Chapter 8
An anchor in the dark
Overwhelming.
That’s the only way to describe how I feel. I just came back to the Ninjan Pack and saw my family again. How many nights and days have I dreamt about this moment? Never once did it occur to me that it would be too much to take in.
The world is spinning around me as I’m walking further into the forest I played in as a child. The memories are rushing back to me. I fall to my knees on the mossy ground and take a deep breath. I love the smell here. It smells like home. Not the dry Island, but my real home. This is my home.
The Ninjan Wolf Spirits are surrounding me, has surrounded me since the moment I was lifted out of the helicopter. They recognize me and welcome me back like I’m their dearest friend. Their spirits are making my spirit stronger and I can literally hear everything inside the Ninjan territory.
But Jupiter left me the moment we arrived. It makes me nervous not to have him next to me, holding my hand. He is investigating this new land that will be his home from now on. I hope he does it quickly.
The nature is so beautiful here. How could I forget the warm feeling of the damp green forest? It is full of life. Insects are crawling around on and inside the dirt, animals are walking around searching for food and the smaller ones are hiding under bushes. I can see all that with my hearing. This is so much better than the city.
I’ll never forget the moment I saw my family again. I felt complete. The warm feeling of safety when my parents hugged me healed all the pain I felt during the years. No pain can reach me anymore. At least I felt like that until I took a closer look at Mary.
Mary, who is my twin soul, looked so weak and fragile. It broke my heart. Rosalea taught me how to notice illness and this illness isn’t even well hidden. How can they be so blind? Are they not aware what Mary is suffering from?
Her heart is weak, dying. It is impossible to cure. She might have a few years to live. Life feels so unfair. Did I get home just to have my sister stolen from me by death?
“Why?” I ask out loud to the Wolf Spirits.
They are mourning around me, unable to change my sister’s fate.
“Kate,” I hear Jupiter say to me.
“You’re back,” I state relieved and let my arms slide around his waist. “What do I do now? The seashells are for Mary.”
“They’ll make her feel better. How do you feel?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “What are they thinking of me?”
“Your mate wants to come out and look for you,” Jupiter says amused. “Princess keeps dragging him back.”
A warm fuzzy feeling fills me when I think of my mate. It is clouded by a worry why he thinks I don’t like him back. Why would I not care about him? Why would I not need him? I need emotional support after being alone for so long, how can he be so blind and not see that?
My older sister on the other hand hasn’t changed much. It’s my own way of viewing her that changed. I always looked up to Princess and in my memories she is tall strong and proud. Meeting her today made me realize that I’m not small anymore. It’s not a pleasant feeling to know that I have grown taller than her. She’s so small and sweet but blessed with a clever spirit.
It was a struggle to not fall down onto my knees when I saw her. I wanted to show my respect towards my Alpha. Her Alpha is shining through everything with its greatness and I’m left speechless at her inner power. It even clouds over the fact that she’s my sister. I always sensed that part of her. That’s why I always did what she told me. It’s much stronger now, more developed.
I’m a bit worried about the strong bond between Princess and Adam. I feel slightly jealous of it. They’re just friends, but I envy their closeness.
I’m starting to feel tired, but I can’t sleep yet. I must go back and celebrate our birthdays. I need to give them my gifts. Jupiter helps me up into standing position and I walk back to The Willow, that the Ninjan village is called. Jupiter is with me so I feel better.
Everyone is playing in the garden and the dinner on the table is gone. These wolves work fast, or was I gone for that long? A big chocolate cake is put on the middle of the table instead and I can feel how my mouth is watering by the sight of it.
“Kate!” Tom yells excitedly. “It’s time for cake.”
He seems to share my love for sweets. That’s cute. I look around for Adam and find him next to Princess on the porch. I walk up to them and grab Adam’s arm. His eyes are sparkling at me and make me mesmerised for a moment. I look at my thin hand on his muscular arm. It’s still hard to believe that it belongs there. It’s fantastic to feel the sparkles when our skin touches.
“Will you bring the gifts?” I ask him softly and he nods and walks into the house.
I’m left alone with Princess and I can’t help but admire her hair colour. I reach out my arm before I know what I’m doing. I just want to touch it. It feels smooth between my fingers and glisters like gold in the sunlight.
“Are you okay, Kate?” she asks me worriedly.
“I feel out of place,” I whisper with a sigh. “I haven’t seen my real hair colour for so long. It will take years to grow out.”
“You’re beautiful the way you are,” Princess ensures me. “You belong here with us. This is the last place you should feel out of place at.”
Adam comes back with Mary and Tom’s gifts in his arms. “Here you go sweetheart,” he says with a winning smile.
My heart literally stops. I can’t believe that I’m someone’s sweetheart. He finds me valuable enough to call me sweetheart! Just because he’s my mate doesn’t mean that I’ll take anything for granted. Adam is the last one I will take for granted.
Adam’s smile becomes a bit unsure from my silence and Princess knocks him hard in the head with her fist.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she lectures him. “Carry them down to the table.”
“Right, fine, of course!” he stutters and hurries down to the table.
“He’s so sweet, isn’t he?” she laughs.
“That wasn’t very kind of you,” I frown and can literally feel the pain in his head. I hope my sister won’t hit me like that. I’d fall down dead if she did.
“Adam can take it,” Princess says rolling her eyes. “You should see when he pushes me around. I love my paybacks though.”
“Okay,” I answer her elusively and take a step away from her before I turn around and follow Adam down to the table.
Princess didn’t grow out from her mischievous behaviour, that’s for sure.
I look at the table and admire the plates that are made so well. My gaze sops at a familiar set of plate and glass and I walk up to them and let my finger trail around the edges of them. Jupiter is standing right behind me and I feel comforted by him. This is the plate and glass Mother always sent with my cookies and milk. Everyone falls quiet around me and I can feel them staring at me.
I thought the staring would stop on Rosalea. Why is everyone so keen on watching me eat? Disappointment starts building up inside of me but is stopped when Adam puts the two presents in front of me. I look down on them relieved and in hope that they are watching me because of these.
I dare to look up and find Tom and Mary waiting patiently for me to say anything.
“I bought you two presents on my way back here,” I say awkwardly. “It’s not much, but I hope you’ll like it.”
I pass over the gifts to them and they start tearing off the papers expectantly. Mary squeals when she sees the fantastic dress I bought her and Tom makes a shout of joy and waves his dagger in the air.
“This is so cool!” he cheers. “All my friends will envy me for having a native dagger!”
I’m not sure what he means by that so I shrug it off.
“I love it so much Kate!” Mary almost cries.
“I thought you’d want a change from all uniforms,” I add quietly.
“It’s such a gift for all of us to have you home again. Just tell us if there’s anything you want and need. I’ll make sure you’ll get it,” Father promises me proudly.
“I want cake,” I say and everyone breaks out laughing at my simple request. They can’t possibly know that we didn’t eat any kind of sweets on Rosalea.
Adam takes my hand under the table and warm tingles go through my body. I can get used to this. Live happily ever after and cherish every moment of this.
I gulp down the cake quickly. I just love the sugary taste of it. My eyelids are starting to fall down and I grab Adam hard so I don’t fall off the chair.
“I need to get some rest,” I say weakly.
“Are you alright?” Adam asks worriedly.
“Just sleepy,” I sigh and let him help me up from my chair.
He escorts me into the house and I can feel my parents watch me with concern. I’m just happy they aren’t jumping all over me. I appreciate that they are giving me space to breathe.
I take a good look inside my old room and I feel the familiar feeling of home grab me. I like to sleep in the wild, but I guess I can sleep here tonight. My bed is just where it always was and my old toys are on the shelf above it. Mary’s stuff is dominating the room and I like the energy in here. It’s very lived in and bigger since Tom has Princess’ old room now.
They waited for me to get back. They never lost hope even after all these years. Princess is right, this is still my home. They didn’t clean me out and they didn’t forget about me.
I throw my arms around Adam and breathe in his scent. I can feel his breathing hitch up and I like it. I like that I’m his sweetheart.
“What are you thinking about, mate?” I ask him hoarsely and look into his warm blue eyes.
“You,” he says intensely.
“What about me?” I wonder, eager to know more.
He leans down and kisses me. His lips are soft and I open my mouth in surprise. His tongue slips in and my whole body starts burning with excitement. I kiss him back, completely lost in the passion and moan louder when he drags me closer to his body. I drag my fingers through his hair and the other one down his back.
I just love the feel of him. I don’t want to stop touching him. Sparkles are flying everywhere around us and I moan louder. I never thought a kiss could feel this good.
I retreat with a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest. “This will help me sleep better,” I say thoughtfully and climb into my bed. My eyelids drop down and I’m dead to the world as I fall into sleep in pure exhaustion.
-
The moonlight wakes me up next. I feel confused for a few seconds before I realize that I am in mine and Mary’s room. I sit up straight and fall off the bed when I feel a warm body lying next to me. The fall onto the floor hurts and I swear lightly before looking up at a dazed Mary. She blinks at me a few times and frowns.
“What are you doing down there? Did I kick you out?”
I shake my head, confused over the fact that she’s in my bed when her own much cosier is across the room.
“I fell out,” I mumble, but she has no problem hearing me. I make my way up to her bed and snuggle down into it. If she steals my bed, I can steal hers!
“I’m sorry,” she says ashamed. “I didn’t think you would mind. I thought my heart would hurt less if I were close to you.”
“Mary,” I sigh. “Did you see a doctor?”
“Not since my last check-up two years ago,” she answers wondering. “Did you?”
“I lived with a doctor,” I tell her with closed eyes. “He was actually a nice man. Not that I ever could forgive him for what he did to us. I saw him almost kill you. He’s sure you died.”
“I almost died,” she whispers. “Then life had no meaning anymore when I found out that you were gone. Did he treat you nicely?”
“He never lifted a hand at me,” I start telling her. “Keeping me as his prisoner is not nice though. He took me to an Island. It’s like paradise itself. I was allowed to walk freely because the whole Island was my prison. The people there were so kind. They knew so much about medicine and I educated myself to a master herbalist while I was there. Other Islands took sick people to us so we could cure them. Some were treatable, others were not. I need one single look at a person to see if there’s anything wrong with them.”
Marys climbs up in her bed and looks down on me. Her eyes are clouded with worry and I put my hand at her heart. Only a heart specialist would be able to hear the difference in her heart beats. I can barely hear the difference, but I can feel it in my spirit and see it in her aura the most. Her deformed heart isn’t hard to find with the right sources at hand.
“I could barely feel the pain when it started six years ago. It got worse since then. It doesn’t go a single minute without pain. I just want it to stop so badly.” Mary’s eyes are brimming with tears and I pull her down into a hug and let her cry her pain out.
I sneak out to the kitchen when she is calm again. My herb bags are waiting for me in there and I quickly pick up a bunch of dried flowers. I carefully carry it over to the workbench and pick up a sharp knife to roughly chop them. I search through the cupboards until I find an empty tin can I can store them in. I will have to prepare the rest another day.
I return to our bedroom with a cup of hot seashell tea. It smells fantastic but would be dangerous for me with a healthy heart to drink. It would put it into overdrive. It will give Mary’s that extra push to beat normally so it won’t hurt as much. If only it could cure her.
“I’ve got you your tea,” I say to Mary as I enter the bedroom. “I promise it will make you feel better again.”
I quickly scan the room and find the blue lovely dress neatly folded on a chair. Books about gardening and plants are strewn across the desk and I wonder if she knows anything about the herbs in the woods here. I’m eager to learn everything about them. There must be someone around who can teach me.
“Thanks,” she says with a smile and reaches for the cup. She takes a few sips and licks her tongue. “Not bad.”
I can’t tell her. I don’t want to crush her world and tell her that she is dying. At least not now after we just celebrated our birthday. I make sure she drinks it all and we go to sleep in separate beds this time.
“I always dreamed of having you here again,” Mary says into the dark. “What if I wake up tomorrow and find it was all a dream?”
“I hope not,” I answer her. “I don’t want to be out there on my own anymore.”
I’m home but I don’t feel completely safe. I listen to Mary when she finally falls into a deep sleep and I sigh loudly. Where is safe then? I think of Adam and the kiss we just shared.
“Jupiter,” I call for him and he shows himself with a smile plastered on his face. “I’m going to see my mate. Will you stay here and look after Mary?”
He doesn’t tear his eyes away from me while he nods. “I will gladly look after her.”
I peck his cheek before I jump out the window. The night is colder here than I’m used to. I shiver slightly as I walk along the paved road, in direction of Adam’s faint snoring.
The whole village is peacefully asleep. Their lovely gardens are filled with fireflies and I don’t think anything can beat this beauty. Not even the big sea. I don’t know why I was so scared to come home. I was so afraid that I would miss my life on the Island that I forgot how it felt to be here. I’m free now and it feels better to be free.
I stop outside a small cottage that is painted green. The garden is quite small but nicely attended to. I wonder if Adam built this himself. I hope his girlfriend won’t hate me for breaking into their house and lives.
I walk through the front door and am greeted with a joined kitchen and living room. A door leads to a big bedroom and Adam is sleeping shirtless on his bed on top of his covers. Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?
I gulp as I make my way up to this sleeping god. I will not do a Mary and scare him to death so I slowly let my fingers slide up and down his arm so he wakes up calmly. The touch tingles through my whole arm and I blush at my action.
“Kate?” he says sleepily. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to be with my mate,” I answer him sensibly. “Do you mind?”
What if he does mind? Why did I ask that! He looks at me with his intense eyes and I gulp again at the want in them.
“You come in the middle of the night to see your mate, a man with hot needs while he’s not dressed,” he says pointedly.
I roll my eyes and climb into the bed so I can lie down next to him. I haven’t seen his cat yet, the Wolf Spirit knows what it is up to at this moment.
“I don’t expect you to be a gentleman in the bed too,” I tease him. “But it would be too soon to mate, don’t you think?”
He groans but doesn’t complain. His tiredness takes over again and I quickly start fighting to free the blanket under him. He rolls off it so I can roll it around me.
“Kate I was joking!” he says startled. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Duh,” I snort. “I’m freezing to death. I’m used to a much warmer climate just like you seem to be used to something colder.”
He wraps his arms around me with a chuckle and I feel the corners of my mouth twitching. I am slowly warming up and I feel safe here, in Adam’s arms. I feel safe with the fact that Jupiter is looking after Mary.