~Mya~
I kept quiet as I walked the short distance from Danny's room to Cal's, all the while being overly aware of Cal following right behind me. I wasn't sure I was ready for what was about to happen, the talk I knew we needed to have.
It would be pointless of me to deny that I'd had feelings beyond friendship where Cal was concerned for a long time, but just because the feelings were there, I wasn't sure it was such a good idea to act on them, for either of us. All I could think about was Hannah and how she would feel about this, and while she'd made me promise to look after her boys, I was pretty sure this wasn't what she ment.
Cal had been the love of her life, she'd told me that two months after she met him, and from the way he was with her, she'd been the love of his too. I hated the fact that I was jealous and slightly resentful of my dead best friend, but the fact was that if I let myself get tangled up in Cal in a romantic way, I would always have to live with the knowledge that I would forever be second best.
If things had been different and Hannah had been alive, there would never have been even a possibility of me and Callum. And as her best friend, how could I live with myself if I got involved with her widowed husband?
I loved Cal and Danny, but I'd been happy loving them from afar for a long long time, so this really didn't seem like a good idea at all.
Before I knew it I was standing at the edge of Cal's large bed, my arms crossed over my chest, biting my lip as I watched him close the bedroom door before he turned to face me. God, he was handsome.
I'd always thought that, even when I only thought of him as Hannah's husband, my friend. I remember the first time Hannah introduced us and for a second I felt a tinge of pure jealousy shoot through my veins. He was this tall handsome charming guy with the most breathtaking smile and a deep infectious laugh. And the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. Hannah was always vague when she talked about what he did for a living, and eventually I learned not to ask, but I wasn't stupid and I wasn't blind. When I really started to put the pieces together and learned who he really was and the kind of things he was involved in, it took a lot for me to really wrap my head around it. He was such a nice guy, kind and gentle, something I'd never expect from a man rumored to be the leader of the Irish mob. Then again, everyone has more than one side to them, and once or twice I'd witnessed his less than kind side, but it had never been directed at me.
There was a period, right after Hannah died, that I didn't even recognize him. He grew cold, detached, and the only person he showed any real affection was Danny. I didn't blame him though, he was grieving the loss of the woman he loved, but it hurt because at times he'd look at me and all I could see in his eyes were hate. I don't know how, but deep down I knew that hate stemmed from an unvoiced wish that it was me who'd died instead. I didn't blame him that either, mostly because I felt the exact same way.
The first couple of months after Hannahs death had been really hard on everyone involved, and when he wasn't being outright cold with me, he was doing everything he could to push me away, to keep me out of his and Danny's life. But that, that was the one thing I couldn't give him. I'd made my best friend a promise that I would look after her boys when she couldn't do it herself anymore, and no matter how hard it would be, I wasn't going to break that promise. So I pushed through it, I pushed my way into their lives in a way I made it clear I was there to stay, and eventually things changed.
He stopped looking at me with hate in his eyes, and he grew less cold, slowly morphing back to the man he'd always been, but Hannah's death changed him and it wasn't all bad, but it was clear it was a permanent change.
And now... he was standing five feet away, studying me closely. We were in his bedroom after he'd pretty much declared he intended to have me in his bed (and keep me there), if I hadn't completely misunderstood his intentions, which I was quite sure I hadn't.
"You look like you're considering making a run for it." His voice carried across the room, and I stopped biting my lip, shrugged and wrapped my arms tighter around myself.
"That's because I am." I whispered my admittion, and his eyes grew alert even as his face softened.
"Talk to me." He ordered and took a step toward me. I tensed unconciously, he saw it and stopped moving, and only then could I get my lips to move with the words coming out in a soft voice.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Cal. You and me. It's too complicated, and if it doesn't work out, I might lose you both and I can't risk that. Hannah was your wife and my best friend, I made her a promise before she died that I'd look after you and Danny, but I don't think this is the way to do it. Why can't we just keep things as they are? Just remain friends and keep things uncomplicated."
"You're right, this is complicated. Hannah was my wife and your best friend. But the truth is, Hannah's gone, Mya, and she's been gone for a long time. I loved her, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, but that didn't happen. She gave me a beautiful boy before she died, a little boy that never had the chance to know her, but he reminds me of her every day. And that boy, he loves you. And I've denied it for a long fucking time, but in one way or another I've loved you for years too, and I'm finally ready to admit that fact."
God, part of me loved every word he was saying, but it didn't change how I felt.
"I love you too," I admitted quietly because I could do nothing else, "and I wish that was enough, but I feel like just the thought of being anything more than your friend is a betrayal to her memory. You, of all people, have to understand that."
I was surprised when he smiled and stayed hyper alert as he started moving, walked right past me and I found myself turning to keep him in my sights, watching as he walked to his nightstand, pulled open the top drawer and retrieved what looked like an old piece of paper. I stayed completely still, only following him with my eyes as he came back to me and with a foot of distance between us, he held the paper out to me.
My eyes stayed locked with his as I unfolded my arms and reached out to take it from him. I glanced down at the paper, skimmed through the words on it and frowned.
"I don't understand." I murmured and looked back up at him.
"She gave me that, a week before she died."
I looked down at the paper again as he kept talking.
"She informed me that she expected me to move on with my life after she was gone. To open myself up to love again, and find happiness with someone else. She'd even taken it upon herself to write a list of women she found acceptable for me to move on with, women she ment was suitable to be in mine and Danny's life."
I kept looking at the paper and felt my heart start pounding as what I was reading eventually registered in my brain.
"In the end, there was only one name on the list. Your's Mya. You're the only one she'd approve of me moving on with. You're worried that your betraying her if you give what we could have a chance, but what you haven't known until now is that she wanted this all along. I think, in her own way, by giving me this list and making you promise to look after us, she was pushing us together. She was doing her part to get us here, but I fell in love with you because you're everything that you are. And for some reason, you fell in love with me too. The way I see it, if you don't give this - us - a chance, that's a betrayal of her wishes."
Seriously, he was trying to manipulate me now, using Hannah to do it? And the worst part was, it was working. The tears were flowing freely now, and my emotions were all over the place, and I felt like a wreck as I tore my eyes from the letter and looked at him.
"What if it doesn't work? I could lose both you and Danny, and you're the only family I have, Callum. I can't lose you."
"Baby," he said softly, and I closed my eyes as he put one hand on my waist, used the other to cup my cheek, "do you honestly think I'd get involved with you if I wasn't serious about this. And even if the impossible happens and we don't work, no matter what happens, I swear to you that you won't lose us, Mya. I swear, baby."
"You're making it really hard to say no." I whispered, sniffling as I leaned into his hand, my eyes fluttering open when I felt his lips against my temple.
"That's the point." I smiled, shook my head and leaned into him.
"I'm not saying yes," I said softly, still slightly sniffling, "but I'm not saying no either." I gave in, at least temporarily.
"I'm not worried, you'll see things my way soon enough." I couldn't help it. I was tired, an emotional wreck, and I'd just had my entire world turned up-side down, but after he said that, I started laughing.
And while I did, Cal wrapped his arms around me, held me through it, and when I was done we crawled into bed - together.
***
~Shay~
So, I really screwed up, didn't I? I mean, I tried telling myself that it was just a one-time thing brought on by the pretty extreme circumstances and our (obviously) mutual physical attraction, but deep down I knew it was more than that. I'd been uncomfortable around Ian from the very beginning, partly because he was a pretty intimidating guy, but mostly it was because I think I knew from the moment I saw him that what just happened was a real possibility. And now, naked in bed, held in his arms after he just fu**ed me, well, I didn't really know how to go on from there.
I mean, I hadn't exactly made things less complicated had I? Still, as far as I was concerned it was no more than a stupid one-night stand and was never to be repeated again. Ian didn't exactly strike me as the type who'd be interested in any kind of relationship anyways, so I was pretty sure I could sway him to my way of thinking if he wasn't already there with me.
My eyes closed as I felt him roll out of the bed behind me, and I didn't make a sound or movement to alert him that I was awake. I wasn't quite ready to face him yet, to talk about what had happened and how it could never happen again. I needed time to process the fact that it happened first, and I was hoping and praying that Ian would understand that and give it to me.
Intense as he was, scary as he could come across as, I could tell that despite the fact he wasn't exactly a lawabiding citizen, he was a good guy.
A relieved exhale pushed out as I heard the shower turn on and realized that he, like me, was in no hurry to talk about what had just happened. The more I thought about it, the less I worried. Ian Grady was not the kind of man who dwelled on a one-night stand. He took what he wanted, left it at that, and didn't much care for complications. Honestly, aside from me being stupid and sleeping with the man who was keeping me safe from Colombian drugdealers out to kill me, this wasn't as bad as I'd made it out to be.
Sure, things might be a little awkward moving forward, but I'm sure we'd both get over that soon enough and then everything would go back to normal, hopefully.
"Petal. Shower's free if you want it." I jumped in surprise and whipped my head around to see Ian standing in the open bathroom door. He was wearing his jeans and nothing else. There were drops of water on his chest and his hair was messy and rumpled from the shower, and that only made him look even more sexy. It was kind of unfair that he was so damn attractive. Keeping my mind off him would be a hell of a lot easier if he'd been just a little less attractive.
"Okay," I murmured and turned my head away, holding the sheet to my chest with one hand, planting the other in the mattress and using it to push myself up so I could swing my legs over the side of the bed and plant them on the floor.
I wrapped the sheet around me like a dress before I turned to face him, but it was a real struggle meeting his eyes. Clearing my voice after taking a deep breath, I lifted my eyes to his and squared my shoulders as I moved to the dresser where I'd put the little clothes I'd brought with me, and pulled out the top drawer in search of fresh underwear. This was a task that was difficult to accomplish while I felt Ian's eyes on my every move, and part of me wanted to ask what he was thinking, but a bigger part of me just wanted to pretend like nothing had happened between us, so I kept my mouth shut.
When I was about to skirt him on my way to the bathroom, he stopped me by grabbing onto my elbow and I froze as my head snapped back and my eyes locked with his. For what felt like an eternity he just watched me, his violently blue eyes moving over my face and I swallowed under his obvious scrutiny.
"You think it was a mistake." He noted finally, and I didn't say anything, just stared at him. My breath grew shallow as he used the grip he had on my elbow to pull me closer and I had to tilt my head even further back to keep hold of his eyes.
"It was no mistake, Shay. And fair warning, it'll happen again." I closed my eyes as he pushed his lips against my damp forhead. Then he let me go and stepped away, and I stood frozen in the door, watching him as he walked out of the bedroom and I couldn't get myself to move before I heard noises from the other room.
Once I was safely locked away in the bathroom, standing under the hot spray of the shower, I pressed my hands against the tile and drew in a deep breath. So much for keeping things uncomplicated.
***
A/N:
Hey guys, long time, no write!
Sorry about that! I have so much going on inside my head that these stories just keep dragging out, but this story is ready to be continued at least for the time being so I'm doing my best to sporadically do just that.
As you know, this tells the story of two couples, and Cal and Mya's story is going to be as uncomplicated as possible, per their wishes. Now Ian and Shay, they have a long way to go and a lot of hurdles to overcome before potentially getting their happy ending, but I hope you will all stay with me through their journey and see where it goes.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm crossing my fingers that another one will be up shortly!
Until next time ;)