I'm Still Here

Notes

Hello!

This is a translation of my own work (Eu ainda estou aqui).

 My native language is Portuguese, so please, if you see any errors let me know. I'm here to improve. 

I hope you enjoy it, it was a strange ideia that come to my mind a while ago.

Beware of spoilers! [and some theories]

It's Tododeku, but is also kind of platonic, so, I hope you like it!

.......................................................

The past few days had been exhausting for Shoto. With all of Kamino's disaster, the downfall of All Might and dealing with Endeavor's bad mood for finally having what he wanted. And on top of it, the move to the dorms. He thought he deserved a good night's sleep.

When he finally managed to escape interaction with his very excited classmates and lie down on his futon, he thought he would have his wish for hours of uninterrupted sleep fulfilled, but it was not to be.

He thought about ignoring the light knock on the door, but at last, he got up with an unhappy face.

That changed when he opened the door.

"Ah, Midoriya?"

The other boy smiled, but Shoto immediately noticed that something was wrong. For one, Izuku didn't seem the type to impose himself on someone at this time of night.

His body language was also all wrong: arms crossed over his chest as if he were holding himself together that way. His eyes were looking at his feet, tossing his hair over his face and hiding his expression.

"Midoriya?" Shoto reached out, then lowered it his hand, not knowing what to do. He was not good at dealing with people. "Izuku?"

"Can I come in for a bit?"

His voice came out vulnerable. Shoto opened the door wider and gave him space. He noticed that he was shaking, his skin pale. He didn't remember him being like that hours ago. He seemed happy then, involved with the others.

"Yeah, sit down." He offered around uncomfortably, aiming the futon.

The other hesitated a step but sat cross-legged there, still looking vulnerable.

Shoto didn't like that at all. There was something wrong. It wasn't right to see Izuku like that, it didn't suit him.

"Did something happen?"

The other boy didn't respond for a while, but Shoto knew how to be patient. He sat beside him, their legs touching, all sleep forgotten at the moment. He wondered if it involved what had happened in Kamino, his time with the villains until he was rescued.

Shoto knew that Aizawa-sensei probably has talked to him about it already. The police did. Maybe Bakugou too? The two of them had some kind of strange relationship of almost friendship or something.

Still, he had sought out Shoto.

He tried to drown out the strange feeling of satisfaction at that.

"Do you know when sometimes ..." Izuku started, his voice was almost absent. Shoto looked at him closely. "You think about the things that could have happened?"

He frowned at that, nodding slowly, even if not, he was not sure what he was talking about.

The green eyes finally looked at him and Shoto noticed that they were red. Izuku had cried, he was sure. Not that it was absurd, he was always crying, but this time there was something different. Something very wrong.

"Everything ... everything that could have been different. If I had made another decision, turned around another corner. Maybe there's another me out there, in another universe, living the life I should have lived, you know? "

"Midoriya, you're not making much sense."

He heard a laugh at that, the other boy hugging his knees to his chest.

"Yeah, you're right." His voice was small. "I'm just thinking. "

Shoto made a sound of understanding, intrigued by the whole situation.

"I think I better go."

Shoto almost nodded in agreement but paused. There was a strange feeling in his chest that said that if he let Izuku out that door, he wouldn't see him anymore.

It was irrational, but the fear was there.

"You can stay if you want." He offered very quickly and received an expression of relief in response. He knew there that he did the right thing, even without understanding what was happening.

The two organized themselves while pulling another futon for Midoriya, perhaps closer to his than it should be, but they were friends.

Izuku was his friend. And he wanted his friend to be fine. Izuku was afraid of being alone at the moment, for some reason.

The two lay in silence and after a while, Shoto reached out to him in the dark, who immediately grabbed his hand. It felt right.

He was drifting off to sleep when he heard a whisper, close to his ear, so low that he wondered if he had heard it:

"I'm still here."

..................................................................................

Shoto woke up in the infirmary. He felt confused and had a terrible headache.

Recovery Girl made an exasperated sound with her tongue, emerging from somewhere when he tried to get up.

She left for a while after checking him out, ignoring his questions about how he got there. The last thing he remembered was sleeping on his futon, holding Izuku's hand.

Aizawa-sensei appeared in the company of the heroine, a stoic expression on his face.

"What happened?"

His brow furrowed in concern.

"Do you not remember?"

He denied it, feeling intrigued. His head still hurt, but he didn't want to go back to sleep at the moment, not without understanding what was going on.

"You had an accident during training yesterday and hit your head. You spent the night in the infirmary. "

And with that, he started to lecture him on security. Shoto had lost control of his quirk and knocked a wall over himself. It was a little embarrassing. And strange, he had not lost control of his quirk since he had started using both sides of it. When he questioned this, Aizawa-sensei looked at him strangely, as if he had said something wrong.

"Since when do you use both sides of your quirk, kid?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise at this. He was sure he had used his fire several times after the sports festival. How did Aizawa-sensei not know that?

He shook his head, which hurt more with the movement. Recovery Girl sighed at that and even with his protests she kissed him on the forehead.

At the same moment, the pain was gone, but he was sleepy. He wouldn't mind any other time, but he still felt confused and wanted answers.

With a drowsy voice, fighting sleep under the exasperated gaze of the two heroes for his stubbornness, he asked the next question that intrigued him, because the last person who he remembered being with was Izuku.

"Where's Midoriya?"

Aizawa-sensei frowned, confused, the two heroes exchanged a worried look.

"Who is Midoriya?"

................................................... ..

Izuku Midoriya had not always been in Class 1-A, much less in Shoto's life. In fact, until the sports festival, Shoto was unaware of his existence. They studied at the same school, had teachers in common, shared dreams, but until the crucial moment, they barely coexisted in the same universe.

Until the festival, when Midoriya mopped the floor with Shoto and helped him start overcoming his monsters and accepting himself. Midoriya had not won the festival, but he had drawn enough attention to be accepted into the hero class a few months later.

"Todoroki-kun, no one has yet been accepted into the hero class after the festival. There is a boy who we are watching, but his name is not Midoriya. "

It didn't make sense. Shoto looked at the surrounding heroes, Kayama-sensei, Yamada-sensei and director Nedzu himself. How could they not remember Midoriya?

"What's his quirk?" Director Nedzu asked intrigued. At least he seemed to be taking him seriously. When quirks existed, something like this could well be the fault of one of them.

"Fire breathing. "

The heroes looked at each other and the director shook his head. Shoto felt even more agitated.

"He was kidnapped by the villains at the camp. How can you not remember him? "

The heroes looked at him even more concerned. Kayama-sensei spoke carefully, looking at him intently.

"Todoroki-kun, Bakugou was the student kidnapped by the villains. You were even among the students who went to his rescue. "

"Not. It does not make sense." He crossed his arms. Bakugou had organized the rescue. He and Izuku had a rivalry for years, even before U.A, but they were friends too. "Bakugou! Ask Bakugou, he knows Midoriya. "

.....................................

Bakugou remembered Midoriya, but not as Shoto expected.

"Where the hell did you hear that name from?"

The red eyes were agitated, the arms tensed, looking from Shoto to Aizawa-sensei and the other teachers with an agitated expression. More than that, there was something about him, in his eyes, that made Shoto's chest freeze.

It was the first time that he saw Bakugou almost sad.

"He studies here, nobody remembers him, but he studies here."

He was surprised when the other one advanced on him, being held firmly by Aizawa-sensei.

"Bakugou! What was this?"

"This is no joke, you bastard!" Bakugou became more agitated, red eyes on his face. He pushed sensei away and crossed his arms. "I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but if you think you can joke with something like that ..."

"Bakugou, Todoroki is not joking. We are trying to understand what happened. Do you recognize that name? "

Bakugou clutched his arms tightly, looking from one to the other in the boardroom until he fixed his gaze on Shoto. And there it was again, beneath all the anger, that feeling that made him uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I know who it is. And he certainly doesn't study here and never did. "

"Can you tell us where he is? Maybe we can understand why Todoroki knows so much about him. "

Bakugou looked at the window, his jaw clenched. When he replied, his voice was small.

"In the cemetery."

The red eyes looked at Shoto again and he finally understood the feeling there. It was guilt.

"He died, more than a year ago."

............................................................ ..

Izuku Midoriya had died in a villainous attack in the last year of Middle school. He had choked to death under a bridge and the villain had used his body as a puppet for days until he was caught.

He had never entered U.A, he did not have a fire quirk and Shoto certainly had never seen him in his life.

Shoto looked at the headstone, with a name and date. Aizawa-sensei was at his side, a hand on his shoulder. Shoto had not believed it until he was there. Even with Izuku's room being occupied by someone else in the dorm and everyone saying they never saw him.

"His favourite dish is Katsudon. He writes notebooks with quirk analysis. He lives with his mother. "

Aizawa-sensei squeezed his shoulder in comfort and Shoto just felt very confused. Bakugou was in the car. He hadn't come out, just pointing out where the headstone was. Midoriya seemed a delicate matter to him.

Shoto had no idea what was going on, how he knew all that and nobody could explain it either.

There was no explanation for the terrible mourning he felt for someone he had never met.

...................................................

Life went on for some time after that. Shoto and Bakugou did not speak about the subject and neither did the teachers, but none of them forgot the situation at all.

For a while, Shoto thought about visiting Inko Midoriya, who had moved in after her son's tragic death, but he never had the courage.

The only real change was everyone's surprise when Shoto showed up using his quirk completely, something he hadn't done before. The first time he had interacted with others he was also greeted with amazement. For Shoto it was natural. No matter what they said, Izuku had been real to him and the changes he had helped him achieve too.

Life went on, until one Sunday morning, weeks before the provisional license test, when Uraraka went down to the kitchen, sleepy and stumbling, looking around, looking for someone.

"Has anyone seen Deku?"

Kaminari blinked slowly from the counter: "Who?"

"Deku." Uraraka frowned. "Izuku Midoriya?"

Shoto broke the cup he was washing.

............................................. ..

Unlike Shoto, Uraraka had cried. Like Shoto, she had only believed it when she saw the headstone.

"He loves All Might. And he ... and he is very smart! His quirk is similar to mine, so he always helped me... "

"Like yours?" Aizawa-sensei asked, looking at Shoto, who was also confused.

"Yeah." She sobbed. "He levitated objects."

....................................................

Iida was next. And he was just as stressed as Uraraka, his logical mind trying to understand when someone told him that his best friend didn't exist. Or had existed, but never known him.

"He saved me from Stain."

Aizawa-sensei ran a hand over his face, exhausted: "The heroes on the field saved you, Iida. They arrived on time. "

Iida stubbornly denied: "His quirk is healing, he healed me when Stain attacked me. How can you not remember him? "

Aizawa-sensei exchanged a look with Director Nedzu on hearing this.

...................................................... ..

Kirishima was next and then Yaoyorozu. Shoto noticed Bakugou getting more and more agitated whenever one of them talked about Midoriya. Perhaps because he had known him for so long but he had not yet experienced what they did.

Maybe he was scared. Maybe he wanted to see him too, Shoto couldn't say.

They had studied together all their lives, grown up together, and Shoto realized that for some reason Bakugou blamed himself for what had happened.

When Yaoyorozu left the room, her face bathed in tears, they gathered in the dorm room. The others already knew the situation, but no one knew what to say or explain what had happened, no one remembered him but them.

"You know, he said something to me when I last saw him," Uraraka spoke quietly, huddled against Iida, her face very pale. "He told me..."

"...I'm still here." Yaoyorozu interrupted her. The five looked at each other, nodding in agreement. "All of us?"

They did not understand what that meant.

.................................................

Shoto and Bakugou did not pass the provisional license test.

Everyone woke up in the middle of the night with an explosion coming from Bakugou's room.

Kirishima was the first to get there, his quirk protecting him while the other one destroyed everything around him. Someone had run to call Aizawa-sensei. Bakugou was shouting and screaming, calling Midoriya's name over and over.

Shoto froze at the door, looking at the wall and floor covered with papers.

One of them stuck to his foot and he crouched down to pick it up, catching the air when he saw what was written, lines and lines repetitively.

"I'm still here I'm still here I'm still here. "

When Aizawa-sensei arrived and finally deactivated Bakugou's quirk, he fell into Kirishima's arms. Aizawa-sensei told everyone to leave, closing the door.

It was the first time he had seen Bakugou cry.

............................................. ..

In the following days, no one touched on the subject, so he was surprised when Bakugou came to him after one of their sessions.

Bakugou didn't remember writing the lines, but he remembered the dream.

"I fought him. I remember him at USJ, at the camp, in Kamino. He was always there. "

"Do you remember his quirk?"

Bakugou looked at him strangely, but nodded slowly, hands in his pocket as they walked to the dormitory.

"Yeah, I remember."

................................................

It was Bakugou who first realized that Kamino was the common denominator. Everyone who had been to Kamino had dreamed of Izuku. They all had a different story with some things in common.

Always a different quirk, a different moment when he entered the hero class. And always the same parting phrase: I'm still here.

The teachers were intrigued, investigating, they knew, but the surprise came when All Might, in his thin and sick form, came to him one afternoon, his expression tired and sad.

He had also dreamed of Izuku.

............................................. ..

This time Shoto knew he was dreaming because it was a common dream of his. He was at home, watching himself watching his mother in the kitchen on the phone. He knew how that dream ended. He could still feel the pain on his face and chest when he heard her words.

When the dream reached its climax, a hand touched his. He looked to the side and Izuku was there, in his All Might hoodie and big green eyes. He smiled at Shoto and pulled him by the hand, away from the sound of the kettle and screaming.

Shoto followed him quietly, stepping out of the house and into strange streets, his hand warm in his.

"It's okay, Shoto." His voice spoke softly, echoing in the streetlamps. "I am here."

Shoto squeezed his hand back and was pulled into a comforting hug. His voice whispered in his ear, echoing in his head again and again.

"I'm still here."

.................................... ..

Shoto started to dream about Izuku every night. The scenarios changed, but he was always there, holding his hand, or appearing beside him when he needed the most. His All Might hoodie as he spoke the iconic phrase, chasing away his fears and motivating him.

At the end of each dream, however, he always said the same thing: "I'm still here."

And each night the sentence grew faster and more desperate.

.......................................

"We are losing him," Uraraka commented from the end of the table, dark circles under her pale face. None of them seemed to be sleeping well. The teachers were more and more concerned.

Shoto remembered the last dream.

U.A's pool was frozen and Izuku was in it, trying to find a way out. As much as he tried, Shoto was unable to melt the ice. His face appeared on the surface, his eyes wide open, the reflection of his hand tapping to try to get out: "I'm still here."

He wouldn't be there for long.

............................................. ..

When Shie Hassaikai fell, a little girl was rescued by the team of heroes. Shoto, who was still taking classes for his license, would not know about it until later.

During the rescue, Mirio Togata, the successor to All Might, had lost one of his quirks, but in the end, had managed to finish the rescue mission.

When little Eri was wrapped in his cape and taken to the hospital, the young hero had said how brave she was. In an innocent voice the little girl had commented on something that had paralyzed Eraserhead, who was in the ambulance controlling her quirk:

"Izuku said you were coming, so I didn't have to be scared."

...................................................... ..

In the days that followed, all the heroes who were in the fight against Shie Hassaikai began to dream about Izuku Midoriya.

..........................................................

"It's a telepathic quirk," Nedzu spoke, looking at the heroes around the table. "Due to the impact of reach, an extraordinary quirk."

"Why would anyone use a dead child for this?" Yamada questioned, agitated.

Nedzu looked at Aizawa, who signed in agreement.

"Not all the information between people hits, but the ones that hit were checked by Inko Midoriya and some things only he would know. "

"What you mean?"

"That only Midoriya could be sending these dreams. That there is a chance that he is somehow alive, but as there was cremation it cannot be verified. "

Naomasa had been part of the case because All Might was involved. The man felt guilty for being a villain who he let slip that killed the child. He had ensured that the body they found was Midoriya's, but since no tests had been done, there would always be doubt.

"What about these dreams? What it means?" Kayama asked quietly, thoughtfully. "I'm still here. "

"It's a message," Nedzu stated, looking at the boy's photo on his desk. The nervous pose, an unsightly smile on his face. Looking so ordinary, but so extraordinary. "A call for help."

"A call?"

"Yes. I'm still here, come and find me. "

.......................................... ...

The answer to so many questions started to come up with Kurogiri, or actually, Oboro Shirakumo.

When the extremely emotional encounter ended, Aizawa thought of Midoriya. If they had stolen his friend's body and turned it into a noumu, how many more could they have done in the same way?

But why would they steal a quirkless boy's body?

............................................. ..

Shoto Todoroki answered that question, without even realizing it.

Aizawa knew that the children got together to talk about Midoriya, about their dreams. He had an extra eye on them, knowing that they were problematic enough to attempt a rescue without even knowing what was going on.

"He talked about Eri, asked if she was okay."

Aizawa sighed from the door. The little girl, who had now become part of U.A, of whom he was the guardian, always asked about Izuku. Apparently, she had dreamed of him for weeks. He was the reason she didn't hate her quirk so much and ran away and asked for help.

"He asked me about his father," Todoroki commented, looking uncomfortable in interacting with others but trying. "He told me to be careful with his father."

"Hisashi Midoriya?" Bakugou, looking even less comfortable, snorted from where he was at the counter, an expression of disgust on his face. "The bastard is in America. He didn't even show up for the funeral. "

................................................

Hisashi Midoriya, according to Nedzu's research, never existed.

He came out of nowhere years ago and returned to nothing a few years later. His only photo was from a distance because according to Inko Midoriya he never took pictures. And wasn't that suspicious?

When All Might saw the photo, his face lost all colour.

................................................ ..

Days before preparing the invasion at the hospital, Aizawa finally visited Tartarus.

All for one received him with the same acidity as always, a cruel smile and an expression that he knew more than anyone could imagine.

An expression that changed after a few minutes of conversation, when Inko Midoriya appeared in the room, the expression very serious for such a small woman who always seemed so nervous.

"Hello, Hisashi."

...........................................

Shoto's last dream of Izuku Midoriya was the day before the hospital invasion.

They were both under a bridge. Izuku was sitting on the floor, looking at a spot fixedly.

Even when Shoto came over and sat next to him, he was still looking at the spot.

Shoto noticed that it was a notebook, thrown and burned, the sheets wet and glued.

"It was here that I died." Izuku whispered. "He came from there, out of that sewer. I didn't have a chance. If only I had turned on another corner. "

"If I had made another decision, turned around on another corner. Maybe there's another me out there, in another universe, living the life that I should have lived, you know? "

His breath quickened and Shoto took his hand, not knowing what to say.

"Do you know what was most ironic? My quirk appeared when I was dying. It could have been fire breathing, it could have been telekinesis. Or healing, or anything, but it wasn't. All I could do with it was listen to what he thought before he killed me. To hear that he felt no remorse, that I was nothing but one more. "

"I'm so sorry." And what more could be said than that? Shoto didn't know.

"It's all right." Izuku smiled in his direction, his face very pale and covered with tears. "It only hurt in the begining."

"Not. It is not all right." He squeezed the other's hand tightly and his head fell on his shoulders. The two stayed like that for a long time, watching the rain.

Shoto pulled Izuku to him and hugged him tightly. How could Izuku not be real?

"I'm still here, Shoto."

Shoto loved Izuku. This was real.

If only it were enough.

"I'm still here."

....................................................

Hisashi Midoriya, actually All For One, in an act that perhaps he even thought to be some kind of fatherly feeling, had decided that his son would not be dead permanently.

So he had ordered his body to be stolen and replaced before it was cremated. His transformation was not like the others, his body was not changed, or deformed. Perhaps, in the monsters' mind, it was an act of love, to let his son be used as an experiment by a cruel and crazy doctor, Aizawa could not say.

He certainly didn't know his son well enough to know about his stubbornness, as even during that forced coma, he would try to get help. They lost him in Kamino, never knew he was there among the noumus in that shed and he was taken away. They lost him in Shie Hassaikai, when his body was in the care of Yakuza, being studied in exchange for the deal. Until Shigakari took him back after discovering that the strange noumu was important to his beloved sensei.

They had lost him twice, let him slip through their fingers.

When Aizawa entered the hospital, where a historic battle would take place, with destruction, losses and profound changes in society, there was another tube beside Shigakari.

A body floated in the water, attached to cables and devices, a mask on his small, freckled face, green hair floating in the dark water. There, so close, his voice seemed to echo in the minds of every hero around him, of every student who evacuated people in the city.

Shigakari's tube broke into pieces, but his tube was left intact, no hero touched it.

When Aizawa touched the glass in the middle of the chaos, turning off the devices, green eyes opened to the world for the first time in so long, looking directly at him.

In a few minutes, everything there would be disintegrated and the battle of their lives would begin.

In a few moments, many would die.

At that moment, Izuku Midoriya was still there. And he had finally been found.

"It's all right," Aizawa whispered, taking the boy in his arms. "Do you know why?"

Izuku Midoriya smiled and for the first time in a long time, he felt real.

"Because you are here ."