I frowned out of the window at the fields rolling by. Where was he taking me? I'd seen a sign saying welcome to Essex at some point which helped me orientate myself a bit but I was still so confused.
"You ok?" Elliott asked, squeezing my hand.
I glanced down at our interlocked fingers, "Yeah, just intrigued. Where are you taking me?"
"We're nearly there, just wait and see." He replied mysteriously.
I rolled my eyes and let out a small impatient huffing noise. Elliott chuckled and then after a minute whispered, "Look out of the window, we're here."
My head flew up, taking in the surroundings including a large sign welcoming us to Colchester Zoo. I felt the smile growing on my face, "The zoo?"
It was such a classic, such a normal date idea that I wanted to laugh. I was glad he had told me we might be doing a lot of walking now so I was dressed in my comfiest trainers rather than the heeled boots Cara had suggested.
As we pulled up, Elliott pulled out a baseball cap from the pocket of the seat in front of him and tugged it on and pulling it down low on his face.
I raised my eyebrows and grinned, "Does that ever actually work as a disguise?"
Elliott shrugged, looking more than a little embarrassed, "Sometimes. It's easier places like this. People so wrapped up in their own days out they're less likely to notice me."
I nodded, it made sense really. I probably passed hundreds of people a day but I doubted I could pick any of them out of a line up. We just had to hope there weren't any super fans out there today.
Stepping out of the car and onto the uneven ground of the car park I stumbled slightly, using the car to steady myself. Breathing in the cold morning air and reaching back into the car I grabbed my coat. Despite my long sleeve top and jumper I was still freezing.
The zoo was quiet as we approached. A Friday morning, in autumn, and during normal school hours meant that it had attracted an audience of couples with a day off work and mother's and father's with younger children.
"Here is your map and a list of feeding and talk times, we hope you enjoy your visit to Colchester Zoo." The distracted worker barely glanced at either of us and I was filled with hope that perhaps, this could work. Perhaps we could be together and do normal things.
Elliott wrapped an arm round my back, guiding me towards the turnstiles. "Are there any animals you really want to see?"
I stepped through and took in the sign directing to the different exhibits. "Wolves definitely....and the Africa bit. I love elephants."
"Your wish is my command." Elliott gave an exaggerated bow and gestured that I should follow him with a flourish of his arm.
I looked back over my shoulder as the two security guards who had come with us, following at a discreet distance. Or as discreet as two muscular men in dark glasses could be.
We reached the wolves first and my breath caught as one appeared out of the trees near the back and loped towards us. It came up almost alongside the glass we were standing against, intelligent eyes taking us in, before turning and heading up onto a wooden platform where it flopped down alongside another already there.
"Did you see that?" I squealed, flapping my hand at Elliott, "They're so beautiful."
I looked over at him when he didn't immediately reply and found him watching me and smiling. "What?"
"Nothing," his smile didn't drop, "I just love seeing you excited."
My insides flipped and my mind instantly thought of something a lot dirtier than I guessed he had intended. From his chuckle my thoughts were clearly displayed across my face. An open book my Nanna always said.
"Stop it." I flapped a hand at him, blushing bright red.
"I didn't say anything." Elliott raised his hands in the universal, I-didn't-do-it pose.
"You thought it, I know you did."
"Thought what?"
I huffed at his innocent expression and turned back to look out at the wolves. He laughed and gently turned me back to face him, "I want to make you excited love, just maybe the zoo isn't the best place for that." He whispered into my ear, crowding me so my back pressed against the exhibit glass.
When his head began to pull back I met his eyes and made a split second decision. My body reacting before my head had even made up it's mind. My lips pressed to his and I felt his jolt of surprise before they responded.
Suddenly his job didn't matter, the guards who had turned half away from us to give us the illusion of privacy, didn't matter. The press. The stress. All of it fell away and we were just a boy and a girl exploring our attraction.
When he eventually pulled back, my eyes fluttered open again and met his. "You blow my mind Phoebe Summers." He whispered.
I raised my eyebrows, "Me? Have you seen yourself?"
Elliott pulled back a little more and held out his hand for mine, "Oh I'm sexy and I know it." He joked, breaking the sexual tension in an instant.
"Come on, let's look at some other animals." I smiled, tugging his hand to pull him along with me.
We joked and explored and joked some more. The more I got to know him I realised that so much of the way he behaved around others was an act.
When he was with me there was no bad boy. No misunderstood rocker. Just a sweet, smiling guy who wanted to make me laugh.
How much of the rumours I had read about him were true? I had hardly seen any signs of most of them since we met.
"I have a show tonight," he said suddenly, as we took in the savannah themed exhibits, turning his back on the elephants to look at me,"Will you come?" He asked, somewhat shyly.
The look on his face was one I hadn't seen before. A boyish hope almost. Eyes begging me to come with him.
"I'd love to." I gave him a small smile in return and he whooped, scooping me up and spinning me round.
My ringing phone interupts us, and giggling I pat his arm to get him to let me down. It took a second for me to find my balance grabbing his arm to stop me falling as I pulled the phone out.
The number on the screen was unfamiliar but I decided to answer it anyway, "Hello?"
"Miss Summers?"
"Yes?"
"My name's Dean and I'm a paramedic with South East Coast Ambulance Service. I'm here with your Nan, Margret-"
His words seemed to fade out and I felt my face drop as I scrambled to understand what he was saying. Elliott immediately noticed, his concern written across his face as he mouthed, "Are you ok?"
"-fallen...precaution...meet us there?"
"I'm sorry?" I whispered, still reeling as I tried to understand what he was saying.
Dean repeated himself calmly and slowly, "We are going to take her to Darent Valley Hospital. Did you want to meet us there? Have you got someone who can take you?"
"I...yes. Yes, I'll meet you there." I replied.
He hung up and I stayed frozen for a moment with the phone against my ear. "Phoebe? What's happened?" Elliott's urgent tone cut through my panic and it was like I burst to life.
"I have to go...have to get home...my Nanna." My words came out in a garbled mess as I began hurrying back towards the entrance to get to the car park.
"Woah, slow down. What happened to your Nanna? I need you to focus Phoebe. Take a deep breath." Elliott gripped my shoulders, forcing me to look at him as he spoke.
I mirrored his deep breath, my legs like jelly and hands shaking uncontrollably. "My Nanna has had a fall, I need to get to her. To Darent Valley Hospital." I explained, tears filling my eyes.
Elliott looked over my shoulder, "How quick can you get us there?"
"About an hour and a half." One of the guards confirmed.
Elliott nodded, wrapping his arm tightly around me and hurrying towards the exit. I let him guide me, too shocked to do anything else.
I should never have left her. Should never have gone this far from her.
Guilt filled my chest and choked me as we slipped into the car, Elliott immediately slids into the middle seat to be closer to me. His feet planted either side of the fan and knees awkwardly pressed against the back of each seat.
I wanted to protest that there was no point him being uncomfortable as he reached over and strapped my belt around me. Then his arm looped round my shoulders and I buried my face in his chest and cried.
"Does she fall often?" Elliott asked when my sobs finally quietened down.
"Not really but she's been getting worse." I straightened up, swiping my sleeve across my eyes to brush away the remaining tear hovering on my lashes, "I should have been there."
"How were you to know it might happen? You can't put your life on hold just in case something happens." Elliott attempted to reassure.
"I can...I should have." Tears filled my eyes again and I looked away from him.
"Have you considered placing her in a home? We had to do that with my Grandad a couple of years ago and he's really happy there now. We don't have to worry if he falls because the right people are there to help him." Elliott explained, placing a hand on mine in my lap.
I looked at it for a second before pushing it away, "She's not a problem for me to get rid of. I should have been there, end of story."
"If you need helping paying for it I could-"
"No!" Now I was outraged, "No, I am perfectly capable of paying for whatever she needs thank you very much."
Elliott leaned back, "I didn't mean to offend you, I just wanted to help."
"Yeah, well you did." I didn't recognise the petulant voice that came out of me.
We lapsed into silence the rest of the journey and I refused to look at him.
As we pulled into the car park he finally spoke again. "Do you want me to come in? I can't stay long because of the show tonight but-"
"No thank you, we will be fine." My clipped tone replied.
Elliott nodded a little sadly, "Let me know how she's doing and if you need anything." He said as I already began opening the door before we had rolled to a stop.
"Sure." I said, pushing the door shut behind me and turning quickly before those sad eyes of his could make me feel all kinds of guilt I just didn't have time for right now.