I opened my eye's and looked at the clock, 4.39am. Wow, I'd slept for nearly three hours, it was better than last night. My sleep pattern was absolutely ruined. I had trouble falling to sleep and when I did go to sleep I had terrible nightmares.
I got up quietly and used the bathroom, I didn't want to wake Matt, he didn't know about my sleeping issues.
I looked at him as I climbed back into bed, he was sound asleep.
I wanted to touch him but I didn't want to wake him. I turned over and stared out the window instead.
Matt had been so good to me over the last few weekd, supporting me but maybe Jacob had been right that Matt wouldn't want to touch me once he'd finished.
Matt hadn't touched me since. He'd given me a ton of hugs and friendly kisses just nothing intimate. It was like he wasn't interested.
I felt a tear run down my cheek. Jacob had ruined everything, he'd promised he would.
I layed there trying to go back to sleep but I couldn't. I thought about getting out of bed, but I couldn't be bothered doing that.
Aroung six I heard Matt stir and get up and use the bathroom. It was still dark so he didn't know I was awake.
I felt him get back into bed and settle himself then I rolled over and looked at him, thinking.
I'd been so lucky to have this amazing man in my life but what if it was coming to an end? I didn't think I'd be able to live with that. I was so in love with him even if he didn't love me anymore.
"Did you sleep at all?" He suddenly asked.
"A bit."
"Ana maybe you should go back and see your doctor, maybe he could give you something."
"I just need time." I told him quietly.
I turned back over, staring out the window once again.
"Do you feel like going out tonight?" He asked me.
No, I didn't, I didn't want to go out ever again.
"We can have dinner, talk." He suggested.
Talk. Yeah I knew what he wanted to talk about.
I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
"Okay." I whispered.
"Good."
I layed there listening to Matt snore softly. Where would I go? What would I do?
I needed him, more than anything in the world.
He just didn't need me anymore.