QOTD: favourite tv show? i need a new one HAHA
Adeline's POV
#justiceforjolivia
#shesouttaline
#addiephillipsisoverparty
#clouttalinephillips
#joshuassecretgirl
𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 of the hashtags that were trending in the community now. I had deleted my Twitter and I was looking at everything through a fake account, I couldn't stop.
They hated me.
Well a solid 80% of them did, but they were the loudest of them all. The ones who supported Josh through thick and thin were now judging him for liking a girl who looked so ..."basic".
There were people ho also didn't know me who were trying to defend me, fans who understand that Josh is a human who can do whatever he wants and that I had feelings too - but they were getting lost in the crowd of my scrolling. Because even the ones who were supporting us were using the same shitty hashtags of the attackers; so it just seemed like a long-ass thread of hate to start trending.
Josh was now a disappointment to them for no longer being 'single'. even though i wasn't sure if we were even dating. we kissed a couple times and that mistaken PDA but there was nothing official about any of it. We were just having fun for two seconds and it turned out for the worse.
He was losing the hype because random people 'lost their chance' with him. And some were just cancelling him again. Some 'supporters' they were.
They barely knew anything about me but they had screenshots of my tweets, my Instagram posts and my fucking Facebook profile, and decided that I was comparable to a bag of flour. Or, I was really funny on Twitter - especially because I was talking a lot about the show - which then meant I was just using Josh for clout. But the majority of tweets detailed that I wasn't a multitalented celebrity who could match up to the caliber of Joshua Bassett. Only Olivia could. How did I deserve him?
The thing that made it all worse, was that I was starting to believe it all.
Like, why me? I really wasn't anything special - I felt like a Bella or an Elena or a Tori, where everyone around me had something better to offer yet the guy of everyone's dreams, seemed to like me. I was a teen just trying to get through this weird decade and get a good job after this internship to support my family. Someone who had like one friend and some shitty baggage and happened to like their new Disney+ Original show.
And that simple yet significant life that I felt so comfortable in, crumbled before my eyes within hours on social media. I had no control over how I as being viewed anymore. None of them knew me, or my intentions - for fucks sake they barely knew Josh but they decided I wasn't good enough.
Which only reminded me, how I've felt that the both times I fell for someone. It ended chaotically and I was left feeling like I deserved it...because I should've known better than to think I could have the guy of my dreams.
Was he the guy of my dreams now? I didn't even feel like I had the choice it decide that anymore.
I spaced out for a few moments on my FaceTime call, having all these thoughts on a routinely loop.
"Addie I told you not to go on Twitter - please don't cry" Blaire pleaded, a face of worry on my screen as I rubbed my nose and sniffed.
"I'm - I'm not crying just recovering from my cold" I argued and she weakly smiled. Yeah we both knew I was just trying not to sob.
"I fucking wish I could be there and make you some nachos, we'd eat like pigs and watch FRIENDS like in middle school" she continued. I laughed through a small cry and pressed onto my cheeks.
I just wanted to stay in my hotel room, people from the cast were asking if I needed company or a distraction but I politely declined. I just wanted my best friend who has been there through it all.
"How's Angelo doing?" I asked. She smirked before switching the camera and filmed a few moments of him skating from one side of the park to the other. Now that Jordan's lessons were over, Blaire stepped up to just keep an eye on him while he did whatever the hell he wanted.
"He's getting better, I swear he's more pissed than me for what's happening to you though. I mean he was always the one looking out for you, asking what the fuck you and Josh were...oh sorry" she quickly apologized after mentioning Josh's name but I chuckled.
"Don't need to get mad at him Boba, it's not his fault that everyone hates me" I tried to say with a sarcastic chuckle, but she didn't laugh. I guess having your best friend getting publicly hated on by strangers is almost as bad to be the one going through it. Not quite, but close ish.
"So...where is he?" she asked shyly and I subconsciously looked at the door. I could be dealing with this by his side, but I just couldn't face him right now. I couldn't face anyone right now.
"He's at a café down the street with Chels and some of the cast, having breakfast - but hey I'm set with mine" I added whilst showing her my extra large cup of coffee from room service.
"You guys should talk though, I mean it's just going to get more awkward the more you put it off...even if it's going to be like the worst conversation ever" she said and I sighed heavily.
"I don't even know what to say Blaire, I mean I don't know if I should stand up for myself on social media or not, so many peole that enjoyed my tweets suddenly cancelling me as if I committed a crime - people that didn't even know I exist are immediately hating me...and that wont' stop if I'm still with him - and even if I do say something" I complained. This wasn't the relatable type of problem she could immediately give advice on sadly, so she just kind of sat there and frowned.
"I guess you can just say fuck the haters 'cause you did nothing wrong, just confront everyone- okay that is the least Addie thing I've ever said" Blaire and I forced a chuckle. Can't say she doesn't know me.
"I know that's the answer but like I'm the least built to deal with all this shit" I said whilst looking into the wall.
"Yeah I mean you couldn't even stand up to Jockstrap for months, I had to step in bitch" she retorted and I rolled my eyes as she ate another fry with utmost sass.
"Thanks...but no you're not wrong" I conceded and she chuckled softly. But soon our expressions turned solemn again.
"Okay so...that's what you would do though if you were in my position?" I asked her. She however turned silent and my brows furrowed.
"Blaire - would you just stand up to it all and deal with the hate or?" I repeated. But I felt like I already got my answer.
"Okay listen, the fact that he's Joshua Bassett, a lot of girls would think it's crazy to like give any of that up just 'cause of some hate. But you actually know him...it's not up to me - do you think he's worth it, like screwing all the 'he's Joshua Bassett shit" she asked and I really thought about it for a few moments. But the answer was obvious.
"I mean of course he's worth it but," I began and I just ended up looking out the window. But she understood what I meant already.
"Is it worth everyone yelling at both of you for it, I dunno" she ended on my behalf. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments as I just tried to grasp what I wanted from all this.
There's not a day that goes past in his head where he isn't scared to get cancelled or just hated on again. He doesn't talk about it but I know it. And now I'm the reason it's happening and I just didn't want that on him.
"But at least he's more worth it than any other guy you've been with" she declared and I bared my teeth awkwardly.
"I haven't actually thought about Jordie in a while y'know - like usually he crosses my mind like everyday but for this weekend...he just didn't come up" I replied and I looked up to see a very proud best friend on my screen.
"We stan self growth on this channel," Blaire teased and we laughed together in harmony, "he hasn't even bothered me either which is a bust, I haven't yelled at anyone in a while" she said with a devious smile and I scoffed.
"You can yell at me, yell at me for avoiding Josh and all my problems again" I insisted whilst shaking my phone but her eyes told me she didn't approve. Blaire was always the one to push me and him together but this time, she was just looking out for me.
"Before you were just avoiding him because you couldn't admit feelings, it was like you vs yourself or you vs josh, but now...it's you vs. Twitter - and I don't see it stopping" she replied with melancholy in her tone and I slumped into my bed.
"Can't these so called 'fans' get a life and not hate on a dork like me I swear to God...they keep saying I don't deserve him and I know that but - "
"Hey!" Blaire interrupted and my eyes went wide at her volume, "he may be Richard Bowen but you are not inferior to the guy - you're deadass the most wholesome, helpful and sweetest person I know, you bitch. So don't even say that, Josh and I both agree you're out of his league" she yelled as she zoomed herself in and I had my mouth open slightly.
"And I say you're a bitch in the best way - I'm just over you being insecure about you and boys...don't be Nini, bitch" she added and I gasped before laughing with her.
"Okay you got me there we're out here tryna have a Nini level story arc" I replied through laughs. As it died down I just sighed slowly and we both smiled to each other.
"Oh - also heads up your ball gown came to the house...gotta start organizing that shit when you get back" Blaire spoke up. She was just going to my house everyday at this point regardless if I was there or not - but again everyone considers her family.
"Shit I can't even begin to think of the ball, Josh and I were supposed to go together and shit - "
"Oh my god he would be such a good Eugene Fitzherbert are you fucking kidding, the world needs this!" she interjected as excitement took over her. I shook my head as I laughed but I just tried to cover how much us going started freaking me out again.
"Yeah he mentioned he's already found an inspired suit so," I said with a forced smile and she sighed gently.
"Just, talk to him okay?" she asked me and I looked away before nodding back.
"Well, I gotta get to class so - fuck off so you can be back here, your Mother Dearest is making nachos" she added with a cheeky grin and I returned it.
"It's literally my recipe she better not fuck it up" I replied.
"I forget who the Mom is between you two at times, Jesus" she replied and I chuckled again. We said out final goodbyes before I chucked the phone beside me. But after a few moments, I started gazing at it.
Don't do it Addie. Don't give in. Ignore it.
I was not trained to ignore hate like a celebrity gets taught from day one of stardom. I was another teenager who did care what people thought of them on social media. That's why we all post about ourselves and compare each other to a certain degree.
But this was way bigger - people who had no idea who I was were talking about me like I was worth speaking about...except in the worst ways. But it was a car crash - I hated looking at it, but I couldn't not look.
And once I started looking, I couldn't look away. The threads on my old tweets were exploding.
╭─────────────────╮
Addie Phillips @outtalinephillips
i put this on my insta story but i feel like the #hsmtmts fandom here would like it lol
🗨 5.4k ↻ 3.2k ♡ 48k
View all 5,496 comments
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username THIS IS PROOF SHE'S JUST USING HIM FOR CLOUT #clouttalinephillips #joshssecretgirl
↳ @username IKR HOW CAN JOSH NOT SEE THAT HE'S AN IDIOT AT THIS POINT
↳ @username HE PROBS LIKES HER COZ SHE KISSES HIS ASS ALL DAY WHO KNEW HE HAD THIS MUCH OF AN EGO
↳ @username ikr one scandal after the other I knew he was too good to be true
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username LMAO 'THE FANDOM HERE WOULD LIKE IT' LOL NO WE WANT U OUT OF IT #shesouttaline
↳ gorgeousgrier speak for urself. and u don't even know her
↳ @username oh and u do? i said what i said and ppl agree w me so i'm speaking up
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username does she not see how bad this looks #addiephillipsisoverparty
↳ @username she's basically a fanpage and now she's dating him wtf is this
↳ phanosaur1987 this 'over party' hashtag makes no sense?? this aint a fucking scandal y'all are so toxic
↳ @username i didn't invent the hashtag mother theresa get over urself
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username who tf does she think she is @joshuatbassett is meant to be w @olivia_rodrigo #justiceforjolivia #addiephillipsisoverparty
↳ -notkendall omfg don't @ them wtf is wrong with you why literally bring them into this
↳ @username I can @ them if I want to I want them to see it hah
↳ ilovemyjohnny STOP SHIPPING THEM THEY ARE NOT RINI I HATE THIS
↳@username UR JUST JEALOUS UR NOT HER
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username I used to follow her coz she posted funny shit but now she somehow roped josh in and it doesn't sit right w me #joshssecretgirl #addiephillipsisoverparty
↳ j.baskeyfield how does that not sit right w u?? u can't stop supporting her just coz she knows someone u wish u knew
↳ @username it just does. who even are u lol why are u defending her when u don't seem like a hsmtmts fan
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username how desperate josh gotta be to go for a fan tho - she's not even that cute #addiephillipsisoverparty #shesouttaline
↳ @username lol exactly josh could do so much better ive lost respect
↳ teamsuperllama the jealousy on this bus is astronomical
↳ @username fuck off no one asked you
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username SHE'S NOT OLIVIA I BET SHE'S SO MAD #justiceforjolivia #shesouttaline
↳ diisturbia TOP SHIPPING JOLIVIA IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING AT THIS POINT
↳ @username JESUS WHY U SO PRESSED IT'S MY OPINION - AND TELL THAT TO ALL FOLLOWERS WHO AGREE W ME
↳ Zerolemons YOU GUYS ARE SO TOXIC
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username @olivia_rodrigo TELL HER TO FUCK OFF OR IM SO DONE W THIS FANDOM #addiephillipsisoverparty @joshuatbassett i'm talking to u or im unfollowing
↳ -natalieee ur really gonna stop being his fan over this....he can date whoever he wants why does he get the worst treatment out of the whole cast?!!!
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username I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAD TO SEE THEM KISS FUCKING EW. SHE'S SO UGLY AND SHE REALLY THINKS SHE CAN DATE JOSHUA FUCKING BASSETT IT'S ALMOST HILARIOUS @joshuatbassett #addiephillipsisoverparty
↳ jojobassett LOL U REALLY THINK UR OPINION MATTERS?? THEY'RE ALREADY DATING SO KEEP LAUGHING
↳ @username YOU GUYS ARE JUST THE BRAINWASHED FANS WHO STANNED HIM EVEN WHEN HE DID ALL THAT BAD SHIT. YES I WILL LAUGH
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username this bitch met him at the grocery store and pretended she didn't know him which is why they're dating she's been lying to him #clouttalinephillips #joshssecretgirl
↳ @username SHITTT THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE, THAT TWO FACED BITCH
↳ @username loll someone tell @joshuatbassett how stupid is he wtf
↳ Jamiegallo023 WHERE'S UR FUCKING PROOF??
↳ @username bitch stop yelling it's what I heard
↳ lildanyul i hate it here wtf happened to this fandom
╰─────────────────╯
I couldn't do it anymore.
This was tearing the fandom apart, a fandom I thought I was proud to be in. We were tearing them apart; all I saw was hate between previous supporters of each other....of him.
My breath was shaking as I read the last reply.
"I happened to it." I whispered to myself, I blinked continuously after I felt a tear go down my cheek.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
--- notes ---
i know this is fiction but don't think that last part was just a part of my imagination, that part of the fandom exists and it saddens me everyday.
just a psa - if u are one of them can we just have a little chat in my dms like-
anyway that was super intense but i hope u enjoyed it???