts on the road. During their entire journey, they had come across nothing.
"Why are we alone?" she asked. "Where are all the traders and travelers?"
"I don't know," Zanya said. "Trade is tricky in these hills and I have not traveled in some time, so how am I to know the routes of caravans?"
"Caravans," Zez said, biting down hard on the word. "Hm."
"There!" Esphina shot forward for the second time, this time using her staff to point out of the windshield. "Zanya, is that the Ballads? Over, over to the right?"
Zez and Zanya sat up taller in their seats. Esphina was far taller than either of them, giving her an advantage. Zez craned her neck, and as the hill dipped slightly, and they turned again, there was a sight of such eerie splendor before them. A forest, as large as could possibly be, covered the entire valley. Trees stretched up towards the stars, creating a canopy so thick that it seemed one could walk across it.
The road they were currently on seemed to disappear into the thicket, plunging their path into darkness. They were inching closer and closer, the trees growing larger and more terrifying, twisting in the deepest shades of every color.
"The Ballads," Zanya breathed. "Oh, how sweet and dangerous you are."
"I thought the trip would take longer," Zez said, weakly. Her hands were clammy. "I didn't realize it was so close to the Garden."
"Tol Tava is not a large land," Esphina said.
"That fucking forest is a large land."
"Hush," Zanya said. A wicked sort of grin crept across her beautiful face. "For we have work to do."
--
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! We have reached the Ballads and a whole slew of characters are coming up.
I also hope that you are all staying safe and active in this time. On my Instagram, I have been sharing many resources regarding the Black Lives Matter movements and resources to help educate ourselves and protest the brutal violation of human rights. My account is @levlyonnewrites. Thank you. Stay safe and healthy.
-Lev