17.
Lucian and I sat in strained silence as the car drove off.
Both dressed in finery, we were ready to go to a New Year's Eve party, but our mood was hardly in the cheerful spirit. Hell, I don't remember a time Lucian and I were ever in good spirits for a prolonged amount of time. Things always turned out like this.
"We obviously have some trust issues." I stared at the divider between the front and back of the car. Next to me, Lucian was doing a good job trying not to sulk, but I could easily see past his front. He was definitely sulking. "For some strange reason, I believed you when you said there were men after me in California."
Lucian didn't respond.
Like me, he kept his attention straight ahead, a stubborn tick to his jaw.
I turned to look at him, angry.
"Damn it, Lucian. Treat me with a bit of respect." He slowly turned his eyes on me, unimpressed with my outburst. "I may not be in the line of business you are and I may not know a damn thing about it, but I'm not stupid. I feel like a sheep and you're my shepherd."
"A sheep? A shepherd?" Lucian murmured, amused.
Frowning, I didn't see how any of this was funny. "Whatever you want from me, I seem to do it whether subconsciously or not. You manipulate—"
"I don't manipulate you."
"Bullshit!" I hissed. "There must have been a reason why you told me there were men after me. Why?" Before he could answer, I answered for him. "You did it to deliberately scare me. You thought I would rather hide away at the Romano manor for protection than live my own life. Are you really that selfish, Lucian?"
He stared at me and his eyes—as well as the rest of his expression—turned hard and unreadable. The underboss then turned away from me to stare out the window.
I sat there, dumbstruck.
Lucian had completely closed himself off from this discussion.
"Fine," I started airily, "we can have the superficial relationship you're obviously looking for. We can fuck each other at night and then go to nice, flashy gatherings during the day. Who the hell cares about feelings and compromise? Trust is overrated anyway. And here I believed you when you said I was different from your other lovers. I never imagined that would be a lie as well."
He snapped his neck around and his fist descended toward me. I watched as it closed in, taken aback that he would actually hit me.
However, the fist flew past my cheek and slammed against the seat next to my head.
"Shut up," he whispered threateningly. "You know that's not true." His face loomed closer to mine so we were only inches apart. "You don't understand," he suddenly said, losing his temper and replacing it with hopelessness.
My own temper doused. I knew why Lucian had lied to me but that didn't mean it made things alright. Nevertheless, I pitied him and I knew we had to work through this together. He needed to admit why he lied and he needed to hear reassurances.
"What don't I understand?" I pressed quietly.
Lucian leaned away again, settling into his corner of the backseat.
"You know," I started coolly, "I always see you as resilient and capable of accomplishing anything. Sometimes it's intimidating to be with someone like that. You never show vulnerability. You once told me that you felt as if you could be yourself around me. So why don't you trust me to open up?"
Lucian shrugged his shoulders with fierce frustration. "What do you want me to say, Afton?" he spoke lowly to the window. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I didn't want to lose you."
"Is that why you told me men were after me? Because you didn't want me to leave the protection you offered?" I pushed, trying to keep my voice neutral.
Onyx eyes rotated around to look at me. "I'm new to this... this kind of relationship," he admitted icily. "I actually feel desperate around you. I feel as if I don't have any control over us, over this situation, so I lied in order to reestablish some control. In order to keep you."
"You're not supposed to have control over a relationship, Lucian. It's an equal partnership." I sighed. "I can't believe you thought you had to make up a lie for me to stay with you. Did you ever wonder I would stay with you because I actually like being with you?"
Lucian shook his head resentfully.
"You left for California, intent to break up whatever fucked-up relationship we had." He leveled me with a challenging stare. "I admitted that I'm scared to lose you. Will you return the favor and tell me you're committed to us? Or are you stringing me along as an experiment?"
My neck turned hot at the assertion. It was partly true. And I hated hearing it.
"It's not that easy..."
"Of course it's easy," Lucian interrupted firmly, leaning closer to me. "Are you going to commit to us or are you going to continue to walk away whenever the doubts outweigh the good? I feel as if we can't truly start this relationship without both being committed."
He was waiting for an answer, but I refused to give him one that wasn't honest. It was a question I have been asking myself repeatedly. Did I want to be with Lucian? It wasn't fair to him that I kept going back and forth with my decision.
"It's not that easy," I repeated.
Lucian leaned away with almost a wounded expression.
I turned towards him and reached out to clutch the end of his sleeve. Tugging him forward, I made sure I had his attention. "You know who you are," I started fiercely, "you know what you want in life. I'm still trying to find out who I am and what I want. Honestly, yes, I am committed to you. But I don't know if I'm able to commit to your way of life."
"If I quit the mafia..." Lucian began slowly, deliberately, "would it make your decision easier?"
The discussion was beginning to turn down a heavy, uncomfortable path.
Was he serious?
Why would he part ways with what he's known his entire life? Just for me? If he did, would I be able to make him happy enough? And what if I realized I didn't want to spend my life with Lucian? I would have made him leave his family and his life for just a few weeks of illusioned paradise.
No, it was too soon to answer Lucian's question.
I reached over and curled my hand around his. I stared at the divider in front of me, noticing we were close to the Romano manor. "Just don't lie to me again, Lucian."
When I didn't answer his question, he made a sound of protest, but then fell into a heavy silence. It was if he were also thinking of the potential consequences of quitting the mafia and the uncertainties that followed. It was far too much of a commitment from either of us just yet.
He reached over and cradled my opposite cheek in his palm. With measured slowness, he leaned forward and pressed his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling. His lips then trailed up my throat and brushed softly across my cheekbone before nuzzling my hair.
The action was surprisingly gentle and tender and I found myself relaxing in his hold.
Lucian pressed a deep kiss at my temple. "There is... something I'd like to ask you."
My face was buried in his neck and chest. Inhaling, I could smell his cologne and the lingering scent of cigarettes. "Ask away," I murmured, wishing we could stay like this and not attend the party.
"I purchased a house," Lucian announced with a hint of pride. "I haven't told anyone yet. It's located in Florida. If you decide to go back to California for next semester, you still have a few weeks left of winter term. I'd like it if just the two of us could go to the house for a few days."
"Florida?" I murmured into his neck. "I thought you loved Italy?"
He chuckled. "I do love Italy, but I wouldn't be able to get away from things as easily as I could in Florida." His arms wrapped around my body, bringing me closer against his chest. "You're not good at changing the subject, Afton. Will you come with me?"
I smiled. "You haven't promised me that you wouldn't lie to me again."
The sudden exhalation from Lucian ruffled a few pieces of my hair. I knew he hated being put on the spot like this, for being reprimanded, but I wanted him to know I took honesty and truth seriously. We had a lot of things to straighten out, but at least we were able to conquer one today.
"I will try my hardest not to lie, but if it's to protect you, I won't have any qualms about feeding you a white lie or two." One of his hands slid inside my suit pocket and pulled out Paul Delve's business card. "And you'll return the favor?" He traced the edge of the card possessively against my cheekbone.
His promise wasn't particularly reassuring. Lucian sometimes had a perverse sense of thinking and it always seemed to have destructive consequences. But I also knew that his answer would be the only reassurance I would get. For now.
It made me wonder if there was anything else he was lying about. The whole mafia business was full of deceit and lies. It would be unsurprising if that carried over into our relationship.
As I thought about the potential occurrences of future lies, I suddenly realized I dwelled a lot on what could happen in the future instead of living in the moment. Lucian could lie to me again, but I couldn't mope around now because of what may happen.
"No, I won't lie to you." I smiled softly under Lucian's sharp observation. "Unless it's to protect you."
Lucian broke out into a pleased smirk. "There you go, you're learning." He removed the business card from my face and considered it briefly.
"You know, I may have lied about men following you to California, but I'm still serious about potential threats. There are four Families under our control, but that could change instantly." Dark eyes caught my gaze. "I will not give you a false sense of security and say that you will never be targeted."
I understood his reasoning.
Families—like the Gallo Family—could turn on the Romano Family instantly.
Surprisingly, Lucian placed Delve's business card back into my suit coat instead of ripping it or throwing it away like I thought he would have. I looked back up at him, noticing the tightness around his mouth as he patted the card.
"While you may be targeted by potential enemies," Lucian began, his voice thick, "it doesn't mean I would expect you to stay with me just for protection. If you ever need to leave me, I would make sure you are still protected. Some may think I'm cruel, but I love you and I find it hard to imagine hating you so much as to leave you unprotected."
My stomach dropped before it became weightless.
The 'confession' came to Lucian's lips without any hesitation, without any indication that it was untrue. His eyes were sincere, as was his tone. His statement about letting me go was surprisingly selfless and reassuring.
And he... he loved me.
I stared at him, frozen.
The idea seemed ludicrous. Love. Already. I was still struggling to accept we were even in a relationship, and here was Lucian, declaring his affection. It made me realize that he was confident about us. It made me realize that he did not experience the same hesitations that I experienced.
The same bigotry and reluctances of dating another man.
He'd moved on from all that long ago and had used our time together to appreciate me, to appreciate us. It made me realize that I constantly worried about outside factors, that I always tried to see Lucian's negatives and failed to see the genuine good we shared.
I frowned, guilty. "I—"
He leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine to silence me. "Don't say it back. You don't mean it."
My cheeks turned red when I realized he thought I was going to tell him that I loved him. I wasn't ready for that... not yet. But I was ready to really start committing myself to this.
I flashed him a cocky grin. "I was going to say that it means a lot that you're honest with me." We came to a jerky stop in front of Lucian's manor. "And I was also going to say that I'd love to come with you to Florida. When are we leaving?"
There was still the issue with my father.
Delve said there was a past conflict between the Conti family and the Romano family. I didn't know what he meant by that, and why my father was being an absolute idiot about wanting to take down the Romanos. Was he insane? Bringing down the Romano Family organization by himself and a lone detective would simply get him killed.
I hoped my father could be talked out of whatever he was planning.
And then I suddenly realized... what if my brother was involved as well?
I was startled as Lucian took my face and kissed me. He pulled back, eyeing me suspiciously at my limp return. "I was planning on leaving tomorrow night," he said slowly. "I already purchased our tickets, in case you decided to say yes. We'll only be gone for three days. It gives you enough time after to spend with your family before... you head back to California."
"I wouldn't be surprised if you had purchased those tickets months in advance."
I looked beyond his shoulder and through the tinted window of the car. My courage turned cold and weak as I saw the number of cars inside the gated property. The front of the Romano house looked more like a parking lot than a looped driveway.
"You said there was only going to be a few people here," I muttered, my tongue heavy.
Lucian glanced over his shoulder at the cars and the bodyguards that were standing watch over the exterior. "I said my mother was making a dinner for my father's closest employees." He grinned. "My father tends to have a lot of close friends."
"I don't know how that is possible," I grumbled skeptically, my hate for Gabriele Romano evident.
While I was accustomed to large parties of the high society, I still didn't like them. Then again, the sheer number of guests meant is was unlikely I would have to interact with Gabriele. That would be the only positive to the night's events.
"Afton." Lucian's hands curled possessively around my tie. He began to straighten it and smooth the wrinkles. "Be respectful," he reminded. "There are a few Dons in attendance tonight. While they directly report to my father, they are still watching and evaluating. Try to appear... likeable."
"Likeable," I repeated, nudging him away. "When am I not likeable?"
Bypassing his hands and amused chuckle, I opened the door to the car and stepped out in the cold December night. If I inhaled deep enough, I could smell the overwhelming stink of corrupt power. This was a breeding ground for chaos. If there were bosses of other families here tonight, all gathered in one place, wouldn't there be trouble that followed?
Then again, if the Romano's ran the entirety of the New Jersey area, who would be stupid enough to attack Gabriele's home when he had his allies with him?
The Gallo Family, for one.
"You're tense. Relax." He walked alongside me, placing a steady hand on my shoulder. "Everything will be alright. We have full security tonight."
I stared at the manor as we walked up the snow-shoveled sidewalk. The windows were large and the bright lights permitted outsiders to see inside. There were a lot of men in suits and a few women were intermingled, all dressed and glamourized. The guests were socializing and sipping from long-stemmed glasses. Others were sitting and eating the piles of food from the side tables.
"Is Tony going to be here?" I wondered. "Or my brother?"
Tony. Hell. I needed to see him.
Lucian steered me into the house after a sharp nod to the mammoth-like man standing guard. "No," he responded tightly. "This gathering is exclusive to high-end employers. If your brother is here, he's standing guard outside." He didn't even mention Tony.
As I stepped fully into the manor, and into the crowd of guests, my thoughts on Tony and Nick were soon forgotten. With a polite, albeit blank expression, I watched many men and women nod and respectfully greet Lucian. No wonder why Lucian was so attracted to me. I never treated him like this. The amount of sappy cordial greetings were already making me sick.
The guests treated Lucian as if he were the fucking god of Olympus.
And Lucian wasn't any better as he superciliously replied to them. He had a domineering hand on my shoulder, the same hand that had his Romano Family ring on his pinkie. I don't know if that was intentional, but it would be unsurprising for Lucian to brand me in front of his guests.
What the fuck? Was there anyone sane at this party?
Would I have to kiss cheeks with the Dons and pretend I actually wanted to be here? There was no way in hell Lucian would be lugging me around all night. The company Lucian kept was twice as bad as he was, and that was saying something.
"Don't you look handsome?" Contessa glided over. Her heels clicked against the floor and her fitting black dress hugged her curvy figure. She completely bypassed Lucian and came to me. Much to my horror, she hugged me, easily tearing Lucian's hold from my shoulder.
She then tampered with my tie, altering whatever Lucian had done in the car.
"Thank you, Mrs. Romano. You look very beautiful tonight," I complimented honestly, smitten. I decided not to add she always looked beautiful, whether or not she was dressed in finery.
"Please, don't hit on my mother," Lucian murmured into my ear. "It's wrong on so many levels."
"Luciano," Contessa scolded, having heard her eldest son clearly. "At least Afton has enough courtesy to compliment me, whereas my son is poorly lacking manners." She huffed, pushing a hand through her long hair. The chocolate waves tumbled past her shoulders and cascaded down her back in perfect ringlets. "What happened to your nose, Afton?"
She made a fuss as she rubbed the pad of her thumb near the bridge of my nose.
I hissed softly as she pressed against the bruise Tony had given me earlier. I hadn't thought it was that noticeable, but Contessa saw it clearly enough to comment on it. I chuckled when she turned a severe look on Lucian, obviously thinking the worse.
"It's just a light bruise from a friend, Mrs. Romano."
"Call me Contessa, Afton. Please." Her eyes softened as she turned back to look at me. "Why don't I bring you over to the feast and show you some true Italian cuisine? Luciano can greet his father and the other Dons. We don't want to bore you unnecessarily with their business."
She took my arm and led me away from a displeased and protesting Lucian.
I didn't get a chance to wave him off before Contessa turned abruptly, bringing me to the table full of mouth-watering food. Really, the sight of the food was enough reason to stay in the main gathering area of the party.
"Luciano can be a bit overconfident," Contessa said quietly as she began filling a plate full of various foods. "His father is displeased with him for going after the Gallo brothers this past week. The other Dons aren't impressed either. It would be best if Luciano didn't introduce you just yet."
"I didn't ask him to go after the Gallo Family," I told her quietly, aware of any prying ears. "I don't know why he did it the first place..."
She pushed the plate of food into my hands and ushered me over to a quiet corner. Thankful, I sat next to her, watching the occupants of the party as they mingled and socialized. Across from me, in a closed off lounge-like room, I could see five men gathered around a coffee table. Lucian was standing before them, his shoulders carrying tension.
Before I could study the men in detail, Contessa brought me back to the conversation at hand.
"I think you know why he did it, Afton."
I glanced at her expectant face before looking down at my plate of assembled foods. It all looked wonderful, but I suddenly lost my appetite. "Yeah, well, it doesn't make me feel any better knowing I'm the reason someone lost a brother."
Her face creased with worry. "Luciano rarely forms attachments. And when he does, he will do anything in his power to keep them, to protect them. I've only ever seen him attached to his family. It came to a surprise how quickly he was able to form an attachment with you."
Contessa made is sound as if Lucian's quick infatuation was unhealthy and obsessive.
While it might not be the healthiest relationship, I believed Lucian found a connection with me and recognized he wanted to keep it.
Desperately.
"I told you it wasn't too late to walk away," Contessa said in a subdued tone. "I'm trying to protect you, Afton, but I also need to protect my son." She placed a hand on my knee. "He's already attached, but if you walk now, the damage won't be so bad. I'm only begging you not to lead him to the point where he can't pick himself up after you leave."
Her words were understandable.
It was becoming increasingly evident that Lucian had a crippling weakness.
He did not handle emotional attachments well.
"I understand what you're saying," I began carefully, "but if Lucian ever does something I find unforgiveable, I will not stay with him just because I fear what our separation may do to him."
Contessa shook her head. "Luciano can do stupid things when he's not thinking of the consequences. I don't expect you to stay if he ever did anything you find unforgivable, Afton. What I'm asking is that you don't pull him along and then leave because you can't handle his line of business. If you can't accept that Luciano is in the mafia, then you should consider parting with him now."
She was right.
I couldn't use Lucian's line of business as an excuse for not committing to him fully. If I couldn't accept that Lucian was an underboss, then why the hell was I sticking around?
Lucian had called it 'experimenting' in the car.
And I didn't want to use Lucian like that.
Contessa laid a gentle hand on my cheek and turned my stare on to hers. "Gabriele was raised by a cold father and an absent mother. I was the one who raised Luciano. Do you truly believe I would raise a cold-blooded killer? Luciano only kills if the situation requires it. As far as I'm concerned, the Gallo brother was his first unnecessary kill and that was out of desperation."
She leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
"You are perfect for him," she breathed. "I couldn't ask for a better partner for my son. I hope you'll soon realize that Luciano is a man whose love is unconditional. He will treasure you, adore you."
As she stood up, I found I felt both heavier and lighter at the same time.
Her persistence that I not leave Lucian because of his work was plausible. If I wanted to continue to be with Lucian, then I had to accept he was an underboss. But if things ever got out of hand—if he ever became like his father—I knew that I would need to do what was best for me.
"Unfortunately, I need to get back to hosting." Contessa reached over and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm sure Luciano will be with you shortly."
I could only nod.
As soon as she was out of sight, I placed the plate of food on the table across from me and stood up. I wasn't hungry anymore and I didn't want to hide in the corner and wait until Lucian came to get me. If there was one thing my upbringing taught me, it was to successfully mingle and strike up conversation.
Grabbing a glass of champagne, I turned to survey the room of men and women.
My attention may have drifted across the room, but my mind was still dwelling over my conversation with Contessa as well as my earlier conversation with Lucian. As I contemplated leaving him, I suddenly felt a deep pang in my stomach.
How could I walk?
In California, for over half a year, I had always thought about him. I had even looked for him on campus. When I had come back for winter break, I had been instantly overwhelmed with his presence, as if I had never left. There was no doubt that I had deep feelings for him.
"I finally get to see Lucian's new... lover."
Glancing at the man approaching, I felt my blood turn cold before it began to burn with immediate dislike. I knew this had to be one of Lucian's past encounters. It was hard to label him as Lucian's 'ex-lover' simply because Lucian had admitted that he had never been lovers with anyone from his past.
They were all for... carnal pleasure.
He was handsome, but he wasn't overwhelmingly drool-worthy like I would have thought. He was just a pound or two overweight, carrying it in his round face and thick neck. His shoulders were broad but he was of average build and height. It didn't come to a surprise that he had thick black hair and dark eyes.
"I knew you must be his. Even in front of the Dons he still can't stop looking at you as if you're his Adonis. It's pathetically sappy for an underboss to the Romano Family." His voice was full of scorn, distaste, and a sliver of envy.
I blinked at him indifferently, sipping at the bubbly champagne before turning my shoulder on him. When I envisioned mingling at Lucian's party, I hadn't imagined confronting one of his exes.
Across the room, Lucian was still in the presence of the Dons, but he had since taken residence in a chair. His legs were crossed, a defense mechanism I knew, and his hands were curled into claws on the armrests. His dark gaze slashed through the bodies in front of him and focused sinisterly on the tall man at my back.
I'd seen Lucian displeased before, but he looked downright foul right now.
My heart skipped a beat out of vicious enjoyment.
He looked attractive.
A hand curled on my left shoulder, forcibly turning me around. I withheld my reaction as pain roped across my shoulder and chest. The gunshot wound had healed relatively well, but the altercation with Tony this morning had ripped two of the stitches. The small abrasion had obviously clotted shut since this morning, but I felt it rip open again.
My eyes flashed darkly at him and I noticed the angry glint in his eyes. He was extremely jealous, perhaps even resentful as he took in my expressionless face.
"So, you're not as naïve as you look, just far more arrogant than I thought," he observed.
"I apologize," I murmured unsympathetically, "I hadn't realized you were speaking to me."
He scoffed harshly, a deep frown on his face. "Just stand there, kid. You're serving your purpose well."
My eyes narrowed. "And what would that purpose be?"
"He's finally looking away from you and watching me."
He didn't look in the direction of Lucian, but he did stand proudly, glorifying under Lucian's gaze. His eyes then swept the length of my body before settling on my face obsessively. There was a new, considering light in his eyes and his resentfulness seemed to soften into appreciativeness.
"You are rather pretty, but you lack the masculinity I prefer and what I had believed Lucian preferred."
My dislike for this man increased substantially as he cut down my masculinity. I was a fucking man. I was not pretty. I had a dick and I had masculine features. What the fuck was he talking about? "If you preen under the prospect of getting attention from him," here I jabbed a thumb in Lucian's direction, "then you obviously lack your own set of balls."
Confusion and disbelief crossed the man's features. It was evident that the majority of Lucian's exes had all worshipped him.
A chuckle floated near me. "I seem to like you more and more, Conti."
Turning away from the man in front of me, I observed Lucian's younger brother as he came to a stop next to me. He pressed his shoulder against my unwounded one in a gesture of comradeship. I immediately noticed he chose to forgo a tie with his suit.
I was instantly envious of him.
Lucian had insisted I wear one and I had bowed under the instruction.
"Conti?" Lucian's ex examined me. "So you are Italian."
"He's more Italian than your mutt line," Blaise shot back. "Why don't you run along now and find another prey, De Luca? This one is already claimed by the Romano Family."
"The family? You mean you're involved in a threesome?" De Luca gave an oily smile as he appraised me. "I hadn't imagined Lucian would share his lovers so easily, especially with his little brother. Perhaps I could also take you for a test drive?"
Blaise growled but I merely stared De Luca down, unimpressed. The man was putting up an act, intentionally feigning ignorance to what Blaise had truly meant.
De Luca suddenly reached out and grabbed me by the chin. He leaned closer, his breath smelling like fat cigars. "When Lucian drops you like he does all the others, feel free to come to me." His thumb traced alongside my bottom lip. "I have a feeling I could get used to seeing you every day, mon petit."
Did he think I would be impressed by his French? Did he think I would be flattered at his obvious attraction? The man was an idiot and I wondered what attracted Lucian to him in the first place. Then again, I really, really didn't want to know.
"Then we have a problem, mon chéri," I said sweetly. Reaching out, I curled my fingers around the hand and the wrist that held my jaw captive. "Because I certainly wouldn't want to smell you every day, your breath especially."
Blaise suddenly stepped in front of me, breaking the physical contact between De Luca and me. The man laughed, offering me one last lingering, appreciative stare before leaving.
"I'm sure he got what he wanted." Blaise turned to me. "Lucian will be after his hide after that little act."
"So he was Lucian's ex-lover."
He laughed breathlessly. "I guess you could call it that. Alexander De Luca is the adoptive son of one of the Dons. He and Lucian had a fling a few years back. Be careful around him, alright? He may appear like an idiot, but he has power if Lucian isn't around." Blaise grinned at me. "Lucian has his work cut out with you."
I raised my eyebrows. "You seem oddly interested in Lucian's love life," I commented dryly.
He offered a look of disdain. "I've only met two of his... buddies. You and De Luca. You're too good for Lucian, and too young for his bullshit."
Blaise turned and grabbed a bottle of beer from the bucket of ice. He tossed it to me and I had to scramble to catch it with one hand. My teeth clenched as the pain snaked across my chest once again. I hardly noticed when Blaise took the glass of champagne from my other hand.
"Lucian is trying to push you to be a wine and champagne kind of guy. Stick with beer. It suits you."
I preferred wine and champagne, but I decided to appease him just this once. Observing him from the corner of my eye, I watched as he grabbed a beer himself and began sipping it, staring out at the guests with clear distaste.
"Not a fan of the mafia gatherings?" I asked wryly.
"What gave you that impression?" he murmured. "What's there to celebrate about power corruption and violence?" He jerked his chin toward my wounded shoulder. "Are we celebrating the wounded and innocent bystanders? Or are we celebrating the fact that everyone in New Jersey will submit to the Romano Empire?" Blaise took a swig of his beer, grimacing. "Lucian and I used to—"
He cut himself off, his face clouding with fond recollection before it was wiped clean.
"You and Lucian?" I was interested in knowing more about them. "I noticed you two don't see eye-to-eye. At first, I believed there might have been resentment for Lucian being heir, but it's clearly not that."
He offered me a sidelong glance. "No. It's why I attend Oxford University. To get away from it all." Blaise rotated his body and blocked me from curious onlookers, Lucian especially. "Lucian and I promised each other we'd leave this place as soon as we were able to."
"What changed Lucian's mind?"
I had ignorantly believed Lucian had always strived to become the Boss. It was expected of him, wasn't it? Hearing that he hadn't liked the mafia before his position as underboss was strangely comforting.
Blaise's eyes were especially open and indignant. "Gabriele. He needed a successor. He exposed Lucian to power and control, instilling the necessary traits in Lucian that would make him a good heir. Clearly, power was more important to Lucian than a brother and the pact we made." He smiled bitterly. "He would dispose of you if it meant more power for him."
I looked away, a dark sensation in my stomach.
It wasn't from fear of Lucian doing the same to me as he did to his brother, but resentment for Blaise's clear insult to Lucian. I looked down and tinkered with the bottle in my hands. "People can change," I tried. "I don't believe Lucian is the same idiot as he was back when he first became underboss."
He did not appear convinced. "Mother has prattled nonstop about you. She told me that you've had a miraculous effect on Lucian."
Laughing, I shook my head. I remembered Contessa mentioning something similar. "I can't take the credit, not when it's Lucian's own doing. He's maturing. He also has his family to hold him back from losing himself for too long."
Blaise contemplated. "If what you and my mother say are true, then it makes sense why my father is putting up such a fit about you being with Lucian. He wants Lucian to be hard, cruel. With you softening him up, you're destroying Gabriele's ideal successor."
"You really dislike your father, don't you?" I wondered, briefly thinking about my own father.
"I don't hate him," Blaise started, "but I really can't stand the guy. He's power-hungry and..." the older boy trailed off, a troubled expression on his face. "Well, he's just committed some acts that—"
"That should be kept in the past," Lucian interrupted as he came to a stop directly next to me. He was quick to curl a hand around the nape of my neck in greedy delight. "I see you two have become fast friends." He threw Blaise a clear look of warning. "It didn't take long for you to open up to Afton."
I was unmoved at Lucian's jealousy.
Blaise smirked, swigging his beer in an uncivilized manner. He looked remarkably like Tony then. "What can I say? There is just something about Afton that makes me want to get closer." He winked at me, intentionally getting Lucian riled up.
"You're being difficult." I shook off Lucian's tightening hand from my neck. "It's nice to finally talk to a Romano who isn't a blank wall of nothingness."
That came out wrong.
Lucian's face turned completely impassive, clear indication that I had said something that hurt him.
I immediately sobered, placing my beer on the table and turning fully toward him. "I'm—I was kidding, Lucian. It was—" I was a stumbling and stuttering mess. "I just have trouble reading you. The joke was entirely unnecessary and uncalled for."
He looked down at me, still obnoxiously blank. It didn't help matters that Blaise was behind us, laughing.
I curled my hands into the lapels of Lucian's suit, fisting them tightly and bringing him closer. At least he didn't fight against my hold. Rather, he did the opposite. His hands grabbed my face and he leaned down to claim my mouth hungrily.
In public.
In front of people.
I stiffened at the public display of affection, but I didn't pull away. Honestly, I felt like an asshole for my comment. Lucian was already insecure enough as it was without belittling comments spoken in public. Swallowing my reservations, I kissed him back. My fingers pressed tenderly against his cheek, a nonverbal gesture of apology.
He pulled away with a satisfied smirk. "I know you didn't mean it as an insult, Afton." He carefully arranged a few strands of hair on top my head, a pleased air about him. Then his affection turned cold and cruel. "What did De Luca want with you?"
"To jump Afton," Blaise offered helpfully. "Said he'd like to take him for a test drive."
What the hell?
Lucian pulled away from me so fast, I barely had time to grab his arm. "Stop, Lucian," I tugged him back before he could make a scene. "He only said those things to get your attention."
"Let go," Lucian whispered sinisterly as he leaned closer to me. "He had no right..."
I was unimpressed at his act of intimidation. "Go right ahead and make an idiot of yourself." Releasing his elbow, I stood back and watched as Lucian slowly lost his steam. "You have to realize he is desperate for your attention. He expected you to come after him. Are you going to give him the satisfaction?"
Lucian straightened. He still carried his fury in the tense line of his mouth. He glanced at a smirking Blaise before looking back at me. "You're right," he murmured quietly. "But if he approaches you again, he'll definitely get my attention."
I hardly imagined it was the type of attention De Luca was looking for, and I truly believed Lucian would not hold back next time. Glancing at Blaise, I frowned at him, blaming him for Lucian's tantrum. The younger Romano brother had lost his mirth and was now watching the two of us closely.
A voice suddenly sounded next to Blaise. "Afton Conti? Is that really you?"
The girl that entered our small group was familiar. My eyes rose from her black high heels to her fitting crimson dress and up to her face. Like the majority of the people here, she had dark hair, but unlike the typical dark eyes, hers were light grey.
The eyes instantly brought back memories of my childhood. Catherine Moretti, or "Cat" as she insisted, was a girl who had grown up with me. I hated her as a young boy, only because she wanted to hang out with Tony and me all the time. She had been a girl and girls had cooties.
And then we grew up and I had gotten along with her, especially when she kicked my ass in soccer all the time. The three of us had been inseparable until we turned fourteen. She had moved to New York around the same time my grandparents had died.
At the time, I had been too preoccupied to keep in touch with her.
"Cat." I was surprised to see her after all these years. "You..." I trailed off, aware of Lucian at my side and aware of his quick, but false judgments. "You've grown up."
And she had.
She was a grown woman now and not an awkward teenager. If I wasn't so engrossed with Lucian, I'd even say she was beautiful.
She laughed. "That's what five years can do to you." Her smile never wavered as she took a step closer, clearly a move to embrace me. "I'm surprised to see you here. I would have thought you'd be in France somewhere, attending art school."
Her arms went around me and I returned the hug, feeling the heat of Lucian's sharp observation on the both of us. I pulled away, putting a respectable distance between us.
"France was always your dream." I grinned, blinking when I realized Blaise was leaning closer, a wicked grin on his face. Manners, right. Introductions. "Er, this is Blaise Romano." I watched as the boy stuck out an eager hand, his eyes appreciative on Cat.
She faltered only slightly on the last name but recovered and shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Catherine Moretti."
"The pleasure is all mine," Blaise returned lowly, bringing her hand up and kissing her knuckles.
Cat smiled pleasantly and then looked at Lucian, her expression struggling to remain friendly.
I turned to Lucian, noticing he had reverted back to his icy disposition. He looked similar to the man I had first met at my parents' house. He had his hands tucked in his pockets, warding off any thought of a handshake. His expression was closed and his eyes were sharp and focused intensely on Catherine.
"And this happy man is Luciano Romano," I introduced tightly.
As his eyes jumped to mine, I clearly expressed my displeasure. He had nothing to be uptight about. She was just a friend and had always been just a friend.
"I've heard so much about you from my father, but I never had the chance to meet you personally." Even with Lucian's standoff mood, Cat gathered her courage and held out her hand. It hung solo between them for a long few seconds before she dropped it.
"Let me reintroduce myself properly," Lucian said superiorly. He then held out a hand to her, looking as if he were bored of the whole conversation in general. "I'm Lucian, Afton's lover. It is a pleasure to meet and old friend of Afton's."
For the love of... god.
Her eyebrows had skyrocketed and her expression turned even tenser, however, she somehow managed to recover gracefully. She shook Lucian's hand, offering a fleeting smile. "I'm sure if anyone can deal with Afton's odd quirks, it's you."
I had no quirks.
I don't know what the hell she was talking about.
It was time for an abrupt change of subject. "What made you come back to New Jersey?"
Though it was said to divert the conversation, I suddenly realized that this was a party for the employees and employers of the Romano Family. I frowned, staring at her.
All this time? Her family was also—
"My father has business with the Don." She smiled at me. It didn't reach her eyes, only because she probably knew what I was thinking. "He'd love to meet with you again, Afton. He was always fond of you." She flashed a look at Lucian, trying hard to include him in the conversation in order to appease him. "Where is Tony? You two were always joined at the hip."
Until he went berserk, until I went to California for school, until he joined the mafia.
I attempted to look indifferent. "He's probably at home with his sister." I grabbed Lucian's arm and he immediately took possession of mine as well. He could be a jealous ass, but his physical contact always made me feel secure. "How long are you going to be in town?"
"A week or two." She noticed Lucian gradually beginning to pull me away. "I'll stop by your house later. Maybe we can spend some time together before I leave."
"I'd like that. It was good seeing you again, Cat."
Before we were completely out of sight, I noticed Blaise closing in on Catherine, obviously trying to hit on her. I scoffed. Blaise was definitely part of the same gene pool as Lucian.
"I'm tired," Lucian murmured, leading me out of the main hall and down a familiar corridor. "My father won't mind too much if we leave earlier than anticipated."
I highly doubted Gabriele cared much about my whereabouts, but I didn't mention it.
He opened the door to his bedroom and ushered me inside. As soon as I entered, I kicked off my shoes and began unknotting my tie. I hated feeling bound and constricted. Suits were horrible, ties especially. My fingers stumbled with my tie and I began pulling at it in irate jerks.
"Anxious for something?" Lucian's voice mocked from across the room. He slid effortlessly out of his coat and tie and was currently hanging them neatly in his closet.
"You don't need to be so overprotective," I remarked darkly. "I'm with you and I'm happy being with you. You don't need to see others as constant threats."
Throwing off my tie and jacket, I let them fall to the ground in a heap before collapsing on to his bed. Through lowered lashes, I watched as Lucian paid me no heed as he began to pick up my jacket and straighten it on a hanger.
"With me," Lucian repeated tonelessly. "What does that exactly mean, Afton?" He lifted a shapely eyebrow as he hung my suit up next to his in the closet.
"You're... my partner." Fuck. That sounded absolutely ridiculous.
"I'm your lover, you're my lover," Lucian corrected.
I pursed my lips at his nonchalant and distant behavior. He was upset with me about something. I imagined he didn't appreciate me introducing him to my childhood friend without adding 'my lover' to the introductions. "She's just a friend from the past." Who was apparently involved in the mafia scene. "You have absolutely nothing to be jealous about. I'm gay, remember?"
"You're not gay, I am gay." He scoffed ominously. "You are bisexual. That means I don't only have to worry about men taking an interest in you, but also women."
He was being difficult. Why couldn't he see that I wasn't like that?
"They can take an interest if they want, but I love being with you. I don't think anyone can come remotely close to matching you. And you have the ego to prove it." I gave him a cheeky grin as he turned around from the closet to look at me. "Honestly, Lucian, I would never betray you like that."
His expression suddenly softened and he matched my grin with his own. "I know that, Afton."
He then frowned, his features darkening considerably. Without another word, he escaped into the bathroom with quick and long strides. Just as I sat up on the bed, wondering what I had done to set him off, he came back in the room, carrying a cup of water and a box.
"Take these." He held out a hand and placed two pills firmly into my palm. "You should have told me sooner that your wound was bothering you."
My white shirt, I finally noticed, had crimson stains on it. The pain was still there, but it had turned into a small thud, making it easy for me to forget about it. "It's not a big deal," I tried to lighten the mood but panicked a moment later when Lucian reached for my shirt. "You don't need to clean it! I can do it."
"Sit down and take the pills, Afton. They will help with the pain." I hesitated. "Take the damn pills. You're too stubborn," he admonished. "You need to get this healed."
Reluctantly, I swallowed the pills and chased after them with a few gulps of water.
I sulked when he began to gently pull away the shirt from the wound, being careful not to tear the abrasion any more than necessary. His breath, smelling entirely of mint gum and a hint of wine, played gently across my cheek as he began to clean the bloodied area.
I stared at him, feeling more confident in my observation when he wasn't looking at me.
I thought it was amusing that his features were entirely masculine and aristocratic, but he had eyelashes women would envy. They looked a lot like my mother's after she put on mascara. They were thick and black and they were plentiful.
He had also taken my earlier advice about shaving.
The heavy beard was now short stubble, not hiding his face anymore, but still adding shadows. His face was currently screwed up in concentration as he applied a bandage over the stitches. His lips carried the brunt of his concentration as he tensed and rolled them together.
Up this close, Lucian didn't seem so intimidating.
Grinning, I reached toward Lucian, adjusting his hair. A few strands had rebelled against his usual parted hairstyle and were dropping to the opposite side.
Lucian's eyes shot up in surprise as he watched me fix his hair. His hands fell to his lap as soon as he finished cleaning my wound. "You're beautiful," he groaned, grabbing my hand from his head and pressing his lips against my curled fingers.
"I'm not beau—"
He pushed the first aid box to the ground and grabbed my face. As he had done at the party, he claimed my mouth with impatient vigor. Only, this time, he was a lot more forceful and demanding.
I closed my eyes, trying to match his vigor and loving the feel of his chapped lips against mine. Our dry lips quickly turned slick with saliva as Lucian's tongue invaded my mouth. We traded spit like fucking animals and I was oddly aroused by the thought.
Lucian used his weight to push me flat on my back. I grew tense as he straddled my waist, aligning our groins together. My cock twitched, aroused at the friction, but I broke the kiss.
"Lucian... I...oh...!" I blinked as he pressed his erection against my growing hard on.
The friction was... fuck.
It was wonderful.
Was this what I've been missing every time I pulled away from him?
He panted in my ear before biting my neck aggressively. The pain was fleeting and replaced by pleasure as he sucked and swirled his tongue on the sore mark. My hands clawed at his shirt, overwhelmed completely by this new sensation. His hips rolled firmly against mine, both our cocks hard and desperate for release. Masturbation certainly couldn't come close to this.
As if reading my thoughts, Lucian chuckled breathlessly into my ear, pressing a kiss to my earlobe before grabbing my chin, forcing eye contact.
"I'd love to do more with you, but I've needed this for so long." He groaned and stared down at me with hazy eyes. "I wouldn't last long enough to make it pleasurable for you." He flashed a grin. "Where is your fire now, Afton? You look a little dazed..." he taunted hoarsely.
I wanted to do more than just lay here, but Lucian was easily dictating the situation.
His weight was crushing and his hands were everywhere. I growled, throwing my head back as he continued to roll our clothed erections together with cruel friction. There was a pressure building up in my stomach, in my balls, I knew I wouldn't last and I only hoped Lucian wasn't far behind me.
I didn't want to release too early.
Reaching for his hips, I pressed my own groin upward, forcing the contact. While it did make Lucian groan loudly, it definitely didn't make me feel any more in control than before.
I continued to meet his thrusts with my own. He seemed to enjoy it immensely as he swooped down to press his lips against mine once more. Our rubbing and thrusting became almost frantic and it didn't help matters that he began sucking on my bottom lip.
I lost it.
Moaning, I jerked, letting go of any control as I came. Lucian chuckled into my mouth, pressing down on me until my back groaned at the heaviness. He trembled and I knew he had come soon after I did.
"Perfect," he growled lowly in satisfaction.
I was boneless underneath him and he didn't seem inclined to move. While he was putting the entirety of his weight on me, he was favoring my right side, making sure my left shoulder stayed free from any unwanted pressure. It showed a great deal of consideration on his part and he had even been mindful of the injury when we were... frolicking.
Suddenly, his hand was down my pants and I flinched as his fingers brushed my spent erection. Onyx eyes looked at me in amusement. "Perhaps we should have started with a simple hand job."
"Fuck you," I hissed.
My irritation quickly turned cold as he brought his hand back from the waistband of my pants, his fingers coated with my semen. He then began licking his fingers free from cum, watching me hungrily the entire time. His mouth twisted into silent laughter at my slack expression.
It was—god it was arousing in a sick, fascinating way.
Before long, his hand was clear and he wiped it on his shirt.
"I hope you don't expect me to return the favor."
He laughed softly, leaning into me further and burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Eventually, I would like for you to return the favor." Before I could respond, he wrapped an arm around my waist. "Go to sleep, Afton."
There was nothing more I would have liked than to take a shower and put on dry pants. But I was tired and I was comfortable. I turned my neck, placing my chin on top of Lucian's head and wrapping my own arm around him. I didn't fight the sleep as it claimed me.