The next morning came. The reality of the situation sunk in as Ariana lay in bed. Her arm draped over her face as tears roll down the side of her temples. He was leaving her and Ariana couldn't believe this. Her heart ached, being torn into a million pieces. She wanted to scream, shout, and curse Murphy out for not letting her know.
There wasn't even much time to heal or to think this over. Murphy Macmanus made his decision without uttering a single word her way. And as the sun slowly peek above Boston's buildings, the thought of never saying goodbye made this feeling worse.
She couldn't sleep the night before nor could she eat. Nothing would stay down and no one could snap her out of this feeling of dread. Murphy leaving so suddenly just didn't make much sense to Ariana. No matter how many ways she looked at the situation. Every angle made no sense.
Letting out a shaky sigh, her arm slid away from her face. Allowing her teary eyes to gaze at the ceiling. With her mouth slightly open, she breathes out. Retracing the night.
Ariana made it home with the help of Irene. The redhead made sure the rather emotional woman could make it up the spiral stairs, and safely into her studio without much trouble. Irene went as far as to treat Ariana as if she were her child.
"You didn't tell him?" Irene spoke after giving Ariana a small cup of green tea.
Ariana looked up from her tea, gripping the mug with both her hands. She sat on the small sofa with a plush pale green blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyes were puffy and her lips were damp. Irene sat down beside Ariana, unable to leave until she knew her friend was ok.
"What?" Ariana sniffled, furrowing her brows.
"You know what. You didn't tell him about the baby. You could have let him know, maybe he would have changed his mind."
Ariana lowered her eyes, crossing her legs underneath her body weight. She could have told him her truth, but at that moment, Murphy made it clear; He had already made their decision without her. There wasn't going to be any planning between the two. No talk about how they wanted to handle the pregnancy and the delivery of a baby. No reaction. Nothing. There wasn't going to be a happy ending.
"How did you figure it out?" Ariana spoke softly. She took a sip of her tea, blinking away a few tears.
"Remember, I have a daughter. Been there, done that. Noticed that confused look on your face. That attitude I've never seen you have before. The constant calling out due to some stupid sickness. I saw it from a mile away. That's why I decided to become a friend. Not just your bossy supervisor," Irene took out a small box of cigarettes from out of her coat pocket, slapping the bottom end of the package against her palm. "You should have told him."
Ariana shook her head, fluttering her eyes shut. There was no point in telling Murphy the truth.
"No. He made his decision and I've made mine, " Ariana suddenly says, looking down at the green liquid inside of her cup.
Irene had a bad feeling about this. The way Ariana spoke while announcing she too made her decision on the matter. But at the end of the day, there wasn't anything she could say or do to change Ariana's mind. Instead of resorting to a speech, Irene simply lights the end of her cigarette.
"What a day...."
That was right. Ariana made her choice while sitting there beside Irene. She contemplated the endless possibilities of her future. Raising a baby alone wasn't what Ariana wanted. The thought frightened her. She made the decision on her own and there was no changing her mind.
Pulling the duvet from off of her frail body, Ariana threw her legs to the side of the bed. She rubs the tiredness from out of her eyes, unable to see through the blurry tears. If she would have known things would have ended in such a painful way, Ariana would have kept her distance from Murphy.
She would have ignored his flirtatious innuendos. She would have kept her gaze forward, putting all her energy on another man who wouldn't do such a thing. Yet still, as she sat on the edge of her bed, Ariana knew she would have never been in love with anyone else if they hadn't met. Life could have been meaningless.
A knock on the door pulls Ariana from out of her thoughts. With a long sigh, Ariana drug her feet towards the front door of her studio apartment. Without looking through the peephole, Ariana twists the doorknob lazily, revealing a sad smiling Irene and Ashlee. Ashlee Hall held a small plate of home-baked brownies. The kind of brownies that could knock you off your ass.
Ariana gripped the edge of the door, scratching her messy bed head.
"How are you doing, Ari?" Ashlee asked behind the plate.
Without a word, Ariana took the plate from out of Ashlee's hands. With an awkward expression, Ashlee watched her best friend pull back the transparent wrap off the plate, downing two brownies without blinking. Irene moves past Ashlee guiding a heartbroken Ariana to the couch.
As much as she wanted to scold Ariana for consuming unethical nutrition, Irene realized that no longer mattered. Not if what Ariana told her the night before will become true. Irene sat Ariana down onto the soft sofa, pulling the green blanket out of the way so she and Ashlee could sit beside their friend.
"So, " Ariana grunted between bites. "Why did you show up here with these?"
Ashlee shifted awkwardly, rubbing her arm as her blue eyes fell onto the plate. Connor mentioned what happened. He was just as angry but wasn't sure how to handle the situation. At the end of the day, Connor made the mistake to not mention their move to Ariana before. He assumed Murphy talked with her a long time ago.
"I -" Ashlee began, "I dropped the boys off at the airport about an hour ago."
Ariana took a break from chewing, lowering the half eaten brownie from her lips. Her eyes fell onto a very shy Ashlee who scrum underneath Ariana's glare.
"You knew?" Ariana spat.
"Connor told me a few days ago. He -"
Ariana shoved the plate into Irene's arms who wrinkled her nose at Ashlee. A big mistake to tell a heartbroken pregnant woman her best friend knew before she did. Irene saw the anger in Ariana's iris'. The pure hatred for any man or woman who dared not to speak up. Perhaps Ashlee was ignorant of the knowledge of Ariana being unaware, but the question still remained. Why didn't Ashlee or anyone at that matter warn Ariana?
"You knew and didn't fucking tell me?" Ariana spat, gripping the edge of the cushioned couch.
"I didn't know until a few days ago. Connor came to me and well, I just assumed you already knew. Irene just informed me you didn't thirty minutes ago and now, I feel terrible." Ashlee hides her face underneath her dainty hands. She couldn't imagine what Ariana was going through. Ashlee might have feelings for Connor and in some ways, it hurts her too, but Murphy and Ariana were the it couple. Everyone always assumed they would get married and grow old together. Not end in such a sour note.
Ariana stood to her feet, pacing back and forth.
"I'm sorry -" Before Ashlee could go on a ramble about how sympathetic she is, Ariana raised her hand to stop her.
"Save it. I don't want to hear it." Ariana grumbled. Her pacing continued for a few more minutes before the actuality of Murphy being gone hits her like a truck. Every second she spent with him was sinking deep into an ocean of memories. To be forgotten eventually. Tears formed at the brim as Ariana covered her mouth to cease any sobs.
Why would he just leave like this? Why did he decide to leave her behind without any true goodbyes? Was she not worth it or did he just show her false love to fill his empty heart?
Ariana breathes in, gripping the edges of her long white shirt. The same shirt that once belonged to Murphy.
"I don't want to talk about him anymore. I hate him! I hate him so much." Ariana cried out, shaking her head. "I don't want to think about him or see him. I want him gone."
"But the baby, " Ashlee says after Ariana's short rant. Irene slapped the younger girl on the arm with the back of her hand. Irene told Ashlee of Ariana's pregnancy in a resort to get all the harsh information out of her head. Not to give Ashlee permission to blurt out about the elephant in the room.
Ariana flicks her eyes down towards her feet. Her fingers touch the outline of her stomach through her shirt. Thinking of what will take place in a matter of a few days.
"I'm not keeping it, Ash. I'm getting an abortion, " Ariana simply says before starting for the bathroom.
Ashlee, in shock, stood to her feet. Her wide eyes fell in between Irene and Ariana. Following behind her best friend since high school, Ashlee reached out for Ariana's shoulder but stops herself. Knowing what will happen if she continued.
"You can't do that!" Ashlee cries out once Ariana reached the doorway leading into the small bathroom.
Ariana spun around, gripping the bathroom's doorknob tightly. Her brows were narrow and her lips were tight with anger. Of course, Ashlee would disagree. The blonde had the sense to never harm any living being, even if the living being wasn't fully developed. She was good like that. Wanting everything and everyone to have a chance.
Nonetheless, her political views no longer mattered at this moment in time. Ariana didn't want to hear any of it. Her choice was made and that's what her focus was going to be.
"You know I can't take care of a baby on my own, not like this," Ariana whispered, turning her eyes onto Irene who took a cigarette from out of her purse. Placing her gaze back onto her friend, Ariana swallowed, "You know what my family is and you know what I used to be. A baby with a mother like me, all alone without its father is dangerous."
Unable to swallow, Ashlee searched the wooden frame of the door for some kind of answers. She knew very well what Ariana meant. They shared similar backgrounds and the thought of raising a child while the dangers were still out there never fully crossed her mind. Many years have passed but they knew deep down the possibilities of raising a family could hurt in the long run. Still, Ashlee's heart is torn.
"Did you tell him?" Ashlee finally questioned lowly. "About the baby I mean."
Ariana relaxed her shoulders, looking down at Ashlee's collar bone hidden underneath the strap of Ashlee's tank top.
"No, " Ariana says before slamming the door shut.
Running water splashes against the inside of the cheap metal sink. With shaky hands, Ariana arched her palms to catch a small puddle within the middle. In a rush, she rippled the cold water into her face. In hopes that it will ease her mind and stop her from feeling so exhausted.
He's gone and there is nothing she could do about it. And while she leaned herself against the sink, feeling the urge to throw up the brownies, Ariana finally allows her tears to fall. The love of her life is gone.
♡♡♡
I apologize for any mistakes.
I'm exhausted and going through some things but I need to write to make myself feel better.
So, yeah I'm sorry for any errors.
Love you guys.