"Niall, mate, I love you. But for Christ's sake, get off your fucking phone!" Louis yanks his luggage up the drive, complaining about five things at once. "Why is the fucking cottage so fucking far away from where the fucking car is fucking parked?"
"Dad thought you might need the exercise." I deadpan, refreshing my phone again, hoping for a stupid email from Harry. At this point, I would take one of his signature watermelon spams over nothing at all. I've never gotten one before, but Liam shouts about it in the locker room probably once a week.
"Tell me I'm fat one more time, and I'm going to sit my fat arse on your chest until your ribs concave." Louis warns, yanking his luggage again. I sputter a laugh, putting my phone away and focusing on the view to our right. Sometimes I wish my parent's had kept me in Ireland for schooling, because it's gorgeous. New York is great too, but... Ireland, though.
"Aren't you glad you didn't wear those heels you wanted to bring?" I muse and watch as Louis nods his head vigorously.
"Walking this drive in those shoes would have brought me a premature death that rivaled James Dean's."
"Well, I don't know about that. Car crashes are pretty grand ways to go."
"Lots of blood, though. It would ruin my outfit, for sure."
"Just wear last season shit, like, all the time." I shrug, following Louis toward the sidewalk that's now only a few feet away.
"This is true." He notes, sighing heavily for the umpteenth time. "I hate walking, dear God."
"Complain louder." I say. "Then maybe God will care."
"I FUCKING HATE WALKING THIS FAR, JESUS. MAKE IT STOP." Louis shouts at the top of his lungs.
I wait a moment before answering. "Nope, looks like God still doesn't give a fuck about your first world problems."
"It's because I'm gay, isn't it?"
Louis' laughter mixes with my own, both of us laughing at his remark. We reach the cottage's porch just as my mom opens the door to greet us.
"Niall! Louis! How are my babies?" My mom holds out her arms to hug us both at once, and I laugh some more.
"Hey, mom."
"For Christ's sake, we send you to America for three years, and you're already calling me 'mom'." My mom swats at my ass, and Louis coughs to cover a laugh. "How are you Louis? You look lovely today."
"Thanks, Maura!" Louis beams at the compliment, as usual. "I've been great. Mom wanted me to tell you that she found that winery you were talking about. Said she loved their 1968 something or other that she tried."
"Well, why the fuck didn't she just call me herself?" My mom shakes her head. "Don't swear boys. It's a nasty habit."
"We'll try not to." Louis and I answer simultaneously, and my mom rolls her eyes.
"Your rooms on are on the south side, just like last time." She opens the door up wider so that we can fit our luggage through it. "Aunt Jeannie and Aunt Sarah are on their way. They'll be here for a few days only. After that, it'll just be you boys, Madi, and Greg here, cousin-wise."
I hear Louis mumble something about Madi, but I ignore his complaints. "Thanks, mom. Louis and I are probably going to go into town to eat tonight."
"Have fun and be safe. Just text me if you plan on being later than sunset."
"Will do, Maura." Louis answers for me, and my mom pads her way down the long hallway toward her and my dad's wing.
My phone vibrates, and I go to pull it out of my pocket, but with one glare from Louis, I drop my hand and sigh. "I'm waiting for a message from-"
"Harry. I know."
"I really want waffles." I say the first thing that pops into my mind.
"With like chocolate sauce and strawberries." Louis hums, opening the door to the room he always stays on. "Yes, please."
"We're talking about food, not food play. Slow your roll."
"I just want to lick whipped cream off of a toned chest!" Louis groans, leaning against the door post.
"You poor, sex depraved teenager."
"Just because you can go a year and a half without it, that doesn't mean everybody else can." He huffs and pulls his large suitcase into his bedroom. I do the same with my bags in my own room, finally taking out my phone to check the message I got. As hoped, it's from Harry. LA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
Not me? :( I reply. Louis bounds into my room, bouncing on his toes and exploring (snooping) around. I lay back on my bed as he yanks open the window curtains.
"Let some light in, Dracula."
"Go masturbate, and leave me alone."
"I thought we were going out to eat? I have the munchies." He lays down on the bed, staring at me. "I want food."
"Are you high?"
"What the actual fuck, Niall?!" Louis' eyebrows snap together. "I ask for a cheeseburger, and you accuse me of doing drugs? How rude."
My phone vibrates again, and I check it without answering Louis. You're a REALLY CLOSE second. city > you, sos
mr. will > you
the student teacher? really?
;)
Awful taste in men. Mr. Boyd is so much better.
"What the hell? You're both crazy." Louis shakes his head, reading my messages over my shoulder. "Everybody knows Bryan from the office is the only bangable school employee."
"Bryan looks like a cross between my brother and Sam Smith." I say, giving Louis a weird look.
"Oh, yeah. Forgot to mention..." Louis smirks. "Your brother is totally bangable."
I push his face away as he laughs. "You're disgusting, you nasty."
"Hmm," Louis flips onto his back. "Two words that describe perfectly what I would do to Greg."
"Louis." I say. "He's my fucking BROTHER. STOP."
My best friend loses it, hiding his face in his hands, laughing so hard that he shakes the bed. "I can't. I have so many issues. The Horan family is too much."
"Does that mean you find me attractive?"
"Jesus, Niall." Louis drops his hands to give me a disappointed once over. "Do you not remember my PowerPoint? No bromo."
-
"Niall!" Madi squeals, rushing to me. I open my arms to grab her and swing her around.
"Hey, Madi! How have you been?"
"Good." She grins. "I lost a tooth."
"I see that." I smile back, setting her down. "Have you been good since Christmas?"
"Yes, I have. I've been real good." She nods. "Mam even got me a kitten."
"No, way!" I gasp. "What did you name it?"
"Rolo."
"Like the chocolates?"
"Mhmm."
"That's a good name." I smile again, but notice that I've lost Madi's attention. She's focused on something behind me, and from the looks of it, she isn't too happy to be seeing it.
It can only be one thing...
"Madi." Louis says from behind me, hatred dripping from his words.
"Louis." The seven year old folds her arms and cocks her hip. I assume that Louis is doing the same.
"It's Louis."
"It's stupid."
"You're stupid."
"I'm gonna tell my mam you called me stupid!"
"You called me stupid first, what the hell?"
"You're a weirdo."
Louis scoffs. "You're a brat!"
"Fuck off." Madi spins around and runs down the hall. I cover my mouth before she hears my burst of laughter, then spin to face Louis. He looks furious, and I just grin. Petty hatred between a seven year old girl and a boy who is almost an adult brings me such great joy. Truly.
"I hate her." Louis states. "No, actually, I loathe her. I despise her. I want to burn her at the stake."
"Be careful there. That's my cousin you're talking about."
"She's a demon." Louis pouts.
I just look at him. "Louis, you're a demon."
"She's the evil kind of demon." He explains. "I'm that one that spins around like a Tornado and garbles."
"That's Taz, and he's a devil."
"There. See? Obvious difference."
"Yeah." I nod. "You're the Demon CEO."
-
"So, what are you two doing?" I hear Harry ask as I try to balance my tray and push out my chair.
"Louis and I are currently eating out."
My best friend sets down his basket and helps me with my chair before sitting down in his own. Harry speaks again. "Like for dinner or each other?"
"What are you talking about?" I ask, poking Louis' nose and earning an almost bite. "Louis is my dinner."
"As long as you save some for me, yeah?" Harry plays along, and my eyes widen. Oh, no he didn't.
"Absolutely not. I'm eating all of him."
"All of me?" Louis questions. "Don't eat me. Eat Harry."
I kick him in the shin, and his eyes widen.
"Is Harry who you're talk to?" He seems mischievously enthused. I nod curtly, shooting him a deadly look. "Harry," Louis says loudly in hopes that Harry hears him through the phone. "Niall wants to lic-"
"Louis wants to get punched in the throat, is all that I'm hearing." I cut him off, Harry laughing loudly in my ear. He obviously heard everything Louis had said. "Sorry about that, Harry."
"No worries. Now all I have left to wonder is if Louis was going to say my chest or my ass."
You're entire body actually, yes please. Por favor. I need that in my life. I need it bad. "The world may never know." I say, popping a fry in my mouth.
"Don't chew on the phone, gross."
"Well, we're eating right now, so I have to."
"Why don't you Skype me later? Or in the morning? I have that concert tonight, and I want to tell you about it."
"What time is it there?" I ask him.
"Noon."
"Wow, time difference. Serious time difference. I can Skype you when it's midnight there? It'll be eight here, then."
"What?" Louis frowns. "We were supposed to sneak your parent's beer tonight. Why are you making early plans?"
I roll my eyes. "Harry, Louis says eight is too early."
"What if I Skype you at two here? That's makes it ten in Ireland."
"Louis," I pull my phone away from my mouth. "Is ten okay?"
"No. Make it this time tomorrow or I'm not coming to your pajama party tonight."
"But it's only us?"
"I'll lock the theater room door, and you'll be stuck with the demon." Louis states. "I might even convince Greg to come watch a movie with me."
"He's my brother, number one. He's married, number two. And you're dating Grimmy, Louis."
"What's Louis trying to do to your brother?" Harry asks through the phone. I move it back to my mouth to answer.
"Get in his pants."
"Is he cute?"
"HARRY."
"Are you Skyping me tomorrow, then?" He changes the subject.
"I can." I pop another fry into my mouth, and I can practically hear the disgust from Harry.
"Same time?"
"So Louis says."
"I always get what I want." Louis smiles, pleased with himself. "I always do."
"I can see your foundation line."
"Shit, really?" Louis drops his sandwich and dives for his purse to fix the nonexistent line. I watch him scramble for his compact, opening it and inspecting, only to find that I was lying to him. "Oh, you asshole."
"Hey, Niall, I have to go get ready for lunch with my mom." Harry calls back my attention. "She's meeting with Lana."
"Lana? As in Lana Del Rey? You're going to have lunch with the queen? You're going to meet Lana? Lana is my heart and soul. Harry, you have to tell her that I love her. You have to."
"No, my mom is meeting with Lana right now, and then afterwards my mom and I are going out to lunch." He explains. "Sorry, I got you excited."
"Can your mom tell her I love her?"
"Nope." There's a pregnant pause before Harry continues. "But she can get us four tickets to Lana's New York show. Meet and greet... if I clean my room."
"Clean your fucking room, you toddler!"
"Okay, dad." I can just imagine Harry rolling his eyes, and I try my best not to think about the implications of a slightly altered version of 'dad'.
"Did I just hear him call you daddy?" Louis asks loudly, and I start coughing, hoping Harry wasn't listening to him.
"No."
"Tell him you aren't daddy." Louis gestures to the phone, and I give him the finger. "But your brother? Totally is."
"I hate my friends."