warning: the following chapter briefly mentions suicide and drug/alcohol abuse.
and i'll say it now that this will somewhat continue until the end of the book.
thanks for reading!
"CAN I PLEASE GET my shirt back?" I asked Tori. I stood in front of her in my jean shorts and a black bralette. I don't think I've ever felt more exposed in my life. Well, I have, and I try my best to push it out of my memory. "Please!" I try to grab it from her.
My sister pulls it away. "Laura will be back soon enough with some dresses for you to try on, you'll have to take your shirt off after anyway." Victoria gets off her bed, holding her silk robe. "Here, if you really feel exposed."
She helps me put it on, despite the fact that I could do it myself. The baby blue fabric felt cool against my skin. But my sister wasn't too focused on helping, her eyes still going down to my stomach for the nth time during this dress fitting session. I find myself tracing the most noticeable scar.
"Now that she's gone, do you want to tell me how you got that?" Tori asked.
I turned around, not being able to face my sister. Unfortunately, the mirror was right there, giving me a better view of it. "What do you think it is? It's from a desperate suicide attempt, before I remembered I couldn't actually die."
The look on her face said that that was exactly what she was expecting. She pursed her lips. "How old were you?" she asked quietly, sniffing.
I sat at the edge of the bed and played with the end of the robe. "Fifteen, almost." I closed my eyes, trying to hold back tears. "Drunk, I'm pretty sure. I just got... frustrated with my life, saw the blade in my room and-"
I stopped. I couldn't continue. I thought that one day I would've been able to talk about everything that happened to me openly to the people that actually care about me, but clearly today wasn't that day. I flop onto the bed, letting out a sigh.
Tori lies down beside me. "I'm sorry, Vera, I shouldn't have asked you around it."
"No, no it's okay," I said. "You just were curious, probably worried." I wanted to change the topic, so, so badly. "How are... how are the kids? Does Annalise allow you to sleep?"
Tori doesn't mind the change in topic, laughing in response my my question. "No, she doesn't, but at this point I'm used to it. Child number five is just another walk in the park... and I assume there's going to be a sixth in the future."
I sat back up again. "Was it part of the job description that you had to be able to have a child in October in order to be queen? Because if it was, I'm pretty sure you ignored that part and got the job anyway."
She smacked me gently. "You bastard. I knew I'd end up with a bunch of kids, but apparently the universe just decided it would punish him and our kids are either born in September or November."
"Wasn't Isadora born in August?"
"Oh, yeah. That was terrifying. It wasn't even the end of the month, more like halfway through."
"Yes, fifteen is half of thirty, you can math well."
Victoria rolled her eyes. "Anyway, moving on, you and Atticus went on a walk today?" Her voice became higher, and she held onto the word "today". I knew this was going to end up to be a conversation I didn't want to take part in.
"Yes... we did. It was no big deal..." I drew out my voice. "Why are you asking?"
"Come on, Vera," she retorted. "How do you even manage to be around him all the time and not feel like you're going to die? How do you stay so calm when he has a girlfriend? One of these days, you're going to admit your feeling to him, I know you're going to spill."
"Apparently that day was today," I mumbled, just loud enough so she could hear.
Her eyes grew wide. "No, you're joking. What was his reaction? Wait a second, what happened to Mikayla?"
"You're overly enthusiastic about my relationship status, you know that?" I asked her. "He broke up with Mikayla, I found out this morning. It was probably recent because when we had breakfast this morning, she barged in and tried to convince him I was a crazy bitch and he would be better off without me."
Victoria made a disgusted noise. "Honestly, makes sense but does she even know who you are? One bad move and I'll get Lysander to throw her in the dungeon. I could care less on whether it's right or not."
"She pointed a butterknife at me-"
"That's it, I'll be back." Tori gets up. I'm horrified, but she turns back around before she reaches the door. "Kidding, obviously. So, Atticus' reaction to your confession?"
"He confessed to me, actually," I clarified. "I just, you know, confirmed."
"Are you finally dating?" Her eyes grew wide again. "I think I've been waiting for this moment since you were five. The two of you were always so cute together."
"Tori, are you out of your mind?" I asked my sister. "The feelings are there but... I don't know, there's so much going on. I told him that being with him was everything my seventeen year old heart wanted, but I told him not yet. I wasn't ready to be in a relationship."
Tori pouted. "You just crushed all my hopes and dreams, sister. But I get it... you want it to last, right? So you don't want to rush into it only to rush out."
That's... one way to put it. "I guess."
"Anything else exciting happen this morning?" Tori asked as there was a knock on her door. She tells them to come in, and in comes Laura - the dress maker - with at least a dozen dresses in tow.
Victoria gets up and looks through the dresses. Most of them, she shakes her head and moves on to the next dress. Occasionally, she chooses one out and tosses it onto the bed. Most were dresses in different shades of blue, purples, and even a red and black one. Most were floor length gowns.
I look through the dresses, creating a pile of my own. "I mean, I told him I wanted to wait but we might have-" I say the next word about ten times quieter. "-kissed."
She stopped looking through the dresses for a moment, a joyful look on her face. "My baby sister had her dream kiss... you should have led with that, Vera." She looked at the dresses. "I'm going to text him a picture of your dress and force him to match with you."
I rolled my eyes. "I told you, we aren't dating yet. I don't know if we ever will, depending on how awkward it becomes. And also, how are you supposed to match a suit? Do you make the jacket bright pink?"
"Please, Vera, I know you wouldn't be caught dead in a bright pink dress. You just match the tie, the pocket, whatever. Now, choose a couple dresses, and Laura can tailor it for you. I was going to have her hand make you one, but I'm not sure you'd like that, especially for your first royal dance."
"Hopefully it ends up being my last," I mutter in annoyance. I hated this, so, so much.
Tori picks up the lavender dress from the pile and helps me into it. "Uh, Laura, could you come back in thirty minutes or so. I can help my sister and I have some matters to talk to her about." The dressmaker nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Tori zips up the dress as she leans in, close to my ear. "Do you know what's going on with your coronation. Is it even happening? What are Pheon and I supposed to do about it?"
I examined the dress in the mirror. It was a little loose, but generally fit fine. "I don't know, honestly. People mention it in the randomist times, like in Auxillium with Att's grandmother and that stupid ghost lady-"
"You mean, like, our several-great grandmother that was murdered during the battle two centuries ago, that ghost lady?"
I nodded. I probably shouldn't be addressing her so rudely. "I don't know what's going on. I don't like to bring it up. If the universe thinks that it'll happen, then the universe will find a way for it to do exactly that. But I'm not going to do anything about it."
Victoria didn't say anything, she just continued to stroke my hair. After several moments of silence, she changes the topic. "Is there a colour you want to wear? Blue? Gold? This lavender one looks stunning on you."
"Is there anything in full black?" I asked, looking down at the dress on the bed. The red looked nice with it, but I just wanted a plain dress.
"Ugh, you're so emo," Tori complained. "I wish you stayed bright and cheerful, Vera. I think I liked it when I dressed you when you were a toddler." She picks up the red dress. "This one, please, just try it on. Then you can meet up with Lysander in Roselake, okay?"
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, whatever, but can you please find a way to make it go up to my knees, and not have me potentially trip over the dress."
She kisses my forehead, a smile on her face. "I'll see what I can do."
✶
THE DRIVE FROM THE castle to the city of Roselake normally was a seven hour drive. Thanks to my newly discovered powers, the trip took more like seven seconds, once I knew where the place was.
When my two feet touched the soil, I felt exhausted. A million pounds were just added onto my shoulders. My head spun as if I just did a million pirouettes. I closed my eyes for a second, calming myself. I was burning through this magic, which was supposed to be keeping my conscious until my birthday. I just... needed... a minute.
"Vera!" I can see Lysander rushing towards me in his red military suit. His arms are wrapped around me before my leg gave up. "Vera, are you-"
"Do you have water?" I moaned. Yeah, maybe travelling this distance in one go wasn't the best idea. "I'm going to be fine, Lys. I just made a stupid decision trying to teleport myself all this way, especially since it's only be a couple days since I figured out this worked."
I lean on his shoulder as he guides me to their base. The damage was intensive all around. Parts of the damage was still smoking, a gray haze hovering over our heads. It made me cough, my chest feeling like it was constantly being squeezed. Lysander sits me down and hands me a bottle of water.
The fire raged through the main parts of the city. Any longer, and you wouldn't have even known there was a city here. It would just be ruins, ashes, and hundreds of dead bodies.
"Captain, may I provide you with an update?" A guard that was much older than my brother, even he king, probably approached us.
"What are the numbers, Sir Lyall?" My brother takes a seat next to me, listening to the solder in front of him.
I never took the time to understand or ask why and how Lysander managed to secure the position of Captain at such a young age. He was twenty-three, and yeah, sure he had connections, and he held a dagger from the moment he was able to stand, but he was so young, and was one of the most powerful people in the kingdom.
"We found seventy-five more survivors of the fires, Sire. Medical copters are bringing these people to nearby hospitals right now."
"And the deaths?"
The older guard sighed. "Two hundred more bodies were found, bringing the total to over three thousand."
I coughed, not sure if it was because of the air or hearing the news while I was taking a sip of water. "Over three thousand? Impossible, the fires couldn't have been that bad." There wasn't enough magic in the world for that much damage.
"Lady Vera, the fires were treacherous, and it burned through over five hundred square kilometers of land, and the royal military hasn't tended to most of the city. The death count is bound to increase."
"What's the total from the three attacks?" I questioned. The guard was hesitant to disclose the information. He turned to Lysander, for approval. My brother nodded.
"As of now, the death count is near ten thousand, and is projected to be about twenty-five thousand in total. Many of those in hospitals sustained injuries that cannot be healed."
"What do you mean, can't be healed? There are solutions for first degree burns. There are solutions for injuries. How bad can they be, if they can't be healed?" I asked. This was insane. Inhumane. I knew the people who did this, and if they didn't want to get rid of me, then I'd be a part of this.
Lysander grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "That's why I wanted you here, Vera." He turned to the guard. "You're dismissed, Sit Lyall. I'd like another report in a couple hours." The guard nodded, turning away.
"If you wanted me here because of the injured people, why did you tell me I could come after the dress fitting?" I asked my brother. I was frantic. "This is about a hundred times more serious than that, it could have waited... you didn't tell why you wanted me here, did you?"
Lysander bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. "She's freaking out about the king's birthday and she wanted to spend some time with you, Vera. Some time where you aren't, like, dying in a hospital bed. And besides-" He pulls out his phone and shows me the messages between him and my sister. We ended up taking pictures and sending them to Lys. Our goofy mirror selfies were beaming with joy. "-look at you guys. It's been ten years, Vera. She's trying to make up for lost time."
Lysander stood up. "If you're feeling alright, we should go. I want to show you the situation."
I got up, running fingers through my hair. So many innocent lives are going to be lost as a result of this. Would it really be appropriate for the royal family to be throwing a party in three days time? But then I remembered - the Alderidge family had a history of not giving a fuck about the people in their kingdom, and I guess some things don't change.
The royal guard set up a medical tent to hold the injured before they can transport them to hospitals. Most people were unconscious or sleeping, ignoring the pain that consciousness brought them. Doctors and nurses that were flown in were walking around, trying to aid people. Mostly, they were watching the state of people, handing out painkillers and sleeping pills who needed them most.
The sight made me nauseous. It was like being the in the hospital in the main city. The sight of kids on their death beds made me tear up. How did I spend so much of my time killing people before, but couldn't stand the sight now.
Because you never saw the after affect. And you just became blackout drunk afterwards.
"Vera... Vera, I can get you home if you can't do this, or we can work from the hospital at home, it's not a big deal to have you here," Lysander said, trying to calm me down. "I just thought the sooner I let you saw this, the sooner we can fix it."
I'm okay... I'm okay... "I'm okay," I tell my brother. "I'm okay. What do you want to..."
"Okay, first, I just wanted to ask you something." Lysander brings me to the back of the tent, where they kept the medical equipment, and less injured bodies. "I know... I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I just need to get my head around it. As far as the military is concerned, this is the result of a regular, uncontrolled, fire. Something that would start in someone's kitchen." Lysander paused, thinking. "Do you remember, maybe, six years ago? The fire Ansen-" and you "-started? In Acer."
I nodded. It was one of my first tasks. I don't remember the entire context - Ansen went in and out of the library there. When we were done, he told me to set fire to the building. The winds caused it to spread to some nearby homes. Twelve people died that day. I nod slowly, answering my brother.
Lysander continued. "The police force and medical team were able to save people there. Shortly before, scientist developed the new burn cream, you remember? It saved a lot of people."
I looked around. "That thing has been improved since then, it should be working quickly... but it isn't." Lysander nodded. That was an issue, if the current medical care didn't work. It was the quickest method of healing these wounds, and if we return to old methods, it took ages.
"You caused the fire with a regular match, right?" Lysander asked. It brought me out of my thoughts. "Some kerosene on the floor to catch the flame and spread it quickly, maybe a couple other tools, but that was it, right? No magic."
I furrowed my brows, it was an odd question. "Yeah... yeah that's what we used. It caught the fire quick and then we were out of there. Why do you ask-"
And as I finish the question, my brain clicks. Lysander notices it on my face.
"This one, we were pretty sure, was caused by magic, right?" Lysander continued. "And you guys didn't know about people being able to use powers until recently, like when we were up north, in Auxillium. Correct?"
I nodded. "I don't know if Ansen knew from before, but he didn't tell me if he did. As far as I'm concerned, this is the first full on attack that he's done with the use of magic."
Lysander began to bit his nails. "Okay... okay. Is it possible that we can't heal these wounds because they were caused by magic."
"I still don't understand, it's just the cream that doesn't work, right?" I questioned my brother. He shook his head, and made me follow him back into the sea of injured bodies.
He brings me to a doctor that looks oddly familiar. She greats me and Lysander with a kind smile. The patient she's with is a little girl, probably not much older than Leo. I wince at the burn marks covering her skin.
"Vera, this is Dr. Maxwell," Lysander introduces. The doctor holds out her hand and I shake it. "You might recognize her, she tended to your illnesses before. After the stabbing in the school and the day or something after you returned home."
I nodded, now remembering. "It's nice to see you again."
"It's nice to see you at a time when you aren't the patient I'm attending too."
Lysander turned to the doctor. "Is it possible to show the effects of the cream to my sister. We need to test something out, Doctor."
The doctor nodded. She had a tube of the burn cream with her already. "I was just about to test it on Mari here, to see if maybe if it varied between age groups." It was a lie, I could tell by her eyes. She knows the result, but judging by the two adults watching us intensely, I think it's more to bring at least some hope to Mari's parents.
A burn mark raged up the little girl's leg, and it looked absolutely horrifying. Her skin was burned, and you could see the pink part of her muscles and flesh. Parts of the burn looked like it was more of a cut. "I'm not sure if you know much about the technology but it was-"
"-developed as a way to treat the burns on sight, and once it makes contact with skin, you could see it heal instantly, leaving hardly a mark, depending on the degree of burn," I finish the doctor's sentence. "I've used it before." It was robbed, from the labs. I think about the scars on my stomach and back.
The doctor looks amused by my response. "Precisely. When we apply the cream to these patients and these burns - here, let me show you." The doctor carefully spreads the cream on some of the burn area. The cream dissolves, but the injury isn't healed. "It's ineffective, doesn't matter if we clean the area with cool water first. Some of the injuries look like cuts, and they are deep, but it's the strangest thing... when we stitch the skin together, it doesn't close easily, and the seams break quickly."
I look to Lysander, then back to the doctor, then to the little girl lying on the ground. Her eyes focus on me. She's desperate. Scared. Maybe I'm her only hope. Maybe in a couple days - or even tomorrow - she'll die of infections of her untreatable injuries.
I crouch down, my knees touching the hard, dry ground. I can heal myself quicker than other people - all heirs could - but if I had the healing power of Alynthi... that was the question. "Is it okay if I touch your leg?" I asked the girl.
"I really wouldn't advise that-" the doctor starts, but quickly stops. I turn back to Mari, who nods.
"Are you going to help me."
I might make a fool of myself. "I'll try, sweetie."
I examine the wound, noticing where she got hurt. She winces if my fingers get too close to the affected area. I do my best to move around it.
I close my eyes. I focus on the injury covering the girl's leg. It's like picturing my destination when I teleport, but this time, I'm picturing the girl's leg healed.
"Impossible," I hear the doctor whisper. When I open my eyes, half the burn is healed, the thinnest possible mark left behind. I move my hand from her leg, and Mari moves her leg to touch the healed part.
And almost immediately, my chest feels tight. The world spins and I start coughing. Lysander gets on his knees and holds me, and he orders someone to get me a glass of water. I'm tired, I feel like falling.
My eyes water as someone hands me a waterbottle. I cross my legs and face my brother as I take a drink. I'm draining myself more, I know that. I hand my brother the waterbottle, now three quarters empty.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked, helping me up. I know the room is watching me. Healing magic... I used it for the first time in over a hundred years. People thought magic was gone, or they just believed magic didn't exist.
I nod, but Lysander knows I'm lying. He plants a kiss on my forehead and wipes the tears from the corners of my eyes.
"DOCTOR, DOCTOR!" I turn to see a young man, maybe in his late twenties, approaching Dr. Maxwell. He's limping, with burns covering his right leg. I guess, somehow, he wasn't too badly injured. "I'm so sorry, this is the weirdest request you could recieve at the time."
The man looked peculiar. His eyes... they were hazel, but at time, the lighting made them seem golden. Not Ansen-golden, but lighter. Warmer.
"What is it?" The doctor asked. She's already beginning to move towards the man.
The man seems out of breath, in pain. "My wife... she's... going into labour."
Shock is all that's spread on the doctors face. In a place where she was trying to save people from dying, I don't think she expected to introduce knew life into the world. "Take me to her."
The man begins to hobble away, the doctor following. I pull out of my brother's hug and follow the two as well.
"Vera, where are you going?" Lysander asks, still following me. "I'm going to get you back to the palace."
I shake my head. I wasn't going, not yet. I know why the man threw me off, seemed different. He had his leg injury, and he also had a cut on his hand, tightly wrapped with a bandage. The man is trying his best to hide it, try to divert the attention away but he doesn't do it that well.
Because I notice it, and after following my gaze, Lysander sees it too.
The man was bleeding liquid gold.