Nas urged me to tell dad and Elaine everything I told him about Penn, so I did. Ever since then, we've been working together to find Penn as quietly as we can. So far, they've placed Penn in Philadelphia and near UPenn several times during the past two years.
The areas are fairly broad, so it'll take a while to narrow down a few possible locations, but they're getting closer every day.
Other than my parents and siblings, Lennox is the only person who knows about what I'm going through right now. I don't have the heart to dump anything else on Daya, she knows all about Penn, but she's going through enough right now. Between her mom and the problems Lennox and I suspect she's having with Elon, Daya doesn't need anything else stressing her out.
As for Lee, I don't plan on telling him anything until everything is handled. I completely trust Lee with the information, but the plaguing thought of him judging me for my terrible past scares me.
Ryan pops up at my job once or twice a week and reads those weird poems to me. It seems as if it doesn't matter how many times I tell him I have a boyfriend or lack interest in him, he always finds his way back with his poems. I haven't told Lee about that either, I don't even want to imagine how pissed he'd be.
Brynn hasn't popped up on Lennox, Bentley, or me, but we told everyone about her failed ambush on Lennox and we're still keeping an eye out for the short lunatic.
I poured the brownie mix into the pan and slid it into the heated oven. It's been a while since I cooked or baked anything in my own kitchen.
I've spent most of my summer in Philadelphia at Lennox's apartment and Bentley's house. Lennox dropped me off at the condo an hour ago, she was supposed to go to the store down the street for some vanilla ice cream to pair with the brownies. She's taking way too long.
I heard the lock to the front door click and I laughed to myself. I untied the messy apron from my waist and tossed it over a nearby chair.
"Now, Lennox, you know good and well it doesn't take that long to-" I stopped my rant once I saw Lee sitting his bags down with a carton of vanilla ice cream in his hands.
I stood there in shock and stared at my beautiful boyfriend. Lee was supposed to be in Toronto for another week, I was counting.
"Surprise."
I giggled and jumped into Lee's open arms, he rocked us back and forth and allowed me to ramble excited nonsense to him.
My baby is finally home.
Scampi ran into the living room and began to bark below us, Lee picked him up without letting me down and allowed the furry poodle to bask in his love too.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming in early? I could've picked you up."
"Lennox got me, I wanted to surprise you." Lee laughed and let Scampi down.
Lee tightened the hold of my exposed legs around his waist and kissed me from my chest and neck to my cheeks and lips, I allowed him to shower me with the pleasurable kisses before I realized what he was doing.
"Lee, you just got here." I laughed once the kisses became ticklish and more playful, he sat the carton of ice cream near the fridge and laughed too.
"So? I missed you and my hand ain't do enough." Lee walked to his bedroom without taking his lips off mine.
"What about Lennox?"
"I told her to give us a few hours."
I bit my lip and watched Lee's eyes trail down my body, I could only guess the sinful things he's probably thinking.
"I wanna eat, mama, you gone deny me?"
I eagerly shook my head and watched him pull the thin straps of my tight romper down.
"Of course not, it's yours."
Lee gently tossed my small body onto his fluffy bed and climbed on top of me with a wink.
I watched Lee get comfortable in the leather chair and smiled.
Lee was very serious about me giving him his first tattoo, so serious that he was willing to get it a week after he made it back to Philadelphia. I made an appointment for him on my day off and spent a few days sketching the beautiful tattoo.
"Okay, I won't lie to you. It's gonna hurt and it's probably gonna feel like it's taking forever, but it'll be worth it."
"I know, I trust you, mama." Lee smiled and leaned back as he offered his exposed wrist to me.
I adjusted my nitrile gloves and pulled the cart holding all of my equipment closer to me. Lee stuck his lips out for a kiss and I gave it to him. I've learned that Lee has a high pain tolerance, but the first tattoo can be rough for anyone.
I took one more look at the sketch and turned the needle on.
"Okay, we're done." I cleaned the tattoo and watched Lee look down at his wrist.
To my surprise, he took the pain well.
I followed his inspiration tattoo as closely as I could. I tattooed an active wave with vivid blue watercolors raging through it, under the biggest crest of the wave, I clearly wrote Healani's date of birth in Roman numerals.
Lee lifted his wrist and stared at it with amazement dancing through his eyes.
Tattooing holds a special place in my heart, I love drawing and expressing myself through art, but seeing someone's positive reaction to your passion is truly uplifting. I was especially nervous to tattoo Lee, I wanted to make him proud and appreciate Healani perfectly.
Well, as perfectly as I could.
But, judging by the looks on Lee's face, I might have done that.
"Zola... I might cry. This is beautiful." Lee pulled me into a hug with his other arm and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you, I'm glad you like it."
"Man, like it? I love this." Lee lifted his wrist higher and continued to stare at it.
I wrapped his wrist and went over cleaning and caretaking procedures, even though I'm sure I'll be taking care of the tattoo during its first weeks.
Once Lee wrote it all down on his phone, he called Healani, who cried once she saw it.
I'm beyond proud.
I told Lee to wait in the car while I cleaned up after myself. Shortly after he left, I finished up and turned the lights of the booth off.
"Your boyfriend refused to leave without paying." I took the small stack of money from Amber with a laugh.
Lee's too stubborn for his own good.
"Thank you, Amber, have a good one." I exited the shop and stopped once I felt a presence behind me.
Ryan smiled once I faced him and pulled his signature red notepad out of his pocket.
Shit, Lee can't see him here.
"Ryan, you have to go-"
"I can't, you haven't heard your poem yet," Ryan cleared his throat and flipped to a scribbled page, "Our children would be lightskin, curly hair, light eyes. Our children would be lightskin, a boy or girl, by surprise."
I sucked in a breath and tried to walk away, it's obvious that Ryan doesn't realize the danger he's in. Ryan pulled me back and shook his head.
"I'm not done yet. Our children would be lightskin, beautiful and ideal. Our children would be lightskin, we can name them Jaiden or-"
In the matter of a blink, Ryan was on the ground and his notepad was sliding away from him. I glanced behind me and Lee stood there, looking incredibly angry.
"Lee, wait-"
"My chocolate drop, stop him!"
"The fuck you over here talking about lightskin children and chocolate drops for?"
Ryan crawled away from Lee and I kept the pair as far away from each other as I could. I wanted to avoid this, I figured that I would've eventually gotten Ryan to go away and Lee wouldn't have ever known about the dumb poems and regular pop-ups.
That's out of the window now.
"Don't let him come any closer, tootsie pop!"
Lee stopped and scrunched his face up, he looked away from Ryan and finally looked to me.
"What the hell is going on here, Zola? Why is this man talking about your lightskin children and calling you 'tootsie pop' and 'chocolate drop?'" Lee waited for an answer and I was too stuck to give one.
This probably looks really bad.
Lee nodded and gently grabbed my hand, he walked us to the car and opened the door for me without a word.
The car ride has been extremely quiet the whole time, I can tell Lee is pissed because he's gripping the steering wheel and didn't turn the radio on, he hasn't even tried to touch me.
I took a deep breath and dared to look over at him. Lee's eyes were trained on the road and he kept it that way.
I hate this. I didn't want any of this to happen, I wanted to deal with it myself and move on, but things can never transpire calmly. Now, Lee's upset with me, and I hate it when Lee's upset with me.
"I'm sorry, Lee... I'm not messing around with him, if that's what you're thinking." I muttered the brief sentence and continued to watch Lee's profile.
He shook his head and pulled into a nearby parking lot. He doesn't like to drive while he's angry or having a heated conversation.
"I know you got enough sense not to do some shit like that, Zola. What I can't understand is why you didn't tell me about him randomly popping up at your job to read you dumb ass poems in the first place? You can't tell me that's the first time he did that, I saw that notepad full of poetry."
"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd react the way you did. Don't you know you could get arrested for that? You punch first and ask questions later, and that's dangerous as hell, Lee. You have too much going for you to continuously fight people over me."
"The hell you mean? I don't care about none of that, I'll always beat the hell outta someone for you, that's just that."
"But you shouldn't, Lee. I love the fact that you can protect me, trust me, I do, but you can't punch everyone. You have to think about your future and safety."
Lee sighed and rested his forehead against the steering wheel.
"I know, I'm sorry, mama."
"It's okay. I'm sorry for not telling you in the first place, I should have."
I've always admired the maturity and security Lee and I share in our relationship.
We're not perfect at all, we fuss and bicker with each other, but at the end of it all, we'll always talk it out. If we need space, we'll give it to each other, but Lee never allows an argument to create an unnecessary strain in our relationship.
We take the responsibility of realizing when we've done something wrong or hurt the other's feelings, we never allow petty arguments to turn into days without talking, and we never go to bed angry at each other.
Through our relationship, I've learned about mutual respect and equality. I never thought I'd experience a healthy relationship, I always thought I'd have to take all of the blame and bring more to the table.
But I don't have to do that with Lee, I'm allowed to make mistakes and grow with him, and that's all I can really ask for.
"I just want you to tell me about things like that. I worry about you getting forced into things you don't like. I wanna be able to help and support you, but I can't if I don't know about it."
"I know, but, I'm getting better at saying 'no' and standing up for myself. But, that doesn't mean I should keep anything from you, and I won't anymore."
"I'll work on reducing the violence."
"Thank you."
Lee nodded and completely faced me with his hand out.
"We good, baby?"
"We're good, baby." I dapped his hand, the way he taught me in Toronto, and hugged him.
~
We communicate around these parts.
Riddle: One of the four words does not belong with the other three. Which word does not belong? What is it that the others have in common?
1. Green, yellow, red, blue.
Answer: 1. Green. Yellow, red, and blue are primary colors, green is not.
-Until next time, lovers 🎈