Chapter Twenty Three
"Devil Clad In A Red Ball Gown"
Daniel Rouge Gustilyo's Point of View
And so the show started.
I didn't put on a smile and everyone was silent when the curtains opened. Abeline motioned me to smile but I didn't give her my smile. Instead, I portrayed my own real emotion. It was an apathetic response to this show and tell play they had put me into. Theo held my hand and I just let him walk me down the stairs.
Clad in red ball gown that was embossed in golden glitters I strut my way down. Not even flinching, just plain looking at the foreheads of people anticipating for me.
Everyone was silent.
Some even gasped when they saw Daniel Rouge walking down the stairs. I even heard them whispering na; bakit wala akong ka-emo-emosyon? lamay ba 'tong kaarawan ko? They didn't have to whisper since it's useless, I can hear them murmur anyways.
Nang nakababa na ay agad na nagchange ang music then Theo danced with me as what we practiced. I was nervous — he wasn't. He's used to this anyway.
I didn't give him even a quick glance for I don't want want to make myself hurt even more. Because apparently something's off with him. But still, I kept my cool dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang magagawa ko out of frustration and anger.
The whole dance bored me out na nagmamadali na akong matapos ito. We were just dancing, and everyone was just looking at me. I even saw Ringo with Cedric and Romeo with Dylan and that random guy na stoic din ang pagmumukha, I forgot to ask for his name but I think his name was Drake? Nang tumama ang tingin naming dalawa ni Eric, 'di ito nagdalawang-isip na ngumiti sa akin.
I nod at them — at him.
We danced until the music stopped and I went back to my seat in front of everyone. Tinabihan naman ako ni Theo at nagsimula nang magsalita ang host. I didn't even listen to him instead, I just looked at the oblivion.
Wala akong paki-alam sa mundo ko. Not even minding that Theo's beside me holding my hand. I don't care.
I don't care at all.
I just want this to end.
I'm drowning I can feel myself drowning because of despair.
I just want to get this over and done with. I know I feel like something bad is going to happen. I know Theo is not being real to me. He's lying. I can feel it. Alam ko na para akong tanga dahil nakasuot ako ng gown sa harap ng mga taong mapanghusga. Alam ko sa sarili ko na mukha akong gaga!
Napalunok ako dahil alam kong parang tutulo na naman ang mga luha ko.
But still I managed to control them.
And I was so good at it.
...
The program went on and suddenly umalis nalang si Theo at iniwan ako. Not even excusing himself.
He had an urgent call and I got disappointed in him... again.
There he go again...
The 18 roses started then. First, it was Cedric who took my hand and gave me a rose, then we danced.
He just smiled at me, at naiilang ako kasi nakatingin lang sa amin si Ringo. Ringo wasn't jealous, how would he even be jealous of me? Hindi naman ako mang-aagaw and I am not interested with his boyfriend. Cedric sure is very handsome but I know my place. I am not a home wrecker. Well maybe not for now.
I asked Cedric whilst dancing, "How can you say you love someone?" Tanong ko nalang sa kaniya.
He looked at me in the eyes then diverted his attention to Ringo who was happily watching us. "It's when even though you two are far away. You can still hear each other's heartbeats." Napangiwi naman ako sa sinabi nito. He must had realised how cringe-y it was that he asked me, "What?" while chuckling.
"Wala." Sagot ko naman na napapa-iling.
Eww.
Pagkatapos naman ay si Dylan naman ang sumunod. He just kept on asking me random questions at 'di ko ito sinagot until he stopped asking me at natapos nalang ang sayaw. I danced with random boys then, then the next thing I knew I was dancing with Hans.
"Hey." Ani nito sa akin. "Gustilyos don't frown."
"I am not." Maktol ko naman rito at inirapan lang siya.
"You really look like you do. But anyway, You look beautiful tonight. Kung 'di ka lang talaga mahal ni Theo—"
"Can you shut up?" I yelled at him, tumawa naman ito sa inasta ko habang sumasayaw na kami. I looked at the people around me, searching for him. But Theo is nowhere to be found. Pagkatapos ng sayaw ay sumunod naman si Eric atsaka ako hinawakan sa kamay at hinalikan ito.
"May I?" I just nod at him.
Although I find his actions often silly. I still find him very adorable because he tries his best to get my attention.
We started dancing again, at nangangalay na ang paa ko sa Prada na sapatos na'to. Ugh.
"Are you okay?" Asked Eric. His forehead creased. He must had noticed that I kept on diverting my attention to the crowd. I was side tracked often times. "Everyone was shocked to see you emotionless kanina." He added. "Any problem babe?" Tanong nito sa akin. Umiling lang ako sa kaniya.
Wala naman kasing kinalaman si Eric sa mga problema ko. I don't even want to talk about it. "Come on, tell me."
But all this guy did was to take care of me.
Napabuntong hininga ako. Maybe I need to vent this out.
"I just feel like doing this isn't right. Everyone's attention is in me. I am wearing a gown. I feel so uneasy. Theo's lost then sometimes he's found. Then I feel like he's lying to me. My real parents aren't even here."
He gave me a sympathetic look then he leaned down to kiss me on my check, it was a quick peck. Kaya nabigla ako, sinampal ko ito sa kaniyang dibdib. "Para sa'n 'yon?!" I yelled dahil nakita ng lahat.
"I just want to make you feel better. Kiss is one of them."
"You could just hug me." Ani ko sa kaniya. "Kasi I think—" nabigla na lamang ako nang yakapin nito ako.
"Whatever you're feeling tonight. Dani. It will go away." Eric assured of me. "Someday." At kumalas na ito sa akin.
The next man to dance with me was Theo's dad, Harrold. Nag usap-usap lang kami habang sumasayaw until we reached to the point na napag-usapan namin ang past ni Theo.
"Theo's been acting like that ever since he lost his girlfriend." Sabi nito sa akin. "He was traumatised. We want him to at least go into therapy but he always resists. The only last thing was that, we resorted to you as a company for him. I'm glad you're always there for him Dani." Ani nito sa akin. "I know we don't talk often but I just want you to know na, we are happy that you try your best to make him forget about his past. Bihira lang na nakikita namin si Theo na ngumingiti but when you came, he started smiling."
And that left me flabbergasted. 'Di ako makasalita sa harap nito dahil ang gaan lang ng paguusap namin. It feels like his dad is also my dad, na parang anak niya lang ako na kinakausap nito.
It's been months since I lost my Papa.
But I'm glad there's someone who will try his best for me.
"I know you lost your dad too. But I'll be happy to replace him for you." Ani nito sa akin at kumalas na kami sa pagsasayaw.
"Thank you so much." I kept on murmuring behind breath how thankful I am to be in this family.
Suddenly, Theo came running at hinahabol nito ang kaniyang hiningang lumapit sa linya. He was just in time for his turn, and the last dance. He was the last rose. Tumingin si Theo sa Dad nito at tumango lang. I did not look at him so he quickly pulled me to him at sumayaw na.
He was in a hurry. As if he was chasing for something. Inilagay nito ang kaniyang kamay sa bewang ko at pinatong ang isa kong kamay sa balikat niya. I wanted to talk to him about something or even ask him why he's been acting like this. Alam ko na nagiging assuming na ako sa mga kilos niya pero baka naman mali 'yun. Kaya siguro mas mabuti nang itanong ko sa kaniya ang totoo.
Pero, parang 'di ko mai-alis ang pagtatampo ko sa kaniya. Kaya eto ako ngayon, acting stupid in front of him.
I realised he was trying to grab my attention by Pinching my side. "Easy there." I coldly told him dahil parang nagmamadali ito. He slowed down at napabuntong hininga sa akin.
"Bakit ba kanina ka pa ganyan Dan?" Tanong nito sa akin dahil hindi ako tumitingin sa kaniya kahit na pilit nitong ginagalaw ang katawan ko para magtama ang tingin naming dalawa.
I didn't answer him. We just kept on dancing.
"Dani." He said in his usual stern and cold voice. "Please talk to me." He added.
"What else is there to talk about?" I gave up. Tumingin ako ng diretso sa kaniya. I think there's a lump inside my throat that my voice started breaking.
"Is there something wrong? Please tell me. You're acting like this kanina pa."
"Ano pa ba ang paguusapan Theo? You don't even acknowledge how I feel." Ani ko rito. "Nawawala ka nalang bigla. Ako nga dapat ang tatanong niyan sa iyo, whats wrong with you?" I asked him.
Ayan na. Bumigay na ako.
"I just had some urgent calls na kailangang asikasuhin. I'm sorry."
"It's urgent na pati ako, etsapwera na lang?" I scoffed at him. Tumingin ako sa kaniya ng diretso. Bigla namang nangilid ang luha ko, at ramdam kong biglang sumikip ang dibdib ko at umakyat pa talaga 'to sa lalamunan ko. But he was quick to wipe my tears off for me.
"Dani, please don't act like this." Sabi nito sa akin. "You're ruining your night."
"I wouldn't be acting like this if you started being real to me!" I yelled. Umiiyak na ako sa harap nito, hindi ko na mapigilan.
Bahala na kung makita nila ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.
"Dan..."
"Tell me, saan ka ba pumupunta? Are you with someone else?!" I yelled, this time napataas na ang boses ko. I was screaming and everyone heard it.
"Look,—"
"Please just cut to the chase." Humihikbi ko nang sinabi sa kaniya. Hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa bewang ko at pinalapit nito ako sa kaniya. Tumingin siya sa akin, sadness and hesitation was evident in his face. I couldn't tell how he felt. He was hard to read!
If he has something he doesn't want. He can tell me! Hindi naman ako manghuhula na basta-basta't huhulaan ang nararamdaman nito!
I'm just really tired. Nakakapagod naman maging tao.
"I'm really tired of you giving me mixed signals. Theo please. Please tell me the truth." I begged, I was breaking down in front of him already. Wala akong paki-alam kung masira ang makeup ko. Humagul-gol na ako sa harap nito habang sumasayaw parin kami.
"The thing is..." umiwas ng tingin si Theo sa akin.
"Ano?!" I yelled at him.
"I have a girlfriend." He confessed and it sank me down.
I sank in the ground.
Just recently, I was sinking, now I was drowning.
© 060720
AN
THANKS FOR READING!
[071820– Guys! We're #10 on boyxboy hashtag 😭 it means a lot to me! 😢 Hopefully, you liked the chapter and how the story is going 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 tell me your thoughts, kamusta naman siya? After 20+ chapters? I want to know your thoughts 🥺
Anyway, This was the surprise! This was the visual I wanted for Rouge, well this is him ♥️♥️ hope you liked it!