𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡 - 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡
•••
That one night with Charlie, Brooklyn, Noah and Alex was more fun than expected, Brooklyn and Noah got more drunk than i thought possible, so much so that Alex had to strip Noah down to his boxers after he spilt vodka and vomit down himself.
Brooklyn was more than ecstatic when i called her and told her to get her ass over to Charlies house and to not look homeless because the guys would be there, meaning Noah and Alex.
Although looking a mess is something that doesn't concern me around the three of them, i knew she'd be pissed if I didn't prepare her.
After seeing Brooklyn leave, it made me realise how much i do miss her and how much i miss having another girl around, because even though Charlie would talk to me about anything and i mean anything, periods included, he even made me teach him about them, side effects and all but it just wasn't the same.
I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed, after Brook left, I've been in a slump.
I haven't slept in two days other than a 30 minute nap when i fell asleep whilst doing some last minute homework in the library.
I used to love to sleep, I'd take every chance i could to fit a nap in. Sometimes even napping at brooklyns house when we we're supposed to be doing something fun.
But now it was as if a getting a good nights sleep was a battle against myself, with the only chance of winning being double dosing my prescribed sleeping meds.
At six AM i made the executive decision to turn my phone off, shut all windows and curtains, take some sleeping pills and crawl into bed in complete darkness. Letting myself wallow in self pity and depression and a sad spotify playlist, it wasn't the best idea but it worked. Occasionally.
The thought of going to school brought a tightness in my chest and A panic attack in school didn't sound too pleasant, well at least to me it didn't.
I knew that the moment Charlie realises I'm not in school he'll text me to ask where i am, if I'm late and if I'm okay, but i just couldn't bring myself to text him prior. Reaching out felt like too much of an effort and not something i was willing to do. I just wanted to be alone for the moment.
Having a low social battery was becoming a bit of a personalised trait at this point.
I've always enjoyed my own company anyway.
•••
I slept until almost seven PM, I didn't sleep nearly as long as i wanted to, through the night would've been ideal. Or you know to not wake up in general.
But beggars can't be choosers and all that.
Cooking something sounded like too much of a chore and quite frankly i was still feeling fatigued from the pills so i stuck to a bottle of water and decided that would suffice.
I situated myself on the couch in front of the tv and wrapped myself up in a blanket before switching on the tv and put on old Americas Next Top Model re-runs and allowed myself to drift back off into a dreamless, drug induced sleep.
What must've been hours felt like minutes as the persistent, loud knocking on the front door continued. I've ignored it for at least fifteen minutes but whoever was on the other side was showing no mercy for me or my sleep.
Grumbling under my breath, i slide off the couch with the blanket still wrapped round me and make my way to the door, pulling it open wide with agitated force.
"Yes?" I say through gritted teeth, although it probably came out softer than i intended, i was definitely still feeling sleep deprived.
"Oh thank god, you're okay" Charlie exclaimed with a voice so loud it made me wince.
Charlie's eyes raked over my less that presentable appearance and his eyes softened immediately and held concern.
I must look like the epitome of disheveled and rough.
Fuck.
"I'm fine" i grumble, walking away from the door and towards the couch again, allowing him to come inside and close the door behind me.
I practically throw myself on the couch with my knees up to my chest as Charlie tentatively sits beside me with a worried look plastered across his face which i could tell that he's trying to cover up.
"We are not watching re runs of tyra banks telling people to smize." Charlie shakes his head, snatching the remote from me.
"Okay"
Charlie doesn't say anything for a while, surfing the tv channels before settling for a boxing movie, creed.
Michael B Jordan could get it.
He knew i liked the movie.
And Michael fucking B Jordan.
I begin picking at my cuticles, partly ignoring the movie, i just simply wasn't in the mood.
My mind feels empty but at the same time its running wild. Thinking of everything and anything that could possibly keep me feeling so low.
"Do you want food? Chinese?" Charlie asks, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch, and drapes it over himself.
"I'm good thanks" i say, i felt like a bitch, i could tell he was trying to help me, make me happy, make me eat something for the first time in over twenty four others other than pills.
"Alright whats up?" Charlie says, swivelling his body so he's facing me, although I can't bring myself to make eye contact with him.
Charlie shuffles closer snd softly grabs my chin, turning my face to look at him, although i still didn't look into his piercing blue eyes.
His gaze could be compared to the point of a knife. That's just how piercing it was, enough to make my facade crumble as if it was the roman empire.
"Nyx, look at me" his voice soft.
Alright, this is it, I plaster a smile on my face and look into his eyes. "What is it?" I say with a slightly high pitch voice and what i hope are happy eyes.
"Whats up" he reiterates
Christ.
I could feel the tears prick at my eyes as i look at Charlies soft smile and warm, concerned eyes. I willed myself to blink them back but my smile was wavering.
He gave me a knowing look and that was all it took for the water-works to truly begin, it was like the floodgates opened.
A tear or two rolled down my cheeks and i let out a soft whimper, covering my face in my hands.
"Oh come here" i hear charlie say over the sound of my sniffles. I felt his warmth before I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me into his chest.
He wrap his arms around me, one softly rubbing up and down my back whilst the other held my head to his chest.
"It's okay" he whispered into my hair.
We stayed like that for could've been hours for all i know, before Charlie picked me up bridal style and carried me upstairs heading towards my bedroom. Somehow he managed to carry me the whole way, flick the bedroom light on, pull back my covers and place me in there and then wrap me up, all without hitting my ankle on the door frame or dropping me because I was heavy.
"I'll be back" he whispers.
What was probably less than ten minutes, he returns with two bowls and two mugs on a tray. He settles them down on my bedside table before climbing into my bed beside me, pulling out my laptop and began playing another Netflix show. He pulls me closer to him, so I'm leaning slightly against him, and hands me a mug of hot chocolate.
By now my tears have simmered down to sniffles and the occasional hiccup.
"Drink up buttercup" he smiles at me, whilst placing a bowl of tortilini in my lap.
I drank the mugs contents and ate a few mouthfuls of the spinach and ricotta pasta, before passing him the half empty bowl for him to finish.
Even though i wanted to finish it, i couldn't bring myself to do it.
After that Charlie pulled me into him fully, my head on his chest, my leg draped over his as he stroked my hair, playing with the loose ends.
The hiccups had faded away but charlie continued to hold me, feeling myself drift off into sleep due to the exhaustion of crying for at least an hour.
I wouldn't ever of thought when charlie punched Elijah that one time, that years later, we'd be here. Him and I wrapped up in my bed, watching Netflix softly play in the background as he strokes my hair, consoling my tears and cheering me up.
"It's okay" he whispered, kissing the top of my head.
And maybe i want it to stay this way.
•••
AN// I'm going to post this one and then probably not post for ages because I want to re-write this entire book. I had an epiphany were I realised I hate my writing style. Its very juvenile. I mean I wrote chapters 1 - 16 in 2020 so it makes sense but still.
I think I just get very embarrassed when writing chapters so I don't write with my full effort, thus producing half arsed chapters like this one.
But on the other hand, I had an idea for a new book so I'm kind of playing around with that at the moment. I don't have the full plot written out yet but I think I might write the first couple of chapters and publish them, sort of like a pilot??
Any writing tips would be greatly appreciated!!