The journey from the Northern territory, through the northeast portion of the Central Territory, and into the Eastern Territory was long.
And boring.
The landscape changed from the dramatic, picturesque white cliffs I'd appreciated in the Northern territory to rolling emerald green hills to flat, open grassy fields. The grassy fields were lovely for the first of our eleven hours in the car through the Central territory, then the waving blades of grass on either side of the road blurred together.
Elena's excitement, in the form of body twitches, like her knee bounced and her knuckles cracked, increased the closer we got. She gushed over the East's main packhouse having the finest library in the country. After whatever 'research' she had done in the North, she compiled a list of ten specific books in the East.
I couldn't bring myself to her level of enthusiasm, but this time I wasn't alone. Raina seemed to share my sentiments on the Eastern territory's breadth of history.
She blinked at Elena's questions about Northern pack history. "I don't remember half of it, sorry."
Two days of sleep deprivation and a monotonous prairie-like landscape lulled me into sleep. I dreamed that Lucus and Aspen were wrapped in each other's arms and wished me the best of luck finding a mate. To make the dream weirder, Aspen was pregnant.
'Bad news, Zara,' Cole woke me up with a mindlink. 'Your father is going to intercept us when we cross the Central territory going East.'
'How is that bad?' I rubbed my fists into my tired eyes.
After my heavy-lidded eyes opened, I blinked a few times. The interior of the car was black except for the faint glow of electronic devices.
'He's furious at you for rejecting Lucus.'
Bad news travels fast.
Sitting up, I rubbed my forehead with my palms.
'Definitely bad. Thanks for the warning.'
I sat back in my seat with a sigh. Not sure if rejecting Lucus was the right strategic move, since my reasons behind that decision felt weak, I chose a cop out. I cut any potential cord between us while he strengthened his natural mate bond with Aspen.
My father also warned me not to make any decisions until after we'd visited all four territories, so he'll give me an embarrassing, in-public tongue-lashing.
But Lucus himself was weak. He didn't trust me, didn't open up any of the secrets and intentions he held close to his chest.
He only acknowledged Aspen after I did.
The more I thought about the rejection, thoughts I kept to myself all day in the car so his sister didn't kill me for voicing them, the more my teeth tightened, nostrils flared, and shoulders wrenched up to my ears.
He couldn't stand up to his mate bond, or have the guts to reject me either. A bond between us would have been weak at best.
"Elena?" I whispered in the dark. "Are you awake?"
With rustling sounds and a low groan, she stirred in her seat. "Yeah?" she mumbled.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Mmmm... sure." She blinked her eyes open, then sat up and smoothed her flyaway curls down with her hands.
Of all the potential questions that I could have asked her in preparation for the Eastern territory, there was only one in particular I wanted to ask her about.
The question is burning inside me.
"Elena, what is heat?"
"We are seriously not going to talk about that now." Raina was also awake.
"What?" I watched as she sat up and stretched as well. "In prison, I had a strange warm sensation, umm, everywhere. Including here." I pointed my index finger between my legs. "I've never felt that."
My cheeks warmed as I shifted my gaze back to Elena. "The rogue prisoner called me a dog in heat... Is that what it was?"
"Most likely, yes." She slipped her glasses up her nose and nodded. "Every month with your natural cycle, around the optimal mating time to make a pup, your reproductive hormones make your body physically crave your mate. The longer you go without your mate, the worse it will get."
"It's going to get worse?" My mouth dropped open.
"Yes. You're on birth control, right?" After I nodded at her question, she continued, "That should suppress it a bit."
A bit? That heat felt awful.
My shoulders trembled at the thought.
"That's a relief." I exhaled, puffing out my cheeks.
"Nothing will help once you find your mate. It's unbearable between starting the mating process and completing it." With a smile, Elena offered what felt like the worst pep talk, "Only your mate can provide relief from it."
"What about after completing the mating process?" At my question, Raina's eyes shifted to Elena.
"Again, no, Zara," Elena confessed and shook her head. "I assume it's part of the natural reproductive process."
"Awesome," I muttered under my breath, although the heat process was already very not-awesome.
Raina sat still, observing this conversation, so I turned to her. "Do you get it too, Raina?"
She rolled her eyes. "Some of us are capable of exerting control over our bodies, Zara."
"Oh." My palms rubbed over my upper arms, heat warming my cheeks from another reminder that I needed to learn self-control.
"Except for heat." Raina snorted. "It's a bitch."
My shoulders and chest pitching, I burst into laughter. Elena added in her giggles, her slender shoulders bouncing. Raina let out a small chuckle.
"I bet Cole's happy to be riding in the other car." I looked out the back window behind us, where he and Idris rode.
"He's not," Elena mumbled.
"Missing you already?" The corners of my lips curled up.
I assumed since they completed their mating process in the North, they cooled off on the obsessive affection, but nope.
"No..." Her voice softened and eyes averted to her lap. "He and Idris are watching over that rogue prisoner."
"He's with us?" Raina and I both blinked, wide-eyed at her.
Elena nodded, tipping her chin down. When her eyes met mine, they were dark under her lashes. "Your father's request."
That's not good.
My heart squeezed in my chest, throbbing pulses through my veins.
"Shit," I cursed under my breath and brough my fist up to my mouth. "He's going to kill him."
"You said he spoke to you, Zara." Raina's dark hair slipped over her shoulders as she leaned forward. The first time seeing her hair down, she was quite pretty with it framing her face.
"Yeah." I nodded and turned to Elena. Sticking out my arm, I exposed the inside of my wrist and pointed with my index finger. "He said they weren't there to kill me, and he had a mark."
"Like a scar?" She drew her eyebrows together.
I shook my head. "No, a tattoo. Black ink. A wolf head silhouette with a circle and triangle pattern around it."
"Hmm..." she hummed, tapping one finger on her lower lip. Her frown deepened, creasing a line down her forehead. "When we get to the East's packhouse, do you think you could draw it for me?"
"I think so." The tattoo ink was almost identical to the second charm on my necklace, with a wolf head added. My fingers outlined my charm's pattern where it sat at the base of my neck.
"Thanks," Elena whispered. "It's probably nothing but worth it to look into. I suggest we not mention any of that to your father though."
I nodded, rolling my lower lip under and holding it with my teeth.
What's all the interest with this rogue?
"I understand." My chest heaved and collapsed with a sigh.
Lifting my thumb to my mouth, my lower teeth picked at the nail as I searched for a change of subject. "Hey Raina," I looked over at her. "Why did Idris decide to come with us? I'm glad he did but figured he should hate me for, well Lumi trying to kill him."
"His father suggested it." Her shoulders lifted up to her ears. "He had no mate within our pack, and after meeting you, he got encouraged to try and go out to find one. Speed up the Goddess' intentions, I guess."
"What about you?" I whispered. "Do you think you'll find your mate?"
"The only dating game we're supposed to be concerned about is yours, Flower." With one response and a scowl, she was back to angry and irritated Raina. "Don't ask me that again."
"I meant... you're attractive," I offered with a hand wave at her face. "You know, in a 'I'm going to rip your face off and wear it as a mask' kind of way."
Her dark eyes rolled and a scoff passed out her pursed lips. "I'd rather be that than a delicate flower."
Ugh, that's it! No more blind tolerance.
I had to know about this silly nickname.
"Why do you call me that?" Tingles pricking needles into my butt, I shifted in my seat and extended my legs.
After the attempted rogue attack heading north, Cole decided that we pushed through, driving with no stop. Elena, with Aspen's supposed help, packed all anticipated meals. I was surprised he didn't give us buckets to pee in, but allowed bathroom breaks and refilling the gas tanks.
While Cole's motivations for the near confinement in the car were understood, they were more irritating than understandable since I felt quite safe with Raina.
Her explanation broke through my thoughts, "Wild forget-me-nots grow on the farthest cliff behind our packhouse. Their tiny flowers have the same blue color as that stupid dress you wore the first night. It's a similar color to your eyes and you remind me of them, that's all."
My heart swelled with warmth at her reply, her words sounding like a compliment, until she added, "And you're a bit delicate, weak."
Once I wish she could go one conversation without calling me weak, or at least implying I am.
I didn't have to ask or mindlink Elena if she planned that outfit because her gleaming eyes gave her away.
Can only wait and see what she's planned next.
Hours later, I glanced up from the Eastern medicine book Elena passed me to read. Raina's eyes were glassed over in a mindlink. Her eyes narrowed and her mouth turned down, like whatever information she received upset her. Once her eyes returned to normal, she clenched her hands.
"So..." I cleared my throat, breaking our silence and closing the book with a snap of the binding. "Raina, can I talk to you about something?"
Eyes thin and narrow, she glared at me. "Do I have a choice?"
"Your father..." My voice trailed off at what I assumed was the topic of her mindlink.
"He's angry." She sighed and kicked out her feet. "He found out today."
"Oh..." I dropped my gaze to my lap and squeezed one hand in the other. "Is he angry about the rejection, or not finding out before we left?"
At least Lucus had the guts and told his father.
"Both." Her eyes narrowed further.
Dryness crept up the back of my throat and I swallowed. "Can you tell him that I'm sorry? I didn't tell him myself because your mother suggested not to."
My spoken words sounded as pathetic out loud as they did in my mind. Elena glanced between Raina and me.
"And you... believed her?" Raina stared at me with disbelief in her eyes.
Did she say that about her mom? What don't I know?
"She's your Luna..." I replied as my eyebrows knitted together. "And his mate."
"She might know him personally but not his alpha responsibilities." Her cold tone drew a shiver down the back of my neck.
I wrung my hands with a harder squeeze. "I also believed Lucus, who said he'd work it out with your father."
"And you believed him?" The doubt in her voice lifted my eyes with my raised eyebrows.
This is her family she's referring to.
"Do you think he'd lie?" I gasped when she didn't answer me.
He promised me. Maybe she has trust issues?
"Do... you think I'm lying?" I whispered.
While I wasn't the best decision-maker, which in hindsight led to my detriment since I avoided telling Alpha Faelon myself, I didn't lie.
Silence hung between us, thickening the air as Raina looked out the window. I drew in a breath and held it as her gaze softened.
"No," she whispered.
I breathed out at her even-toned response.
The corners of her mouth turned down. "But knowing Lucus, he won't share every detail. And right now, my whole pack is stinging with rejection, Flower."
At her response, I slumped down in my seat, closed my eyes, and sighed. Heat filled my cheeks since I didn't realize how insulting my leaving without discussing my decision with Alpha Faelen.
I was only concerned with Lucus and my feelings... his more than mine.
"I hope you know that I had Lucus' best interest in mind." My voice wavered as hot tears rose into my eyes. "Aspen was his wolf's choice, any bond with me would have been weak. I... hope you can respect that."
"I know." She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. "And I do."
"You do?"
"You're incredibly naïve, Flower," she spoke in a slow, flat voice, enunciating each words. "But I don't think you're capable of malice and deceit like your father. Lucus mindlinked me that night, told me he asked you to reject him in favor of Aspen. I tried to talk him out of it but you'd already done it. He was... relieved."
My eyes closed under the weight of her words. "I see."
We fell into silence for a few minutes. My fingers traced the edges of my book before I spoke up again. "Raina, can I ask you something personal?"
"You're going to ask no matter what I say, aren't you?" She rolled her eyes. "What?"
"You'll like this question." My lips twitched. "Why do you train the Silverback warriors?"
"Because that's my job," she stated, looking me in the eyes. "And I'm damned good at it."
"I know that." I groaned. "Why is that your interest?"
"I don't know." Her shoulders lifted halfway up to her ears. "Growing up, I preferred my brother's friends. I wanted to keep up with them, wrestle in the mud instead of smearing makeup on my face. When I turned thirteen, I was good at fighting. My parents thought it was the best way for me to serve my pack."
I sat back at her words and what they revealed about her parents. They easily could have forbidden her to learn fighting, like my father had. I imagined their concern for their daughter's safety being a full-time warrior. But, instead of denying her interests and skills, she was given a pack position where she flourished.
Couldn't have expressed in words how much that impresses and saddens me if I tried.
At the reminder of wolves that impressed me, I looked at Elena. "Can we discuss something?"
Her brown eyes flickered. "Anything."
"What makes Luna Rashida powerful? Please tell me it's not that 'How to get a wolf-boyfriend' book you tried to make me read."
"It's called The Art of Seductive Persuasion, Volume Five." She huffed. "But what do you mean?"
"You called her the most powerful Luna," I reminded her. "What makes her powerful?"
"Oh." She cupped her cheeks in her palms. "I'm... not the best person to ask about Lunas."
"Don't worry," Raina spoke up, shifting her eyes from mine to Elena's. "I've heard that too. Can't believe I'm agreeing with Zara but I'm curious too."
"I'm not -" Elena started.
"Guess then," I pressed.
"Fine." She sighed, her eyes narrowed and her brows pinched together. "Influential is more appropriate. Alphas are the leaders of the pack, and with that position comes the power."
"Oh." My face fell.
Den mother status.
"Alpha Stephan is responsible for the safety and security of Eastern pack, but Rashida Luna created its essence, ideals, purpose, and future." Pride radiated in Elena's voice and her chest lifted. "History, scholarship, and natural healing are its core. The healing bloodline is also said to be carried through her, although it's only a rumor."
"I'll put that on the list of questions to ask her," I mumbled and slumped down in my seat at the unexpected answer.
I don't know why I feel so disappointed. Luna Rashida can't shoot lightning out her eyeballs.
Not wanting to appear unappreciative, I looked up at her from under my lashes. "Thanks for the insight, Elena."
We fell back into silence before another burning question popped into my mind.
We've flushed all of them out like cobwebs that lingered in a corner for the past hour, might as well as the last one I'm wondering about.
My face turned to Raina. "As much as I'd like to take credit for my powers of persuasion, why did you end up coming with us, Raina?"
She blinked at me, so I added, "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here."
"My brother," she replied simply.
My forehead tensed with a frown. "Lucus asked you to come?"
"He asked me to come here with Silverback orders," was the vague reply, matching her emotionless expression.
"Orders for what?" Elena spoke up.
Raina's lips pressed into a firm, thin line. Her eyes narrowed at me before. "Not sure you need to know that, since you rejected us."
Ouch.
"I didn't reject your pack." A lump swelled in the back of my throat because her pack was the sole reason I wouldn't have rejected Lucus.
But now I can see that's how it appears from an outside perspective.
"I did what Lucus asked..." I offered, tugging my lips to one side.
And at a great risk to myself.
Politically, in hindsight, angering Alpha Faelon wasn't the brightest idea.
"I said I respected your decision, Flower," she replied. "But didn't say I was happy about it."
Fair enough.
"Lucus is better with Aspen anyways." My eyes cast down to my lap. "That's who his wolf wants. Who he wants. He rejected me a lot sooner, without telling me."
Raina's quiet voice lost its harsh edge. "Medical supplies."
"What?" I looked up at her.
"The East is known for developing alternative medicines to the mass manufactured ones in your father's pharmaceutical company in the West. Your wound cream, for example." Raina directed her gaze down my leg. "Lucus asked me to secure a large shipment of medical supplies. That is why I came."
My shoulders slumped. "Oh."
"Supplies for what?" The curiosity in Elena's voice matched the level I felt inside.
"I don't know." Raina's shoulders shrugged. "But it's the largest order we've ever placed."
'That can't be good,' I mindlinked Elena. 'What is Alpha Faelon planning?'
'We didn't see anything while we were there,' she replied. 'I'll tell Cole but best we keep this to ourselves. Especially from your father. I have a feeling that we need Raina's trust.'
I nodded, hoping my decision with Lucus had nothing to do with Alpha Faelon's need for medical supplies.
Little did I know, the ramifications of my rash decision already waited to confront me before we reached the Eastern territory.