"Who is going to take a solo to competition this year?" Mrs Darcy dropped an overly full arm load of sheet music on her piano. Everyone was scrambling to get their music but I already knew what my piece was. I was one of my best friends solo from the pervious year. Lass from the Low Countree by John Jacob Niles. It was a beautiful song that wasn't all jolly and sunshine. Perfection.
We had just gotten our sheet music for our large choir, small choir, picked groups and duets, lastly solos. I was already sitting on the top row of the Choir risers. It now had a board on the back lip because of me. My choir teachers first year here, I scooted off the back of the risers. Jacked my hip up. Had to have an ambulance come get me from school.....so...just....uhhhh
Anyway I'm fine,I have arthritis because of it now. But it's cool I mean I'm the oldest one in my class so seams fitting. Anyway. The choir building and band building connect with a hallway with big glass windows and two doors.. Most of the time the doors are open, usually locked during "serious" lesson time. Most everyone is still rifling through music with a deep voice makes me yell. And not a cute little scream either. Like a deep from your gut primal, I.... will..... Gut! You scream.
"Jesus Lily I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Johnny had his hands in the air and genuinely looked confused and remorseful. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner and a movie tonight. If you don't already have plans.. We miss you." He did his best pouty face. Oddly, Giles hadn't said anything about weekend plans. He had been doing long night and early mornings all week for football. He probley wanted to sleep and rest.
"Sure! I'll bring a dessert and drinks ok. Just let me know what time." Beth and Anna both stared at me like they were in awe of me. "What, is wrong?" Beth pinched my cheek. I slapped her hand away.
"Who are you and what have you done with Lily. She would never have the two hottest guys in town chasing after that ass. She is too shy for that." I wasn't sure what to say. Johnny and I were clearly just friends. It didn't work, we tried. It was his choice. But we have a good connection as friends. I agreed with them on the Giles thing though.
"Johnny and I are friends and his little sister loves me . I love her too, Its just easy." I tried to just shake it off. "Giles and I are working on a school project. If it needs to be known as anything else I will let you know. I promise." The bell rang and I got my stuff and went for the door. I was ready to go home and take a bath. Giles was on the other side of the door when it opened up. I didn't expect that.
I honestly thought he would be at practice longer tonight that the rest of the week. But he looked fresh and smelled amazing. I felt it in my knees when I breathed him in. He dipped his hand behind my head and lean down for a kiss. Whatever I had previous said about our relationship was now a total lie. Strongly sealed when his large hand clamped down on an ass cheek. I got so many death stares
"Let's go home. I know for a fact Mom and Evelyn are out for at least two more hours. " He leaned down to my ear and nipped the lobe before whispering "Plenty of time to make you come." I had to cough into his chest. I got a text message and it gave me an excuse to separate for him for a moment. It was from Johnny it say 'dinners at 7, can't wait to see you' to which Giles responded.
"You want to explain that to me Lily?" Didn't really feel like I had to but I knew he was jealous. I knew I felt jealous and I wouldn't want to purposely put him through that..
"Sure. Johnny asked me to come over for dinner with his family tonight. You remember we discussed said dinner last time the three of us were together even. I was not perviously engaged so I accepted. Hence text message about time of said dinner." I'm sure my wording and tone weren't the best but I was trying at least. He moved us away from other people, back behind the building.
"You didn't think to ask me if I wanted to be with you tonight?"
"What I thought was that you have been busting your ass super hard and needed to sleep and relax tonight. " He jerked back like I had hit him. " I realized I probley should have asked you but it had been all week and not a peep about the weekend. Am I not suppose to do things with my friends ?" He stepped forward to me again but this time I stepped back. God, it was hard to fight the feelings that you know are going to make it worse. They seam to be the most powerful ones.
"Of course you can do things with your friends. But you know I don't like Jackson. I don't want you going to his house. And I would like to be informed of possible plans , especially when we have barely been together all week. " He seemed very agitated. We had been together every night. He got home late from practice, ate dinner, took a shower and we went to bed. He was asleep in less than five minutes every night.
"We will be together the rest of the weekend. I just thought that you would like to have some peace and quite after your first week of football. I didn't realize it would be a big deal." His face changed and I knew I made a mistake. I should not have said that last part. He looked at me with what I could only describe as pure disdain. I tried to reach out to him but he just pulled away.
"No it's not, just like it's not a big to not see each other the rest of the weekend either." I walked after him.
"We came in my car. I have to take you home." He didn't stop walking but pulled my keys out and tossed them at me. I wasn't expecting that and they fell through my fingers and to the ground. I had a resin black rose and a handmade charm. It was a tiny picture frame with a photo of Beetlejeuse in it. It was my favorite movie. It was a gift from my best friend from pre-k till she moved away in 6th grade.
When I saw it break my world stopped for a moment. It was like a piece of me was gone. I dropped to my knees and carefully picked up the pieces. Giles was suddenly in front of me. I was hurt. He had hurt me, not on purpose but still it was him. But I wanted him to hold me. I need him to help me feel better. But I was mad at him. He was overreacting and his temper caused this.
"Lily I.."
"No. Don't say anything. I'm angry with you, but I need you." I just fell into his chest. He squeezed me tight and we started walking to the car. He put me in the car and I sat with pieces of my childhood friendship in my hands. I thought about trying to put it back together but it didn't feel right. I would put it in my wooden chest. It held my most precious memories. When I looked up we were at my house.
"I thought it might feel better to be in your room." He got out and got my stuff. I just followed him into my house. My mother came out of the kitchen but saw the pieces in my hands. She made a noise and hugged me. She was there for me when I cried like a part of me had died. She helped me through the first trauma of my life. She let him pull me up to my room. I placed the damaged pieces in a handcherif from my grandmother's collection and put the box away.
There was a heaviness on my chest and a pressure behind my eyes. I just crawled awkwardly across my bed. I was feeling so many things, swirling like the universe inside my chest. I was upset about the key chain, guilty for making Giles mad, and frustrated with Giles for being mad. He would leave me now for sure. This was such junior high shit. But I had never had a relationship before.
His breath was on my neck first, then his fingertips at my hips and waist. Lightly I felt his damp lips move across my skin. Bubbles of emotion would pop away with his kiss. I relaxed more into his tall, warm body. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and eventually I went to sleep. I jerked awake not long after with a piercing pain in my right eye. Giles was asleep on top of me. I didn't have time to be gentle. I hulked him off me and stumbled into the bathroom.
The burning hot warm was magic to my skull. The heat and pressure relaxed my muscles and released my blood flow. Giles finally wandered in.
"In my purse in the purple pill bottle, one pill and a bottle of water please." I had basically ordered him and he just nodded and went back into my room. He came in and shut the door which effectively made it pitch black in the room. Only a small crack of light at the bottom of the door shown in. His hand were on my shoulders and I winced. It was tender most of the time,but especially when I had a headache.
"If you can just stand to let me do it. You'll feel better. I promise." He started out slow and soft. Then he added more pressure and found my knots and kinks. He even turned me around and messaged my sinus. If I wasn't already in love with him before then, I was now. Pure care for another person. He was amazing. I pressed my head to his chest, stretching my spin, the hot water spraying on my spine.
We swayed back and forth and his arms slipped up around my chest. It did feel so much better. It hurt while he was massaging me, I did my best to not let out any noise as it was for my benefit. Now the pain was fading and I could feel the benefit of his fingers. The relief moved around my shoulders and up my neck. Then I moved my head and my sinus released.
"Oh God Giles, I"m sorry." I pushed against him and tried to not get any yuck on him. But he squeezed me harder and chuckled.
"It's ok. It all washes off." He moved us closer to the water spray and grabbed my body wash. He washed off his chest and my face and made the water hotter. Glorious! I turned to the spray and let it wash over my face, effectively clearing out my sinus, this time without involving him. I felt better. A lot better actually.
"Towels?"
"Under the sink." His arms were so long that he could just lean out of the shower and pluck the towels out. I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel. He was beside me quickly and we stood pressed together until the slicing edge of my headache was gone. I pulled on a pair of underwear and flowing wide leg pajama pants with a lose v neck tee. Both black, over a black lace bra. My phone dinged and it was Johnny. He had gotten a special dessert, I just needed to bring drinks. I slipped on some flip flops.
"I"ll be home by 9:30. Wanna sleep here?" We only seemed to do anything between the legs in my bed. To be fair my parents were two stories down and slept with the t.v. blaring. At Giles house his parents room was just down a flight of stairs and they slept with the door open. Both heavy sleepers it helped them wake up with Evie in the night. Close doors only meant one thing in that house.
"You should sleep here, I'll text you if I'm coming." He dressed as I did so he kissed my forehead and left. I couldn't even begin to deal with that the way I was feeling. So I went to Johnny's house. We ate chicken strips and potato wedges. His sweet baby sister went down for the night very early and by 7:45 his mother said her goodnight. She looked very tired and warn. She seemed like she was losing her light. But when I asked about how she was feeling, everything shut down. So I moved on.
"You still wanna watch a movie?" Johnny was beside me on the couch. The room was suddenly dark.
"Honestly I'm tired. I have a bit of a headache. I really just want some quite." I half laughed. The t.v. went off and the quietness of the house began to settle into the room. It was nice and comfortable. After a few moments I laid my head back on the couch and closed my eyes. Deep breath in, slowly out.
"Are you having sex with him?" My eyes popped open and looked over at Johnny.
"What?"
"I won't ask twice"He was staring me down, angry even.
"You have no right to ask me that." I stood up but he grabbed my hand. I yanked it away. He stood up.
"You know I do." He twisted me around and pressed me into the wall. I could smell him and flashes of the past blurred my vision. I pushed off him now just as I once has embraced him. "What's so great about him? His money?" I scoffed.
"Go fuck yourself. You know why. I asked a simple question. You gave a truthful answer. It is what it is. There is nothing wrong with it. Please don't do this." I walked to the door but he put his hand against the frame. "Johnny, we agreed. This was your choice." I could feel his hot breath through my hair, fanning across my skin.
"So.. I don't get to change my mind?" I shook my head and I yanked the door open.
"No. You don't"