Chapter 32: A Closer Bond
I tossed and turned all night, not able to get comfortable in the bed. As comfortable as it usually is, I couldn't get myself in a good position to try and fall asleep. Chase was already knocked out cold in the hammock he built while I struggled for the past hour or so. It felt like forever until I was finally tucked in rightly, dozing off to sleep finally. That was, until an alarm went off, blaring a loud siren noise and bright flashing lights throughout the room, causing Chase and I to startle, us both sitting up from our sleeping position.
Chase got himself untangled from the mess of the hammock, jumping to his feet and reaching for his armor on the near side of him.
I blinked, confused. What was happening exactly?
Chase carefully clasped himself into his armor, sleep deprived and tired as he went to go grab his sword.
"What's happening?" I asked him over the loud blaring siren.
"The castle's been breeched!" Chase shouted. "I have to go quickly! You need to stay here. The siren will turn off shortly. I must go now. If anyone comes to my room and you don't know them, or even if you do, hide!"
"Okay!" I said with a quick nod. Chase ran to the door, opening it. "WAIT!" He turned back to me, eagerly knowing he had to go. "Please, be safe, alright?"
Chase grinned. "As you wish."
The door was slammed behind him. He was right. It wasn't long before the loud sirens went off along with flashing red lights. However, Chase was taking awhile. For a moment I began to worry. There was no telling if he was dead or alive. In that stricken moment, I began to panic, pacing the floor back and forth with the worst thoughts entering my mind of the worst case scenario. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something horrible happened to him. It was probably at least a couple of hours before the door opened, Chase sluggishly entering the bedroom with his helmet under his arm.
I gasped, my feet planted where I stood, staring at the sight of him. He was covered in scorch marks and blood, hopefully that wasn't his.
"Chase!" My feet bolted up to him, taking him by the collar of his armor as I examined the marks on his face. He blinked slowly, his tired eyes meeting mine. "Let's get you out of this armor, alright?" With a sigh, he didn't complain when I began to retract his chest piece from his body.
I helped him take a seat on the bed, pulling off his armor as his exhausted body was too tired to do anything else.
"You really didn't have to help," said Chase.
"Oh please, I wanted to." I said before helping him remove the rest. I noticed his back, seeing a big bruise near his shoulder blade along with harsh burn lines underneath his shirt that wasn't exactly white anymore. He was bloody and scorched. "You're hurt. . ."
"Ah, it's not too bad," said Chase casually before I pressed a hand on it, causing him to tense and jerk away. "Okay, maybe it is. But I'll be fine. Nothing some proper sleep won't fix."
"Chase, let me help you." I said before getting up to put the rest of his armor away on the mannequin before reaching to get a wet rag and some alcohol.
"No, no need." Chase tried to stop me, but I wasn't listening. I was already rummaging through the bathroom sink, finding a bucket and a couple of rags. I couldn't find any alcohol, until I remembered we still had the wine Chase had brought into the room. I grabbed it while the water rose in the bucket before carrying everything over to the bedroom where Chase was laying down on the bed, heavily breathing as his wounds looked swollen and pulsating.
"Chase?" I said above a whisper. A groan escaped his lips as he found it difficult to breathe. For the first time, he scared me. He wasn't looking okay, and I started to worry. "How bad was it?"
"The jubjub bird. . . she brought friends. . ." He was still a bit shaken, out of breath. I dipped the cloth in the water as I listened. "They raided the castle. Burning and taking its victims. We lost two guards today. I was barely lucky to survive. She was so close. . . I thought my skin was going to melt off."
"That's terrible," I whispered, a slight shake of my head before I pressed the wet rag against his bare chest over one of the wounds. He hissed, trying to pull me off of him. "I'm sorry! I know it hurts. But I have to clean them. If I don't it'll scar."
He took a deep breath. "Izzy, it hurts." I looked up at him. I could see the exhaustion in his face. His face scrunched up when I used the rag and tried to clean up as much blood as I could. Once the wound was clean enough, I used a clean rag and dipped it into the wine.
"Take a deep breath, okay?" I said quietly. He did. "One, two, three." I bit my lip, my eyes darting up toward him where his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion waiting for it. "Four." I pressed the rag onto his wound where he bit his tongue, wrenching his cries to suppress the urge to fight me off of him where it hurt. "I'm so sorry, Chase. You have some deep wounds."
"I don't want to do this anymore," said Chase where he began to try and get up. I couldn't risk it. I put my hands on his biceps and shoved him back down on the bed where I was slightly on top of him. Our eyes met, the blush in his face turning bright pink where I felt my face burning scarlet. I realized how awkward that actually was and removed myself from him quickly.
"Things just got steamy in this chapter," I heard the female narrator say quietly.
"Shh! You're ruining it." the male narrator said over her, obviously trying to watch it like his favorite program came on. It's the only program for them, well, because they're the narrators.
"S-sorry." I said before coughing to regain my composure. "But you're too injured! Your wounds will get infected if we don't take care of them now. Luckily, the other ones aren't as bad. But they'll still need to be cleaned, okay? Just. . . let me take care of you this once. I owe you that much."
"Why do you think that?" said Chase before relaxing again, where I sunk the wet rag back into the water to continue cleaning the blood off of him.
"You've saved me multiple occasions," I said, still feeling the heat on my cheeks as I dabbed at his stomach with the rag. "You've done so much for me. This is the least I could do for you. Besides, it's not like you do any better with yourself. Just taking a shower and sleeping it off isn't going to heal all your wounds, you know. We need to take care of them properly."
"Then I guess it's a good thing you're here after all," said Chase but grunted quickly when I pressed a little harder onto his wound with the rag, feeling my face flush once again. Thankfully my hair covered the color in my face.
"Sorry," I whispered quickly, returning the rag back to the bucket and cleaning it off. "You can turn around now. Let me get your back."
He turned over slowly where his back faced me as he was directed at the wall. I began with the cleaning off his wounds. Dried blood was smooshed into the back of his shoulders and along the spine. There were a few burns that I've seen along the side of his shoulder blades and the lower parts of his back. I felt so bad for him. He goes through all of this multiple times a week just to get scorched or bruised, but this time he came back badly wounded. It hurt me to see him like this.
"Do you like what you do?" I asked him, putting the rag to his burns. He tensed up, the muscles in his back clenching, as he groaned in pain.
"Well, since I was brought in by the Queen, she raised me this way. I can only —"
"But do you like your job?" I asked him, cleaning up the remaining blood.
"Well, kind of. It can be fun." Chase said simply. "Not with the getting hurt all the time and waking up at excruciating hours during the night to fight whoever is attacking my home. But it's not all bad. I like being a hero. It makes me proud, you know? Saving people, doing the right thing, making — ah!"
"Sorry, continue." I said when I pressurized on one of his burns.
"Making a difference."
I smiled while cleaning the rest of him up. "That's sweet of you, Chase." I sat the rag in the water, cleaning it off one more time before squeezing the access out and returning it back to his spine, carefully swiping it down the curvature of his muscles. He was toned and beautiful. His skin was like a milky white, but not as pale as mine. There was a cute little brown dot near his pelvis line, where I casually booped it out of sheer fun before carefully wiping the rag back up his spine to meet his neckline.
Chase relaxed. "That feels nice." So I did it again. I went down, then went right back up. I could feel the heat in my face returning before stopping, putting the rag in the bucket and picking everything up to put them away.
I dumped out the bloody water in the sink, leaving the rags in the bucket before putting it back under the sink cabinet. I put the top back on the wine bottle before shoving it under the cabinet as well. I left the bathroom where Chase was sitting up in the bed, smiling at me.
"What're you grinning about?" I asked.
"Nothing," said Chase. "Just thank you. You didn't have to do that."
"I know." I said. "I've been worried about you. You've been gone for hours, and I didn't know if you were dead or alive. I couldn't bear it if I lost you too. I'm just. . . really grateful that you're okay. I wouldn't know what I'd do without you."
"Oh don't think such thoughts," said Chase waving it off quickly, "come here." He patted a spot on the bed next to him, beckoning me over to sit next to him on the fitted sheets.
"There's blood on your blankets," I noted, seeing how much blood truly was on the bed. Chase looked down, slightly embarrassed, before getting up himself and tugging off the comforter and sheets. Chase went over and took down his makeshift hammock and unfolded the blankets, carefully sprawling it out over his bed.
"Now, come sit with me." Chase said before tossing himself on the bed and patted the same spot for me to come sit beside him. Reluctantly, I stepped toward his bed and got up, getting comfortable beside him while crossing my legs underneath me.
"Aren't you tired?" I asked.
"Eh, fighting got it out of me." He shrugged. Honestly, I was feeling the same way. Except that was from my sheer panicking over him, worried to death from fear of the unknown. But he didn't need to know that. "Are you tired?"
"Umm not really." I said with a little shake of my head, not even facing him.
"Well, then you wanna talk?" Chase said with a shrug. He was so casual beside me, acting as if nothing had happened earlier. His wounds weren't even wrapped. They didn't need to be. They had to breathe. But the fact that he was half naked in front of me with his bare chest so blatantly out in the open making the room feel a bit more warm in here. Either that, or it was just me.
"What would you like to talk about?" I asked, looking at the wall to find it more interesting so I wouldn't be staring directly at his beautiful chest.
"What are you passionate about?" He asked me. I found it so bizarre. I flipped my head to stare at him dead in the eyes, his chest ignored, as I was confused by his question.
"What am I passionate about?" I repeated his question. He nodded. I thought for a moment. I was never asked such a question like that before. It was difficult to put something together myself for an answer. "I'm. . . Not entirely sure myself. I've never thought about my passions or desires. If anything I'd say exploring is one of my passions, but I don't feel like it counts. I guess, right now, I really want to be passionate about finding my happiness and getting better. You know, to find out what I can do for myself and to grow and become a better person. Less selfish, less clingy, less angry and bitter and just be. . . happier."
"I think that's a great goal." Chase said quietly beside me. "But you know, a great friend helps the journey a lot easier for moral support and guidance. You don't have to do it all by yourself, especially if you don't want to. Some amazingly successful people were alone, but they weren't happy by themselves. Loneliness. . . it's harmful. It shaped my personality a lot."
"Did you have friends?" I asked him.
"Not anyone close, no." Chase said. "People in my life usually come and go. No one ever sticks around. I've had friends, but not like a real friend. Honestly, I think you're the closest thing I've had to a real friend. I. . . I really appreciate you and our friendship. I like your company."
I turned to him, a smile playing at my lips. "Me too. You're a true friend. You're like one of those rare gemstones out of a thousand diamonds. They're so common nowadays, and there's fake ones everywhere, but you're like. . . you're like a sapphire."
"A sapphire?" Chase chuckled. "That's funny. When I was little, before my parents abandoned me, my dad used to call me his little starlight."
My smile dropped, my eyes weltering. "My dad called me his starlight too. It was because he always reminded me of how blue my eyes were like sapphires. I didn't understand how it correlated, but that's crazy, isn't it?"
"That is," he agreed. "Small world, huh? Guess that makes us two starlights, doesn't it?"
"Do you," I was almost afraid to ask. "Do you remember your parents?"
"A little." Chase shrugged. I didn't realize how close we were sitting. Our shoulders were touching as we sat together, our arms practically glued side by side. It was comforting. "I remember what they look like, but every time I try to picture their faces now, all I can hear are their voices instead with blurry images of what they used to look like. I remember how my dad was very authoritative over me, and how I did everything to respect him and live up to him. I loved him. I just wanted to make him proud of me. He was so hard to please. . . I guess that's why it makes me such a people pleaser. My mom was just like him. I still don't get why they left me though."
"I'm sorry, Chase," I said, suddenly taking my hand in his without thinking to comfort him.
"Nah, don't sweat it, I don't even remember it." Chase said, but the squeeze of his hand in mine proved otherwise. "However, it still hurts sometimes. I try not to think about it."
"If you ever want to talk about it, I'll always listen." I said returning his hand with a squeeze of reassurance. "Not even to give advice if you don't want me to. But I'll always listen if you ever need to vent. And that can range from anything else too. I'll always listen."
"Thank you." Chase said, a smile at his lips. "And uh, same goes for you, ya know."
"Thank you." I smiled back.
"So," he began, "what did you like most about Alistair?" When he said that I felt my face flush, but then I really got to thinking. What did I like most about him? Honestly, it was hard to find a single reason why I actually liked him the way that I did. I just. . . I liked him.
"I don't know," I said softly, making Chase slightly confused. "I mean, I've always kinda liked him. He's my best friend. There was no one that I would rather be with than him. Everything just kinda made sense. We connected. He helped me and made things feel easier. And he was great to play chess with. I don't know what I liked most about him, I liked everything about him. It just felt real and natural. I'm not going to lie, I got really upset when I found out he was dating Bunny. But then again at the same time, I still just wanted some room for me, you know?
I think what hurt the most about that. . . well, that I wouldn't be in the picture anymore. Sure, I probably felt a little jealous. I probably shouldn't have acted the way that I had. But, I just didn't want our friendship to be ruined by a relationship. And it makes me think. What if I was the one in the relationship with him? What would Bunny have done? Maybe. . . friendships shouldn't be meddled with stronger relationships like that. Maybe. . . Some things should only go so far before it does go too far. Should friends just stay friends?"
"Well, I guess it depends on both parties." Chase shrugged. "If both persons participate in the same thing with the same feelings, then it's okay to go for it. However, once you go in, sometimes friendships can't be the same after that. But, two best friends? It sounds almost perfect. Best friends to lovers, it's romantic and good to be thinking about. Sometimes it works out wonderfully. Loving someone and having that partnership can be magical, and sometimes, it might not. But that just depends on the person. Think about it this way: do you think you could handle living with that one person, loving them unconditionally, for the rest of your entire life? That includes dealing with their personality, their antics, the things that bug them the most and the things that tick you off. Could you handle that? No, not just tolerate it, but work through it together as a team?"
"I. . . I don't know." I said with a shake of my head, without ever having thought of that. I was thinking of the opposite situation. Could Alistair deal with me the way that I am? "Personally, I'm probably a lot to handle myself. What if he thinks the same about me? What if I'm the one that's too much?"
"Look, if you think that you're too much to handle, what does that say about yourself?" Chase asked.
"I mean, I can be, right?" I said quickly. "I have a short temper and I can be so impatient and quick to judge. I'm rude and I'm too emotional and I become clingy and attached to people easily who show the slightest bit of interest in me. I'm horribly naive and I'm just so immature and wild and impulsive and —"
"Izzy," said Chase simply, shutting me up. "We all have our flaws. I'm far from perfect too. We all are. It doesn't mean we're any less of who we are. We just have our little quirks. We have good and bad qualities just like everyone else. I mean, guess what? I'm awful too. I'm horribly tough on myself. I'm a people pleaser. I try my hardest to make sure everyone around me is happy and perfect, that I forget about myself. I'm also terrible with being a perfectionist. I try so hard to be perfect and simple and do as I'm told, because I'm too afraid to stand up for myself and do the right thing on my own accord. Honestly, I'm the worst at being myself. I can be a stick in the mud. But guess what? I'm also honest, loyal, kind-hearted, and faithful to those who trust and are genuine to me. You have your good qualities too. You're an amazing person because you stick up for what you believe in. You're honest, and kind, and gentle with a warm spirit. You're full of laughter and fun. You're. . . you're so much more than you expect of yourself, Iz. And you don't even see it."
"You really think so?" I asked him. Chase stretched his arms, his bicep casually going around my shoulders making me blush ever so slightly.
"Yeah, you are pretty great, Iz." Chase said with a nod. "You just don't see yourself the way everyone else does."
"I don't think I want to," I said in thought, shaking my head before leaning back on his arm, thinking that I might as well get comfortable as I stared into the abyss of the wall. I was starting to get a little drowsy. But what could I expect, we've been awake for hours. It could be getting close to sunrise.
"Is that because of everyone's beliefs of your mother?" Chase asked.
"Kinda, yeah," I said, shutting my eyes. "Also the fact that I just don't think that I'm honestly that great of a person. Like you've done so many good things for Wonderland, you're loved and adored by everyone. You're practically a hero. I'm a disgrace to my own land. Nobody likes me."
"That's not true," said Chase shifting over beside me, casually leaning over me with his head on top of mine. "I like you." My eyes shot open, staring straight ahead, my face turning beet red. I know he probably didn't mean it the way I interpreted it, but I couldn't help but blush at the thought. I'm getting way too ahead of myself.
"I. . . thank you, Chase." I didn't know what else to say as I bit my lower lip anxiously, feeling my heart doing flips inside my chest as if it was about to leap out of my throat.
"Don't mention it." Chase said with a shrug. "You're my friend. You're the closest person I've got right now. If I didn't like you I'd be like "get out! I need space! Ughh!"" We both laughed before I relaxed against him. I looked down, seeing my hand was still very much in his. I had completely forgotten. He didn't even seem to notice either. It was like it was nothing but just a little thing shared between friends, and nothing more. That would just be weird. Me? Him? Having feelings for each other? The thought would make me laugh.
I've had a crush on Alistair for the longest time. Why would I suddenly stop and start liking Chase just because I'm hanging out with him more and getting to know him more each and every day? Psh. Ridiculous.
Hi! Just a reminder to don't forget to vote! Thank you for all your love and support! ❤️