"Shit, shit."
Giovanni immediately turned the car to the opposite direction, the way to Bulacan. I bit my lower lip and stomped my feet to lessen the tense I'm currently feeling. I tried calling my mom and dad on messenger but they were not responding. They were still in Europe.
"Asan na tayo?" I asked tensely
"North Edsa na. Malapit na tayo sa NLEX, don't worry," he gave me an assurance smile and held my hand as he drove
The tension I felt lessen when Giovanni held my hand. He kept my hand on his as he continued driving on the way to NLEX. I sighed in relief when we experienced no traffic at all.
"Where's lolo?" I asked Roshaun when we got in Malolos
"He's in his room, resting. He survived, Ethisse." he managed to give me a smile but his eyes still looked sad, "Kaso makina na lang ang bumubuhay sa kanya."
"Shit," I bit my lower lip and looked away
I ran to my lolo's room. I saw him, peacefully sleeping in his room with wires connected in different parts of his body. His personal nurse was sitting beside his hospital bed, looking so sad while staring at my grandfather.
"Kuya Ethan, naka-book na ba kayo ng flight pabalik dito? Sa Clark na kayo bumaba kung hindi pa, para mas malapit sa Bulacan. Okay, okay, ingat." Evan was panicking while talking to the phone, he went to me when he saw me, "Uuwi na sila, Ethisse. Bukas daw ng madaling araw ang dating nila. Dito ka muna, okay?"
I nodded. Evan wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he stared at Lolo Emman. I looked at him, he looked like he just finished crying.
"Si Kuya Ethan at Ate Karlie na lang ang iniintay niya," I couldn't almost hear him because his voice suddenly broke, "Gusto niya na raw magpahinga. Ang sakit sakit sa puso, Ethisse. Ang sakit sakit isipin na 'yung taong malapit sa'yo, iiwan ka na habang buhay."
I hushed him and gave him a hug. Lahat kami rito, malapit kay Lolo Emman. Lahat kami rito, sobrang napasaya niya sa mga kalokohan at jokes niya. Pagdating nina mommy at daddy sa Bulacan kinabukasan, pumunta agad kaming lahat sa kwarto ng lolo. Sinama ko si Giovanni dahil gusto siyang makilala ng lolo. Kahit ito na ang una at huling pagkakataon na makikita niya ito.
"Kumpleto na ba ang lahat?" Lolo Emman said in a painful voice
Everyone was crying except for me. It was very painful for me seeing him like this, but I just could not cry. It felt like the pain numbed my eyes from crying. I felt like I should not cry because they would need someone from the family who is strong enough to console everyone. I felt it was me.
"Tulungan niyo nga ako umupo. Pa-experience lang umupo bago ako mamatay, palagi na lang akong nakahiga." lolo Emman reached his hand for help
Roshaun immediately attended him. He gave Roshaun a smile and patted his head. Roshaun started to cry when Lolo Emman did it. He gave him a small nod and an assurance smile.
"Okay, let's start. Una ko munang kakausapin ay si Maddox at Ezra. Maraming salamat sa inyong dalawa sa pagpapatuloy sa'kin dito at sa pag-aaruga sa'kin. Enjoy-in niyo muna ang pagiging architect at engineer, saka na kayo humanap ng tagapagmana niyo," he held Tito Maddox and Tita Ezra's hands who were both crying, "Kay Karlie at Ethan naman, Karlie, mahal na mahal ka ng anak kong si Ethan. Hindi siya nagmahal ng ibang babae noong nawala ka. Si Ethisse lang talaga. Sana ipa-experience niyo sa apo kong si Ethisse ang pakiramdam ng buo at masaya ang pamilya, matagal niyang pinangarap 'yan."
"I will, Tito Emman." mom nodded as she let her tears from falling
"Come on, call me papa or dad. Whatever you please, you are my daughter-in-law after all." he chuckled and held mom's hand
"I will, papa." Mom's voice broke. She squeezed Lolo's hand and kissed it
"Karylle, sana hindi mamuti buhok mo kay Mikhail. Humaba pa sana ang buhay mo. At ikaw naman, Mikhail, tangina mo, galingan mo sa pagmamanage ng hospital natin. Matagal nating pinangarap 'yan. Dadalawin kita kapag hindi ka umayos." umamba si lolo na sasapakin niya si lolo Mikhail
"Tarantado ka, syempre naman aayusin ko." lolo Mikhail chuckled and wiped off his tears
"Ethisse, masaya akong natupad na ang pinapangarap mong kumpletong pamilya. Akala natin imposible kasi akala ng lahat patay na si Karlie. Mabuti na lang at posible pa. Wag mong pasasakitin ulo ng mommy at daddy ha? Maging masunurin palagi," lolo Emman gave me a small smile as he touched my skin, "Hindi ko na masasaksihan ang pagiging parte mo ng national team at ang pagiging chef mo, apo. Pero apo, lagi mong tatandaan, proud na proud ang lolo sa'yo. Napakadami mong achievements kahit ang bata bata mo pa. Lagi mong tatandaan 'yan, ha?"
"I will, lolo."
He opened his arms that's why I gave him a hug. I forced myself not to cry because I don't want to. Magtutuloy-tuloy lang 'to kapag sinimulan ko. Lalo na nang marinig ko ang sumunod na mga salitang sinabi ng lolo ko.
"Ikaw ang pinakamatatag at pinakamalakas sa loob dito sa pamilya natin. Ikaw ang aasahan kong magpapatatag ng loob nila, Ethisse," bulong niya sa'kin sa malambing na boses, "Teka. Nobyo mo ba 'yung kulot na nakikita ko?"
Lumingon ako kay Giovanni na umiiyak habang pinapanood kami ni lolo. Sinenyasan siya ng lolo na lumapit dito. Pinunasan niya ang luha niya at sinarado ang bibig para pigilan ang sarili niya sa paghikbi.
Giovanni Marcus Rossi, my soft boy.
"Lolo Emman," Giovanni muttered
"Hoy, Giovanni ang pangalan mo 'di ba?" tila nagka-enerhiya si lolo bigla, tumango naman si Giovanni, "Giovanni, prinsesa 'tong si Ethisse sa pamilya namin. Kaya 'wag na 'wag mo siyang sasaktan. Kasi kapag sinaktan mo 'to, dadalawin kita gabi-gabi. Hindi talaga kita patutulugin."
"Hindi ko po siya sasaktan, lo. Pangako ko po 'yan."
"Roshaun, ang paborito kong apo, tara rito. Yakapin mo ang lolo." senyas ng lolo rito
Roshaun was crying when he hugged my grandfather. He sobbed on his chest while lolo patted his head. It was very painful for me to see them like that. They were very close.
"Gusto ko magka-MD ang dulo ng pangalan mo ha? Sana matupad mo rin 'yung pangarap mong maging non-showbiz boyfriend. Wag ka mag-alala apo, bubulungan ko si Lord na ipagkaloob sa'yo 'yon." he chuckled
"Please, lolo. Gusto ko po maging non-showbiz boyfriend." Roshaun finally chuckled despite the tears, "Pangako ko sa'yo, lolo. Magiging doctor ako. Gagayahin ko kayo ni Lolo Mikhail na kilala sa larangan ng medisina dahil sa dami ng taong nailigtas niyo."
"Ngayon pa lang, sasabihin ko na sa'yo, Roshaun, proud na proud ako sa'yo." he kissed his forehead, "Ursula, mahal ko, masaya akong natupad natin ang pinangako natin sa Diyos na 'till death do us apart. Sana kahit wala na ako, kahit hindi mo na maririnig pa ulit ang mga walang kwenta kong banat at jokes, maging masaya ka pa rin. Please lang, mahal, maging masaya ka. 'Yun lang ang gusto ko kasi mahal na mahal kita."
That's when lolo Emman started to cry. My lola Ursula sobbed as she rested her face on her husband's chest. Lolo reached his face to give her a soft kiss. Their last soft kiss. Lolo gestured his personal nurse to remove the wires connected to his body. It was painful for the nurse to do, she was crying while removing those. We witnessed how Lolo Emman became pale. It was so heartbreaking.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Ursula." lolo Emman smiled, and his eyes shut.
A loud beep was produced by the heart monitor as the line from it flattened. Everyone became silent. The nurse was crying as she looked at her watch.
"Time of death," her voice broke, "2:02am."
I immediately left the room after that. I don't want to hear their loud cries because it would just make me cry too. I let myself busy in the wake of my grandfather and as much as I can, I refused to look at him lying inside his coffin. When it's time for him to get blessed on the church, I stayed outside. I don't want to hear their eulogies. I don't want to hear people crying.
"Hey, Ethisse. You have been acting weird lately." Giovanni wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "Honey, it's okay to cry. Lolo Emman will understand if you will cry."
"Ang sakit, Giovanni. Sobrang sakit. Hindi ko matanggap na wala na si lolo," I felt I said those words unconsciously, "Hindi ako makaiyak sa sobrang sakit. Lalo pa kong nasasaktan na makita ang pamilya kong umiiyak."
"That's why you're avoiding them?"
I nodded and gave him a small smile. I hugged him so tight I felt his fast heartbeat. I stayed with this position for a little while. Giovanni's presence felt so home to me. His presence makes me at ease and strong.
"Thank you for letting me hug you." I said
"You don't need to thank me, Ethisse." he kissed my forehead, "You can hug me anytime you wish."
"No, I need to thank you." I shook my head and looked straight at his brown eyes, "Pinalakas ng yakap na 'to ang loob ko. I've been drained physically and emotionally, Giovanni. Salamat sa yakap mo, naging matatag ulit ako. Kailangan kong maging matatag para sa pamilya ko. Ako lang ang inaasahan nila na magpapalakas ng loob nila."
I let out a sigh and went inside of the church again with Giovanni following me from behind. I consoled my family as we watched lolo getting buried in the ground.
"Everything will be okay, guys. It's okay." I said in an assurance tone, "At least lolo can finally rest in peace. No more hardships for him. 'Yun na lang ang isipin natin."
Sinabi ko 'yon na para bang ang dali noong gawin. Dahil ako lang ang may kakayanan na gumalaw sa pamilya namin simula noong nawala ang lolo, ako ang naging abala sa padasal niya hanggang sa mag-40 days. Hindi ako nagrereklamo dahil naiintindihan kong hindi nila kayang hawakan lalo na't sobrang bigat ng mga dinadala nila at may sari-sarili silang trabaho. Tinutulungan naman nila ako paminsan-minsan.
"Totoo ngang pag may dumating, may aalis. And likewise."
Kasama ko ngayon si Giovanni at Zach. Sinundo nila ako sa Bulacan dahil ngayon ang pang 40th day ng lolo. Ang bilis ng mga araw, pakiramdam ko parang kahapon lang noong nawala si lolo.
"Everything will be better, Ethisse. Time will heal your hearts." Giovanni smiled at me and held my hand
"Kamusta pamilya mo, Ethisse?" tanong naman ni Zach
"They are getting better each day. I'm thankful for that. They are starting to function again."
"And that's because of you, Ethisse. You helped them to be strong again." Giovanni smiled and pinched my cheeks
"Yeah. I gotta be." I chuckled weakly, "Ako lang kinukuhaan nila ng lakas, eh."
"I'm so proud of you for being strong enough to handle a big problem such as this. And I'm sure that lolo Emman is proud of you, too." Giovanni answered
I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. Mabilis na lumipas ang mga linggo hanggang sa magpasukan na kami. Today is my first day as a college student. Maaga akong nagising dahil sa excitement kong pumasok. Naligo ako at sinuot ang uniform namin. Corporate attire ang uniform namin kaya nakasuot ako ngayon ng dark blue blazer and pencil skirt. Required sa girls ang naka-heels kaya nagsuot ako ng two-inch heels. I fixed my hair in a bun and went downstairs to have my breakfast.
"Aww, ang ganda ganda ng anak ko. Mana sa'kin." mom giggled when she saw me walking downstairs
"Partida, wala pang ka-makeup makeup 'yan," dad chuckled and looked at me, "Teka, bakit hindi ka naka-lipstick? Asan 'yung bigay ko sa'yo?"
"Ang hassle maglagay-lagay ng ganoon, dad. Sa school lang naman punta ko." reklamo ko at umupo sa harap nila para mag-breakfast
"Oo nga naman, hindi nga naman kasi siya makikipagdate, Ethan." mom teased me and chuckled
"Weh," I pouted and started eating
Nag-toothbrush ako pagkatapos kumain at nag-drive na papunta sa Webber University. I felt independent, wala na akong Giovanni at Zach na kasabay papasok. I walked towards my designated room. Everyone knew each other here.
"Hi, ikaw 'yung nagtetaekwondo 'di ba?" a girl asked
She was sitting beside me, wearing dark blue blazer and skirt, our uniform. I tilted my head to the side and looked at her.
"Bakit mo 'ko kilala?" tanong ko
"Duh, you're Ethisse Fontecchio. You're famous!" umirap siya at binagsak ang mga ere, "I'm Rafaela, by the way."
I evaluated her. I don't like her aura. Puro designer brands ang gamit niya at pakiramdam ko maarte siya at spoiled. Pakiramdam ko rin madaming issue 'to sa buhay.
"Hindi ako nakikipagkaibigan sa mga babae," I did a fake smile before rolling my eyes on her
"Hah," she scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Me too, you bitch. Why did I even bother talking to this girl?!" I heard her whispered
"What a backstabber," I faked a smile, "Why you're whispering those words? You don't have the guts to say those in front of my face?"
"You're a bitch!" she screamed which made everyone look at us
I looked around innocently before looking back at her. I placed my face near her ears and whispered, "Yes, I am. I know that."
She squealed in anger and walked out. I chuckled and shook my head as I watched her. During the lunch break, Gianna and I met in the cafeteria to eat lunch. She went with me because I got no friends yet to eat with.
"How's senior high?" I asked while we were eating bibimbap
"I'm loving HUMSS so far. I love talking a lot, you know. I might end up being a vlogger someday." she joked and chuckled
"Girl, why not?" I raised a brow and stopped eating, "You're capable of doing that."
"Sige na nga, mag-iisip na 'ko content pagkatapos natin kumain. Charot!"
I rolled my eyes and just continued eating. It annoys me to see people being shy to explore things. People are capable of doing anything they wished to! Nang dahil sa hiya kasi, ang daming namimissed out na opportunities ng iba. Tapos at the end, magsisisi sila, na sana pala hindi na lang sila nahiya.
When I got back in the classroom, there's a bitch sitting on my chair and it seemed she was picking on Rafaela. My left brow raised and walked near them. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched that bitch, still with a raised brow.
"Skandalosa ka masyado. First day na first day gagawa ka ng eksena?" the bitch said on Rafaela
I scoffed. Seems like she was talking about herself.
"Bitch, you don't even know what really happened. Why do you keep on making sawsaw? Are you a ketchup? A mayonnaise?" maarteng rebut ni Rafaela rito
I compressed my lips to stop myself from laughing. I stood beside my chair and the bitch suddenly looked at me like I did something wrong. I raised a brow as I gave her my deadpan expression.
"Why are you standing here?" maarteng tanong nito sa'kin
"Because that's my chair?" I imitated her tone
"Oh? May pangalan mo?"
Napalayo ang mukha ko at nagsalubong ang kilay ko nang dahil sa sinabi niya. Anong klaseng rebut 'yan? Are we in elementary?
"Meron."
"Oh? Asan?" she acted like she was looking for it
Naiinis ako. Naingudngod ko tuloy mukha niya sa arm rest. "Ayan. Kita mo na?"
She stood up and started crying. I looked at her from head to toe and sat on my chair. She was just standing in front of me, giving me a deadly look. I acted so scared and put my hands on my chest.
"Aw, you're so scary." I pouted and looked at her
"You're a bitch!" she shouted and pointed at me
"I know," I mouthed and faked a smile
She squealed and walked out, just what like Rafaela did earlier. I raised a brow while looking at her and put my attention on my phone. I wanna talk to my boyfriend.
"Ang aarte ng mga tao dito," reklamo ni Rafaela
I looked at her. She was talking to me pala. I just gave her a nod and put my eyes on my phone again. I texted Giovanni about my rant in this class. Napakaarte kasi ng mga tao. Hindi ako tatagal dito sa section na 'to.
"Hey, Ethisse." she called me again
"Oh?" I answered, still texting with Giovanni
"You told me you don't like making friends with girls. Did you mean like her?" she pointed at that bitch
"Basta, 'yung maarte. Ayoko sa maarte." tipid na tugon ko rito
"One of the boys ka rin ba?"
I put my phone on my desk and looked at her annoyingly. Ang daming tanong. Nakakainis.
"Oo," iritang sagot ko, "Ano pang itatanong mo?"
"Really?!" her eyes looked excited, "Do you wanna transfer to another section with me? Puro lalaki sa kabila at balita ko solid sila."
Napaisip ako sa sinabi niya. I would rather be with a lot of guys than this section.
"Tara. Ngayon na ba?"
Tumango siya. Sabay naming kinuha ang bag namin at lumipat sa kabilang section. Puro lalaki nga rito at dadalawa lang ang babae. The boys clapped their hands when they saw Rafaela and I walking to the vacant chair.
"Gago, pre. Si Ethisse Fontecchio. Ang ganda pala sa personal, pre." a guy said
"Hala, gago, oo nga. Kaso nakakatakot lapitan, nambubugbog 'yan eh."
Tumingin ako sa kanila kaya bigla silang napaiwas ng tingin at nagkunwaring hindi ako pinag-usapan. I evaluated them, mukha naman silang matitino kasama. Lumapit ako sa kanila at umupo sa bakanteng upuan malapit. Kumakain sila ng tsitsirya kaya nakikain din ako.
"Tatakot kayo sa'kin? Aanhin ko ba kayo?" tanong ko sa kanila bago ngumuya
"Baka kainin mo kami eh." sabi noong isa
"Gago, jowa ko lang kakainin ko." umirap ako at kumuha ulit ng tsitsirya, "Ano? Inom tayo mamaya after class?"
Naghiyawan silang lahat. Lumapit tuloy 'yung iba sa'min at nakiusyoso. Nang anunsyuhin nila na may inom mamaya, naghiyawan ang lahat. Napangiti ako. I'm loving this section.
"May bar kami sa BGC." sabi bigla ng isang babae, "No entrance fee for you all. Ano, G?!"
"G!"
Pagkatapos ng klase, umuwi muna kami sa kani-kaniya naming mga bahay. May GC na agad ang section namin kaya na-uupdate na namin ang isa't isa kung sino na ang papunta at kung sino ang naroon na. Nagsuot lang ako ng brown long sleeves na v-neck, boyfriend jeans na may buckle belt, at continental sneakers ng Adidas. Sinukbit ko ang sling bag ko at nagpabango.
Si Zach lang ang kasama ko dahil may evening training si Giovanni ng football. Sinundo niya 'ko sa bahay. Nakasuot siya ng white hoodie, khaki sweat shorts at black and white na Michael Kors sneakers.
"Jowa mo?" tanong ng kaklase ko, siya 'yung nagsabing ang ganda ko sa personal, Carlos ang pangalan nito
"Hindi ah," napangiwi akong tumingin kay Zach, "Yuck."
"Eh asan 'yung jowa mo?" tanong naman noong lalaking nagsabi na nakakatakot daw ako, si Ralph
"Nasa football field, nagtetraining." sagot ko at nag-straight shot ng Margarita
Hinila ko si Zach papunta sa bar island. Umorder kami ng isang bucket ng san mig apple. Warm up, kumbaga.
"Ethisse, pare, kaklase mo ba 'yun?" tinuro ni Zach 'yung babaeng may-ari ng bar na 'to
"Oo. Type mo?" tanong ko bago lumagok ng beer
"Ang ganda, pre. Reto mo naman ako. Ano pangalan?"
I smiled awkwardly. Hindi ko kasi alam pangalan niya. Kinalabit ko tuloy 'yung bartender at gulat itong tumingin sa'kin.
"Kuya, ano name noong babae na 'yon. 'Yung may-ari nitong bar." tinuro ko 'yung kaklase ko
"Anak po 'yan ng may-ari, ma'am," he corrected me and smiled, "Si ma'am Daisy po."
"Thank you kuya," ngumiti ako rito at hinila si Zach, "Tara."
Excited ako habang hinihila si Zach palapit kay Daisy. Naalala ko kasi 'yung eksena sa How I met your mother, tuwing nireretohan ni Barney Stinson si Ted Mosby sa Maclaren's Pub.
"Hi, Daisy!" masiglang bati ko rito, kasama niya si Rafaela
"Ethisse! Hello!" bumeso ito sa'kin
Hindi niya napansin si Zach kaya hinila ko ito, "Daisy, haaaave you met Zach?"
Iniwan ko ito at bumalik sa bar island. I'm watching Zach from afar. He was making his moves already. I regretted introducing him, though. Wala na tuloy akong kasama uminom.
"Is this seat taken?"
"Giovanni!" my eyes widened when I looked up
He kissed my forehead before sitting beside me, "Hello, my love."
"Ethisse, pre," lumapit sa'kin si Carlos kasama si Ralph, batid ko ay mag-best friends sila, "Eto? Jowa mo na talaga?"
Tumango ako at ngumiti, "By the way, Giovanni, this is Carlos, and this is Ralph."
"Kilala ko 'to, nakikita ko 'to sa kapatid ko." tinuro ni Ralph si Giovanni
Giovanni looked at Ralph and knitted his brows, "Kapatid mo?"
"Oo, pre. Wallpaper ka no'n. Crush na crush ka amp. Akala ko naman wala kang jowa." kwento ni Ralph
"Sino ba kapatid mo?" tanong ko
"Kilala mo 'yon, panigurado. Nagtetaekwondo 'yon sa Webber eh," he proudly said and did a straight shot, "Vartisy, pare." he chuckled
"Anong vartisy? Varsity, bobo!" binatukan siya ni Carlos
"Tanga, alam ko. Tanginang 'to!" inambahan siya ng suntok ni Ralph, "Bawal magbiro? Bawal magbiro?"
"Teka, teka," tinaas ko ang mga kamay ko sa ere para pansinin nila 'ko, "Sino 'yung kapatid mo na nagtetaekwondo na varsity sa school?"
Sino sa mga teammates ko?
"Si Janelle."