Dedicated to @fluffycockatoos.
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Me: Hey, your text messages don't seem to work again, that god we have this Wattpad chat, otherwise i couldn't've asked you why you weren't pregnant at school!
Friend: Umm...
Me: I meant PRESENT!
Friend: Lmao.
Me: So why weren't here at uni?
Friend: You won't believe this...
Me: what?
Friend: I am pregnant.
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Me: Your email doesn't work.
Me: Hello?
Me: Oh wait...
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This next blooper could offend some ofyou people... You have been warned.
Friend: Hey, wanna come over tonight?
Me: cunt, my BF wants me to stay home.
Friend: Break up with him!
Me: Lmao, i meant can't. We have to water all his bottom trees.
Friend: I would gladly help.