Summary:
Four times Spiderman was encouraged and/or interrupted with his relations with Deadpool and the one time he was not.
Warnings: contain smut (no details whatsoever, simply heard conversations and plain descriptions).
Word Count: 2400.
Enjoy ;)
—Dem
xxxx
------------------->
"Any more left?" Hawkeye asked in his headset as he shot one of the last evil space drones invading Montréal, Canada on this fine 25 of October.
"I don't think so, Cap and I shut down a dozen just now. We don't see any mo—"
"WADE!!" It screeched in their ears.
"Shit!"
Iron Man gave a questionable shrug as the static cries of Spider-man resonated inside of his bluetooth speakers built in in his suit.
The team quickly regrouped in the area surrounding the Stade Olympique (where the invasion had started earlier today). There, stood between the wall of a Starbucks and a La Source, an electronic shop, were Spider-man and one Deadpool.
"Guys? Is everything okay? Is this a code green?!" Bruce worryingly asked from his post at the jet.
After a scary moment of silence from his teammates, he asked again.
"Do we need the big guy?!" Dr. Banner inquired.
"Oh it's big alright..." said a disturbingly turned on deadpool.
Right there, in front of Captain America, Thor, Loki (he had helped, okay?), Black Widow, Hawkeye, Vision, Scarlet Witch and Iron Man were two of their newest members making out passionately against a poor innocent brick wall. At their feet were debris of alien robots who had clearly been decapitated.
Admittedly, they didn't know much about "the Spider-Man". The young vigilante had only appeared three years ago and had been part of the Avenger for only a brief two months. Appart for his love of spandex, the team knew that the hero was quite young. Enough to be Stark's and Roger's son, Peter. But that was impossible since this latter was too perfect for following in his dads footsteps. That and he was currently in school, having a very important exam on advanced mathematics.
When the two lovebirds finally noticed that they were being stared at, they rapidly separated.
One quick glance from the spider boy to the ex-mercenary's "bathing suit area" encouraged the latter to cover his not so secret arousal.
"Guys?! What's going on?!?" Bruce repeated.
Silence followed.
That is, until one Iron Man whistled suggestively.
"What happened, Doctor Banner, is that the Avengers literally cockblocked dear little Spidey before he was going to get it," he commented, amused by the situation.
When they made their way back to their jet, Tony Stark whispered a "go get it, tiger".
Spidey gulped. Happy that his identity was unknown.
Especially if Deadpool was concerned.
🕷
They were having one hell of a meeting. It was long, boring and totally unnecessary.
It had started one Sunday morning around 9AM. At two in the afternoon, they decided that a break was crucial if they wanted to survive the rest of the day.
As the super-husbands came back from getting their well deserved lunch, our dear pair of red wearing super-suits decided to partake in some dessert.
In the hallway.
Dessert in the hallway, I mean.
Pressed against the wall, the human radioactive spider let the ex-mercenary's tongue explore his mouth.
Hands were grabbing his tights, hard enough to leave a trace behind.
Theirs masks were barely lifted, just high enough to let the end of their nose visible.
His arms around Deadpool, the young Spider pressed their hips together harder.
"We should probably head up to your room now, baby-boy," he whispered against his lover's neck as he began leaving kisses on the surface.
"No times," Spiderman moaned. "Bathroom."
Theirs lips met again, however, none of them made any attempt to move somewhere else or stop their session.
"Well, it's true what they say," said a new voice in the hallway. "There is someone for everyone."
Tony Stark's voice surprised the couple, encouraging them to pull apart quickly.
He left a playful tap on Deadpool's shoulder, making this latter jump in shock before he suddenly remembered that the Tin Can didn't know who was under the spider suit.
[A really sexy baby boy. That's what's under it.]
{A really, really, really sexy baby boy. Still can't believe he wants anything to do with our ugly mug though.}
[I know right?! Like? WTF my dudes? Have you seen us?]
{We're as fugly as that scarecrow in that Supernatural episode— if not worse!}
"Shut up," Deadpool replied to his voices, ignoring Captain America's questioning look.
"The meeting will be starting back in about fifteen minutes. Be there in time," America's ass explained.
"And use protection. We don't need more of you two around here," Tony winked at Spidey, making this last one blush hard and too shock to reply.
"Will do, Cap'tains my captains!" Wade told them as he saluted the married couple "army style".
🕷
"Hey Tony? Where's your electro-magnet microscope? I can't find it," Bruce asked his science colleague.
"Pepper made me clean up last weekend," Stark told him as he bit into a sandwich with one hand and continued to play with the left boot of his Iron Man's suit in his other. "Try the pantry."
With a nod, Dr. Banner made his way to the previously mentioned pantry.
He took his key, unlocked the door and entered the room.
Once he turned on the light, he looked in every box, stared at every shelf, emptied every bag before putting everything back where it belong.
No microscope.
"It's not there!" He told Tony once he looked everywhere.
Iron man seemed quite surprised by that fact. He abandoned his half eaten sandwich, got up (the iron leg still in his hand) and suddenly remembered where it was.
"Crap. Pete borrowed it for his school project..." He explained. "It's probably in his room. Give me a sec, I'll give him a call. FRI—"
"No, Tony! No! It's okay," Bruce looked amused. "The kid need it more than I do. I'll just go and get mine upstair. I think I left it in the main living room?"
With that he left the room, leaving Stark with his thoughts, his half-eaten ham sandwich and a broken repulser from his left Iron Man suit.
With a sigh, Stark went back to work.
Meanwhile, Bruce made his way to the 87's floor.
He got out of the elevator and turned right. Each step however made him regret ever getting out of the lab.
"Wade. Wade. Wade. OH MY GOD—WADE. WADE!" Came the loud moans from the shared living room. "HARDER! WADE! WADE! THERE! THERE! WADE. WADE. WAAAAAADE."
And with that, Bruce decided that his electro sensitive magnetic microscope? He didn't really need it. He could work without it.
🕷
"Guys. This is an intervention," Black Widow started. "As much as we love how you two are getting along, this—" she pointed to the floor. "Is an absolute lack of respect. It's disgusting."
While Spiderman was utterly embarrassed, Deadpool, him, took this exact moment to be the smart ass he is.
"Blame Stark," he shrugged. "He's the one who told us to use protection."
Clint contained his laugh when he received Steve's dark stare.
"It's the twelve ones we've found this week." Natasha continued. "Seriously."
Wade wrapped his arm around Spidey's shoulder, encouraging the latter to cuddle him. This earned him a slap on the chest by his boyfriend and one unsaid threat.
"What Black Widow is trying to say is that we're glad that you two are being careful," Capitain America explained in his dad voice. "But would you please, clean up after yourself? This is a common space. We're literally ten sharing this floor. We are simply asking you not to litter."
"Take example on Captain America," Hawkeye joked.
Silence.
"Clint..." Steve embarrassedly began. "Tony and I are married..."
"Yeah, so? Don't be silly, wrap your willy!" the archer added.
"... We don't use protection...?" the symbol of these United States admitted with a dark blush.
More silence.
"Oh."
"Clint, seriously. We're not here to talk about their sexual life, we're here to talk about the fuck bunnies over there," Natasha cut it.
"Hey!" Spidey protested. "We don't fuck that often!"
"Language!" Steve butted in.
"Twelve. We found twelve this week. And that was in public places. I don't want to know how your bedroom looks like."
Wade laughed out loud, not able to contain his amusement.
"Don't!" The spider dude shot in anxiety.
"Trust me, I wouldn't bring a black light a hundred feet from there," Deadpool continued to laugh.
At this exact moment, Iron Man entered the room. When he noticed all his super colleagues surrounding the couch, he walked to them only to notice who was sitting on it.
"Tony!" Clint waved happily. "I'm so glad that you're here! Now, would you, please, tell me... Is it true?!"
Steve groaned in embarrassment as his husband came closer.
"About what?"
"You know...?" He whistle the end of his thoughts.
"No I don't, Legolas, what," Tony said, annoyed that he didn't understand.
" Do you really not used protection when you're having relation? Do you really wish to get STDs when you get the D?"
As Stark blushed, Spiderman decided that he had had enough.
"OKAY! We get it! We'll be more careful! We'll keep it in the bedroom!" He explained quickly before he left the room rapidly.
Amused by their young member's reaction, Tony laughed.
After the departure of his lover, Deadpool got up, bowed to the other Avengers before going after his boyfriend.
"Cumming honey-bun!" He shouted in the hallway.
With those words, Clint reported his attention on the married couple.
"No but seriously."
"We're married!" Steve tried to justify himself.
"So is Laura and I! Look what happened when we did not put one down before we went to town!" Hawkeye replied, obviously talking about his children.
"Speaking of offsprings," Tony began. "Scrabble tonight? You, me, Petey?"
Capitain America was quick to answer with an overly happy smile.
🕷
"Spidey! Petey! Peter!!" Came the muffled voice of Deadpool through the closed door of his bedroom.
"Wade!" His boyfriend exclaimed when he released his mouth. "Could you please yell my name any louder so that anyone can know who I am?!"
His sarcasm was evident, but Deadpool being Deadpool thought it would be one excellent moment to be a dick.
"OOOOOOH PETEY!!!" He moaned even louder.
They were in Peter's room.
The team were watching a movie downstairs and the couple thought it would be a perfect time for some alone time.
"Now it's my turn," Wade told him, before he pushed his boyfriend of his bed.
Since all the Avengers were on their floor, the couple had decided to head up to the Rogers-Stark private floor where one Peter Benjamin Parker Rogers-Stark's bedroom was.
When they had joined the Avengers three years ago, Tony had insisted on giving both of them their own private room on the 87's floor. When Spiderman told him that if he ever spent the night at the Tower he would simply crash in Wade's room, the room was left empty. Everyone understood that Spidey was young and so it must meant that he still lived with his parents and that those latter didn't know about his secret life.
So when movie night came, Spidey told everyone that he couldn't stay since he had some studying to do and DP explained that he was tired and that he would simply go to bed.
Strangely enough, nobody thought twice about it.
When Peter refused the invitation because he had to study, not one Avengers thought is was weird that a nineteen years old kid would want to study physics on a Friday evening at 9pm.
Seeing as Halloween was coming fast, the team entered a horror movies marathon.
After the second one (The Conjuring), Steve and Tony announced that they would be heading up to bed.
Of course, that was just an excused.
The second they stepped into the elevator, their lips met in hunger.
Without caring much about their environment, they left the elevator, Tony in Steve's strong arms, and made their ways to their bedroom.
Not once they looked at the floor where they would have noticed the abandoned clothing.
As they arrived to their bedroom, lips still locked together, they suddenly heard something.
Something that made them stop any movement.
"WADE! WADE! WADE!!" they heard Spiderman's voice come from... From Peter's room? "HARDER! I'M SO CLOSE! WADE!!! WADE!!!"
The super-husbands exchanged a look filled with unanswered questions.
"PETE! PETE!! FUCK! SO TIGHT BABY BOY!! PETER!!!" Deadpool's voice came through the door.
"WADE! THERE! JUST THERE!"
"FUCK PETE!! SPIDEY!! OH YES!!"
Now officially worried for their son's safety (was he having threesomes with Deadpool and Spiderman?), they forced the door open.
What they found was everything they wished it wasn't.
There.
Just there, in the bed, was their naked son with a naked Wade Wilson.
This latter had clearly his dick somewhere that horrified the two parents.
"DADS!!!" Peter shouted in terror when he noticed the presence of his fathers.
"yeah that's it, baby boy, be good for Daddy..." Nude Deadpool (who looked like a naked mole rat? Uh. Mental image not needed) moaned.
Obviously distracted by the trusts of his boyfriend's hips, he didn't realize what was happening until Wade shouted "Spidey" when he came.
Concerned by the silence of his boyfriend, the older man opened his eyes. He followed Peter's glance to the door where—
Oh. Fuck.
[welp. We're dead.]
{Omg. Look at Stark... He's fucking pissed.}
[They're going to kill us.]
"Hey... Misters Rogers-Stark?" Wade worryingly greeted.
"Deadpool. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Our. Son." Tony warned him, his tone leaving no place for funny business.
Deciding that listening to his boyfriend's dad was a really good idea if he wanted to continue breathing, Wade removed himself from Peter.
The emptiness brought this latter back from wherever he was.
"Wade?" He called.
"Hey, baby-boy..." He responded.
"We're fucked, aren't we?" Peter stated the obvious.
A smirk grew on Wade's lips.
"Well... I don't know about me, but you have."
This ungodly comment made the naked spider laugh.
"Could you please pass me my shirt, sweetheart?" He asked his boyfriend.
"No cuddles?" Wade frowned.
Peter, now unamused, simply pointed to the fuming Tony Stark and the traumatized Steve Rogers who were still standing in the doorway.
"My shirt. Please."
Nevertheless, the conversation that followed was one for the books.
It was weeks later that Tony realized something.
If Peter was Spiderman, that meant that all of times he surprised him and Deadpool in compromising positions...
"PETER BENJAMIN PARKER ROGERS-STARK!! YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!"
If the intervention they had had about their "littering" hadn't worked, his dad's anger definitely made them more careful in the future.