"N-no.. You can't..―" his cold hands reached his face, gripping tightly to his hair. Amane's vision blurred, to the point that his face was stained by big, warm tears, in contrast to his unusual cold body temperature. The lump on his throat felt hot, in attempt for the tears not to flow any further.
The sun reached the land, staining the sky with a rich, pastel orange hue. The sharp green grass swayed softly to the calm breeze, flowing freely. The tears brimming in the corner of his eyes were reflected onto the quiet river, flowing, drifting farther and farther into the deep waters.
Her hand was placed onto her chest, the other on his hand. Within the color of the sun's fading light, she could see his face so clearly, that she knew what his gaze meant, and his deepest fears and intentions.
His long, choppy, dark brown hair was a mess. His eyes that shone bright as the moon at night, seemed reluctant and hesitant. His slender, cold hands were shivering,. He didn't want her to see him in this kind of state― weak and dubious. "I told you already―" his voice croaked, his uncertainty stopped him from speaking any further. But he wouldn't want to leave her without an explanation. That would only hurt her more.
"Y-you shouldn't like me." With his quivering hands, he lifted it up, in an attempt to cover his face. He's scared. A coward. Not being able to say one single explainable reason, rather than the confusing sentence.
Her big, red, shiny orbs left a trace of skepticism, but, biting her lip, she spoke; "That decision is not for you to make." Amane was taken off guard, and his cloudy, amber eyes reached hers. "I know, that I'm incompetent," she started with a dejected look.
"clumsy, . ." She gulped. Amane decided not to say anything, as he never really prepared words to speak in the first place.
Always putting on a facade with fake smiles and persona, Yashiro has always been the one who can tear his walls down. No one else can, because no one ever did.
"I cant do anything by myself without having to bother someone in order to finish a simple task." She laughed with a hint of sarcasm. A single, shining, drop of tear fell from her reddening cheeks, staining her porcelain skin.
"A-and, to top it all off, no one likes my disgusting, fat ankles." Her voice wavered, being barely audible within each word. He felt his heart clench, the guilt that formed in his chest started to flow endlessly through his tears.
Amane Yugi felt bad, wait, scratch that, he felt worse by each word she spoke. If he did not choose to become such a coward, that if only he would stop protecting his feelings, they wouldn't come up with this kind of situation.
Silence lingered between them, the unspoken words and dried tears were all there was. Nothing more.
Nothing more, huh.
Yashiro clearly didn't think this through, but she was sure of what she felt. She would not let go of this chance now that it's in her hands.
"But, I know. I know more than myself, . . I wouldn't stop loving you." The sudden rush of determination rushed through her blood. With flushed cheeks, a tear-stained face, she declared her love for Amane Yugi. A gaze reached their orbs, pitiful, love struck;
And pain.
But his eyes went dark, as he only looked down on the floor, without meeting her enchanting, drowning crimson eyes.
He's afraid if he's going to look at it once more, he might lose control and drown in her two pools of deep waters.
"I'm a mess, Yashiro." He stated in a low voice. His emotions were clearly portrayed on his face, expressing anger and fear, and lost of hope. But there was something in between. "My life is a mess Yashiro! Can't you see that?!" His heart tightened, feeling a deep remorse and disdain for himself.
"I have no intention of getting you tangled up with my life, I don't want you to be hurt any more." His lips might not be able to say enough words to express his feelings, but Yashiro knew, she knew already with just one look into his eyes.
But without a single doubt, without giving it a single thought, without any more lies and deceit, she muttered out.
"I love you with all of my heart, Amane." The sun reached the land once more, turning the beautiful sunset with twinkling, dancing stars. It was such a pretty sight, if only those tears wouldn't be flowing from his eyes.
But then again, she wouldn't mind the way Amane looked right now. His bruises, wounds, scars. It didn't matter to Yashiro. To her, he was perfect. Just the way he is.
"I don't care if you're a mess, I'll fix you up. I don't care if you're broken, I'll build you up. And when you're feeling down, I'll cheer you up." She stated wholeheartedly, avoiding his gaze, unable to muster up the courage that she lost moments ago. Tears never stopped flowing from her eyes, the pain never leaving from her heart.
In the spur of the moment, she decided to look deep into him. In his eyes that were decorated with a thousand stars. "I'll do all of it for you. It might take me time, . . but I will never fail to express my feelings for you."
"Even.. if you drift far away, away from me, I swear, I will send my love for you no matter how long the distance may be―" her mind trailed off. Her lips pursed with a frown. Tears that were escaping from her eyes were unexpectedly wiped by Amane's hand. Yet when he pulled it away, Yashiro's hands intertwined with his.
"No matter how much you've changed―" her voice hitched, as she dared to continue her sworn speech to be with him, no matter what it would cost.
"Even if I would die right now, I promise you." Yashiro looked at him fearless, sniffling, with soft eyes,
"I will love you no matter the vast galaxies there are in between."
___________
If he could only tell her how he felt, without the fear growing inside him, it wouldn't lead to this.
Her blood-stained cheeks, her eyes that were swollen from crying, her small hands, and her petite figure. The sight made his knees weaken, legs giving up on him, as he felt his body falling onto the floor.
He was such a coward, an empty shell. He shouldn't had told her off like that, but he wanted to protect her, if it wouldn't mean that she wouldn't get hurt. Even if that danger was himself.
Blinding lights, loud commotion, dusty road.
Though even beneath his facade, she witnessed the scared, the terrified Amane who never had anything, but was only living in this world to love and protect her.
He believed in her, but not to his self. He trusted her, but not his own self. But if his life was twisted and dark enough, it wouldn't get any worse. He sworn to protect her, always. No matter what kind of danger.
But he failed.
He always does.
There she was, laying on the rocky road, motionless, her eyes― lifeless and dull.
If only if he trusted himself enough,
He could feel his breath stop, eyes widening in fear, but he would still gather enough strength to come to her. Beads of sweat started rolling on the side his face, and his hands trembled.
If only he protected her more than he did for himself.
The commotion took the attention of the bystanders nearby, them calling the ambulance, but no matter to Amane, as he lifted Yashiro's head, unable to stop the hot tears that were falling from his eyes.
"Y-yashiro.."
No, this couldn't be happening, could it? He must be just dreaming. He'll convince himself it's a dream.
This just couldn't be real.
"N-No, Yashiro, you shouldn't be like this. Open your eyes.." his voice cracked, his heart tightened, his body trembled uncontrollably. He grabbed her head and placed it onto his lap. His throat felt like hot wax, and so was the growing feeling in his chest.
"Open your eyes! Hold on, Yashiro..!" He begged. Her head throbbed, her vision blurry. But she could make out the amber eyes that was looking at her with concern. She hated that expression. She hated it when he was worrying too much about her. She focused on his face, and nothing else, that she didn't mind the excruciating pain in her broken bones.
"No.. don't look at me w-with that face.." her weak voice reached the ears of the poor boy. Her teeth clenched, feeling the pain reside in each corner of her body.
"Yashiro.., please― h-hold on.. The ambulance will be her soon.." Amane stated frantically, not being able to stay strong for her. Seeing her like this breaks him into pieces itself. Another bead of sweat found it's way falling on the side of his face, mixing with his overflowing tears.
"I.. I won't m-make it.."
"Don't say that! Don't think that way..!" Amane almost screamed. His eyes eyes widened, his breathing hitched, feeling the immense pain deep in his heart. She can't die right now, he doesn't want it to, no one did. He sworn to protect her and love her, only her.
She was the light of his life, so if she were to be gone, what would be left for him to live for?
'It's my fault,. I should have known better.' He thought bitterly to himself.
'If I stopped her from running away earlier., she wouldn't be hit by a truck.. a-and be like this..'
"Don't blame y-yourself, okay..?" She said with a low, audible voice, it was as if she read his mind. The pain was growing stronger and unbearable within each passing moment. Even if all of her body ached and her bones break, she showed him― with all the energy she can muster, a sad smile.
She can't just dissapear like this, can't she? She swore that she'll love him, right? If she really did, she wouldn't be in this state,. . .
Right?
The tearful Amane gave a nod, that resulted his tears falling to her cheeks. Though it was not much, his body heat tried to keep her warm, until to her last moment. She groaned loudly in pain, and she felt like her life was being sucked out. Her body temperature was cold, as if she wasn't alive anymore. Their clothes bathed in a dark red color, and Yashiro's lifeless body was laying on the road with her own pool of blood.
"My― my love will o-outlive my life,.. and I will see you again― i-in my next life.." She coughed up blood in between sentences. The pain Amane felt of seeing her in that state was so strong, within the sight of her once bright, lively crimson red eyes, turn dull, fallen, and dark.
Her last words were meant for him only. Without a single doubt.
"Ya-yashiro, no! Open your eyes! Please!.. do―don't leave me..!"
'You promised! You― you promised to love me!
Y-you said, that no matter how messed up I am, you'll fix me, right?
N-no matter how broken I am, you'll build me up, r-right?
That no matter h-how sad, I m-may be, you'll cheer me up, right. . . ?'
Tears started to fall from his cheeks, and his mind was flooded of her sweet, bright smile that she used to show him. Her clumsiness that he liked so much that he teased her from morning til dawn, the times the had together when he would always help her, he absolutely loved it. Even her radish legs, he'd never get tired of it. Her smell, her hair, her eyes, everything was etched in his memories, and he'll make sure it'll remain, for a long, long time.
Life was too cruel to them, that they didn't knew it was their last.
It was a miracle for her to hold long enough for her to say her last words to Amane. But he became greedy, so greedy that he begged God to give him more time with her, even just one moment with her again..
He waited within each minute, not missing a second. He begged and begged each day and night, until he lost the gleam in his eyes. Until he lost the bright smile of his. Until he stopped believing it would come.
But it never did.
Atleast, . . not yet.
● ● ●
✧
1/2- finished.