Hi guys I'm here with the third chapter. Please vote and comment guys. I'm really working hard on this.
And yes the cover for the book is designed by the very talented Shivu. Thanks @awesomeshivu for this beautiful cover. Isn't it wonderful guys😊
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Happy reading
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Rubbing her legs to and fro on the soft mattress and moving her head either ways on the pillow "Leave me.. I didn't kill him, leave me I said, don't do this, I said I didn't kill him, no I didn't , Noooooo" she yelled simultaneously clutching the duvet tight with sweat beds on her forehead she woke up on her bed with a jerk panting heavily and finding it hard to breathe she just gulped the glass of water which was lying beside on the side table of her bed.She sighed and kept the glass back and took her phone to check on the time which showed it was 4.30am.
"It's okay it was just the same nightmare relax Seher" she spoke to herself. Resting her head on the head support of the bed and wiping the sweat with the back of her hand from her forehead she relaxed for two minutes. Getting down from the bed she moved towards the washroom and after getting freshen up and doing wadhu(wuzu) she laid her prayer mat and offered her prayers. As it is the time for her Fajr namaz (morning prayers) . After completing her namaz she raised her hands for dua to her Allah with whom she finds peace.
"Ya Allah kab tak, aakhir kab tak ye khwab aise mera picha karenge, 3 saal hogae hain raat me chain ki neend soe hue, mai thak gai hun, mere dil ko sukoon chahye, kya wo meri galati thi? Jo hua uske liye kya mai zimmedar hun? " Sobbing she said "Aur agr hoon... to...to tu to sabko muaf kar deta hai ,mujhe bhi muaf kar de, mujhe mera sukoon de do Allah meri rooh ko sukoon de do, kab tak raaton ko pareshan rahun, ab aur bardasht nahi hota " tears flowing continuously she was blabbering "mujhe in khwabon se nijat de do, mujhe muaf kar do, mujhe muaf kar do Khuda, mujhe muaf kar do" she cried on the prayer mat asking for forgiveness and inner peace as if she had committed a sin for which she was begging for forgiveness constantly . She sat there on the prayer mat for half an hour after completing her namaz followed by Tilawat-e-Quran which she does on a daily basis, it is the part of her life routine.
Seher's pov:
They say time heals all the wounds , but is it true? It's been 3 years and yet I'm not freed from these nightmares. Kab picha chutega in khwabon se. I left that place , with the hope that shayad jagah change hone se I'll set myself free from those memories, those bitter memories which haven't left wounds on my body but they've definitely left scars on my soul , meri rooh ko zakhmi kar gaya hai mera maazi (past) kya ye sab kabhi khatm hoga, kya kabhi dubara sukoon ki neend naseeb hogi mujhe is zindagi me. Yahan aai thi is umeed se that I'll make a fresh start but mai jitna un yadoon ko bhulna chahti hoon wo utna he mera picha kar rahi hain. Pata nahi kis gunaah ki saza mil rahi hai. Will I ever be able to move on? Will I ever be able to trust any man again? Kya kabhi mere zakhm bharenge ya phir waqt ke sath ye aur gehre hojaenge??? Sighing!!! Itne sawaal hain par koi jawab nahi . Kya kabhi in sawalon ke jawab milenge ya phir ye zindagi aise he chalti rahegi jab tak ye saanse (breath) hain. But yes as they say umeed pe duniya qayam hai; I won't leave hopes after all mera Allah hai na wo sab dekh raha hai aur wo ek din sab theek kar dega Inshallah.
End of pov
Author's pov :
Sitting on the prayer mat she's asking for forgiveness and peace. But has she really committed a sin or is it that she's not being able to move on from that particular phase. Leaving the place which gave her wounds she wanted to start a fresh but looks like she's failed in her attempt. Does moving from one place to another really helps in healing the wounds ? I don't think so. Infact it's your conscious which instigates you. Maybe she's holding it back and not letting it go. If she wants a better life in future she has to let it go. You can't walk the entire life with your past baggages , at some point you've to let them go and free yourself from that burden which is sucking the happiness out of your life. Seher has to do it, she can't just keep walking like this with the hope that everything will be fine one-day coz if she continues this way she'll screw up everything and everyone around her, not only hurting herself more but also the one's who love her to whom she matters a lot.
Seher Baig
She's a sweet innocent 27 year old girl. She's a person who wants to help everyone out there and remain unnoticed. She believes in forgiving and spreading love. She wants everyone to be happy around her and wants them to keep smiling altough she herself doesn't smiles much. She has a past which still haunts her. She finds peace in prayers and music.
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Nightmares ! They are an essential part of our dreams. Where on one hand dreams are a result of what we wish, desire or even what we think the entire day so on the other hand nightmares are a result of some other mixed feelings such as fear, stress, anxiety and sometimes they're even the part of our past life which haunts us or maybe a result of PTSD. They scare the hell out of us. Some people are not affected by the nightmares but to some it leaves a huge impact on the person causing emotional disturbance, fear and in some cases causing insomnia , difficulty in sleeping which leads to distress during daytime. It leaves you with a deep down taught. But for some people they become a part of their day to day life.
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Impatient and restless , rubbing the creases on his forehead he was walking from one end to the other in the corridor of the hospital , the doctor came out of the ICU calling him from behind "Mr. Malhotra " he turned , he moved taking long steps towards the doctor only to stop near him "Manik I'm sorry" the doctor spoke and that was all for him he fell down on his knees "She can't , she can't leave me ,no she can't, no mannu , no...noo.... No....." soon he was drawn out by the shrilling ringtone of the alarm on his phone only to find himself on his bed which made him realize that it was the same nightmare which he has been getting from last four years, finding it hard to breathe all drenched up in sweat he sat up adjusting himself on the bed , grabbing his phone and glass of water from nearby side table, he gulped it down in a go to wet his dried up throat not before shutting down the alarm which was beeping continuously and showing the time it was 6.00 am. He sat there staring at nothing just lost in deep thought as if he didn't existed in this world. The sound of the windchime which was hanging in the balcony broke his trance and he came to his senses. Sighing deeply he rubbed his palm on his face only to wipe out the sweat from his face because sleep was long back gone far and moved his fingers through his hairs which were messy for obvious reasons. Pushing away the duvet he got off the bed and moved to the balcony and stood there holding the railing of the balcony . It's been 4 years he lost her, the priceless pearl of his life ,his mannu, his jaan ,his everything, his daughter in short his World.
Manik's pov:
"That day everything changed !!! I was happy, everything was just perfect , I couldn't have asked GWill I ever be able to forget her, will these nightmares ever get over, will I ever get a peaceful sleep like before that incident , har raat wahi sapne wahi yaadien wahi baaten , kab khatm hoga ye sab" with almost tears in his eyes "4 saal..it's been 4 bloody years..4 saal hogae hain us baat ko but everyday I feel jaise kal ki he baat hai, she was there with me crying, laughing , playing cribbing and what not " a tear which was threatening till now just rolled down the cheeks. Tightening the grip on the railing of the balcony "come back mannu, come back my jaan, dadda misses you a lot, wapas aajao dadda ke paas, please come back, please."
Author's pov:
Nightmares are really strange things , they take the person to the edge of slipping in depression or even losing the latters sanity . Sometimes it takes you to the worst part of your past to which you wouldn't even want to have a look. That's what exactly he's going through "come back mannu, come back to dadda, come back my jaan. " It was more of a whisper which came as a request. But he knew that's not possible because if it would've been he wouldn't had let her go. He would have done anything to keep her back. But life is not always how we want it. It has it's own plans and destiny has it's own games which it plays and we get played along. Because we've no option rather than that. Leaving the railing standing back straight he wiped the tears which had almost covered his face till now. Taking a deep breath he taught "Chal Manik just another day of this life which seems to be endless and going nowhere. " A life which he wasn't living but just residing , because suicide is not the solution to any problem all the more it makes the situation worst not for the person who committed it but for the one's who are left behind and Manik could not let his family into trouble ,that too on his cost never!!! That's how he's living his life just a passing day everyday , without any hopes any expectations and without struggling for a better future for his personal life. He has pushed himself into darkness and smiles hardly . But there is something that makes him feel at peace, It's Music!!!
To be continued.....
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