Harry's P.O.V
"Wake up, Harry! You're going to be late for school!" I heard my mum yell.
"All right, all right," I groaned. "I'm getting up." I dragged myself out of bed.
I got up and fixed my hair in the mirror, getting dressed in what I hoped was an all right outfit, and wouldn't give me away for being gay. I didn't want anyone to know.
I walked down to breakfast, I sat down at the table and slowly ate my cereal. "Listen," my mum said sitting down. "I love you, and I just want you to know that you shouldn't be ashamed. It's you, and you shouldn't feel the need to hide who you really are from this school. Who knows, there might be another boy in the closet, and you could inspire him, and maybe he'll like you." She winked at me.
"Mum, I'm not going to say anything yet. But thanks for the advice," I told her. She was so supportive. I came out to her last month, and I still haven't come out to my dad, because I haven't seen him for a month. He's a scientist and he's on a trip right now, he'll be home tomorrow. I was on the verge of telling him before he left, but I was scared. I was scared that he would hate that I'm gay, maybe he won't consider me a son anymore. I just don't know what to do. Mum encourages me to tell him when he comes home, but I'm so scared.
My mum wrapped me in a big hug, "I love you so much. This is going to be your year, I can feel it." She let go and looked me in the eyes, her eyes were sparkling.
"Thanks, Mum," I smirked back at her. Wishful thinking, Mum. I thought.
I got up and put on my shoes, slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I started to head out to the bus stop. "Oh, no, honey, I'll take you to school." Mum stood up, slipped on her slippers and grabbed her keys.
"Mum, no offense, but I'm not sure how much my reputation will be helped by you driving me to school and embarrassing me." I said sheepishly.
"You're right," she said, taking her slippers off and grinning ear to ear. "Okay, love you sweetie, see you after school!" She called over my shoulder as I went out to the bus stop.
I walked up as soon as the bus pulled into the stop, perfect timing. I got on the bus and sat in the first seat, which was open. I looked out the window and prayed everything would be okay at this new school.
"Hey," I heard a voice say from across the aisle.
"Hi," I said back, looking for the source of the voice. It was a girl, who was about my age.
"What's your name?" She sat forward, I hoped she didn't think I was cute, how would I play that out without being a jerk? I couldn't just say, 'Oh, I'm gay. Sorry.' Or, 'Sorry, I'm not interested.' I'd be a jerk to do that. I'll just see what happens, I guess.
"I'm Harry. What's your name?"
"Lindsey. Are you new here? I haven't seen you around." Her eyes were sparkling with interest.
"Yeah, I'm new." I said, hoping that would stop the conversation. I didn't really feel like talking, my stomach was in knots.
"Oh," I think she understood, because she sat back. I sneaked a glance at her, she had her long red hair curled in little ringlets, she had bright blue eyes. She was pretty, but not my type, you know.
The bus stopped at the school, it looked smaller than my other school. Maybe I won't get lost in this one as much, like I used to.
I went to the office, "Hi, I'm here to pick up my schedule." I told the lady behind the desk.
"Last name?" She said blankly, shuffling through papers.
"Styles," I told her.
"Right. Here you go," she handed me a paper, adjusted her glasses, then went through shuffling papers again.
"Thank you," I said timidly.
She gave a general nod in my direction, then I turned on my heel and walked away. I saw my first class was math, "Great," I mumbled under my breath. "First thing in the morning, I'm hit with math problems."
I located my locker, number 156, and opened it, making sure the combination worked. All of the sudden, I was knocked off of my feet. I was on the ground before I knew it. "Oops." I heard a petite voice say, I looked up and saw a boy. Perhaps older than me, with brown hair that was swept out of his eyes. He was wearing a letter man jacket.
"Hi," I breathed. Crap! Less gay. I told myself, he held his hand out and I took it, getting up.
"Hey, I haven't seen you around before. You new?" He said, getting into his locker, which was right next to mine.
"Yeah," I said, getting back to my locker, and putting all my textbooks in it. I pulled out my Math textbook and put it in my locker.
"Awesome. What's your name?" He said, shutting his locker.
"Harry, yours?" I said shutting mine.
"Louis, hey, listen, I gotta run. I have science class. See ya around!" He called, catching up with his group of friends, sending a wave over his shoulder. I feebly waved back, feeling myself blushing. No! I scolded myself, You can't like him. He's obviously not gay, and you won't have a chance with him. You're here not to get teased or bullied. If you start liking him, it'll show through and he'll just bully you. Stop liking him. I thought grumpily as I looked for classroom 2.
I made my way in and sat down in the front row, right in the middle. "Hey, Harry!" I heard a familiar voice say, I turned around and saw Lindsey come and sit by me.
"Er - hi, Lindsey," I said awkwardly. The bell rang.
"Hello, everyone. To start off this year, we're going to go around and introduce ourselves, and say our favorite subject."
I racked my brain, I guess I liked English for my subject. I spaced out for a bit, and then I heard Lindsey say, "My name is Lindsey, and my favorite subject is math." I groaned slightly, how could anyone's favorite subject be math?
"I'm Harry, and my favorite subject is English." Everyone started whispering, I guess they didn't recognize me.
I spaced out again, and began doodling in my notebook. I realized, I was doodling Louis's name. I quickly ripped out the page and threw it away, crumpling it up and ripping it so that it wasn't legible anymore. No one could know.
The rest of class was just him introducing us to what this class will be like and all that crap. I didn't really pay attention. Pretty soon, the bell rang and everyone filed out. I checked my schedule, next I have English. I'm in the advanced English, though. I wasn't sure why. I shrugged it off.
I went in and took a seat by the window, in the very back. I liked sitting by the window during class. It relaxes me to see the outside. I heard a lot of laughing, and some chairs getting shoved. I turned my attention to the door, there was Louis and his clique. What?! He's in this class?! But this is the Sophomore class?! Oh gosh, it never even occurred to me that he might be older! I quickly looked down at my hands, forcing myself not to look at him. "Oh hey, Harry!" I heard him shout, I turned his way and gave him a small wave, looking back out the window. He went back to his friends.
They all filled in the back tables, and Louis was far away from me. I felt myself get a little sad, and forced myself to say that it was for the best. Soon, the rest of the class came in and chose a seat, no one sat next to me, which I was fine with.
"Okay, I see you're sitting with your friends, all of you. And I'm sorry, but a rule in this class is that we always have a seating chart. I'm sorry, but that's how it works." She gave a slight smile to the class. I thought I might like this teacher. The class groaned, they didn't like her.
Everyone gathered their bags and went to look at the seating chart. I was sitting by Louis, I was sitting by the window and we were in the back of the class. Oh great, I thought, I'll end up liking him. This is gonna be a long year. I thought begrudgingly.
"Hey, we sit by each other." Louis said, flashing a cheeky grin. I forced myself not to blush and nodded.
"So, you're a Junior?" He asked me, putting his stuff down at the desk next to me.
"No, I'm a Freshman. But I'm advanced in English." I explained, setting my stuff down at my original desk.
"Oh, so you must be like, really smart to be in this English class, right?" He smirked slightly. I felt precocious, what if he calls me a nerd?
"Uh, yeah, I guess." I shrugged.
"Cool, I wish I was good at English." He said sadly.
"I could tutor you." I blurted out, What?! No! You can't do that?! You'll like him then! I mentally scolded myself.
"Sure, that'd be great." He smiled from ear to ear, then he looked like he was going to say something, and the bell rang. "We'll work out details at lunch, okay?" He smirked in my direction.
I felt my ears growing hot and looked away quickly. How stupid am I?
Lunch
I went and looked for somewhere to sit, but no one seemed to want me at their table. I looked for Lindsey, but didn't see her. "Um, excuse me," I caught the teachers attention. "Do you know where Lindsey is? She has long red curly hair." I asked.
"She has a tutor during this time." He said briskly.
"Er - thanks," I said.
I found an empty lunch table and sat down. I started to eat my sandwich alone, then I heard a familiar voice. I turned and looked at the door. There was Louis and his clique, I noticed that they were probably jocks, they all had letter man jackets. "Hey," Louis said, "I'll catch up with you guys later." His tone sounded serious as he made his way to my lunch table.
"Hey, Harry, about the whole tutoring thing..." He said, sitting beside me. I nodded, telling him to continue. "I already have a tutor for English, I forgot. Me and her made a deal a while back...her name's Samantha. So, you don't have to tutor me. I'm all right." And with that, he walked away.
What?! I knew this would happen. As soon as I start to like a guy, he'd just let me down. I knew I shouldn't have offered my help. When he left, a heavy pit fell in my stomach. I didn't feel hungry anymore, I put away my sandwich and went out to the courtyard, underneath a tree. I pulled out a notebook and began sketching a simple thing, the outline of a boy, wearing a letter man jacket, with shaggy brown hair. I finished the drawing and fished out some colored pencils and began to color in his hair and letter man jacket.
"What are you drawing?" I heard Lindsey say above me.
"Lindsey! Er - uh, nothing. What are you doing here?" I fumbled to hide my notebook.
"Well, I finished my tutoring session and came to lunch, and saw you here, concentrating on this drawing. May I see?" She held out her hand.
"Er - sorry, no," I said, hugging it closer to my chest.
"Come on, it's not that big of a deal, is it?" She sat down beside me, I made sure it was hidden. Then, the bell rang. Phew, thank god, saved by the bell.
"Uh, yeah, it is, sorry. I gotta get to class!" I hurried off as fast as I could.
Then, I saw my next class was advanced art. What's with all these advanced classes I'm getting into? Maybe my mom knows. I went to the art classroom and took a seat in the back, near the window again. Lindsey walked in and sat down in front of me. "Hey, long time no see." There was a slight coldness in her voice.
"Er - hi," I said awkwardly. The rest of the class filled up, and the bell rang. Our teacher - Mrs. Gonzalez - began to introduce herself and all that stuff. I haven't even had a real class today, they've all just been introducing classes.
The door swung open, "Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Gonzalez." Louis's sweet voice filled the air, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
"I'll let you off with a warning today, Mr. Tomlinson. Go take a seat next to our new student, Harry." She pointed at me. I gulped. Seeing him put a lump in my throat.
He gladly threw his backpack down and sat down by me, not giving me a second glance. I was disappointed. Then, I realized, I haven't been doing too good of a job pretending to be straight...I mean, I'm blushing around him all the time, I offered to tutor him without a second thought...I don't even know. He probably thinks I'm gay and that I have a crush on him or something. I ruined everything. What if he spreads rumors about me? God, I'm so stupid. Well, from now on...I'm not even gonna talk to him, mention him to anyone, or do anything around him. Other than the fact that I have two classes with him already...well crap.
After school
"Harry! Wait up," Lindsey called as I was walking to my bus.
I turned around, "What's up?"
"Look, I know you probably don't like me or that I annoy you or something but...do you wanna come over or something?" She said sheepishly. I really hoped she didn't like me.
But, with me being stupid, I said, "Sure. I'll tell my mum," then texted my mum telling her that I was going to a friends house, and that her name was Lindsey. She's now a lot cooler with me hanging alone with girls, now that I've come out to her.
"Yeah, she said I could." I said, she giggled and cheered. Then, we got on the bus.
I sat by her, and we talked for a bit, I found out her last name is Samuels and she found out my last name was Styles. Then, she pulled me up. "This is my stop," she told me.
"Oh, right," I said, standing up and following her.
I entered her house, "You have a lovely house." I told her.
"Thank you. Mum! Mum, I brought a friend home!" Then, I froze. What would her mum think if she brought home a boy from school?
"Oh, wonderful. I can't wait to meet them," her mum entered from the stairs. "Oh! And who's this charming young fellow?" She said.
"Mum, this is Harry. He's new." She said.
"It's wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Samuels, your home is lovely." I told her, shaking her hand firmly.
"Oh, stop, call me Linda! All right, you two go on and hang out, I'll bring snacks up to your room, all right, Lindsey?" She said, walking to the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure," Lindsey said, I followed her up to her room. I went into her room and sat down on her bed.
"Your room's very nice," I told her.
"Thanks," she sat down in this little plush beanbag.
"So, I actually brought you over here cause I wanted to get to know you better," uh oh. She really sounds like she likes me. I need to tell her I'm not interested.
"Er - Lindsey, look, you're a really great girl, but I think we should stay friends." I said awkwardly.
"What? Me...like y-?" Then she burst into laughter.
"Hm?" I said, confused.
"Sorry, that might've came off as rude. It's not that you're not attractive, which you are, but I don't like you like that. I'm sorry if I made it seem that way...well, it's good we're on the same page! By get to know you is, you seem very interesting and I wanna be friends...is that okay?" She said.
I sighed with relief. "Phew. Okay, yeah, we can definitely be friends." And to be honest, a friend is what I want right now.
"Er - do you have a bathroom?" I asked after a minute of silence.
"Yeah, straight down the hall and to your left." She pointed out her door.
"Thanks," I stood up and walked down the hall. After I finished using the bathroom, I washed my hands and made my way back to her room.
The scene I saw unfold when I walked back in, was my worst nightmare.
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